People Help The People
by RUMad
Summary: An Au, kinda, Season 3; Rachel is a bad-ass rebel, leader of the skanks and the new kid at McKinley High School; as well as Quinns new best friend. What could possibly happen? Now rated M for language
1. RIP Purple Piano

**I know this kinda thing has been done before but I wanted to give it a go :/**

**Posted: 16/1/12**

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><p><span>Prologue: R.I.P Purple Piano<span>

"Where's Quinn?" Finn said looking round the room for his ex-girlfriend, the girl had broken up with his shortly after the beginning of the summer break.

The rest of the glee club looked round the room, it suddenly occurring to them that they were a member short.

Artie was the first to dare volunteer some information "I don't know, haven't seen her all summer" he said with a shrug.

"She's been hanging round with that new girl" Mercedes interrupted, a bitchy hint in her voice, already showing what she thought of this 'new girl'.

"Oh that punk... Rachel something" Kurt added, sounding as irritated as his fellow diva

"Yeah I know the one, she fell asleep in English this morning" Puck chuckled, their English teacher was dead scary, he thought it was kinda cool how she'd dared to tell the teacher the truth about their teaching methods "she then threatened jewfro for just looking at her" he chuckled

"I tried talking Quinn into rejoining the Cheerios, she said that wasn't her anymore and she had new friends" Santana actually sounded like she missed the other blonde

...

"Quinn?" Mercedes stood at the mouth of the lion's den... well not quite; she stood in front of the 'skanks'. The group of girls seemed to be covered in a haze and fog of cigarette smoke as half of them had one hanging from their mouths, or poised between fingers.

The now pink haired girl was the second to last to turn her attention to the intruder. She slowly turned to confront her old friend

"What happened Quinn?" the diva and glee club co-captain asked, she wasn't scared... well that's just what she kept telling herself.

Behind the newest member of the skanks, stood two girls, one skinny; we'd later learn they call her Mack, another larger who looked like she was ready to beat the crap out of anyone who looked at her funny. Two were sat down further away; one large girl watching them and another behind her, sunglasses on, with their head rolled back and snoring loudly.

"I got some new friends Mercedes" she said bluntly. She really wanted the girl to just leave before she got hurt, Mercedes had shown her respect in her time of need, even if she'd had to earn it first, either way she just wanted the diva to leave.

"The glee club misses you Quinn, we need you... this isn't where you belong" she shuffled her feet nervously. Even though her voice hadn't betrayed her The Mack was closing in, like she could smell the fear.

"You only need me because you're now one member short to qualify for competition" she took a drag on her cigarette before dropping it to the ground and grinding it against the ground with the heel of her boot "and how would you know where I belong?" she snapped "You don't know me"

"I thought we got closer since sophomore year" Mercedes defended "When you moved into my house for that short amount of time" she chose to not bring up anything too sour from Quinn's past

"These are my friends now, they don't judge me" the new skank, former cheerio, former pregnant teen, sneered at her former, self elected, glee captain.

"We never judged you Quinn" Mercedes tried, but Quinn heard it as a lie. Rachel hadn't brainwashed her, only pointed out what she already knew, they chose Finn over her.

"You okay, Q?" was heard from behind Quinn, the girl who had been sleeping stepped forward revealing herself; ripped jeans, a t-shirt with some sort of band name on it, a leather jacket, doc martins on her feet, and sunglasses over her eyes. She had a pink streak in her hair, and the outline of a star tattooed just below her collar bone. When she opened her mouth to speak Mercedes noticed a tongue piercing.

"Yeah, I'm fine" Quinn said over her shoulder before she turned back to the diva "I'm where I want to be Mercedes" she said lowly

"Well you know where we are when you come to your senses" she quickly left before one of the other girls could attack her.

...

At lunch time the glee club were grouped together as they made their way outside to the courtyard. They immediately noticed an unwelcome guest leaning against the purple piano, _their _purple piano.

"Excuse me, what are you doing to our Piano?" Kurt asked, one hand on his hip, the other clutching the strap of his bag over his shoulder. Most of the rest of the glee club stood behind him, some curious, others worried that someone would make a spectacle of themselves further humiliating the club.

Santana and Brittany watched from afar with the rest of the Cheerios. The entire courtyard watched intently while continuing their idle chatter. The Cheerio's had more purpose to watch though, especially the two unhappy co-captains. They hoped Coach Sylvester's instructions given to the Latina would be carried out by the slightly intoxicated girl, who was holding a nearly full bottle of vodka, leaning against the piano in the courtyard.

"I'm doing no harm" she said casually "What's the deal with these things, anyway?" the brunette asked as she tapped the top of the piano.

"They're for our glee club assignment" Tina decided to volunteer a simple explanation

"What's glee club?" she asked casually as she intrusively ran her fingers over the keys.

"It's our show choir group" Rachel snorted but Kurt didn't falter "I along with Mercedes here are co-captains"

Rachel just nodded as she glanced back at the piano. Then as she turned to look back at the glee club, her eyes found Quinn and their other friends in the crowd. She held that hazel gaze for a moment with a smirk before she addressed the group "And ah, what's the assignment?"

"We have to stop and improvise a performance when we see the piano" Mercedes offered that explanation, but with bite in her tone.

Rachel laughed nearly spilling some of the alcohol "So like triggered musical tourettes or something"

The glee club didn't look impressed, they didn't like the way she was resting on their piano and kept eyeing it with that devious smirk "We should report you for having alcohol, on the school grounds"

"Oh you can't blame me" she mock pouted "You see this really hot girl in a cheerleader outfit gave me a load of alcohol to use to burn down this piano, then just a minute ago, this short girl" she held out a hand indicating a height "with blonde hair and glasses, insulted me, calling me an ass, and said I was supposed to _use_ the alcohol to burn down the piano"

The club looked at her angry and horrified "If someone told you to jump off a cliff would you do it" Kurt yelped his question. Why was this girl following instructions from strangers when she obviously wasn't the type to follow orders?

"If they were hot enough" the tipsy brunette shrugged. She continued before they could get another word in "So! You have to give a performance every time you see one of these" she tapped the top of the piano again, and stood up properly "Well then, captain my captain" she mocked "It would be a shame for this piano to go without a little show"

She smirked at the glee club as she stepped up, standing on the keys, playing no tune, just noise, with the heel of her boot. She took another step, managing to not lose her balance in her tipsy state, as she stood on the top of the upright piano.

Rachel started tapping her foot as if along to a beat of a song playing in her head, while she as took a cigarette out of a carton and tucked it behind her ear, all before she started singing to the courtyard.

"_Take me into the night and I'm an easy lover"_

Her voice slurred but matched the original song; she smirked at the club who looked disgusted. Quinn watched from the side with her other new friends, amused at the show Rachel was putting on.

"_Take me into the fight and I'm an easy brother"_

She took the cigarette from behind her ear and took the tip in her mouth, so it stuck to the moisture on her lip.

"_And I'm on fire"_

She sang with the cigarette hanging from her mouth, she took out a lighter from the back pocket on her ripped jeans and lit the cigarette on the word 'fire'.

"_Burn my sweet effigy"_

She poured the rest of the cheap vodka on the keys of the piano below her.

"_I'm a road runner"_

She then smashed the bottle on the keys too, the glee club stepped back as the shards of glass flew everywhere.

"_Spill my guts on a wheel"_

All the time that cigarette is hanging on her lip as she slurred sang.

"_I wanna taste uh-huh"_

She smirked at Kurt and Mercedes directly as she took a drag on the cigarette.

"_And I'm on fire"_

She held the cigarette out in front of her teasingly.

"_And I'm on fire"_

Rachel paused before letting go of the cigarette, the glee club, watched in horror as the lit cigarette ignited the alcohol on their beloved new piano.

"_I'm on fire..."_

She held the note, the back ground lyrics forgotten, as the flames licked at her boots.

"_And I'm on fire..."_

Mr Schue and Miss Pillsbury appeared on the court yard, looking at the scene in horror. Once Rachel finished the line, Quinn ran over and tugged at her hand encouraging her to jump down from the piano; they ran away, hand in hand laughing loudly.

**Would any one like to read any more? Let me know...**

**This was just a brief start: If I write more; I'd have a bit of how Q and R met in upcoming chapters if you're interested**


	2. See you smile

**Thanks for reviewing: Nat, Sara, scissorhands17, TrustInFaith, Monichanz, Broadwayfreak, JaviHBIC, fay, WhatHurtsMeMost, fatima343, Mrdr-MistressPadfoot, faberryxxx, thatdamnyank, Anon, Ad3n, f00f00, insert25centshere, G6-flying and Cassicio.**

**Posted: 21/1/12**

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><p><span>See you smile<span>

'_Cause you can't stop the beat  
>Ever scince this old world began<br>A woman found that if she shook it  
>she could shake up a man<br>And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy it  
>The best that I can today...<em>

'_Cause you can't stop  
>The motion of the ocean<br>Or the sun in the sky  
>You can wonder if you wanna<br>But I never ask why_

_And if you try to hold me down  
>I'm gonna spit in your eye and say<br>That you can't stop the beat!_

Quinn watched from her hiding place, as her old friends performed in the auditorium. She suddenly froze when she heard movement behind her, she quickly looked back over her shoulder to confront whoever was sneaking up on her "Hey" her expression softened from a scowl to a smile "What are you doing up here?"

"I was looking for you" Rachel said casually "So... do you miss it?" she gestured with a nod to behind Quinn where she could see and hear the glee club still performing.

"No" Quinn answered simply, as she looked back at the group.

"... You know you're my best friend right Q?" Rachel said as she casually slide into place next to the former blonde.

"Yeah" Quinn answered, she wasn't stupid, of course Rachel was her friend. She'd quickly become a true best friend.

"And" Rachel leant forward against the railing, arms folded on the top as she continued her cautious speech. She wouldn't take shit from anyone, but Quinn had a way of getting away with just about anything "With how quickly we got close over the summer..."

"Spit it out Rae" Quinn sighed.

"I like seeing you happy" The usually tough punk admitted those words bluntly.

"Careful your soft side's showing" she shoved the brunettes elbow playfully with her own.

"Only for you" she grinned, Quinn just rolled her eyes "... but back to my point, I like seeing you happy... and seeing you smile. I'll understand if you want to go back to them"

Quinn chuckled "... no thanks"

"They were your friends for all that time, they helped you through... things Q." Quinn turned to look at her, ready to scarily glare her way out of Rachel saying any more on that exact subject, but the girl, with the single pink streak in her hair, kept her own gaze on the glee club below "So if you'd be happier round them... well I'll still be your friend, I mean not here but on the weekends and... stuff"

Quinn really contemplated the idea of going back for a moment, but only a moment. Glee club had been her home, but the skanks... that was home too now, and she _actually_ felt welcome there "... would you go with me?"

Rachel laughed at the idea "Ah no, I don't think so"

"Why? because they're losers?" Quinn snapped, she sounded offended too.

"No, I don't think they'd welcome me with open arms, I did burn down their piano" Rachel cringed "While slightly intoxicated on school grounds... I was given more alcohol than I used" she added, not wanting this girl to think she was a light weight, or something.

"Oh yeah" Quinn laughed.

"It doesn't seem to have got to them" the brunette with the pink streak in her hair gestured to the gleeful kids on the stage again.

"No, they're strong, they've got through a lot of crap" the ex-blonde replied sadly "So you wouldn't follow me?" she checked again.

"Nope" Rachel replied, making sure to pop the 'p'.

"I'm sure they'd forgive you, you're a really good singer and you could easily make it up to them"

"It's just..." she turned to look at the pink haired girl seriously "I've been there" she reluctantly admitted.

"Glee club?" Quinn shot a look to the brunette.

"Yep" she nodded "at my last school. For a while... I was a bigger diva than those two down there put together"

"Really?" she classically raised an eyebrow

"Yeah" she chuckled "so I know how close you can get in teams like that"

"They're just a very dysfunctional family" she reminded herself, and started to dismiss the idea of ever returning to the glee club "Even more dysfunctional than my real family before my mom kicked my dad out" that was said less humorously

"I'd know about that too"

"I know, you said the day we met"

Flashback

"Hi, we live next door, we just wanted to introduce ourselves" Judy Fabray said as she cautiously walked up the neighbour's driveway, approaching the tall dark skinned man, that seemed to be struggling with an over sized box, that had 'Rachel's shit' lazily scrawled across the side.

"Hi" his voice was strained as he kept the greeting short and simple. He quickly placed the box by his feet. Ne turned to smile warmly at the two blonde women "Leroy Berry" he extended his had to shake the blonde woman's hand politely.

"Judy Fabray" she smiled back and shook his hand "and this is my daughter" she introduced the silent girl stood behind her

"Quinn" she said as she stepped forward and shook his hand too "Nice to meet you sir"

"Please call me Leroy, and it's nice to meet both of you. I have a daughter too, Rachel" that's who the box belonged to then "god knows where she's got too. She said she was going to look around town. She'll be starting her senior year at McKinley after the summer"

"Oh so will Quinn, won't you dear" her mother said, eager to let the stranger know everything. Quinn just nodded politely, in agreement.

"Well, I better start un packing" he looked to the box at his feet, that he'd probably just put it in the garage for now, until Rachel wanted it.

"Of course, it was nice to meet you. We should have coffee sometime" Judy suggested

"That would be great" he nodded and smiled again "Oh and Quinn, you don't have to, but I'm going to be at work tomorrow, if you could maybe come over, check on Rachel, she's been through some tough times" he added sadly making Quinn feel even more compelled to do a good deed, this girl was probably a total loser, but whatever "I don't want to burden you, but it would be nice if she could perhaps meet at least one person who's going to be at school with her"

"I'll make sure I stop by tomorrow" she replied politely, knowing her mom would only volunteer her if she didn't.

"Thank you. It's just, my husband and I recently divorced" amazingly, and luckily, that didn't seem to bother Judy "and her younger siblings are with her other father, and there were a few other things and... she's not who she used to be" he smiled sadly

"I'll make sure, Quinn introduces herself" Judy reassured him "And if you need anything, we're just next door"

Quinn was a little amazed at her mother, she was okay that her new neighbour was gay, divorced, and had a troubled daughter... and she was encouraging Quinn to spend time with this obviously troubled teen.

"Thank you, it's nice to know I've moved to such a nice town" the man smiled.

'_You wait till you meet the homophobes'_ Quinn felt like saying out loud, but this man seemed to be going through some tough times, and he didn't need anything to else to worry about.

They left after a few more polite words.

...

The next day Judy basically shoved a freshly cooked pie into Quinn's hands, and demanded she take it to their new neighbours. '_Seriously, when does this woman ever make anything... except a mess of her own life when she'd had a few too many?_' The blonde haired girl, in the baby doll dress and thin cardigan, thought to herself as she made the short trek from her own front door to the next houses'

She rang the doorbell and waited, she looked down at her feet until she heard the front door open, and then looked up to greet the new face but faltered when she wasn't really met with the sort of girl she expected to see.

"Can I help you-" the girl said abruptly, but as soon as she actually looked at Quinn a cocky smirk grew on her face, she folded her arms across her chest and casually lent on the door frame "Hi, and what can I do for you?"

The blonde completely missed the tone the other girl was trying to use in an attempt to flirt... in some sort of way

The girl lent against the door frame, had a bright pink streak in her hair to the right of her face, a slightly noticeable tongue piercing, she was wearing a blue, loose vest top, and dark skinny jeans, she had two star tattoos; one just below her collar bone on her left side, the other, just another black outline on her wrist.

"Sorry... I'm looking for Rachel?" she furrowed her brow, as she glanced past this girl

"That's me" she answered confidently and even thought it was obvious Quinn still missed the other girl checking her out

"O-kay" she said slowly, then furrowed her brow again "... sorry I just thought... well I met your dad yesterday and I thought you'd look different..."

Rachel finally caught on to what she was saying "Oh you assumed I'd be black" she chuckled

"Yeah, kinda stupid of me, sorry about that" she muttered, embarrassed.

"Don't be" she smiled, not smirking anymore "I'm not biologically related to my dad" she quickly explained "Obviously"

"Yeah" Quinn said shyly "Oh this is for you" she passed the pie "Cherry"

"My favourite" so the small talk was going well "So I've moved from the big city to a town where the neighbours bake pies for one another"

"Well not exactly, I don't know what came over my mother... and don't worry, she bought the pastry, and the filling was from a can, so it should be safe to eat" she laughed lightly

Rachel smiled at the sound of Quinn's laugh "do you want to come in... I was just about to have lunch, maybe we could eat some pie" she suggested, with an eye brow raise

She hesitated for a moment "...Sure" what did she have to lose.

End flashback

"So if you want to go back, I guess I'll understand" there was a hint of a smirk on Rachel's face "I'll still have Shelia, Ronny and the Mack" she sighed, 'pretending' Quinn's absence in her life would hurt more than it really did.

Quinn, again, rolled her eyes "No, I don't need them"

"...What if they need you?" Rachel asked cautiously

Quinn thought about it "Mercedes and Kurt have it covered" she shrugged "I'm sure they'll get a new member to fill that space" she turned to leave "come on I need a cigarette" Rachel followed without thinking twice

**Let me know what you think...**


	3. Trouble

**AN: This is for aquarius127 as they asked for an update. Hope this is okay.**

**Posted: 22/4/12**

Trouble

While Rachel stood sifting through her locker she could feel someone watching her, no wait, more specifically 2 people watching her.

"What dya want; twinkle toes cheerio's?" She asked before slamming the locker to reveal the Latina and Blonde cheerio's/glee club members.

The Latina scoffed "Please girl you wanna try that attitude with me? You come up to my waist, you need a bar stool to get up in my face" Santana snapped back not meaning to keep up with the rhyming

"Maybe I want to be at your waist" Rachel quirked an eyebrow mischievously

"Listen here dwarf-"

"How original" Rachel rolled her eyes

"-you may have helped me with burning that piano, but we are not friends, don't think I like you"

"Ugh you're breaking my heart" She faked hurt

"I want you to stay away from Quinn" She said abruptly

"And why should I do that" Rachel sighed and leant against her locker

"You're not good for her"

"Sanny's scared you're going to hurt Quinn" Brittany tried to explain

Rachel chuckled at the supposedly fierce Latina's nickname "Well _Sanny_ doesn't need to worry, I won't let Quinn get hurt"

"You don't know her like we do"

"Actually _Sanny_ , I think I know her a lot better than you do... I'd never abandon her" Rachel finished lowly

"Oh you wanna try it" She lunged forward getting right up in Rachel's face. She was frustrated as she put the defensive on. She knew she should have been there for Quinn in sophomore year but it would have bought down her rep, Quinn got her revenge anyway telling coach about her summer surgery.

"No Lima heights Adjacent Lopez, I don't wanna try it"

"Why scared? Scared tha-"

"No, cos I'll ends you" She sneered

Santana was more than shocked to hear her own words from this mouthy little girl. The Latina went to open her mouth and retort again when they were interrupted

"Hey you! Berry!"

"Oh shit" Rachel muttered, before slowly turning to confirm her fears. Azimio Adams and a few of the other football jocks stood fuming further down the hall way.

Before they got a chance she ran for it, surrendering her bag to the floor as she darted down the hallway dodging students

Leaving a confused Latina and a mostly none the worse Brittany.

.

"Quinn, why won't you come back to glee club?" It was the tall man child's time to attempt to bring Quinn back

"Because I don't want to, what is wrong with all of you why can't you just leave me alone"

"This Rachel girl isn't good for you. I don't know if you noticed but, she keeps checking you out. I think she might be a lesbian"

Quinn chuckled "She is Finn" well what did she expect he was slow "And she doesn't hide it"

"You can't hang around with her"

She stopped in her tracks and turned to confront her "Why can't I hang around with her, because she's gay? If I remember rightly your step brothers gay"

"That's different"

"What because he's a guy and she's a girl and guys are better than girls, right?" she dumbed down the language for him

He had that dumb constipated look, plastered over his face, for a few seconds as he processed the mass of words Quinn had just thrown his way. She just watched and smirked while waiting to see what the idiot would try next

"...No, because she's trying to get into your pants" he tried to say lowly through clenched teeth

"Maybe at first but she knows I'm not interested, we're just friends and it's just some harmless flirting" she brushed it off

"But-"

"Hey" Rachel panted as she stood next to them "What do you want goliath?" She sneered to Finn

"He doesn't want anything" Quinn waved the comment off

"Okay" she eyed him suspiciously "We still going out tonight"

"Don't we always?"

"Yeah, I was ju-" Quinn knew what she was 'just' doing, she was trying to get Finn away from her

"Berry!" The word from Azimio's mouth rang down the packed hallway cutting her off; they'd almost caught up with her.

"Uh-oh gotta go" she smiled before darting off again

The pink haired girl smiled to herself as she watched the brunette disappear out of sight before the jocks had even passed her and Finn

"What's wrong with them?"

"Really Finn?" she sighed "You're their captain and you don't know about the slushies this morning"

"Huh?" he just stood there dumb struck

The ex-blonde sighed and rolled her eyes "Azimio tried to slushy Rachel this morning, she punched him and took the cup off him before he could chuck it at her"

"She punched him?"

"Then threw the slushy in his face"

"Oh"

"Yeah, maybe you need to actually communicate with your teams" she patted him on the arm before wandering off, leaving him there to his thoughts.

.

Outside Rachel was easily dodging some kids and shoving some others having some fun but really not wanting them to catch her up. She noticed how they weren't carrying cups of that icy crap. So they didn't plan on slushying her.

.

"What is going on out there?" Coach Beiste wondered as she turned in her seat in time to see Rachel avoiding as many students as she could before they were pushed out the way by the heavy football players. She just laughed lightly knowing full well the girl could handle herself

She'd seen that slushy reversal incident that morning. She didn't intervene as Rachel was able to defend herself. If it got serious then she'd step in but she had no doubt that the short punk brunette would get away just fine

"Ugh" Will sighed once his friend turned back round and was facing him "Please don't tell me you find that girls behaviour acceptable"

"She's just standing up for herself. I know there's been many times you could have helped out your students, Will, but you're afraid you'll become a target too"

That was kinda true. Surely all the teachers had the power to stop the slushy assault for a start, they had many reasons too, one being the amount of times it made some one late to their class thus disrupting the class. But were some of those teachers afraid that they'd become targets too, even if threatened with expulsion kids these days would still do whatever they wanted.

"She burned down one of my pianos"

"I know I saw it on the internet. A load of the guys on the football team were talking about it. I gotta say it sure was something" she chuckled

"Are you joking, she's a delinquent" he said in a harsh whisper

"She's got over 20,000 hits on YouTube already; I watched it at least 5 times. I'm surprised you don't want someone with such... a dramatic flair, in your club"

He shook his head "I don't need someone like her in my club. She's just trouble"

They then heard footsteps above them... which was strange as there wasn't a room above them

"Is she on the roof?"

"Sounds like it"

"Hey Berry, you coward get your ass down here!" Azimio yelled, standing in full view of many teachers on their lunch break as he made threats "I'mma beat the crap out of you"

"I'd have to be an idiot then wouldn't I?" they heard her shout from above them. It was strange how Rachel's use of language seemed to change.

"No one slushies me and gets away with it"

"Bring it" they heard her retort. She must have made some hand gesture with her words encouraging because he tried to scale the wall, only to end up flat on his back, causing her to cackle loudly.

He was quickly pulled to his feet by other letterman jacket wearing boys "I will get you" he threatened before turning away his friends in tow

Once the coast was clear she dropped back down to the ground, dusted herself off and walked away as if nothing happened.

.

Meanwhile back in the hallway by the punks locker Santana stood processing her words, what exactly did Rachel know about Quinn?

Flashback

It must have been about 4 days after Quinn had been forced to meet her new neighbour Rachel. She was having a lazy evening in her room; going threw her music library, waiting for any messages from her glee club friends. So far the summer had been kinda quiet. It probably hadn't helped that she'd broken up with Finn at the beginning of summer vacation; that would just help with them avoiding her.

Whenever Quinn seemed to be getting closer to those people she called friend, something would happen and she'd be left feeling alone again.

She was broken from her stupor when she heard inconsistent tapping on her window. Seriously, was someone actually throwing stones at her window?

She went over and pulled the curtain back cautiously. She was definitely surprised to see Rachel standing in the front yard mischievously smiling up at her. Quinn quickly hid any emotion.

She slid the window up and sat on the ledge "What do you want?" she asked dryly. She was actually please to get the attention, even if this strange girl was the one to give it to her

"Wondering if you wanted to go out?" Rachel shrugged cool-ly

"Why would I want to go out with you?"

"I was getting together with some new friends, just wondering if you wanted to join us"

"Um, no thanks"

"Why?"

"Because you scare me" She explained flatly

"I won't let you get hurt. I just thought you might need a good night out, you know have some fun"

"It's not that and you know it" She arched an eyebrow

Rachel thought for a moment "No, I don't get it help me out here"

"You guessed everything about me the other day!" she harshly whispered not wanting to alert her mother to this conversation "How can you possibly have known about those things from the past two years of my life"

"I kind of have a 6th sense" another cool shrug

"Well you scared me"

"Sorry I just read people, and you were crying to be read like an open book. I'm guessing you're pretty lonely"

"There you go again!"

She smiled at Quinn's reaction "Come out with me, let loose have some fun"

Quinn bit her lip and weighed up her options "... Where are you going?"

"Just some club I know"

"We're under age?"

"Well" she reached into her pocket and pulled out some ID's "These tell me that we're both of age" she waved them "I got one made for you, so there's no excuses"

"H-how" she faltered "How did you get a photo of me?" she was definitely creeped out

"I borrowed your real drivers licence" she said innocently as pulled it out her other pocket "Nice picture by the way" she smirked "It's not fair that you still look great in your picture" she said looking at it before looking back up to the window "and- Quinn?" The blonde wasn't in the window anymore

The front door closing bought Rachel's attention to the blonde storming towards her, before the girl snatched her driver's licence out of the Brunettes hand "You can't go round stealing peoples things"

"I said borrow" Rachel reminded her "And you're out of the house now, so what do you say?"

"Fine" she sighed "But don't leave me on my own"

"Don't worry, I won't abandon you" she meant it with the most sincerity, after meeting the blonde a few days ago and learning everything about her (or rather guessing everything about her), she wouldn't let this girl get hurt anymore

**Any thoughts?**

**Sorry for the wait**


	4. The Outsider

**Sorry it's been a while**

**Thanks for reviewing the last chapter: General Mac, stingslikeabee, Gardenia2, aquarius127, monsterfish, wagner710, DegrassiGleek54, Ad3n, Renu, MaJorReader619, Anonymous Fan Viewer, TrustInFaith, TheLostArtOfCommonSense and Cassicio.**

**Posted: 4/6/12**

The Outsider

Friday afternoon

Rachel's McKinley experience continued pretty much the same for about 3 weeks; her besting the McKinley so called elite at every turn and annoying many others at every opportunity. But now she found herself stepping into the choir room to a chorus of hate, as soon as they saw her

"Oh hell no!"

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Cover the piano"

"Now, now settle down guys" Mr Schue calmed the class "Rachel's here to audition" Yeah he'd changed his opinion of her when he saw her private performance in the auditorium a couple of days before

"No way, she burned down our Piano"

"We could really use her talent" he argued, trying to convince the group to at least calm down for a few minutes

"I'm not here to screw this up for you; I'm here merely to support a friend" she looked to Quinn, who sat on the back row in the corner, one seat separated her from Santana, she looked distant. She smiled at Rachel and Rachel smiled back.

Flashback

Last Monday, lunch time

Rachel was in Mr Schuster's Spanish room pocketing his dry erase pens and his Spanish to English dictionary; she would dispose of them properly in a minute, but first; see what else she could... acquire to simply mess up his afternoon

She was startled when she heard someone sniffling behind her. She turned quickly, about to tell the intruder to get lost when she realised it was Quinn

"Quinn what's wrong?" she asked with genuine concern, when she saw the pink haired girls red eyes and tear soaked face

"I-I, the..."

"Hear sit" Rachel gently pulled her to sit on one of the desks, the brunette sat next to her, their hands gripping the edge of the desk, between them.

"The woman who adopted Beth... she's back in town. Puck told me he talked to her, so I went to see her" she sniffled keeping her head down "She wants us to have contact with her, some crazy story about her not having contact with a daughter she gave up. But she won't let me see Beth until I clean up my act"

"What act?"

"This" she gestured to herself "I need to get back to normal" she said lowly

"But that's not the real you either" Rachel carefully placed her hand over Quinn's, getting her best friend to look up at her

"But it will mean I can see my daughter, Rachel. If I change back to... that" there were more tears shining in her eyes

"That's what you should do then"

"But-"

"It's for the best right? And it's not like we won't still be friends, right?"

"Well yeah" she smiled and nudged Rachel's shoulder with her own "But... I'm, um"

"What is it?" Rachel asked worried

She bowed her head again "I'm going to go back to glee"

"Oh" Rachel couldn't hide her disappointment now. Glee club would divide them even further "Well... they are like your family, its probably the right thing to do and-"

"Go with me" she asked suddenly, cutting Rachel off.

As Rachel met her hopeful eyes she almost found herself saying yes "I... I can't, I already told you"

Of course Quinn remembered that conversation, as they looked down on the glee club performing the hairspray number. It had hurt her then when Rachel said she wouldn't join the club, and now it was confirmed she would be returning on her own "I know, I just hoped... never mind" she sighed

"I really am sorry, but I can't"

"Yeah I get it" she mumbled lowly. She slipped her hand out from under Quinn's and started towards the door "Oh, Schue keeps his spare pens in the bottom draw on the left" she pointed to his desk

"Thanks" Rachel grinned, as she watched Quinn walk away. It was fake though, she was hurt that Quinn was leaving her

End Flashback

And yet here she was, auditioning for a club she didn't want to be a part of for a girl she really liked and, more importantly, cared for.

Only the girl she was looking at was no longer in punk/skank get up. She was back to how she was when Rachel met her; blonde hair, sun dress, cardigan. And that saddened Rachel too; sure she knew that outfit was more Quinn, but the Quinn she'd really gotten to know seemed freer to feel and be whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.

Kurt laughed humourlessly breaking Rachel and Quinn from their little eye contact moment "You've got to be joking. You already said she was merely a punk looking for attention, why should we give it to her"

Rachel looked to the teacher with an eyebrow raised. As he looked back at her wide eyed and nervous she folded her arms and waited for his explanation

"Um" he stumbled with his words "Well, well, I- That's not important" he turned back to the glee club "We should give Rachel a chance, if she wants to audition we should let her"

"She should be on her knees, begging for us to just let her audition" Santana said with her usual attitude from her back row seat

"Baby I'd get on my knees but you'd be the one begging" Rachel smirked. She loved the way she could get to Santana like that. She felt the satisfaction as Santana shuffled uncomfortably in her seat, avoided eye contact with the short brunette, and folded her arms across her chest as if that would distance herself from Rachel and _those_ comments.

Dismissing the comment, Mercedes was next to attack "What the heck made you change your mind Mr. Schue I still see a hot head punk"

Flashback

Last Wednesday, afternoon

The curly haired Spanish teacher was on his way through the building to the exit. Freedom was in his sights as his ears stopped him. He looked back over his shoulder, the noise, a piano and a voice; it was coming from the auditorium.

At first he wondered if it was just some kids messing around, maybe even damaging school property but as he concentrated his ears and focused on the sound he was sure he recognised the song.

He jogged back towards the auditorium, not wanting the person to stop and disappear before he got there. As he got closer and heard more clearly he got more hopeful, this joyful happy strong and talented voice could be a great addition to the New Directions.

He finally reached the doors and the voice was still on the other side. He pushed the door open and silently slipped inside. As soon as his eyes fell on the girl with the pink streak in her hair, in blue ripped jeans and that same scruffy black leather jacket; his smile faltered.

Rachel stood at the piano, tapping away excitedly, playing out the tune as she sang. He saw the smile on her face, she was enjoying herself, she was even smirking and confident with the lyrics, as if she wasn't just singing but performing

_... Give me and evening, or give me a night  
>I'll show you the time of your life<br>I'll walk you home safe, after dark.  
>I'll give you my jacket I'll give you my heart<br>But she won't come dancing tonight, she'd having the time of her life_

_Doing all I can do, just to be close to you  
>every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.<br>Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the ass  
>every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat.<em>

_I do love, she does heartbreak  
>I did love, till she broke my heart<br>I do love, she does heartbreak  
>I did love, till she broke my heart<br>I do love, she does heartbreak  
>I did love, till she broke my heart<br>I do love, she does heartbreak  
>I did love, till she broke my heart... <em>

She faded away deciding she'd sung enough for now. The teacher noticed how she suddenly looked distant as she stared across the top of the piano

Mr Schue found himself clapping, applauding the short performance he'd just witnessed. It was nothing special but there was something about the way she sung, the ways she felt and performed the words, it impressed him.

Her head snapped away from the piano and out to the seat where she spotted the Spanish teacher who she knew was not her biggest fan

"That's was really something Rachel" was that a compliment, it was hard to tell

"So you gonna giving me detention again for going near one of your pianos again" she said defensively as she folded her arms

He sighed as he wandered down the stairs getting closer to the stage "Well I could but you probably wouldn't show up to that detention either" he had been quick to give her detention as a minimal punishment for burning down the purple piano but she never went.

He only gave her the minimal punishment in the first place because he had a feeling sue Sylvester was behind the pianos destruction; considering what she did to one of the other pianos

"No I probably wouldn't show to that, but what are you gonna do about it" she tilted her head slightly "chuck me out of school; but that's what I want right, so I'd be winning and we can't have that, can we"

"No you're right. How about you join the glee club, and I'll... 'Drop the charges'"

"Nice try, but I honestly don't care what happens to me" she turned to leave

"You're close with Quinn right" If people knew what he had done to Finn, pretending to find those drugs in his locker; they wouldn't put anything past him.

She froze in her tracks at the mention of her best friend "What about her?" she asked as she glanced back over her shoulder

"Well, she's been distant since returning to the glee club; she could use your friendship, and support"

She turned swiftly marching towards the edge of the stage so she was towering over him. She wouldn't let him make her feel small "So blackmail is it. Make me feel bad for her, so I'll join your little club"

"I just meant maybe you could help. Quinn's been through a lot and could use more friendly support"

"You don't need to tell me that Quinn has been through a lot, and quite frankly I don't like talking about her like this. Besides a already told her, twice I wouldn't be joining the club"

He sighed heavily and ran a hand through is curly hair "We meet Tuesdays and Fridays after school" she didn't say anything "Just think about it" he said before leaving the way he came

It only took her two days to make a decision

End Flashback

"It doesn't matter; the point is we shouldn't judge each other" the teacher (if you could call him that) told the group (maybe he should listen to his own comments more often)

"Don't worry. Like she can even sing" Kurt muttered harshly to the other diva sat next to him

"Shut it; _Boy_oncé" she snapped back, taking a lunging step forward making Kurt shriek and try to climb on top of Mercedes. Yeah right, like she was going to help him

"Rachel!" Mr Schue snapped too then sighed "Just sing" he then saw the fiery glare she shot him "Please" he added

"Sure thing" she turned her back to him and winked at Quinn who was smiling to herself at the way Rachel, shortest person in the room, had reduced their angry teacher to almost a puddle, in under a second

Rachel approached the grand central piano. She pushed the piano stool out of the way, pushed the sleeves up on her leather jacket, which didn't really do anything, because they just slipped back down. She tucked the loose strands of her hair behind her ears as she stood in front of the keys.

Her hands hovered over the keys, preparing herself. She then nodded to the band in the corner, and together they started playing the opening of a song that Quinn immediately recognised.

_Feeling like a loser  
>Feeling like a bum<br>Sitting on the outside  
>observing the fun<em>

She alternated between watching her hands on the keys and chancing glances at the group around her. She knew if she did (for whatever unlikely reason) feel nervous she could look to the smiling girl with the short blonde hair to give her confidence

_Don't get on my bad side  
>I can work a gun<br>Hop into the backseat baby  
>I'll show you some fun<em>

_These people are weird in here  
>And they're giving me the fear<br>Just because you know my name  
>Don't mean you know my game<em>

_I look myself in the face  
>And whisper "I'm in the wrong place"<br>Is there more to lose than gain  
>If I go on my own again? (on my own again)<em>

As Quinn knew the song she sang the background lines, surprising people that she'd come to life again with Rachel's presence

_Inside the outsider (on my own again),  
>Inside the outsider (on my own again),<br>Inside the outsider (on my own again),  
>Inside...<em>

She abandoned the piano leaving the music playing to the rest of the band. She took centre stage... or rather centre of the room, as she continued to sing. She didn't dance, she just stood there, relying on just her voice to carry her through this audition. She was confident

_People are connecting_  
><em>Don't know what to say<em>  
><em>I'm good at protecting<em>  
><em>What they want to take<em>

_Spilt the milk at breakfast_  
><em>Hit me double hard<em>  
><em>And I grinned at you softly<em>  
><em>Because I'm a fucking wild card<em>

Mr Schue winced at the swear word but the others in the room's eyes all lit up in surprise at the wild screech Rachel used when singing the previous last two words.

Rachel just smirked to herself, yeah she had their full attention

_These people are weird in here_  
><em>And they're giving me the fear<em>  
><em>Just because you know my name<em>  
><em>Doesn't mean you know my game<em>

_I look myself in the face_  
><em>And whisper "I'm in the wrong place"<em>  
><em>Is there more to lose than gain<em>  
><em>If I go on my own again?<em>

She left the song there, not feeling the need to sing to the end. She was more than satisfied with the looks of shock directed her way; were they really that surprised that someone had the ability to actually sing.

Rachel also loved the way Mercedes and Kurt looked a little bit threatened

"So I'll see you Tuesday?" she asked. She took their silence as a yes, so she headed to the door.

She knew it was a bad idea, joining this glee club, but she wanted to, simply for Quinn. And if she happened to sort this dysfunctional club out on the way; that could only benefit her- I mean Quinn, anyway, right?

She suddenly stopped remembering the item that was in her pocket. She'd picked it up from where she'd hidden it on the way to the choir room

"Schue, heads up" she called, he looked to her quickly and she tossed him his Spanish to English pocket dictionary she'd... borrowed earlier in the week.

He caught it and furrowed his brow as soon as he saw what exactly it was. He looked up at the door to question and more than likely scold her for having his possessions but the rebel was already gone.

**What do you think? :/**

**The first song was **_**Heartbeat**_**, by **_**Scouting for girls**_** and the second song was **_**The Outsider**_**, by **_**Marina and the Diamonds**_**.**

**Sorry about the grammatical errors, I'm sure there are still tonnes even though I did check :/**


	5. Forgotten

**AN: sorry if this is crap, I may have been drinking... again, but there we go  
>Oh yeah, changed the rating to M just to cover for the occasional swearing.<strong>

**Posted: 9/6/12**

Forgotten

As soon as Rachel was out of the room and the effect of her performance had faded away Santana was first to speak "Just tell me Q, cos I'm confused, how are you friends with _that_?" she gestured in the direction of the empty doorway

"She's moved in next door to me, and we met over the summer"

Santana scoffed "No one is friends with the people they live next too"

"Well that aside, Rachel will not be coming back Tuesday and as you know her so well you can let her know" Kurt felt he should inform Quinn of that.

"I liked her performance, it was moody and low and... her" well the 'her' Quinn knew

"She's worthless and trouble, we don't need anyone like that in our club"

"No she's not" Quinn stood up abruptly and walked down the risers to the front of the room where Rachel had just been standing as she sung "you don't know about anything about her, she's a lot more that what you see. She showed me friendship and comfort, when none of you did"

"We're your friends" Mercedes reminded her

"You didn't talk to me all summer, not one of you did" Most of the bowed their heads guiltily; they knew it was true "and why? Because I broke up with Finn? You couldn't not invite him to all your little get-togethers" her tone was patronising "so you didn't invite me instead"

"What 'get-togethers'?" Santana asked. She wanted to try anything to get rid of the guilt she was feeling right now

"Don't play dumb Santana, despite the bitchy facade you put on, you're just as much of a crowd follower as everyone else" she then focused her attention on the entirety of the glee club "And you're all so dumb, you didn't think when you plastered all those photos over facebook that I wouldn't see. You all hung out together, I never got a single text; so excuse me if I say fuck off"

"Its not like that Quinn, we didn't think you'd want to be there" the moronic man child tried

"Just because I didn't want to be with you Finn didn't mean I didn't want to be round my supposed friends, we're always saying how we're like a family"

"We are a family Quinn" Mercedes said from the front row, her arms folded protectively across her. This Quinn was making them nervous.

"No we're not; this club isn't a family, its a joke. You two" she pointed at Mercedes and Kurt "You just sit there, gossip and bitch and then sing and take centre stage when its needed. Because of you half this club never get a chance; did you think of Tina, Mike, Sam and Blaine?" she asked them, she saw some sort of confusion on their faces as if they didn't recognise some of the names "They've never had a chance to sing a single song. Finn is a poor excuse when we finally do a song that requires a male lead, Puck has only sung when its not for competition, Artie only gets to when you say so Mercedes because you think his voice compliments yours, which it does " she said as an afterthought glancing at the boy in the wheel chair who smiled faintly because he even got a mention "Santana and Brittany often are you backup singers and I got a solo that one time because you were off auditioning for whatever" she stopped for a second, put on a fake expression as if she was thinking and tapped a finger to the side of her head "ever get a call back did you?" and from the look now on Mercedes face, that must of hurt. Kurt may have smirked even at his supposed best friends unfortunate reminder of failure there "You're not much better Kurt; you're lively and brave personality was refreshing sophomore year, but now its stale. We get it, you're here, its not the Kurt show, so get over yourself"

"Quinn, I don't think that's fair" _finally_ he steps in

She quickly turned round and snapped at him "Oh please, Mr Schue, don't even go there because I've got a whole lot of things to say to you"

"Quinn, I don't get it" Mercedes got the blonde attention back again. Mr Schue was relieved to not have the scary girl focused on him any longer "We were there for you with the whole baby drama, and now you repay us, by tearing us down" She looked hurt, genuinely hurt, Quinn hadn't seen her like this since... actually she'd never seen her like this, Mercedes always got what she wanted when it came to glee club, so they'd never seen her this hurt. (When she didn't get that part or even a call back for the audition, she must have hid her hurt at home)

"But that's just how this club works, tearing each other down to make ourselves feel better" she shook her head "You know what; at first I really was upset that you didn't bother asking me; but fuck you, all of you; Rachel was there for me then, and I'm here for her now. This club needs her; she's in" And with that she grabbed her bag from the seat she'd been sitting in and left the room abruptly.

"Well _I_ liked the song" Puck said breaking the silence

"I liked her voice; it was really moody, like Quinn said" Blaine agreed

"She was _so _hot when she screamed 'wild card'" Brittany added "It was... wild" she concluded all by herself. Santana didn't like the sound of that

"I think we should give her a shot" Sam joined in.

The rest of the room, minus the teacher who was just worried about Quinn attacking him verbally, stared at the four like they were crazy.

...

Meanwhile: outside the front of the school building

"You're still here?" Quinn was surprised to find Rachel still on school grounds

But there she was sitting on the steps outside the main door, smoking a cigarette as she looked out across the car park. "I'm still your ride home right?" they might not be hanging around every minute of every day recently because of Quinn needing to change but they still saw each other often

"If you don't mind" Quinn said cautiously

"Why would I mind?" she smiled "come on" she flicked her cigarette away and stood up, heading towards her car. "So what did they say?" Rachel asked as they got into her Lexus and put their seatbelts on.

"The glee club?" Quinn asked, looking to the driver as the brunette who just glanced at Quinn and nodded before starting the car "I... I may have said a few things... used _loud _words"

"Oh yeah" Rachel raised an eyebrow, while a smile crept onto her lips "what did you say?" she asked as she pulled out of the parking space and headed home

"Well..."

...

They ended up back at Rachel's. They were both laying on Rachel's bed, both on their backs staring at the ceiling

"I can't believe you actually decided to join glee club" Quinn said with a light chuckle

"I can't believe what you said to all of them" Rachel said matching the blondes tone

Quinn just shrugged "They needed to hear it, especially Mercedes and Kurt, they just..." she trailed off with a frustrated sigh

"They're divas. And I guess they were power hungry. They were probably the 'losers' before the club and now its all they have, and as there are cheerleaders and jocks in the club and they're the co-captains they feel they have power" Rachel thought out loud

"Is that what you were like?" Quinn turned her head to look at the brunette

Rachel turned her head to look back at Quinn "Maybe" she smirked

"I wish I'd known you back then, before whatever changed you"

Rachel swallowed thickly. She didn't mind admitting something had changed her, well not with Quinn at least, but the actual... events, well that'd wait, maybe forever.

"No you wouldn't" Rachel let her head roll back so she was staring at the white ceiling again "she was a loser, a diva... everything you see in _those two_ who 'lead' your club"

Quinn just nodded subtly and looked back up to the ceiling too. She wouldn't push her best friend to talk about things she didn't want to. She knew from a few bar fights (most of the time when defending Quinn from some asshole who tried to get too close to her, when they went out drinking) that Rachel had a short temper.

"Do you want to go out, get drunk?" Rachel sighed into the sudden silence that had washed over her room

"Sorry, trying to be good; stay sober, you know?" Quinn reminded her

"Oh right" Rachel sighed again, remembering her best friend was changing back. She turned onto her side reaching down under her bed and pulled out a bottle with a clear liquid in it. She rolled back over and rested on her side, facing Quinn. She propped herself onto "How about we just have a couple drinks here?"

"Rachel" she warned

"It's okay, just a couple, calm you after your outburst" she laughed, but when she still saw the cautious worried expression on the other girls face her laughter faded "You're fine with me remember" she still smiled though

"I don't know if I trust you, Rachel Berry"

"We get drunk together all time"

"Yeah" she rolled over onto her front, propped herself up onto her elbows and looked up at Rachel "I didn't trust you then either"

"Fine" Rachel rolled her eyes "I get it now, you want to be responsible and we get in trouble or do _stupid_ things when we drink so I get it" she placed the bottled down on her bed side table, maybe she could use it later. "So when are you going to get to see your daughter?" Rachel asked gently when she turned back to Quinn

"Puck and I are going to babysit Saturday morning"

"Are you looking forward to it?"

"Yeah, but I'm scared too" Quinn admitted lowly

"Why?" Rachel was genuinely concerned as Quinn looked to her hands, avoiding eye contact

"I'm... I'm scared it's too late, I mean it has to be right, I've been thinking about her since the moment I let her go but she doesn't even know who I am and I'm scared we'll never have that sort of bond... she has a mom and that's not me"

"What about a dad? How will Puck feel?"

"The woman who adopted Beth, doesn't have a husband or boyfriend, so... I'm scared Puck will fill that dad void and I'll be... forgotten"

Rachel was hesitant but she eventually found the courage to hook a finger under Quinn's chin and gently lift her head to make Quinn look at her. The tears threatening to spill from the blondes mesmerising hazel eyes, nearly broke Rachel's heart "No one could forget you Quinn"

Quinn couldn't help the smile, she chuckled as she sniffed and wiped the tears from under her eyes. She then shyly shoved Rachel in the shoulder, laughing even harder when Rachel's eyes widened when she nearly fell off the bed from the simple shove.

Rachel meant it though, she'd never forget about Quinn, not the way her parents did when they chucked her out, and not the way her supposed friends from the glee club had over the summer. She was worried what having Beth back in her life would do to Quinn, and how it might affect her and Quinn's friendship. She really had no clue what she was in for.

But right now she'd just enjoy hearing Quinn laugh.

**Sorry its only short**

**I did check spelling and stuff but not really with it right now :/**


	6. Saturday

**AN: So I'm updating all my in-progress stories tonight for my fanficaversary :S enjoy. Also sorry for lack of updates, I started work experience (unpaid work) so I've had less time to write.**

**Posted: 24/6/12**

Saturday

It was the next day, _the_ Saturday when Rachel was woken by her cell phone ringing. She was jolted awake by the penetrating old time ring tone. The cell was still new; she noted she'd need to change her ring tone.

She mumbled lowly as she reached out to find her phone on the bed side table, next to a half empty bottle of vodka "I'm going to kill-" she cut herself off, when she saw the name flashing across the screen. She clicked receive and bought the phone to her ear

"Quinn?" she rubbed her face with her other hand to try and wake herself up

"_Hi, Rachel, I'm sorry to ask but... well we're leaving Beth in a minute"_ her voice was a little shaky and broken_ "could you pick me up. Pucks supposed to take me home but I don't think I can-"_

"Yeah sure" Rachel cut her off, realising Quinn was having trouble keeping her tone calm "I'll be there in a minute"

"_Are you really sure, I don't want to-"_

"No, it's fine, I'll be there soon. Just tell me the address" she sat up, as she looked down at herself she realised she'd fallen asleep in her clothes... again

"_Okay"_ Quinn sounded more relaxed now. She gave Rachel the address to Shelby's house and then disconnected the call.

The brunette checked the time on her phone and her eyes widened when the numbers 12.07 stared back at her "Whoa... I gotta stop drinking in my own company" she muttered. She looked at her clothes again and shrugged, deciding to just brush her teeth first to get the sandpaper texture out of her mouth and run a brush through her hair in a hopeless attempt to tame it... that would do

She grabbed her jacket, sunglasses and car keys on the way out of the door. Luckily she recognised the address, it wasn't far.

...

As she pulled up outside the house she cautiously took her sunglasses off, straining her eyes as they adjusted to the harsh midday sun. She didn't want Quinn knowing what she did after the blonde left the night before. She'd just get another lecture from Quinn that she didn't want to hear.

Rachel then looked up at the still house. She sighed debating whether or not to just beep the horn on the car but then thought of the child in the house... what if she was napping. She sighed again deciding it would just be quicker to just go and knock on the door.

She routinely got out of the car shut the door and wandered up the path to the one story house. She knocked on the door, groaning a little as her head thumped along each time her knuckles met the surface of the door.

As the front door opened Rachel's eyes fell directly on the person in front of her

"Hey" the blonde girl smiled with some relief that her rescuer was finally here

"You ready to go?" she asked with a forced smile. She was happy to see Quinn; she was just regretting the amount she drank last night.

"Yeah, let me just grab my coat" she said before quickly disappearing away from the door

Out of the corner of her eye she saw another woman approach the door; she casually glanced in her direction and before her eyes could return to the spot where Quinn had just vanished from her eyes quickly landed back on Beth's adopted mother

"Oh It's you" she was surprised but kept her voice calm

"Hi Rachel" the woman replied softly. She had the little blonde girl in her arms but Rachel's line of sight went straight past Beth to the woman "I didn't know you were in Lima"

"I didn't know you were here either"

"How have you been?"

"Fine" she muttered avoiding eye contact "You?"

"Busy" her reply was in a more polite tone but just as short "I don't believe you've met Beth"

"No" what was taking Quinn so long! "Where was she when you came down to... um" she trailed off, knowing she didn't need to finish the sentence as Shelby would remember

"Shortly after I heard, I arranged for my parents to look after her. I'm so sorry about what happened"

"Don't be" she said sadly "It wasn't your fault"

"It was no one's fault" their last encounter had been brief even though it had been the first time they ever met

"That's not entirely true though is it?"

Shelby went to open her mouth but Rachel was saved as Quinn, in her coat, returned "Sorry, we can go now-" she stopped realising she'd walked into some sort of tension "Is something wrong?" she looked back at Shelby then back to Rachel getting no answer as the two held eye contact. She furrowed her brow before looking back at each of them again "okay" she said slowly, wondering if she was going crazy

"Maybe we could sit down, properly catch up some time" Shelby suggested to Rachel

"I don't think so" Rachel shook her head as she backed away from the door. "Are you coming, Quinn?"

"Rachel-"

"I'm really not in the mood for this right now" she turned and swiftly walked back down the path, ignoring Shelby.

"Um" Quinn faltered "Bye Beth" she said awkwardly to the child. She wanted more contact in her goodbye but felt maybe it wasn't right yet "Puck and I, we can do this again right?"

"Sure, how about both of you come over next Saturday, same time?"

"Okay, see you then" she faltered again in her steps before reluctantly leaving to catch up with Rachel.

The Brunette was already in the car when she climbed into the front passenger seat next to her.

"What was that all about?" the blonde asked cautiously, as she pulled her seat belt across her and clipped it in place.

"Nothing" Rachel sighed, gripping the steering wheel tightly, closing her eyes and resting her head back on the head rest

"That wasn't nothing" Quinn muttered "Am I crazy or do you and Shelby look kinda... similar"

"Well we would" Rachel sighed again, opening her eyes and turning to look at Quinn "She's my birth mom"

"Oh... Wow" Quinn went wide eyed "I'm sorry" she then muttered

"Why are you sorry?"

"You came here to pick me up, so you saw her and, things don't seem great between you two..." she left the sentence to conclude itself

"That's was only the second time we met. Both my dads didn't want her to have contact, they wanted for them to be my parents. I guess so if I ever got upset with them I never had another option to run to"

"So why did you meet her before today?" Rachel was still a mystery to her; she couldn't help but be curious

"With the divorce, my dad wanted her to sign some papers, in case something happens to him she becomes my guardian" she explained "Its kinda pointless seeing as I'll be 18 in December; but he just wanted to be sure everything was covered" she muttered the last part

"But... What about your other dad, with your siblings. Why wouldn't he just take you, if the worst happened?"

Rachel bowed her head "that's not really an option anymore"

Sensing she wasn't going to get much more out of Rachel, Quinn tried to think up something to change the subject. But what Rachel had said and what just happened, with Shelby left it difficult to find another topic as she just watched the quiet brunette sat next to her. Then she noticed something

"You were wearing those clothes yesterday" Quinn noted

"So" Rachel sighed making lazy eye contact with her again.

"You've been drinking alone again. When I left, how much did you drink?"

"I dunno" she shrugged, trying to find the ignition with her key "Half?" it was a question to herself; as she couldn't be entirely sure

"Rachel!"

"Ahh what's with the yelling" she creased her forehead but it didn't help with the pain

"Swap seat's, I'm driving"

"Like hell are you driving my car"

"You're drunk and I always drive your car when you're drunk" she said taking her seat belt off

"I'm not drunk" she protested "I _was_ drunk, there's a difference"

Quinn turned in her seat "Move" she instructed harshly

"What are you doing?"

"I'm driving, give me the keys and move"

"No" Rachel said sternly, keeping herself glued to the driver's seat

Quinn tried shoving her "Move now, you're not driving with me in the car"

"I'm not drunk, I would _never _drunk drive" she said adamantly

"Move" Quinn said again as she tried climbing onto the driver's seat from the passenger seat with Rachel still there

One false movement later and lucky Rachel ended up with Quinn straddling her lap. The brunette couldn't help but smirk up at the blonde now trapped between her and the steering wheel.

The brunette laughed lightly as Quinn sighed and struggled, but her foot was stuck between the door and the seat. She sighed before turning her head to the stubborn punk

Rachel couldn't help but let her tongue dart out to wet her lips, and it really didn't help that she had a heavily breathing Quinn above her, and it really, really didn't help the way those hazel eyes were locked onto hers. She was sure, so very sure that Quinn was moving closer to her as she stretched up, their lips were definitely getting closer it wasn't in her mind-

The beeping of the car horn startled them; Quinn seemed to shuffle forward, taking her backside off the steering wheel which was the culprit for destroying their moment. If there even was a moment, there was for Rachel

"Oh my head" she groaned, grabbing her head with her hands as if it would sooth the pain. She recovered quickly as Quinn started fidgeting

"Ugh, can you please help me"

"Why would I do that, I've got you right where I want you" she smirked

Quinn smirked back as she reached behind her and beeped the horn again, making the noise ring in Rachel's hung over ears in turn making her groan

"Help me" she demanded with an evil look in her eyes

"Fine" Rachel grumbled, reaching forward in her chair

"What are you doing?" Quinn asked quickly, leaning away from Rachel

"Trying to reach the..." she trailed off as she kept leaning forward her hand, somewhat reluctantly, passing Quinn's thigh and down to under the seat to find the lever

The blonde tensed as Rachel's face pressed into her shoulder as she leaned. Finally, after yet another tense moment she pulled the lever... that she may have held for a few seconds to savour the contact with Quinn... yeah maybe she was being a little creepy. As she pulled the lever she pushed her feet against the floor and the seat shot back

"Finally" Quinn moaned as she opened the door and easily slid out of the car "If you're not going to let me drive I'll walk" she slammed the door, nearly catching Rachel in it.

After yelping out, thinking her foot was going to get chopped off, Rachel opened the door and climbed out too. "You can drive!" she conceded making Quinn stop a few feet from the car "though I don't get why you didn't just walk round the car, rather than get on my lap"

"You were supposed to move!" Quinn turned round swiftly, the blondes cheeks were slightly flushed in embarrassment, but Rachel held back yet another smirk in fear of the death glare that was being sent her way

"I'm sorry. You can drive" she said again, holding her keys out in a peace offering

Quinn turned around trying to hide her triumphant smile; happy she was getting her way. She swiped the keys on her way back to the car

.

"So how did everything go with Beth?" Rachel thought it was best to ask. She wasn't entirely sure why she had to pick Quinn up "What happened to Puck, I thought he was taking you home too?"

"Oh that" Quinn bit her lip guiltily "Sorry for waking you, I just couldn't handle another minute round him-"

"What did he do?" Rachel jumped in, ready to fight any battle for Quinn

"It wasn't him really, or his fault. Just that Beth took to him better"

"Hasn't he seen her before though?"

"Yeah, doesn't mean it hurt any less when she cried in my arms but settled in his"

"It will take time Quinn"

"I guess" she mumbled sadly

"Just give it time, it will get better"

"If you say so"

"It will Quinn, she's only young she needs time to adjust to new things. Children need consistency, after a couple of Saturdays she'll... know you and be happy to see you" she wasn't sure if her words were helping or just upsetting her blonde friend even further

When Quinn just nodded and said nothing more Rachel decided it was best to just keep quiet.

"Why do you tease Santana like that" Quinn said suddenly, breaking the silence in the car "I mean I know you do to me and at first you made me really uncomfortable but now, I guess I'm just used to it, and we're friends I know you're only messing around, right?"

"Sure" Rachel answered emotionless as she gazed out the window at the passing houses, while her elbow resting against the door and her hand holding her head up.

"Well why do you do it to Santana?"

"I dunno" Rachel shrugged. She then thought about it at a moment and chuckled taking her head off her hand and looking at the driver "I guess, I like watching her squirm. It's not like I'm telling her to come out, I'm just teasing. It only makes me look gay for her, so I'm not harming her, just teasing" she said to justify herself "If I really wanted to hurt her, I'd flirt with Brittany"

"She'd kill you" Quinn laughed, which made Rachel relax, knowing the blonde wasn't upset with her for the way she treated her or her other friend

"I know, but I think Brittany might be more fun... she might actually let me try something"

"Brittany just likes the attention that Santana won't give her" Now she sounded more serious

"What do you mean?" Rachel furrowed her brow

"I can just tell, I've known them years. Santana wants Brittany, she just can't handle what everyone else will say or if Brittany got hurt... so she ends up hurting her instead by denying everything" she finished her sentence as she pulled into the Berry's driveway

"Oh" Something hit Rachel, maybe it was some sort of guilt for harassing the Latina, but she wasn't sure "I suppose I can understand but... what if I could help"

Quinn sighed "Just... don't do anything stupid"

'_I can't promise I won't ever do something stupid but...'_ "I promise I won't be stupid enough to hurt Santana, okay?"

"You better not" Quinn threatened lightly "We may be distant but she's still one of my best friends"

"Maybe you two should talk more, then" Rachel suggested

"Maybe" Quinn muttered

"Maybe you could talk to her about this; it would probably be taken better you trying to talk to her than me. I mean how would you feel in her situation?"

"I really don't know" Quinn said seriously with a hint of real worry in her voice "But it doesn't matter, I don't have to worry about that, I like boys"

"Are you sure about that?" Rachel asked with a hint of mischief used to hide her hopefulness

"Quite sure" she chuckled as she shut the car door behind her

"Damn"

**Let me know what you think...**

**I know it seems I skipped over a lot of issues, but they will all come up again over the future chapters**


	7. Stop

**AN: this is for ****Gardenia2**** as they asked for the update :) Sorry it took me so long to update**

**Anyway sorry its short but, enjoy... I think**

**Posted: 30/7/12**

Stop

Rachel watched Quinn walk over to her house, the blonde skipped up the steps and opened her front door. She stopped to wave at Rachel, as if she knew the brunette punk would be watching her. Rachel just sighed and as soon as the tease was in her house she slid out of the car herself and dragged herself into her own home.

As soon as Quinn shut the door she heard laughter; a man's laughter, but more amazingly her mother's laughter. Quinn wasn't sure when she'd last heard her mom laughing like that; a real laugh.

She ventured out onto the back patio where she found Mr Berry, or Leroy, as he insisted on being called sitting at the patio table with Judy, drinking... lemonade? Quinn subtly eyed the glasses on the table _No vodka with that mom?_ As soon as that thought was in Quinn's head she scolded herself. She had to give her mom some credit, in the past few months she was definitely drinking less

"Quinn" the tall man with the dark skin said joyfully as he saw her appear behind Judy who sat opposite him "how are you today?"

"Hi Mr Be- sorry, Leroy. I'm fine, how are you?"

"Good thanks, your mom and I were just having a chat and then we were going to go for lunch, will you join us?"

"Um, no thanks, I've got a load of homework to get done" she excused, politely "but you two have fun"

"Quinnie, how was your morning with..." Judy trailed off.

After a pause Leroy stood up "I'm just going to go next door first, see if Rachel's got her lazy ass out of bed" he chuckled. Leroy knew the situation but he knew it wasn't his business and he didn't want to feel like an intruder so he'd give Judy and Quinn a minute.

"Oh she's up" Quinn called as he stepped into the house "She gave me a ride home"

"Thanks for making her useful Quinn" he called back as he kept on his way out of the Fabray house

"Sweetie" Judy said softly, standing up and taking the glasses off the table and through into the kitchen "I thought Puck was bringing you home"

"He was" she shook her head "I just needed a break from all that"

"Oh sweetie" Judy placed the glasses on the kitchen side so she could hug her daughter. Quinn seems to freeze before she was able to relax again. She still wasn't used to this version of her mom "I can cancel lunch and we can talk if you want" She asked as she pulled away

"No, its okay. You have some fun, we can talk alter if that's okay"

"Of course Quinnie, I want to hear all about it" Quinn smiled softly as she could hear and see that that was the truth, what her mom really wanted

"Okay, good" As Judy resumed clearing up the few items from the patio table, Quinn noticed the bounce in her mother's step. For a moment she had a crazy thought. Quinn cautiously approached her mother to ask "Mom, you know he's gay right?"

Judy just chuckled as she took the glasses off the side and placed them into the dishwasher "What do you mean by that, Quinn?"

"As in he's not interested in you, like that" Quinn stated abruptly, not meaning it to sound so... well; mean "Like, you're a woman and he likes men"

"Oh Quinnie" Judy chuckled "I know that. Leroy and I are becoming good friends. Actually I think he's the best and most genuine friend I've had in since I was in High school"

"Okay, but as long as you don't start thinking he's flirting with you, or anything"

"No he's just being incredibly nice. Really, you must think I'm stupid"

"No, I just don't want you getting hurt by reading the wrong signals"

"No, sweetie. I'm his friend... what do they call it? his fag hag?"

Quinn's eyes went wide "Mom, you can't say stuff like that!"

"What?" she said innocently "I heard in on Will and Grace"

"Yeah, doesn't mean you should say it"

"Oh please you kids are always getting the latest catch phrases from TV shows"

Despite the discussion subject Quinn just smiled, it was great to see her mom like this, without the aid of the various bottles that sat, undisturbed, in the antique liquor cabinet

...

Rachel was jolted from her half sleep from where she'd collapsed on the sofa, when the front door slammed shut and she heard her dad laugh. She evilly glared at him over the back of the sofa, knowing he did it deliberately

"So what's this I hear about you dragging your ass out of bed to pick Quinn up? Yet you wouldn't get up to help me with the chores" he asked as he stood behind the sofa and peered down at her with a mischievously raised eyebrow

She groaned as she dropped her head back down onto the sofa cushion "Chores are boring and she's my friend" she grumbled

"Oh yeah? How are things going with that 'friendship'" he chuckled again. He could read Rachel like a book, then again, many people could if they were trying.

She sat up and looked up at her dad so she could grumble clearly "She likes to tease me, even if she doesn't know she's doing it and she likes boys" she then looked him up and down "Why are you all dressed up?"

"I'm taking Judy out for lunch. I'd invite you but Quinn already turned us down and have you see the state of you" he chuckled again as he walked over to the closet next to the bottom of the stairs and took a light jacket out.

"Dad you're gay" She said bluntly

He chuckled yet again, he was just in a good mood and he loved the banter with his daughter "Actually, before I met your father I was bi but-"

"Please don't tell me you're actually considering dating Quinn's mom" she cringed "That's disgusting, that would make Quinn and I like... sisters" her eyes widened

"Don't be silly honey, Judy Fabray is a lovely woman, and wonderful new friend, but nothing more" he assured her, before her eyes could fall out of her head

"Then why did you feel the need to inform me you were once bi" she asked, still sat on the sofa, she bought her boot clad feet up to rest on the coffee table.

He walked round the sofa and pushed her feet off the table "I like teasing you" he said softly before kissing her on the head and starting back towards the door

"Dad" she said softly making him stop "why did you pick me?"

"What do you mean Sweetie?" He furrowed his brow as he slipped his jacket on

"You don't see Adam or Becca anymore, because you chose me... why?" it wasn't until she said that last word that she looked at him with regretful watery eyes

"Sweetie" he sighed broken by how broken she was "I love you-"

"But they're your kids too" her voice became high pitched as she tried to hold back her tears " and my siblings. I'm the one who messed up, so why pick me?"

"You're daddy, he just..." he sighed, he pulled her up off the sofa and into his arms "It was all an accident Rachel, you can't blame yourself for what happened. And I couldn't understand how he could turn on you like that Rachel. You did nothing wrong"

"But I did dad" she whispered shakily as tears rolled down her cheeks "She'd still be here-"

"Rachel it wasn't your fault, and that man you called daddy had no right to treat you like that Rachel. And yes I love Adam and Becca dearly, but not enough to reject one of my other children" he squeezed her tightly and kissed the top of her head "And we're still fighting the courts for my rights, it's not over yet Rachel. But know I'm not going to ever turn my back on you"

"I love you dad" she whimpered

"I love you too" he kissed the top of her head "I'll cancel lunch"

She escaped his strong arms, sniffing and wiping her eyes on her sleeves "no you go" Judy was good for him, made him smile again; a true friendship.

"No Rachel, not if you're like this again"

"I'll be fine" she sniffed wiping again furiously at her eyes "Please go, have fun"

"Please don't drink" he asked softly

"I won't, I promise" she really did this time, she was too tired and still hung over "I'll just sleep"

"We'll talk later" he said as he slowly and hesitantly backed his way to the door. Rachel rarely opened up but he knew even if he stayed and tried to get her to talk more now, she just wouldn't. Giving her time was an option, so he decided to take it

"Okay, take care" she smiled, but it was fake.

"Are you sure?" he asked again

"Just go" she shoved him out the door herself, trying to be her usual bossy and playful self. Once he was gone she leant against the door, stared at the ceiling and exhaled long and slow

...

Tuesday morning started good for Mr Schuester, he'd woken up next to the woman he loved and they'd gone through their tedious- I mean, blissful, happy families morning routine together.

It wasn't until he and Emma drove into the school parking lot did his mood falter, and he was met with a reminder that Rachel Berry would be joining Glee club that afternoon

He'd managed to forget her verbal reminder of 'see ya tomorrow in glee Mr S' in Spanish the day before, but a small act of vandalism he saw as soon as he pulled into the school parking lot, reminded him of the _fun_ afternoon he was going to have

...

As soon as he and Emma walked into the staff room and sat at one of the tables with Coach Beiste, she asked an inevitable question "What's with the sour face?"

"That girl" he seemed to growl

"What girl?" the football coach asked, as she sipped her morning coffee

"I think he's referring to the new addition to the senior class; Rachel Berry" Miss Pillsbury said nervously from the other side of the table

"Oh what did she do now?" The coach asked as she leant back in her chair, in preparation to be entertained. She was definitely a fan.

"She wrote on all the stop signs in the schools parking lot"

"That was her?" Coach Beiste chuckled "how do you know?"

"Because none of the other kids in this school could come up with something so pedantic and... clever" he reluctantly added the last word

"Give it a rest Will, she's just a kid and it's just a few road signs in the school parking lot. It actually brightened up my morning" The coach then started humming a familiar tune

"I too thought it was clever" the guidance councillor quietly agreed

The Spanish teacher just sighed and held his hands in his head

...

Moments later Quinn and Rachel were pulling into the parking lot in Rachel's Lexus. Quinn saw the stop sign immediately, with the words written in black marker underneath

STOP  
><em>Collaborate and listen<em>

She glanced over to the driver who didn't seem to bat an eyelid at the signs that other students were actually looking at as they walked across the parking lot. Well it was hard to tell, but Quinn didn't think Rachel had reacted to the signs, she was hiding behind her sunglasses

She turned in her seat to look at the other three signs in the lot. She strained her eyes to read one by the exit

_Don't  
><em>STOP  
><em>Believin' <em>

That bought back some happy memories. She looked out her side window to see another one

STOP  
><em>and stare<em>

And students and teachers were. Many of them smiling subtly, before heading to the main building to start the countdown to the end of the day. Finally, she looked forward to the forth sign in the lot; and it had to be that didn't it

STOP_  
>Hammer Time<em>

She laughed softly before looking to Rachel "Did you..." she let the question hang in the air. The short brunette just shrugged while a little smile crept onto her lips. Yeah, she did.

**Let me know what you think...**


	8. Cells

**Sorry for the wait, I had writers block on this, so I'm skipping the 'first glee club meeting for Rachel' bit I was stuck on and have written a time jump and this instead :/**

**Thanks for reviewing the previous chapter; I'm glad you all seemed to like the Stop sign ideas, I saw one with 'Hammer Time' on it too, and realised you could use a tonne of different songs and lyrics.  
>Anyway thanks for reviewing: Cassicio, musicpro21, alex, TrustInFaith, supernena25, Musicfutbolfan6, MaJorReader619, Alese222, Gardenia2, aquarius127 and meglys<strong>

**Posted: 4/10/12**

Cells

By the time it had reached that Tuesday afternoon, Rachel had reminded herself why she had joined the glee club; it wasn't to revert to her old ways it was to simply be there for Quinn. So as much as she was irritated by Mr Schue and the two resident Divas she did her best to keep quiet and not squirm at the torture she was enduring.

Every time this man opened his mouth she wanted to shove his board marker pen, which was still in his hand, up his nose.

By the end of that glee club meeting he had given out an assignment, Rachel hadn't heard a word of what her task was and had walked out like a robot behind Quinn and the other gleeks.

...

Exactly two weeks later and if Rachel had been aware she had to sing a song in glee club within the next hour, her day would have done the impossible and got just that much worse. After 2nd lesson she'd been cornered by Azimio and some of the other guys on the football team. Two of the bulky sidekicks had held her as he hit her, less than a beating more than a single punch.

She'd received worse during her spiralling downfall from the original Rachel Berry to whatever you could call this. This time she got a cut lip and what she was sure would be a black eye.

The nurse didn't believe her when she said she's walked into an open locker but she didn't ask for the truth. She just let Rachel lay in the back room behind the curtain with an ice pack to her face for 3rd lesson.

Stories revolved round the hallways and classrooms as to what had happened: Azimio's Attack, some of the smarter students, familiar with alliteration had come up with that one.

She didn't answer any of Quinn's worried and somewhat angry questions during 4th, she just kept her head down.

She disappeared at lunch.

By the end of the day a new story was going around; Rachel's Revenge, was one label for it. Quinn didn't know what to believe, seeing as she knew Rachel could be extravagant in her story telling, she'd wait until the glee club meeting when she saw Rachel again to question her all over again.

Quinn was glad to see Rachel's left eye hadn't swollen up too much by the end of the day, but now she had bruised knuckles on her right hand. Quinn sighed, the stories she'd heard must have been right then, not something Rachel had made up and spread herself.

"Rachel what happened? People are saying you got attacked by the football team, then you beat up Azimio, is it true?"

Rachel avoided eye contact she scoffed in defence "he didn't beat me up"

"Then what is this" Quinn poked at the bruising area round the shorter girls eye making Rachel grimace and swat her hand away "see that hurt, looks like someone beat you up"

"It's just a scratch" she tried to say dismissively "Don't worry about it"

"You should tell someone" she kept her voice quiet as more of the club started to filter in, Finn giving the pair strange looks at the way Quinn was leaning in close to Rachel's ear "a teacher, or even Principal Figgins" she sounded genuinely worried which comforted Rachel, greatly, not that she'd let it show.

She looked sharply at Quinn, regretting any possibly harsh action when Quinn quickly recoiled; she pushed past whatever she was feeling and sneered "Don't know if you've noticed by now Quinn, but the teachers don't care, otherwise those slushy drinks would have been banned from the premises"

Rachel had a point, and before she could any anything anyway the teacher of the year (detect sarcasm?) walked in.

"Right, today's the day guys" his announcement settled the group "The assignment is due today, so who's going first" Kurt and Mercedes seemed to sit up straighter, possibly a few others did too. Tina and Blaine looked eager too, others sunk in their seats with their defeatist attitudes.

A couple of years of being in the background, they were used to it. They didn't believe this task would change anything so they didn't care to bother.

And just as the lost expression spread onto Rachel's face, Mr Schue zeroed in on her

"Rachel, why don't you go first? Show us what you got" he clapped his hands as if it would wake up the sleepy students and enthuse everyone (yes, more sarcasm)

"Right..." she said slowly glancing round at the group, as If that could help her "what was the task?" she got glares from Kurt and Mercedes for not paying attention, she got a laugh from Puck and sniggering from a few others.

"Haven't you been listening for the past two weeks?"

"Not really" hey a least she was being honest, and this time when a few people round the room giggled or chuckled she felt that were with her, not at her, probably because of the look on the Glee club directors face

"Well" he sighed, but held his nerve. He wanted to encourage Rachel not just kick her out, besides they needed her. With the constant threats from various members of them leaving he could do with the extra member in case one of them actually went through with it "It was Quinn who bought my attention to the fact that the people in this room barely know each other, so the task was to sing a song, simply about you and how you feel being here"

"Wasn't my audition song appropriate for that?" she shrugged, and folded her arms as she sunk down into her chair defensively. She hoped she could say that and he might count it as her already doing the assignment.

"You're audition song?" the teacher looked like he was searching his mind, he was completely confused.

"Seriously it wasn't that long ago, it was about me feeling like an outsider, hence singing a song titled _'the outsider'_" she rolled her eyes and huffed again, he was truly ridiculous. Rachel just reminded herself to keep quiet

"Of course" the perkiness in his voice sounded enthusiastic, the look in his idea said he'd already dismissed and forgotten that performance "But, that doesn't count. Surely you came up with something for this assignment"

"Mr S, she didn't even know what the assignment was, she's not prepared because she doesn't care" Mercedes interrupted and for once Rachel was thankful "And if she doesn't care she doesn't want to be here" she looked pointedly over to the brunette in discussion

"She has a point Rachel" the teacher said

It was true though she didn't want to be here, she spared a glance at Quinn and was immediately reminded of why she was here, how could she forget?

"If you don't have anything-"

She stopped him "I'm sure I've got something" she stood up and walked straight over to the band, ignoring the looks Mercedes and Kurt were giving her.

She stopped by the band and told the various, often dismissed and underappreciated, members what she wanted them to play, they all nodded and smiled as they got ready. Rachel then asked the guitarist if she could borrow his electric guitar, he seemed a little reluctant at first, but slipped the strap over his head and passed it to her.

She slipped the strap over her shoulder, having to adjust it slightly because of her height. She then nodded to the band to start.

As she counted herself in Rachel thought back to earlier, the beginning of lunch when the halls were still relatively crowded and she found her target. When she'd thrown that first punch in defence to avoid a slushy facial, weeks ago, she hadn't thought that they would have held a grudge for so long. And they'd been waiting for the perfect time to strike, when she was surprised. She hadn't given them enough credit for planning ahead like that. But at lunch time she got her revenge for earlier that morning.

_Rachel had tried to hid her bruising eye behind her hair as she walked down the hallway towards the cafeteria and where she was supposed to meet Quinn, but then she saw it, an opportunity ant it was too good to pass up._

"It'll all click when the mortgage clears  
>All our fears will disappear<br>Now you go to bed  
>I'm staying here<br>I've got another level that I want to clear"

She peered up and scanned her eyes over the glee club members, darkly to try and fit the mood of the music. She didn't actually need to play the guitar herself yet, her audience seemed to be anticipating that more than her actually singing, they didn't know she could play the guitar too.

"My skin feels like orange peel  
>My eyes have been vacuum-sealed<br>My organs move like a squirm of eels  
>We should be more adventurous with our meals<br>They annoy me those who employ me  
>They could destroy me<br>They should enjoy me  
>We eat chinese off our knees<br>And look for each other in the TV screen"

_It couldn't be more perfect as she stalked closer and closer to oblivious Azimio as he went through his locker. There wasn't another red jacket in sight, sure there were a few Cheerios but none of the football team. Rachel couldn't believe her luck as she closed in._

_She already had it planned in her head she wasn't going to take a cowardly approach. She wouldn't hit him below the belt, because that was too easy, and she'd face him head on, face to face. She wouldn't just pounce._

"The sun goes up and the sun goes down  
>I drag myself into the town<br>All I do I want to do with you  
>Everyday I'm at my desk<br>At my desk I'm like the rest  
>All I do I want to do with you"<p>

She couldn't have been more obvious when she looked at Quinn during the chorus; Santana just rolled her eyes and kept her arms folded and her legs crossed protectively in case the midget started the leering at her too. She only had eyes for Quinn though when it came to song, which is when she'd open up the most.

_She felt the air round her freeze as the people did. They watched as she stepped up behind Azimio and cleared her throat, she didn't lose her nerve as she realised just how much bigger he was than her and that he could easily kill her with those fists... at least he didn't name them like his right hand man._

_He laughed at her and the fiery look in her eyes, that didn't help her temper. He asked what she wanted, she said she it was about payback, he laughed again. She'd underestimated him and his friends in the 'smartness' department, he shouldn't be underestimating her in the 'strength and physical strategy' department. She just smirked as she raised a fist to strike._

"On the city's skin they move on mass  
>Like a rash on the back of a manky cat<br>Now in I go like a fool  
>I can't resist dipping in the pool<br>I watch them watch me I watch them too  
>Across the street across the room<br>I dress myself like a charcoal sketch  
>My eyes are brown and my hair's a mess"<p>

She ran her hand through her wavy hair to mess it up a little more as she sang that line, all before returning her attention to the borrowed guitar, ready to play the next bit.

_He matched her action, raising his own hand to beat her to the first punch, she used her left forearm to knock his arm, avoiding another punch form him today, as she kept her own fist gliding forward._

"They annoy me those who employ me  
>They could destroy me<br>They should enjoy me  
>We eat chinese off our knees<br>And look for each other in the TV screen"

_She struck him twice across the jaw with her right , leaving her left free to keep his right arm away. He was stunned by her punches anyway, so he wasn't able to react and strike back quickly._

_She grabbed his left shoulder with both her hands, steadying herself and keeping him in place, against a locker that neighboured his open one, as she kneed him twice in the gut, winding him._

_After that she went back for one last punch, a strike square to the nose, making his head move back smacking it against the locker behind him, and further stunning him so he fell to the floor in front of her._

"The sun goes up and the sun goes down  
>I drag myself into the town<br>All I do I want to do with you  
>Everyday I'm at my desk<br>At my desk I'm like the rest  
>All I do I want to do with you<br>The sun goes up the sun goes down  
>I drag myself into the town<br>All I do I want to do with you"

_She crouched down next to her hazy victim, she flicked his letterman jacket open so he could get to his jean pocket, she pulled his wallet free, opening it up and taking the $10 she found there. She then shut the wallet again and slyly put it back in his pocket, as if it had never been touched. She stood up again, while Azimio stayed on the floor leaning against the lockers, still stunned and only partially conscious._

_She stopped a passing freshman who held a cup of blue slushy. He looked at her worried, she just folded the $10 bill and tucked it into his shirt top pocket before tacking the nearly full cup from the boy and letting him go. He didn't immediately leave though; he just slowly backed up to see what she'd do_

"The cells I am at the moment will soon die  
>But I will be here<br>Oh I'll still be here  
>The cells I am at the moment will soon die<br>But I will be here  
>Oh I'll still be here"<p>

_She took the straw out of the cup, obviously the freshman had planned on drinking it, not chucking it at someone. She didn't need the straw though._

_She leisurely poured the contents of the icy drink onto her victims head before dropping the cup too, letting it bounce off his head._

"The sun goes up and the sun goes down  
>I drag myself into the town<br>All I do I want to do with you  
>Everyday I'm at my desk<br>At my desk I'm like the rest  
>All I do I want to do with you"<p>

_With that she left, strutting down the hallways owning them again. She felt satisfied, she'd had her revenge and she didn't need people to hold him there as she hit him, and added to his humiliation with the slushy. She was also satisfied with the amount of witnesses, the story from her beating this morning would be replaced with this one, she'd be on top again._

"Everyday, everyday, everyday..."

She eventually faded out making the room plunge into silence.

Something in Quinn hearing Rachel sing didn't sit right and it wasn't all the eye contact, she knew Rachel felt comfortable with her and not anyone else in the room so it was just for encouragement and confidence, right? Its just, the song didn't seem to really fit. Most might think the slow, almost sinister alternative music was perfect for Rachel and it should have been.

But Quinn saw something different in Rachel for fractions of time and that made her feel like this music, this song wasn't Rachel at all

"Well... Rachel that was nice... what does it say about you?" Mr Schue was the first to speak

'_Seriously?'_ she wanted to ask, wasn't it obvious "well the song relates to how I feel here, and with where I am in my life" she decided it would be easier to explain "And we all get different meanings from songs, but the message I got from that song was exactly how I feel: I feel like I'm in a prison, in a cell, making no progress. I want to stand out but I blend in... and there's very little good in my life" yet again she couldn't be more obvious when she looked at Quinn at the last part "I just want..." she trailed off, as it hit her.

She'd just admitted those things out loud. That was her problem, old Rachel was always so out in the open, talking about everything, trying to get out every emotion, locking it up was difficult. Now she craved attention, she found herself wanting to open up, not about everything but something's. And it was hard to keep it all locked up all the time, so she'd let some of that emotion slip, to a group of people she barely knew.

She was saved from the questioning looks she was getting when another member of staff from the school walked through the door. The woman standing there lightly tapped on the open door getting everyone's attention "Sorry to disturb, Mr Schuester, Principal Figgins has requested to speak with Rachel Berry"

"Oh, of course, Rachel you're dismissed" he nodded to his student letting her go.

Rachel just nodded, she was only a little surprised to be called out now, seeing as it was the end of the day. She was surprised Figgins hadn't been with the other students running for the exits when that final bell rang. It was just his luck that she was still in school and he could send his secretary to bring her to his office.

She gave the guitar back to the boy in the band, saying a short 'thanks' to him for letting her borrow it. She then grabbed her bag from under the chair she'd been sitting on

"Do you want to take my car keys, I'm not sure how long I'll be-"

"It's okay, I'll ah..." she glanced back at Santana

"I'll take her home Berry" the Latina said. In the past two weeks Quinn and Santana had started talking more, not much, but more than they had in recent months. So Santana really didn't mind, as they were trying to rekindle an old friendship... or even create a much better one that the first one.

Rachel just nodded before silently following the secretary, who's name she still hadn't learnt, to the Principles office.

.

"Miss Berry, it has come to my attention, that you were involved in unacceptable behaviour involving bringing harm to another student. Before you speak I should let you know I have been informed that you are also a victim. Can you please explain your side of events?"

It was amazing that his nasally voice had become so irritating after he'd said just one sentence

"Um..." she shook herself awake "What can I say? I had a little dispute with a fellow student, I feel it has been resolved for now" she explained cool-ly, not really caring about getting into it. It seemed kinda pointless to bother as she'd already explained to Quinn.

"Did you assault Azimio Adams?" he cut to the chase, and cut the polite manor for a straight forward one too... he didn't want to be here any longer obviously and he didn't realise she'd try and use long sentences like he had tried to use

"Correct, after he assaulted me" she mirrored the principles tone

"So these injuries" he pointed to her face "You got them when fighting with Mr Adams"

"No, he hit me then I later retaliated" she corrected him

He let out a long sigh, why did he have to hear 5 versions of a story before he could deal with it and then finally go home

"Look, Sir, I feel it would be best for me to write down my version of events, then you can compare them to whatever you've been told. Then you can decide on the appropriate punishment" a punishment she had no intention with following through with, unless it was expulsion.

"She called me Sir" he chuckled lowly to himself. He looked like he was about to blush which would have totally crept Rachel out. But on the other hand it just meant her plan was working, she'd talk her way out of this. His tone wasn't as dead or as harsh now "Okay Miss Berry, you write an incident report, hand it in tomorrow. If I feel you a punishment is fitting I will let you know, most likely detention" _'no punishment then'_ she thought to herself "If not consider this a first warning" his tone changed to a little more threatening but still softer than earlier "You may leave now"

"Thank you Sir" she thought she might as well use it again so she could get a clean get away.

.

Once she was free she realised she probably could have gone back to Glee club, but then she knew she'd get interrogated, at least by Quinn, and she just wasn't in the mood right now. So she headed straight for the exit.

As she was getting in her car she saw the principle she'd just been speaking with speaking for the exit in his own car. She had to laugh to herself, no wonder he'd been so keen to just let her go, maybe she hadn't needed to use any charm to escape.

.

She was quickly home and through the front door dropping her car and door keys in the bowl on the table in the foyer.

"Rach, you home?" she heard from the kitchen

"Dad?" she called back "What are you doing home already?"

"I could ask you the same" she heard him chuckle then something clank in the kitchen, like a pan hitting the counter top "I got the afternoon off, how come you're h-" the question died as he stepped out through the kitchen door and saw the state of his daughters face

"What?" she tried to play dumb, hating the attention caused by her own stupidity for letting it happen.

"Baby girl" he gasped and tactlessly grabbed her jaw between his thumb and index finger so he could move her head and get a better look at the damage "What happened to your face?"

"Just ran into some trouble" she shrugged and stepped back towards the front door so she could take her black jacket off and hand it up on the coat stand.

"Am I going to be hearing from the principle?" he called as he headed in the opposite direction, back to the kitchen

She met him in the kitchen before she answered his question "No don't worry about that, I cleared my name" She didn't want him to worry, she felt guilty enough when she was around him, just because he was with her, anyway. He was standing in front of the open fridge finding what he needed.

He paused what he was doing and glanced at her. He raised an eye brow sceptically "Oh really"

"Well, you know what a charmer I am" she said so modestly

"Oh I see" he chuckled

"So anyway, what are you doing with all that?" she suddenly looked worried at the amount of raw food he was taking out of the fridge

He dropped what was cradled in his arms on the counter in between them "we're going to cook dinner together"

"Oh" she whined and pouted "Do we have to? You know I'm a bad cook"

"Actually if I remember rightly you used to be the best cook in the house, and you'd do the whole head chef routine if someone tried to help"

"Don't tell me you miss that" she scoffed as she rolled one of the various unidentifiable runaway vegetables across the counter back to her dad.

"Actually I do, so I thought we'd cook together"

"Do I have to?" she pouted

He just laughed and let her know "I'm immune to that Honey"

"Damn" she muttered

"And yes you do have to help me, we're got guests coming later" he explained as he grabbed the utensils necessary to help them with their newest creation

She groaned even louder and slammed her head down on the kitchen counter top in front of her. She didn't really hit her head that hard it was just for dramatic effect. At least it made her dad laugh.

She slowly raised her head again and begged "Is it your boring work colleagues"

"You don't know any of my new colleagues so how can they be boring?" he asked

"Because you're colleagues are always boring, especially when compared to you, daddy" she fluttered her eye lashes and tried again to get out of this "Please, I'll hide in my room, you can say I'm out, or sick" she then coughed very unconvincingly

"You're such a drama queen" he chuckled again "And it's none of my new colleagues, I've invited Judy and Quinn over. Will you help me now?" he smirked knowing he had her attention now.

"Well... I ah, I guess It would be too impolite... and I can hardly say I'm sick if Quinn saw me in school today... and they're not boring so I _guess_" she stressed that last word like this whole ordeal was such a heavy chore "I can spare the time"

"Uh-huh" he nodded, playing along "Wash your hands and we can get started"

...

Rachel had disappeared as soon as the food was in the oven to get ready. The whole evening was just supposed to be a casual thing but Leroy still wasn't when Rachel came back down stairs after half an hour, in a blue and red plaid shirt over a white t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and her hair perfectly brushed so it wasn't just a mess on her head.

"You're all dressed up" her dad teased as soon as he saw her come down the stairs

"It doesn't hurt to look presentable" she said lightly

"You're not just trying to look nice and help your dear old dad cook dinner to look good for your girlfriend and her mother" he teased

"She's not my girlfriend" She said calmly

"I know, I just like annoying you, think of it as me getting my own back" he chuckled just as the doorbell rang "Oh looks like you were ready just in time"

.

Quinn had already decided to give up on asking Rachel about what had happened today, she'd already learnt that if Rachel wanted to talk about it she would, although she wished Rachel would just open up to her more often. She thought of Rachel as her best friend but at the same time she didn't know her as well as she thought she should.

"Rachel, are you wearing makeup?" her dad smirked from next to her, drawing everyones attention onto her

"Um, just a bit to cover the... you know" she muttered the last bit "Black eye" she muttered again, not wanting to make a bad impression round Judy

"How did you get the black eye?" Judy asked like she might ask a normal question, like 'what's your favourite colour?' well maybe not that type of question.

"Walked into an open locker" she smiled at Judy, hoping that would be enough to dismiss one heap of a conversation

"Oh... Quinnie said she heard some boys hit you, I hope the schools going to do something about it" Judy sounded genuinely concerned, just like her daughter did often when it came to trouble with Rachel. The short brunette glanced at Quinn opposite her who had her head bowed. Rachel noticed the tips of Quinn's ears were burning bright pink, like the strip in Rachel's hair. Quinn was blushing, and Rachel was sure it was from embarrassment that her mother had called her by that nickname she hated.

"You were beaten" now Leroy was worried too. Of course he was worried when he saw her face earlier but he assumed she'd got into another even matched scrap.

"Don't worry Mrs Fabray, it's okay now"

"How many times do I have to tell you? It's Judy, not Mrs Fabray"

"Sorry, Judy"

"What do you mean its okay now?" well if Quinn had the parents on her side now was the time to ask "Azimio gets his friends to hold you while he beats you, then you kick his ass at his locker and that's even"

"Its a warning, he shouldn't underestimate me" Rachel said lowly

"What's Figgins doing about it then?" Rachel didn't answer, because her meeting with him had never really come to conclusion. The blonde abandoned her fork so she could focus on glaring at Rachel, she scoffed before she said "Let me guess, nothing happened? Azimio can just beat you up another day"

"I retaliated Quinn, I'm going to get in trouble too if they go ahead with punishment"

"Yours could be called self defence"

"Rachel" Leroy intervened "I think I should have a word with someone at the school, and get this properly resolved. I don't want you getting hurt baby girl" now it was Rachel's turn to blush in embarrassment at the not so hated nickname her dad used for her

She turned to look straight at him and with begging in her eyes said "Please don't, I don't want to make a big deal out of it"

"Okay" he was heavily reluctant, but he understood Rachel better than most and despite the explosive impact she'd already had at McKinley she's actually gone there intending to be invisible "But if the tiniest thing happens you are to tell me. This is the last time I overlook anything" he warned.

"Okay, I'll tell you, I promise" she said with relief.

"And if she doesn't tell you, I'll let you know Leroy" Quinn informed him.

"Thank you" he smiled back at her.

"Suck up" Rachel muttered as she poked at her food again with her fork.

"You still love me" Quinn smirked as Leroy and Judy shared a knowing smirk of their own across the table.

Yes Rachel believed her feelings weren't far from those words and it was like torture when Quinn said things like that, she wanted to face palm.

**Let me know what you think...**

**Not really much progress I know, I **_**think**_** I'm going to bring the skanks back in the next chapter**

**The song was **_**Cells – The Servants **_**The instrumental version was used in **_**Sin City**_** and **_**The Transporter 1 & 2**_**.**


	9. Breakdown

**Thanks for reviewing since the previous chapter: Musicfutbolfan6, RainBlueWater, WhatHurtsMeMost, Cassicio, LoveSKINS94, General Mac, Guest, Artemis, Guest, turnaroundchloe, kezztip and logged out.**

**Sorry its taken so long**

**Disclaimer: I stole a part of this chapter from 'Some Girls'**

**Posted: 12/2/13**

Breakdown

"Rachel" oh great someone else wanted to have a go at her. She just rolled her eyes and slammed her locker shut before heading off down the hallway to her first lesson of the day "hey Rachel I'm talking to you" her arm was grabbed and she was tugged back.

She violently ripped her arm away as she was bought face to face with her latest irritation "What do you want Puckerman?"

"I need to talk to you" he glanced at the thinning throngs of students in the locker lined hallway "It's about Quinn, something's wrong with her"

"What's wrong, Quinn didn't want to sleep with you, shock horror" she rolled her eyes again and tried to leave

He put his arm out, slamming his palm against the locker, as he blocked her escape "No that's the total opposite of what happened"

Rachel suddenly felt like she'd been stabbed in the gut, even though she knew she had no right "What? She slept with you?"

"No, but she tried" oh sweet relief, Rachel thought to herself "She's gone crazy, I know she's hiding it from you and everyone else but its all about Beth" Okay Puck wasn't making any sense, but at the same time he was talking better than he normally did, so she tried to concentrate "She had all this stuff in Shelby's apartment, I removed it all but she was basically trying to make Shelby look bad so she has Beth taken away from her. I might have talked her out of it but I don't know. After that she tried to get me to sleep with her, which normally wouldn't be hard but she's not right in the head and even though she doesn't think it I've grown up since I got her pregnant"

"Okay, okay, breathe Puck, just breathe a second. What are you saying?"

He took a deep breath before slowly saying "Quinn is nuts, she's trying to make Shelby look like a bad mom so social services will take her away, I talked her out of it but she might try again. She also tried to get me to sleep with her, but I figured out why so I didn't" above them the school bell rang signalling the start of first period "She wants a kid, you gotta talk to her, she won't listen to me and you're like her best friend"

So Puck turned down sleeping with Quinn, maybe he had grown up as he claimed, maybe he was crazy... well that's what Rachel thought.

"Sure" Rachel said once she blinked herself out of the information blitz "Yeah I'll talk to her"

"Okay" he nodded, his shoulders dropped with relief that maybe the problems would be solved soon, he didn't want anything bad to happen to Shelby, but that was just between him and her. "See you later" he half waved as he disappeared off to his own first class.

Rachel just stayed, with her back glued to the locker as she processed what had just been said. Quinn and Puck had looked after Beth a few times now, she _thought_ Quinn was fine, she _thought_ Quinn told her everything, she _thought_ Quinn was her best friend and could trust her. So obviously this was more serious that.

She had to think what lesson Quinn would be in right now, Maths, that sounded right, with Mr Monotone. She didn't care what the guys actual name was all that she remembered was the guy had the most boring drone of a voice she'd ever heard.

When she got to that class room she knocked on the already open door

"Can I help you?" wow even hearing just 4 words from this guy and Rachel felt herself about to doze off

"Yeah, Mr Schue wants to see Quinn, its about something for glee" that was the best she could come up with right now

"Do you have a note?" he asked, glancing between Quinn towards the back of the room and the girl standing in the doorway.

She suppressed a yawn all while she thought: _'Damn'_ "Oh sure, it's in my bag somewhere" she pulled her shoulder bag to her front as she opened it and started fishing through "Oh damn where did it go" she huffed loudly before dumping her bag on the front desk right on top of someone's books, nearly trapping the persons hand too. She started pulling stuff out, dropping her dog eared books on the desk too "Now where did it go"

"Okay, Miss Berry, don't worry about it" the teacher gave in, too irritated to care anymore "Miss Fabray you are temporarily dismissed" the blonde gathered her things. Rachel started shoving her own books back in her bag too.

As both girls were about to make their exit, they were stopped when they heard "Mr Hudson, where do you think you're going?" They looked back to see Finn up out of his seat with his back pack slung over his shoulder.

He froze and lamely pointed at the door as he tried to explain "I-I'm in glee club too"

"Yeah" Rachel said slowly "Mr Schue didn't need you, just us" she quickly explained as she grabbed Quinn by the wrist and dragged her out the class room. She didn't have any more stories in her right now if the teacher had questions.

They didn't get far before Quinn said "Rach, this isn't the way to Mr Schue's room, or even the choir room"

"We're not going there, that was a lie" She'd kinda hoped Quinn would have been smart enough to already figure that out, perhaps not.

"Oh right... well I need Math so I don't feel like ditching" she pulled her writ back and was about to head back to class when Rachel grabbed her arm again, roughly, almost desperate.

She dragged her round a corner, ignoring Quinn's confused whining until they were tucked into a quiet section of corridor. "What is wrong with you?" the brunette snapped as she dropped Quinn's arm and

"What?" she asked irritated as she rubbed her wrist where Rachel had held her tightly.

"Trying to set Shelby up" she saw Quinn's attitude immediately change as she realised what was really going on

Quinn huffed a humourless laugh and folded her arms across her chest defensively "I thought you didn't care about her"

"I don't, I care about you and this is all about you. What the hell is going on in your head right now Quinn?" she asked in harsh but low tones not wanting the rest of the school to hear this discussion too

"I-I don't know what you're talking about?" Quinn dismissed, there was nothing wrong with her.

"You want Beth back, is that it, or you want another kid, that's why you tried to sleep with Puck"

She didn't let her eyes widen at Rachel's accusation, where the hell was this punk brunette getting this information from anyway. She also didn't get why Rachel was attacking her, Rachel was normally the only person gently and nice to her "Rachel, why are you talking to me like this?"

"Because I need to get through to you" in the short time between Puck talking to her and her finding Quinn she'd managed to play out every possible scenario for Quinn, as consequence of what she was trying to do. So far Quinn wasn't denying it either so Puck had been correct "You're a mom without a kid aren't you Quinn, you wanna just be a mom but that's not working, it's not happening because of what you decided nearly a year and a half ago. I get it, okay, I get that that's what you're feeling"

"Don't you dare say you know how I'm feeling, you don't know anything, you've never lost anyone-"

"Or really, you wanna bet-" she bit her lip before she said something she really didn't want to, this was about Quinn not her, she reminded herself, "At least Beth's not dead, at least she's out there for you to have contact with"

"Don't you get it Rachel, she's all I've got, I've got nothing else left." Quinn crumbled, she sounded so definite that that was what she was meant to do.

"No Quinn, you've got so much, you've got your whole life ahead of you" she softened her voice now that Quinn was listening and looking vulnerable "If you'd held onto her Quinn, maybe she could have been the making of you, but it's too late now, you can't take her away from the only home she's ever know, you just can't. You may think you're ready but you don't know what the future holds Quinn" Quinn's eyes started to turn red and watery, Rachel hated herself but Quinn needed to hear this, so Rachel forged ahead "One day you will meet someone and you'll love them and they'll love you and you'll have a family with them, and it will mean something, something more, even more that Beth"

For a moment the vulnerability was burnt to ashes by a fire burning in Quinn's eyes and voice "Beth meant something!" her eyes were so red, so angry and sad

"But Puck didn't" Rachel told her firmly "It was a mistake, she was a mistake-" a harsh slap across the face only made her falter for a second "I know she's your daughter, but you gave her away-" another slap, she had to stop that time, to compose herself, she ran her hand over her own stinging reddening cheek but looked back at Quinn with determination "It's over, don't do something now that you'll only regret in the future"

Quinn's eyes erupted with tears as she broke down "I just want her back" she seemed to fall forward for Rachel to catch her and hug her tightly

"It's okay" the brunette hushed as Quinn burier her head into Rachel's soldier "It's okay, we'll get past this" she meant it, she'd stick by Quinn and guide her.

"I just need her" Quinn's voice was muffled by Rachel's jacket and her own sobbing "Everything will be okay then"

That line just proved to Rachel the severity of Quinn's problem, that she was going through some heavy stress and delayed loss. Having Beth back suddenly with in arms reach was messing with her head and emotions. "No it won't Quinn, you're not ready. You need to live first" she squeezed gently letting Quinn know she was there for her.

Rachel rolled her eyes when she saw Azimio and a few of his followers come round the corner, the leader boy had his phone already in his hand, he raised it and a little red light came on, letting her know he was recording. "Yeah that's it lez it up sluts" he said as he waved the phone in front of her. She felt Quinn tense n her arms

"Get your tongues in" one of the other jocks, who's name escaped Rachel, jeered along making the others

She gently pulled Quinn round behind her, so she stood between her broken friend and the intrusive boys. She didn't want them to see Quinn like this. How would this end, she wondered, would hse fight them, would she get pinned, and damn it that phone was getting annoying. That's when she got an idea

She snatched the phone right out of his hand "Oh no" she smirked "Lost your phone?" she asked as she slipped it down her top. She hadn't really though, she just kept it covered by her hand and made it look like it disappeared. She discretely pulled it back out with her hand and while they were busy staring at her cleavage she slipped it into her back jean pocket

Azimio's eyes flickers back up to her as he snapped "Give it back!"

"Make me" she snapped back "or come get it, it's down there somewhere" she thrust her chest out provocatively

"Give me back my fucking phone!" he just snapped again, feeling all his power slip away as his supposed friends sniggered behind him.

"Just stick your hand down there" She dared him "It's in there somewhere" when his lip quivered not sure what to say she just arched an eyebrow and asked "What's the matter, you scared?"

"Aww his hands shaking" The sound of Quinn's voice next to her almost made her flinch, she looked at her friend amazed she looked perfect and composed again. She must have had a lot of practice

"Or you could just ask nicely" Rachel suggested

And to her amazement he did "Please can I have my phone back"

"Yeah, course you can" just as the sentence came out her month they all heard something, a small musical noise, it was the phone ringing. Rachel took the opportunity to pretend the phone had travelled, she clenched her legs and bowed a little "Oo, someone's calling you" her eyes were bright as she smirked "You've got it on vibrate" she bit her bottom lip "Oo, that's nice" she squeezed her knees together again and curled up a little before standing up straight again. Azimio's eyes widened in horror, while his friend's eyes widened in amusement and maybe something else.

"Please" he kept his voice low as he leaned in but it was stressed and worried "my mom will kill me if I lose it" Rachel almost laughed in his face for that comment, not so little Azimio Adams scared that his mommy might tell him off if he lost his phone

"Uh oh, I think I've lost it" Rachel's face dropped as she reached behind her, pretending to slip her hand down the back of her jeans and stretching further than she needed 'searched' for the phone "Oh wait" she pulled it out, holding the corner in a pincer grip between her index finger and thumb "There it is, do you wanna take that?" she offer it out while it was still ringing

Azimio grimaced as she cautiously took the phone from her, he hit the receive button and answered "Hello?" everyone stayed silent and watched as they heard the muffled voice on the other end of the line "yeah alright mom" he finally muttered, his friends all laughed as he quickly turned and stormed back down the corridor, the phone still to his ear. His friends finally followed, still laughing and jeering.

Satisfied with how that went Rachel finally looked back to her best friend "So..."

"That was pretty funny" Quinn muttered, Rachel wondered if the blonde was just trying to avoid the main topic though.

Rachel decided to just shrug at her comment "It's better than trying to fight them"

"Yeah" her expression grew harsh "don't fight them anymore" and then it softened as she admitted "I don't like it when you get hurt"

"I'll try" she said lightly "Are you okay?" she tilted her head trying to make eye contact with Quinn who now had her head bowed

"No" Quinn whimpered as tears formed in her eyes once again "I didn't want to think about it, but you did, I just got slapped with reality, Rach-"

"I think I'm the one who got slapped" Rachel chuckled lightly

"Sorry about that" the blonde just muttered before she sniffed

"No, I deserved it, I could have been nicer about it" she confessed. Quinn didn't say anything, which meant she agreed. Rachel let out a sigh "Just... if you ever think about doing something stupid, come talk to me first, I'm an expert when it comes to being stupid"

"Okay" Quinn mumbled

"Do you want another hug?" Rachel asked, trying to keep her hopefulness caged

Quinn just nodded and let herself get enveloped by Rachel's arms again. She just breathed deeply letting herself relax as she hugged Rachel back, for a moment Quinn actually felt she'd let herself down, Rachel was there for her and she hadn't thought to talk to her before about how she was feeling. It would take her time to let go but Rachel would be here.

When they pulled apart Rachel looked sympathetic. She then suddenly cringed as she remembered something "I said I'd meet the skanks to prep something before 2nd period"

"What is it?" the blonde asked with a furrowed brow

"They're feeling kinda let down cause we ditched them, so I was going to make it up to them with just a little prank" she cringed again waiting for Quinn's disapproval

"Rachel" she whined "You're not going to get in more trouble are you"

"Probably" she shrugged "You wanna join in" she asked with a mischievous grin

Quinn sighed and shook her head to herself... "Okay"

"Huh?" had Quinn just agreed to join in on the lame prank "Really?"

"I'm already out of Math, I don't want to go back right now" she shrugged "Lead the way"

"Okay" Rachel's eyes lit up enthusiastically "To the roof" she grabbed Quinn's hand and whisked her away

Quinn almost chocked on her own words "Wait, the roof?"

...

Quinn waited with Sheila, Ronny and The Mack on the lower roof while Rachel disappeared just before the end of first period. By their feet propped on the edge of the one story high roof were a few buckets full of a certain signature icy weapon of the McKinley so called elite. Operation Slushie revenge was in progress

They were still waiting when the first lesson had ended and students had started to file in and out of the building just below them, a few student spotted them and looked worried, but one glare form one of the skanks and they were quickly on their way again.

Then finally they heard the yelling as Rachel made her return. They saw Rachel and people behind her getting shoved out of the way before they saw half the football team on her tail.

"Now!" she yelled as she ducked through the doors below the skanks and Quinn. On her cue they tipped the buckets over forming a rainbow waterfall for the footballers to run into.

The skanks who usually stayed under the bleachers and kept quiet around the school had made a defensive strike. They felt so satisfied when they heard the yelping of the boys below, as they screamed and complained of the burning in their eyes and the ice in the ears and down their back.

For a moment Quinn felt pretty good about it too, she'd never actually thrown a slushie, just ordered the attacks. This was different to those earlier ones though, this wasn't regrettable.

"Hey" suddenly Rachel was next to her, the fire access to the roof wasn't close by so she wondered how the hell Rachel had got up here. Although if she thought back to the few times Rachel had scaled the side of Quinn's house to get into her room, just so they could chat. It was always unnecessary though, Judy had quickly become fond of the girl despite her troubles.

"Hey" she said back. They both looked back over the lip just in time to see Azimio look up with burning eyes and threaten Rachel. She let it slide, she'd be ready for him.

They then saw a few of them head inside only to slip over of the overflow of slushie that had ended up inside the building on the linoleum floor.

After a quick victory celebration Rachel picked up her and Quinn's bag "Can I escort you to your next lesson"

Quinn just snatched her bag and said dryly "We're in the same class"

"Oh yeah" Rachel smirked "Can I still escort you"

Quinn tried her best not to chuckled, to not even let a smile break out onto her lips "Fine" she lead the way though so Rachel didn't see her cave.

**Let me know what you think...**


	10. Creep

**Thanks for reviewing since the previous chapter: Musicfutbolfan6, supernena25, Whisperer21, Cassicio, iamirreplazable, LoveSKINS94, mythic-lionheart, Aquarius127, Guest and kutee (for Chaps 2,3,4,5,6,7,8&9)**

**Posted: 13/2/13**

* * *

><p><span>Creep<span>

Who's stupid idea was it to have a glee club meeting _before_ classes began? Rachel didn't need this first thing in the morning, she also didn't need tree boy towering over her accusing her of crap she hadn't done.

"Keep your slippers on Finnderella" she sighed. Where was Quinn when she needed her? She'd get the idiot to leave her alone with minimum effort.

"No you're going to get Quinn hurt!" a glee shaped audience minus one blonde member and a teacher had formed around them, Mercedes and Kurt bagging a front row seat to their little performance.

Rachel had quickly forgotten his opening statement when this argument had started a few minutes? Hours? Days!? Ago, she couldn't remember. She just asked "How exactly?"

"You made her one of your skanks, you let her go out get drunk, with all those older guys around" Yes that was true but she'd never left Quinn by herself, she'd never let anyone else come near the blonde "Now you're getting her in trouble with Azimio and his friends. And you're trying to make her gay like you"

Okay that one really was laughable, Rachel wasn't trying to make Quinn into anything, just because she had feelings for Quinn didn't mean she was going to really try anything, I mean there was messing around and there was really trying something, and she'd stopped doing both months ago when she really fell for the blonde.

"Wait, you're gay?" Mercedes suddenly asked from the side lines. For a girl who's best friend was gay, and the gossiper she was, she sure was slow

"Get with the programme, wheezy" Santana hissed behind her.

"That's ridiculous Finn, Quinn is her own person, she makes up her own mind. If she wanted a change in lifestyle by joining 'the skanks', and being my friend, just to spice life up a bit then that's up to her but don't you dare accuse me of putting her in danger or trying to turn her gay" she spluttered the last word with laughter, how ridiculous, like Rachel would want to turn Quinn gay, then she'd have to compete with every other lesbian in the world for Quinn's affections

"What's going on here?" the new voice made them freeze.

They both looked to the door where Quinn stood and at the same time "nothing" then went to their seat on opposite sides of the choir room.

...

When the glee club meeting was over Finn pulled Quinn to one side. The blonde looked to the door but Rachel had already left, they had separate classes next anyway so there was no reason for her to wait.

Quinn suspected Finn had another argument for her, so she would have appreciated the support f having Rachel around but that wasn't an option right now.

"I'm sorry I've been a jerk lately" well that had been unexpected "I don't know if you heard what I said earlier" he kinda cringed as he spoke

"Yeah I heard you and Rachel" she confirmed making him wince a little. "But she's my friend Finn, nothing else"

He nodded "Okay... it's just I care about you Quinn"

"Really" she scoffed "After everything I did?"

"Well yeah" he smiled down dopily at her "you're my first love, my only one Quinn" okay she might have smiled at that, it was the kind of thing she wanted to hear "Can we try again?"

Quinn actually snapped her gaze to his that time. She really hadn't expected that "Um well, I don't know"

"Oh come on" again with that dopey smile that some people seemed to like. She remembered Rachel saying how she wanted to punch him every time he pulled that face, that memory made her smile too "we were great together. Just one date" he offered, almost haggled.

She really thought about it and well... this was Finn, her original plan for a 'perfect' life in Lima Ohio "...Okay"

He grinned that time, as he shouldered his back pack "How about tonight?" wow he was confident too

She nodded "Okay" why not, it was worth a try

"Great, I'll pick you up tonight at 7" he looked like he wanted to hug her but in the end he decided against it "See you later" he said as he finally made his exit, leaving Quinn to wonder what had just happened. She thought it felt right though.

...

Rachel didn't get to see Quinn again until just before lunch, she caught up with her in the hallway on the way to the cafeteria "Hey" she breathed over Quinn's shoulder

"Hey" the blonde smiled back

"So it's Friday" Rachel said as she stepped up next to Quinn, matching her pace "I know we haven't for a while but I was wondering if you want to hang out, maybe hit one of our old spots, I know you're looking after Beth tonight but just a quick-"

"Oh I can't tonight, Finn's taking me out on a date..." Quinn's mouth kept moving and Rachel was sure words were still coming out but she couldn't hear them. Her feet stopped working too, she saw Quinn stop and turn as she continued to talk to her. Then if felt like everything turned dark around her as an image of Quinn pulling her heart out of her chest and putting it in a blender played out in front of her.

Rachel felt it rise inside her, like a volcano about to erupt. Before she could stop herself she yelped "What about me!" Rachel's eyes widened, as she swallowed a lump in her throat, like she was trying to swallow her words but it was too late, they were out there.

"Rach" Quinn said softly "You're my best friend and that's great, but I need something different, more, I need security and Finn will give me that" Rachel felt another punch to her lower abdomen, she didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed that Quinn had misinterpreted her spilt words.

"Finn's not your safety net Quinn, don't do this" Rachel sounded like the world was going to end. And it quite literally was crumbling around her.

"We're just going to go on a date, it's no big deal" Quinn chuckled at Rachel's dramatics, not realising how serious she was.

"You broke up with him remember Quinn, why are you doing this?" Rachel simply couldn't understand. Quinn had near enough spilled everything in the first few weeks when they met

"I already told you" Quinn stressed.

"Are you going to sleep with him, is that what this is all about?" she asked lowly, glancing either side of Quinn to make sure no one was listening in.

"No, No!" Quinn yelled "This isn't about that, I promise" Rachel had helped her with that, and was still by her side ready to help her again, she wasn't going back to that plan... she had another one in mind instead

"Why are you doing this then?" _'hold back the tears Rach, hold them back, bite the inside of your mouth if it helps'_ Rachel had to tell herself because she wasn't sure how much more she could take right now.

"Its just... I need this, I need someone to-to- I just need someone like that, to be there _that_ way" what was she saying, she needed someone to love her, to be there for her, that was Rachel, damn it!

"Sure" she squeaked "I'm not feeling too good, I'm gonna go" she spun round on her heel and kept chanting in her head to not break down, not yet.

Quinn watched, confused. She knew Rachel was protective but Finn wasn't a monster he wouldn't hurt her. In their previous two attempts Quinn had been the one to do the hurting, and he still came back so he really cared about her and that's what she wanted.

Meanwhile, all that was running through the head of the girl quickly heading for the exit was: Abandonment. _'Oh god'_ she mentally choked, this couldn't be happening. Quinn was stepping out of her life right now, leaving her, this couldn't happen.

...

Rachel had driven to a secluded parking lot on the edge of town and tried to compose herself only to break down again second later. She laid along the back seats trying to reign in her emotions and telling herself how stupid she was being for getting like this

"You knew Rachel, you knew this would happen, if it wasn't Finn it would be someone else. She's not yours remember, you're lucky she's your friend" she murmured to herself as she curled up in a ball hugging her knees to her chest. She eventually tired herself out and fell asleep.

When she woke up it was dark, she searched her pockets for her phone. When she hit a button unlocking it she had to squinted at the glare from the light from the screen as she tried to read the time. It was gone 7, that was a safe time to go home right?

She also had a text, so she opened it. A huge part of her hoped it was Quinn saying she cancelled on Finn but she was let down when she saw it was her dad.

**Are you okay? You didn't tell me you were going out, just let me know you're safe - Love dad xx**

She smiled to herself for a moment. She then saw he'd sent the text about an hour ago so she thought she better quickly text back.

**I'm okay dad, I'll be home soon - R**

She then sat up, she tried to tame her hair with her hands and she rubbed her eyes. Once she was feeling brave again she climbed through to the front seat, put her seat belt on, started the engine and started the journey home.

.

She hadn't got far before she started breaking again. She hated herself for feeling like this, it was almost a surprise. She knew her feelings for Quinn were strong and had developed quickly over such a short amount of time, but she didn't think it would hurt this badly, she didn't think it would feel like her heart was being sliced up and her stomach would drop. Was this what dying felt like. All she wanted to do now was cry... so she did.

She sat in the driveway trying to calm herself again. She knew she sounded crazy, talking to herself but it was getting through to her a few minutes at a time.

"Oh god Rachel, get a grip, you already knew she didn't want you, why would she. You're so pathetic just get over her already, just stop crying and grow up!"

With a calm long exhale she grabbed her school bag and finally got out of her car. She put the key in the lock of the front door and turned it slowly, hoping she wouldn't catch her dads attention when she got inside.

So far so good, she mentally noted when she saw he wasn't waiting for her inside. Her luck ran out when she walked into the table by the front door, catching it with her leg. "Damn" she seethed

"Rachel? That you?" she heard being called from the kitchen making her freeze

She sniffed and steadied her voice before yelling back "Yeah dad, I'm fine, I'm just going up stairs" she didn't want her dad to see her like this, so she ran, storming up the stairs before her dad could come out of the kitchen and see her. She didn't know Judy was round, having a general chat and catch up with Leroy.

When she finally got to the sanctuary of her room she was able to breathe steady again, for a second.

"What am I going to do?" she whisper asked herself. How was she going to cope if she was mess right now. She was sad, but she was angry too and she wanted to vent she wanted to hurt someone or to trash something.

She looked round her room for something to take her anger out on when her eyes landed on her electric guitar in black with a brush blue effect, in the corner, on its stand.

And for a second, old Rachel make her eyes twinkle with an alternative idea. She dropped her bag to the floor, yanked her jacket off roughly and dropped that over the corner of her bed, then went to her closet and pulled out her amp.

She hooked her guitar up to the amp then slipped the strap over her head to support the instrument. It started in her head first. Maybe she was crazy. But that's where the music came from first, the other guitar, the drums they were in her head playing for her.

She took a pick out that was tucked under the strings, she forwent the usual tuning, it would be good enough. Her fingers hovered over the strings ready to play the necessary chords.

She wet her lips as she started to sing the first verse

"_When you were here before__  
><em>_Couldn't look you in the eye__  
><em>_You're just like an angel__  
><em>_Your skin makes me cry__  
><em>_You float like a feather__  
><em>_In a beautiful world__  
><em>_I wish I was special__  
><em>_You're so fucking special"_

Her fingers brought the guitar to life as she sung the chorus, letting her tears fall but not letting her voice break.

"_But I'm a creep__  
><em>_I'm a weirdo__  
><em>_What the hell am I doing here?__  
><em>_I don't belong here"_

.

Mean while downstairs a pair of close friends and fellow parents glanced toward the ceiling where Rachel's room was above and where the noise was coming from

Judy looked back at Leroy to ask "Is she okay?"

His eyes were glued to the ceiling as he answered "She hasn't done that in a while sung in her room, I mean..." he sounded like he was almost in awe. "It's still not the same, she used to sing mostly show tunes" he muttered as he looked back to Judy "I don't know what's got into her"

"I might" the mother said regretfully

"What?" he leant in eager for any explanation to his daughters sudden change in behaviour, well it wasn't like Rachel would tell him, at least not without a fight before.

"_I don't care if it hurts__  
><em>_I want to have control__  
><em>_I want a perfect body__  
><em>_I want a perfect soul__  
><em>_I want you to notice when I'm not around__  
><em>_You're so fucking special__  
><em>_I wish I was special"__  
><em>

"Quinn started dating Finn again" she said nervously as she wrapped her hands round the mug of coffee in front of her

"Oh dear" Leroy murmured as he took a sip of his own drink.

"He took her out tonight" Judy added

"Oh... well we don't need to guess how Rachel's feeling" he added with light humour, he had no right to judge... Judy did however "How are you feeling about it?"

"Quinn has dated this boy before" she shrugged dismissively

"_But I'm a creep__  
><em>_I'm a weirdo__  
><em>_What the hell I'm doing here?__  
><em>_I don't belong here"_

"Exactly, how are you feeling about it?" he pushed again. Judy was his friend so he wasn't _just_ trying to get the information out of her for his own nosey-ness

The mother thought about it for a second before confessing "I'm a little worried she might be working backwards, she should be looking into colleges, working on her school work or having fun... she becomes isolated when she's with him, focusing on only him and he's a nice enough boy but he's not the brightest" she took a sip of her coffee before confessing a jewel "I prefer Rachel to Finn"

"Judy!" Leroy chuckled almost choking on his coffee "Are you implying what I think you're implying?"

"_She's running out the door__  
><em>_She's running out__  
><em>_She runs runs runs runs__  
><em>_Runs"_

"What, Rachel is a very nice girl and she cares for Quinn, greatly" they'd already talked, they both knew Rachel's obvious feelings for the blonde and discussed them briefly before "And I've spent enough of my life judging people, I'm not going to anymore"

"Well that's really great Judy, for you" he patted her now free had that laid on the kitchen table top "Somehow I don't think Quinn feels the same for Rachel though" he added, almost sadly but not obviously because he didn't want to sound selfish

"I don't know what goes through Quinn's head half the time" Judy sighed guiltily "We try to talk but we never actually talk"

"_Whatever makes you happy__  
><em>_Whatever you want__  
><em>_You're so fucking special__  
><em>_I wish I was special"_

"You just need to sit down with her like we do and try again. Make it seem casual so there's no pressure" he felt like a hypocrite for saying it but he just wanted to try and help. What didn't always work for him and Rachel might work for Quinn and Judy "And if all else fails we'll get Rachel to spill any information" he half joked

"Thanks Leroy" she smiled

.

Back upstairs Rachel was trying to fight tears as she finished her dramatic lone performance to no one, believing most of the words as she sang.

"_But I'm a creep__  
><em>_I'm a weirdo__  
><em>_What the hell am I doing here?__  
><em>_I don't belong here__  
><em>_I don't belong here"_

She fell back onto her bed, her guitar still held to her front and stared at the ceiling

"Grow up Rachel, you knew she wouldn't be yours just stop it and grow... up" she told herself, having to reign in a sob at the end, heart break had never hurt so bad.

.

"I do have one question though, how is it you still approve of my daughter?" Leroy asked his closest friend

"Leroy" Judy gasped, shocked to hear him of all people say anything partially negative about his child.

"What, I love her to bits but if I weren't her parent I can't say I'd approve of her behaviour or me for letting her be like that"

"Leroy, sh-she's just a little troubled" she really had no idea "But she took care of Quinn, she made her go through a teenage phase even if it only lasted a couple of months" she chuckled remembering the shock she got when Quinn came through that door with Pink hair and a nose piercing. She'd been so blindsided by the hair she didn't see the clothes "Quinn she- after the... pregnancy Quinn tried to grow up too fast, talking about that Finn boy again and their future plans... when I was still with Russell it made her sound perfect, she was going to be me... now that makes me feel a little sick, I want so much more for her" she paused for a moment, her eyes looked distant as if she was thinking intently "Sometimes I see the way she looks at Rachel and I wonder... I don't want to ask her, it might worry her or scare her, but I do wonder. I mean Rachel would let her fly" She smiled, proving her comfort of the situation "If that is how Rachel feels about her, I'm a little worried for Rachel" she looked to the ceiling referring to the singing and guitar playing that had faded moments ago.

"She could be a star" he smiled fondly "But... so much has changed I just... I don't know what will happen to her anymore"

Judy knew it was pushing but she had to know what was going on, she still didn't know the whole story "Leroy what did happen to Rachel. You said she liked show tunes before" she saw vulnerability in his eyes so she slid her hand over his and gave it a comforting squeeze "You've helped me Leroy now let me be here for you"

"...Okay" he tried not to choke as he started his story "Rachel had an older sister called Abby, she was a wild child, the sort of person Rachel is now, with the clothes, piercing, tattoos and the music tastes and she was very protective of Rachel" he clenched his eyes and exhaled slowly to calm himself "One night Rachel wanted to go to a party, Abby said no because she didn't trust the boy who'd invited Rachel. Something about that boy being in an older year and Abby knew him better, she knew his reputation. Rachel went anyway, separately. But when she got there Abby dragged her out of the house" he swallowed thickly "On the way home they were in a car accident. Rachel came out pretty unscathed but Abby didn't make it" he said sadly, he felt Judy's grip on his hand tighten so he grasped back, gripping her fingers inside his hand "she blames herself, she said she was selfish and if she hadn't gone Abby wouldn't have been in the car at that point"

"But if it was an accident" Judy said as if she was trying to convince him, but he already knew that

"Exactly... The personality change part, I think she's trying to fill a void" he explained. Rachel was trying to be the person whose death she felt responsible for. "She has two younger siblings too Rebecca and Adam" Judy was silent letting Leroy continue to spill, the way he just kept talking told her he needed this "The way my husband just blamed her, it was so wrong" she saw and heard the disgust in his sentence "I love all my children but the way he tried to get rid of Rachel, I was so worried she might try something, might hurt herself I had to leave them and stick with her" it had been a hard decision, but he was still fighting to see his other children, he couldn't let Rachel be alone and vulnerable when she did nothing wrong "That's why I don't push for her to change, this is her coping, this is her filling Abby's void, and I don't want to push her to change back, in case she finds some other way to cope"

Judy just nodded, it wasn't as if there was anything she could say that Leroy didn't already know. Despite all the horror she just heard there was a little something niggling at the back of her mind, she couldn't help but ask, for Quinn's sake.

"So how much of Abby did she adopt, was Abby... I mean did she like girls?"

"Oh, no that's all Rachel, Abby had various boyfriends, But Rachel" he stopped trying to remember exactly how it happened "Rachel didn't... come out until after, she'd never told anyone before, I remember her saying Abby was always so true to herself, and that's when Rachel told us... well me" Judy felt some relief, thought it was selfish, but at least she knew that Rachel's feelings for her daughter weren't some part of an act, they were real "As far as I know has never had an actual girlfriend. Rachel is more the image of Abby, Abby didn't sing, she had a few more piercings and a few more tattoos... I do worry about Rachel, don't get me wrong, but... she's not killing herself, and the drinking has lessened since she met Quinn so... I feel she's safe" he leant back in his chair and finally made eye contact with Judy again "Am I a bad father?"

"No, no definitely not, you're here for her and you're supporting her" she reassured him without having to think about it.

"It's hard to talk to her too, she won't always open up"

"Seems we share that problem then" Judy muttered sadly

...

"Rachel, honey" the words from her dad at her door woke her. She rolled over to see him, or rather just his head peeping round the door "Are you okay?" he pushed the door fully open when he saw her sore red eyes

She just replied with a half hearted "Yeah" her voice was raspy and tired

"I heard that Quinn is dating that boy again" he muttered

"Uh-huh" she looked round for her guitar then remembered she'd already put it back on its stand.

"Rach-"

"I'll be fine" she stopped him, or tried to stop him. The words came out squeaky and weak making him walk further into the room, closer to her bed where she was still sat.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he settled down on the edge of the bed

"There's not anything to say, really" she shuffled over hugging her knees to her chest as her dad squished up next to her "I like her, she doesn't like me, that's it"

"Oh Rach, it will be okay" he slung an arm round her and pulled her close to his side

"No it won't" she just broke, tears yet again started cascading down her cheeks

"I'm sorry things aren't working out for you Rachel"

"It's not your fault" she whimpered "Why did I have to fall for her?"

"I don't know baby girl, she's still your friend though, you've still got her" he reassured her. Hearing her like this was breaking his own heart

"He's going to get in the way" she sniffed and managed to hold back long enough when she realised something "Wait a minute, how did you know she was dating Finn?"

"Judy was here earlier, when you got home"

"Oh" she mumbled "So she heard?"

"Yeah"

"Sorry"

"It's okay... it was refreshing to hear you vent your frustrations so musically" He knew he'd regret it but Rachel should know some of what they talked about "I told her about Abby"

"Dad! Y-you can't – she can't know what I did" she tried to pull away, desperate to put distance between them as if she was worried he'd push her away before she did.

He didn't let her go though, he never would "Rach, you didn't do anything wrong"

"I was being spoilt and irresponsible, It was _all _my-"

"Rachel, how many times am I going to have to tell you, you are not to blame for what happened, no one can be blamed, not the other driver, not Abby and not you, no one did anything wrong, it was just a terrible accident"

"But Abby-"

"I know, we all miss her but... forgive me Rach but after everything that's happened, I'm just thankful that I didn't lose you too" she sniffed as she let herself cuddle into his side. How had she got so lucky to have him as a farther?

"Wait, if Judy knows-"

"She knows not to say anything okay, I told her not to and she understood" he felt Rachel relax a little in his arms again

She started feeling sleepy again, her grief her heart break all catching up on her again "I'm glad you were able to find someone dad" she mumbled sleepily

"What do you mean baby girl?"

"I'm glad you've got such a good friend, you've got Judy to talk to, I know I hav-haven't b-been"

"Shh" he hushed her softly "It's okay, we'll be okay" after a minute he reached into his pocket for his phone "I'll just call Judy and cancel dinner"

"You're going to dinner"

"We were but I can't leave you like this"

"No please go" she looked up into his eyes "I want you to"

He shook his head "Not if you're like this"

"No please go, I don't want to be the reason you're boring" she chuckled softly

He chuckled deeply "You don't make me boring, you keep me on my feet Rachel" he kissed her on the forehead "I'm not going anywhere"

"I know... but please go to dinner" she squeezed him tightly then let go fully to free him and to look into his eyes "I won't do anything stupid I promise, I won't leave the house"

"Rach-"

"Please, just go, I need you to go out, I'm only going to sleep, or listen to music or something" She told him with red but shiny pouty eyes. He sighed, he was torn, he shouldn't leave her.

"I promise" then again she hadn't seen her look that honest in years

"Okay, but don't make me regret this" he still wanted to talk to Judy about a few things. "Do you want me to bring you anything back?"

"Nah I'm not hungry" she said with a brave smile. Honestly, she just wanted some quiet and alone time.

"Okay" he kissed her on the forehead again "be good" he climbed off her bed and started towards the door, before he left he said over his shoulder "if you can't be good, be careful"

She actually smiled genuinely that time

...

Rachel had been scrolling through her music on her laptop, her head phone son her head blocking out the rest of the word. As she scrolled down looking for a track to match her mood the message pop from Facebook startled her. She tapped the volume down button erratically so she didn't get another surprise.

She then clicked on the internet tab, where Facebook was still open. A message box in the corner was open, with Quinn's picture in the corner. She read the simple message from her friend.

**Quinn Fabray:  
>Hi, you really there?<strong>

She pushed her laptop away and took off her ear phones, then got off her bed to look out the window, Quinn's bedroom light was on, so she was home. She'd let herself get hopeful that Quinn needed her, but no she was home, she just wanted to chat. Rachel went back to her laptop and had half a mind just to log out and pretend she never saw the message... she moaned to herself though as she gave in, she wanted to talk to her, even if she really hated her right now... no that was a lie she couldn't hate Quinn.

She typed a quick reply to stop Quinn before she could give up and leave

**Rachel Berry:  
>Yeah I'm still awake<br>How was your date with Finn?**

She hated herself for asking, but she was torn, at the same time she wanted to know, Quinn was still her friend, and she had to be supportive right?

**Quinn Fabray:  
>It was good<strong>

She felt her heart clench with hope

**Rachel Berry:  
>Only good?<strong>

**Quinn Fabray:  
>It was how it always was, he was nice, he paid<strong>

"Well duh, Quinn he should pay" she snapped as she read the words on screen. What was Quinn trying to do, persuade herself that it was the best date in the world.

**Rachel Berry:  
>Where did he take you? Breadsticks?<strong>

She felt bitchy as she typed it."I would have taken you somewhere much better, no stop it, stop it" She muttered to herself as she welled up

**Quinn Fabray:  
>Yeah, its a safe choice<br>not too expensive**

The second part of that message came in a few seconds later. Rachel scoffed, seriously who was Quinn trying to convince here. Or was it an underlined way of simply saying again, it was okay, nothing special. Nothing could stop her from attacking again though.

**Rachel Berry:  
>Yeah cos that's a real great reason to take you there<strong>

**Quinn Fabray:  
>What's is with you?<strong>

"Really Quinn, Really?" she typed a little more furiously, trying to get her message back quickly as if she would be snappy with her words if she was talking to Quinn face to face.

**Rachel Berry:  
>What's with you! YOU broke up with him, you don't need him!<strong>

There was a long pause, no movement on the other side and for a minute there Rachel regretted what she said. This was a more delicate situation to a conversation in front of one another. She couldn't keep Quinn with her, if the blonde didn't like what she was saying she'd just switch off.

Finally the message box flickered as new text appeared allowing Rachel to breathe again.

**Quinn Fabray:  
>You know what, I changed my mind I don't want to talk about this with you, let's talk about something else.<strong>

She still wanted to talk then? Rachel quickly replied with one word.

**Rachel Berry:  
>Fine<strong>

Then there was another pause. Things had been awkward lately after all of Quinn's stupidity. Okay Rachel was being un fair by saying that, Quinn had only been stupid by going out with Finn. What? Rachel was bitter, okay?

She decided to soldier on, to be her usual self, the person Quinn knew, so she asked.

**Rachel Berry:  
>Do you want to hear a joke?<strong>

**Quinn Fabray:  
>Sure<strong>

It was as if she could hear the defeated sigh in Quinn's voice. Rachel just smirked as she typed out:

**Rachel Berry:  
>What's the difference between Finn and a computer?<strong>

In her room in the house next door Quinn sighed to herself, she'd really set herself up for that one. She decided to just humour Rachel instead.

**Quinn Fabray:  
>I don't know, what's the difference?<strong>

**Rachel Berry:  
>A computer you only need to punch the information in once<strong>

She may have let out a small giggle. Only small though. She was sure Rachel would hear the scolding tone in her next message.

**Quinn Fabray:  
>Rachel.<strong>

**Rachel Berry:  
>It's just a joke.<strong>

And she was sure she could hear the defensive tone in Rachel's written words too. She continued to humour her though and kept the conversation going.

**Quinn Fabray:  
>Did you come up with that one all by yourself?<strong>

**Rachel Berry:  
>Yep<strong>

**Quinn Fabray:  
>I bet you're proud of yourself<strong>

Quinn smiled to herself already knowing what Rachel would quickly answer with.

**Rachel Berry:  
>Very<strong>

**Quinn Fabray:  
>How long have you wanted to tell me that one?<strong>

**Rachel Berry:  
>Just came up with it<strong>

**Quinn Fabray:  
>Really? I don't believe you<strong>

**Rachel Berry:  
>Fine I had that one in my back pocket about a week<br>Did you laugh?**

**Quinn Fabray:  
>No<strong>

**Rachel Berry:  
>You so did<strong>

**Quinn Fabray:  
>Okay but only a little bit.<br>How was your evening?**

**Rachel Berry:  
>Oh you know, nothing as spectacular as going to breadsticks<strong>

**Quinn Fabray:  
>Rachel!<strong>

**Rachel Berry:  
>I'm just messing with you Quinn.<br>I hope he treats you well**

Quinn had to blink a few times to refresh her eyes, was she really reading that. Rachel was suddenly being supportive, why had she changed her mood so quickly.

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you think<strong>

**Obviously the parents couldn't have that length of conversation within the time period of that song but it broke It up nicely... :/**

**The Song was Creep, by Radiohead, although Scala and Kolancy Brothers' cover is interesting.**


	11. Listen To What I Saysbian

**Thank you for taking the time to review since the previous chapter, its greatly appreciated: YourInnate, aquarius127, haelthy, Guest, supernena25, TrustInFaith, Carcar234, Spasian, wagner710, Musicfutbolfan6, Cassicio, iamirreplazable, mythic-lionheart, LoveSKINS94, kutee, Gardenia2, General Mac and ivory19110 (for Ch 1,3,5,7&9)**

**One of you has clued onto one of the bigger things I've got planned later. And a few of you want to see Rachel with someone, I do really like that idea... so I've kinda used it, but only a tiny bit... I think :/**

**Posted: 25/2/3**

* * *

><p><span>Listen to what I saysbian<span>

'_She's crying! Seriously, this bullshit is getting her emotional. This isn't even an apology, what does he think, he can sing things better? Why don't we send him down the hospital so he can sit by some cancer patients, see if this noise can cure them, then we'll all dance around and shout hallelujah!' _she just rolled her eyes, getting herself to look away from this dreadful scene.

She looked across the room, to the rest of the audience, Quinn sat almost as far away from her as she could. Rachel had refused to give in and try to be friendly with Finn just because Quinn was dating him. It had been a couple of weeks now with power couple Fuinn on the scene, and it just made Rachel want to puke.

On the other side of things she'd started hanging around with Puck more often, he wasn't that bad when he wasn't being such an ass, or she wasn't being reminded of what he did to Quinn. There was also the skanks who she still regularly hung out with.

Okay Rachel really wanted to puke now, especially with Kurt sitting in front of her, she'd love to see his reaction if he got a vomit shampooing in the middle of glee club. They were all watching this excuse of a performance from the clumsy boy, who wasn't just clumsy with his feet but turns out with his mouth too. Every member of the glee club showed some sort of heart softening gaze on him, like the words of Cyndi Lauper sung in this slow irritating fashion would reverse time, would change the fact he got Santana outed on television.

Rachel hadn't even had the chance to lay her fists into him yet; being too lazy, sleeping in, she had been the last to find out after she missed its mention on the TV.

She looked back across to Quinn just to double check she was still buying this, she thought she knew Quinn better but judging by the look on her face Rachel had no idea. _'What the hell does she see in him? he's an idiot, he's an anchor too, he's just gonna keep her here and continuously disappoint her for the rest of her lives'_ wow those words really hurt, she'd got it so into her head that this wasn't just like 98% of other high school relationships, and that they'd break up eventually _'Oh god, I'm never going to get a chance am I? He's going to be with her forever- No stop thinking like that- but what if it's true? Will you hang around forever just to make sure she's safe'_ she then rolled her eyes at herself _'Dramatic much? God Rach you've only known her a couple of months' _she reminded herself _'get over her already, it's only Quinn, there's other girls out there' _that's when the other voice in her head whimpered _'no there isn't'_

Just as Rachel's internal two sided monologue... if that was even possible, had finished so did the damn singing. Half the club applauded him, the others were too emotional and their praise was shown by their tears. Rachel just scoffed to herself. She checked Quinn, she was one of the ones clapping.

"Finn, that was" Mr Schue looked so... creepy. The way he looked like he was going to gush all over the boy... _'Eww'_ Rachel's mind cringed as she thought of something dirty "That's was really great" he wiped an invisible tear from under his eye.

"Yeah, thanks Finn" and now Santana was thanking him as she wiped away real tears, trying her best not to smudge her mascara.

'_Nope, no way I can't just sit here'_ Rachel was fighting herself and the confident, rebellious side won, opposed to the heartbroken one that was supposed to try its best and not upset Quinn in anyway, including by attacking Finn "Am I living in fucking a coo coo clock!" flew from her mouth as she jumped out of her seat

"Rachel, Language!" Mr Schue was quick to chastise

"No way Mr Schue, you can't have a go at me for that after the pile of shit that just fell from Piley Cyrus' mouth over there" She pointed at tall and dumb who still stood at the front. Well Miley Cyrus had done a cover of that song once, and this boy always had some dumb expression on his face, some that made him look like he had pains down below, it was a good enough nick name in the moment

"Rachel will you please sit down" the teacher tried again, not wanting the moment ruined though it looked like it was too late

She ignored the teacher and stepped down the risers to take the floor, she turned her attention to the already singled out Latina on the front row "Are you really buying this?" she scoffed "He outed you Santana, _outed_, I got the chance to do that myself, I can't imagine the shock, the anger, the worry, you should be feeling for what he did and you're going to thank him for singing?"

"He apologised" she shrugged, as she started to squirm in her seat. Why couldn't everyone just leave her alone?

Rachel's eyes widened scarily down at the other girl "Santana, I don't think you understand, no apology is going to make up for what he did"

"It was an accident Rachel" Finn finally defended himself "It's not like I wanted this to happen"

"You should think before you speak Finn, and from what I heard it was a verbal attack. You had no right to talk to or about Santana about this subject, its between Santana and maybe Brittany and maybe her family, but it is nothing to do with you" Everyone watched, entertained that Rachel's solo performance was now becoming a fiery duelet on the choir room floor... well the dramatic diva pair were thinking that, a few others like Sam and Puck were betting how long it would go on until Rachel punched Finn.

"Its nothing to do with you but you're getting involved"

"Yeah, but that's after Santana was outed, I'm trying to help here" the usually fiery girl just sunk into her seat further. This wasn't the kind of attention she liked to receive and right now she didn't want to get involved in case the situation escalated, what she really wanted was for them to both shut up, or better still a hole open up in the ground beneath her and for her to get swallowed by it.

"You're not helping, you're just yelling some words" Finn pointed out, as he took a few dangerous steps closer to the tough brunette. This argument had actually broken Finns spell and half the room found themselves silently agreeing with Rachel by now.

"Opposed to just singing some words" she scoffed "You want a song, I'll give you a song" she turned swiftly and approached the band in the corner. She asked boy in the corner with the acoustic guitar if she could borrow it. He seemed to smile with amusement at her as he slipped the strap over his head and passed her his guitar. He, like so many others stuck in the corner overlooked by the glee club, couldn't wait to see what she was up to.

If they thought a song could fix something she'd show them a song. She started strumming the chords as she took centre stage, right in front of Santana and looked the already uncomfortable girl in the eye

"_If you're uncomfortable with coming out, just listen to what I saysbian  
>whatever anyone thinks of gays, everyone loves a lesbian"<em>

Rachel herself still wasn't sure on how she'd stumbled on this song, but she thought it would get their attention today so she went with it. Country music wasn't something she visited often lately but again this felt fitting.

"_Everyone loves a lesbian honey  
>Norton's passé, Ellen's funny<br>Let those Baptists think what they like,  
>there's nothing, no nothing, quite like a dyke"<em>

Santana's eyes widened, after the first verse she hadn't been completely sure that Rachel had really said those words, then after the second verse (or was it a chorus?) she realised this was really happening, Rachel was really singing with mischief in her eyes, yet a strong seriousness in her voice.

"_It's so wrong when you see boys kissing  
>but girl on girl see what you're missing<br>Lindsay Lohan never stopped traffic  
>till she rode Sam Ronson and came out Sapphic"<em>

The rest of the room stared at her wide eyed stunned or trying to stifle their laughter at the lyrics and the fact Rachel managed to sing through without breaking or laughing herself.

"_Everybody loves a lesbian baby  
>you shout '<em>yes'_ during sex not 'maybe'  
>Camp is cliché, lez is half class<br>You'll never find us cottaging for George Michael's ass"_

Santana couldn't sink any lower, she could feel the tips of her ears burning she was _that_ embarrassed.

Rachel chanced a glance to Quinn, just to see if she was disappointed, but to Rachel's surprise Quinn's reaction was similar to the others in the room, she looked torn between thinking the song offensive or funny, and she looked split between disapproval and approval at Rachel's behaviour.

"_So what if our hair cuts make us all look the same  
>At least we don't give the Catholic church a bad name<br>No gay looks straight in a girly frock  
>ladies looks lovely in a strap on c-"<em>

"Enough, Rachel! That's enough" A bright red faced Mr Schue finally cut the girl off.

Rachel sighed heavily and rolled her eyes before returning the guitar to its rightful owner then strolling back to her seat in the corner of the room, and dropping herself onto it with another sigh

"Rachel that wasn't an appropriate song" he scolded again

"I think it was highly appropriate, I'm simply reassuring Santana that its okay, and trying to make light of the situation. Also if I was confident to sing that song I'm hoping Santana can find the confidence to keep her head held high when she leaves this class room..."

He sentence faded as Santana snatched up her bag and fled the room. She left so quickly Brittany didn't even have time to react. The blue eyed girl just stayed in her seat, eyes glued to the door, torn in what she should have done. Santana hadn't wanted to talk to her earlier, so she wasn't sure if Santana wanted her now or not.

Rachel looked back to the group, wondering if she'd been the cause of Santana's drastic exit "Did I do that?" she asked the group that were all looking at her.

It was Quinn's disappointed look that got to her the most "You know, you could try harder to make friends with some of the others in this room" hadn't she tried already? There was only so much she could do when she found some of them insufferable, they didn't like her anyway so what was the use?

"Fine" but Quinn had a point, and Rachel knew she wasn't the easiest of people when it came to being social. The skanks were part of her latest image, and Quinn... well she was an exception. Rachel usually went after what she wanted, not caring what she had to do to get there. Before, that goal was her future career and now... that was a certain hazel eyed girl. "Listen up everyone, party my place tonight, in celebration of Santana's sudden coming out" she grabbed her own bag and headed to the door, planning on finding the Latina to let her know about the party... and to see if she could fix this "Starts at 8 and there will be alcohol" she paused by the door when she realised most of them probably didn't know where she lived "Quinn can give you my address" she called over her shoulder before disappearing

It didn't take her long to find her target, just a couple of turns in the hallways until she spotted Santana at her locker.

"Santana" when the raven haired girl heard her she slammed her locker shut, held her books close to her front and shouldered her bag before continuing to storm off "Santana, wait up" Rachel called as she broke out into a jog, down the empty hallway to catch her up "Santana" she grabbed the Latina's shoulder to get her to stop.

"Is this all a big joke to you" Santana snapped when she was forced to come face to face with the other brunette "It's my life Berry I don't need you creating a scene in glee club like that, it's embarrassing" she pulled her shoulder away from Rachel and backed up "Is everything just a joke to you?" she asked again

"Whoa no, it's not like that" Rachel yelped defensively, none of what she'd said about or to Santana in the choir room was a joke, even the song had had an undertone of seriousness. "I meant what I said Santana. And I know my attitude stinks lately but this is serious, what Finn did was unacceptable, accident or not, and I want to stand by you, Santana. I want to support you and help you anyway I can" Rachel said seriously

It was weird seeing Santana this vulnerable, with those tears on the verge of spilling "I'm sorry Berry, I'm not like you, its no easy for me"

"It wasn't easy for me Lopez..." Rachel stepped away, breaking eye contact with the raven haired girl and leant against the lockers next to them "I just realised life was too short to stop lying to myself, and to the people around me, I'm gay, big deal" she'd never forget when she told her dad, she'd been so scared. She was worried after all that had happened that would be the final nail in the coffin that would make him hate her... she wasn't sure why she felt like that... she just thought back to the night the whole incident happened, it had all come down to some attention from a boy she didn't care for... maybe the girl on his arm had been appealing but there was no reason for her sister to ever worry... she should have told Abby, Abby was her best friend.

Santana scoffing bought her out of her sour day dream "Yeah must have been so difficult for you, with your dad being gay and everything" she uttered with bitter sarcasm. Rachel just creased her brow, she hadn't told Santana that "Quinn told me" now the possessive part of Rachel was wondering when Quinn had spent time with her _old_ friend for them to talk about such things

"Look" Rachel started dismissively "I'm throwing a glee party tonight" there was a sentence she'd never imagined would have left her mouth "and every party needs something to celebrate, so I'm calling it Santana's coming out party" a stern glare from Santana just made her chuckle "I'm serious Santana, even if you don't feel like it right now, you should celebrate, its happened and-"

"This is just the start though" she shook her head to herself as she hugged her books closer "I have to face my parents, I have to face my family that's the problem"

"Well... face them then, there's no point putting off the inevitable" Rachel reassured the other girl "I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think, just wait for them to come home tonight, tell them then come join the party, let me know how it went"

Santana flinched back to normal for a moment as she raised one eye brow at the shorter girl "Why would I tell you how it went?"

"I dunno" she shrugged "it helps to talk to people, and Brittany isn't the most understanding of people"

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked defensively, on the verge of being angry.

Rachel paused to gather the right words, before she put her foot in it again "... That she sees the world full of rainbows and unicorns so she probably doesn't get what the big deal is" if only the rest of the world could think so freely like her "Just know that, in all seriousness, I'm here if you ever need to talk... and in the event that the worst happens and you get kicked out, well you're welcome to come live with me and my dad" she offered, knowing she'd have loved the back up of another home to go to, in the event everything really did fall out from underneath her.

Santana swallowed thickly, being made homeless was at the back of her mind but it felt like a reality once Rachel had said it out loud

Seeing the worry on Santana's face Rachel hesitantly reached out to pat her on the back "Everything will be okay" she told her again. If only Santana could actually believe that. The bell ringing startled both of them. Rachel looked round them as a few students started filtering out into the corridor "We better go" Rachel said

"Why?" Santana asked, too tired to run and hide right now "They already know" she just shrugged

Rachel had actually overlooked that point "Oh yeah... I was thinking we should get away from that locker there" she pointed to opposite them "before Azimio opens it. I wouldn't advise that anyone be within 4 feet of it when he does"

Santana didn't need a bigger warning, she didn't want to get covered in whatever was in there and on the other side of things she could easily become an Azimio target if she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the news that was floating round the halls.

...

"Santana" it wasn't until lunch time that Quinn got a chance to speak to her old friend, to see if she needed any support. Santana just rolled her eyes, expecting to see Quinn with her oversized shadow but she was pleasantly surprised when she turned away from her locker and found just her old best friend standing next to her.

The floor was sticky and red around them, so it didn't take many guesses to realise what Rachel had waiting for Azimio in his locker. Rachel had become a symbol in the school lately and although to some the slushy attack was getting old others saw it as the perfect revenge, it was as though Rachel wouldn't stop until all the slushy that had been dumped on various kids through the years would be returned in the same amount onto the football team.

"Did Rachel talk to you?" Quinn asked, hoping her new friend had apologised for upsetting the Cheerio.

"Yeah we talked... she's okay"

"Excuse me?" Quinn furrowed her brow. Had something happened to the petite girl and Santana was letting Quinn know she was okay or was Santana actually admitting she thought Rachel was oaky... Quinn believed the first thing was more likely.

"Rachel, she's okay, she's not as bad as I thought she was" Santana said with a tiny smile.

"Really?" Quinn asked cautiously, wondering what she'd missed "So everything's okay?"

"With her, yeah... I spent the last lesson just thinking and I'm not mad at her... I still wanna kill Finn"

Secretly that didn't offend or upset Quinn, she would have been more hurt if Santana was still upset with the female brunette. "Okay" Quinn said, as the moment became awkward "She didn't mean to hurt you"

"It's fine Q" Santana reassured, after a pause as she eyed Quinn suspiciously she had to ask "Do you like her?"

Quinn huffed a laugh "She's my friend of course I like her"

"No, do you like her like her"

The blonde just rolled her eyes "What is wrong with people, you and Finn, can't two people be friends, just because she's gay"

Santana smirked to herself in satisfaction "Cool it Q, it was just a question, you know she has feelings for you right?"

"She has a crush on me, yeah, I know" Quinn thought she was agreeing with Santana.

"No Quinn" Santana said sternly "she's crazy about you" for once she wasn't just trying to stir things, she wanted to see if Quinn had any clue what her relationship with Finn was doing to her supposed best friend.

"You've got it wrong" Quinn shook her head dismissively "It's just a little crush, no big deal" she brushed Santana's comments away.

The Cheerio couldn't help but scoff "You don't get it do you, she's in love with you, and your whatever with Finn is killing her"

"She's in love with me?" she creased her brow, no, Santana couldn't be right... could she? Also the irony hadn't got to her yet, she broke up with Finn before the summer because she didn't believe he loved her, Puck didn't love her, all she wanted was someone to really want her... and now she did, only it was a girl.

"Yes" Santana hissed to stress the word.

"I didn't think she..." she cleared her throat "I mean we're friends and we're just- just, she can't"

"She does Q, sorry" Santana mumbled the apology, though she wasn't really sorry. The Latina shut her locker now that she'd got rid of the books she didn't need any more.

When she looked back to Quinn she was surprised to see panic in her eyes "What do I do?" Quinn's voice was bordering on desperate.

"Well first you break up with Finn" despite everything going on Santana was more than happy to give out advice, especially on this subject. It made her forget about herself and her own troubles for a few minutes so that was a bonus.

"But I don't feel like that about her" she was quick to assure the other girl. Why would she need to break up with Finn if she had no intention of dating Rachel. Rachel was her best friend, nothing else.

"It doesn't matter, just..." she sighed "how do you feel about Frankenteen?"

"I-" nothing, she felt nothing, maybe she had once but not anymore.

"I remember the plan, your plan that you drunkenly told me one night, that you'd marry Finn and have his spawn" she grimaced "I don't need to tell you that you don't need to do that, I'm the last person you should be having a heart to heart with but if you won't listen to yourself or Rachel-"

"Rachel? When did she say anything?" Quinn asked, cutting the advice giving girl off

"Really" she looked at the blonde stupefied "I'm sure Rachel would have said something... besides I overheard when you told her you were going on that first date with Finn a couple of weeks ago, the look on her face, when she squeaked 'what about me?', remember that?"

"Oh god" the blonde face palmed

"And think about what he did to me, think about what he's said about Rachel before, and consider who his step brother is, you'd think he'd be a little more sensitive, but he isn't. Now think about it, do you really want him in your life?" she asked, letting Quinn work the rest out for herself, though you'd have to be as dumb as the subject matter to not already have the answer.

"No" Quinn finally mumbled

"So, you got to break up with him" it was like spoon feeding a child at this point

"But like I said" Quinn was quick to explain "I don't like her like th-"

"It doesn't matter Q, you don't have to like her like that, just be her friend... the way I see it, Finn's not worth losing Rachel's friendship" Santana could feel the bile in her stomach, this wasn't good for her, being nice was going to make her skin fall off or something, so she'd have to stop the heart to heart talk soon "She cares about you, and don't be scared of that, she'll still be your friend even though you don't feel the same. She won't even try anything"

"And how do you know that?"

Santana shrugged, then mumbled "Things change when it's real"

Quinn gave her a sympathetic smile "Okay"

"We good?"

"Yeah, we're good" Quinn agreed, she then asked with a glint of mischief "are you coming to the party Rachel's throwing in your honour, tonight?"

"Am I going to your girlfriend's party?" she reworded the question with a smirk

Quinn glared at her and yelped "San!"

"What, you didn't expect me to be nice any longer did you?" she shrugged, but was still smiling, it was nice to forget her own worry

"Just don't say stuff like that" Quinn warned lowly

"Fine" she rolled her eyes playfully

"Santana" the girl flinched when she heard the voice behind her, she turned round to find some nameless jock approach with a confident sway in his step "So I heard the news" he had some cocky smile on his face to go with the sway as he leant up against the locker next to Santana and leant in close "I wouldn't bother with Quinn, word in the locker room is she's a prude" the blonde behind Santana's eyes widened with disgust, well it was final then, she'd be breaking up with Finn "You don't want no girls anyway, why don't I show you how a man does it, a _real_ man" he leant in leering and making Santana feel sick

Before the Cheerio could hurt him with her vicious words he was yanked away from her. Rachel had appeared from nowhere to play hero. She grabbed the boy by the letterman jacket and slammed him into the lockers "Why don't you watch your mouth before I chop your lacking equipment off and feed it to my pet hamster, as a snack" she warned lowly, with scary fire burning in her eyes "Don't you ever say anything or try anything like that again, you got that?" she said through angry clenched teeth

Considering what this girl had already done to half the football team you'd be stupid to test her or fight her. So the boy surrendered, he swallowed thickly and nodded quickly.

"Good, now apologise" she pulled him away the lockers and turned so the boy faced the two girls he'd just insulted, while Rachel had her back to them

"Sorry, sorry" he rambled out over and over again as he looked between both Quinn and Santana. The pair managed to smirk at how his confidence had dissolved because of the really short punk holding him by the scruff of his letterman "I'm sorry"

"Good" Rachel punctuated her word by throwing the boy away from her, he spun round and quickly lost his footing, making him land on the floor flat on his front. He scrambled to his feet again, in a panic, before running down the corridor and out of sight

Rachel then looked back to her best friend and the Cheerio "You two okay?"

"Oh please Berry" Santana rolled her eyes as she picked up and shouldered her bag "I had it covered if you'd given me a second" she then showed some traditional Santana confidence and she strutted away

"You're welcome Lopez" Rachel called after her, she then turned back to Quinn "You better get back to your boyfriend" she said bluntly before heading away herself, in the opposite direction to the way Santana had just gone.

Quinn just watched her go, there was nothing different in the way Rachel had spoken to her then than how she had since she had got back together with Finn, but that tone, she thought differently of its bitterness now... was Santana really telling the truth, did Rachel like her that much?

...

"Hey dad" Rachel called out when she heard the front door open and close. Leroy was more than a little surprised to hear her sound so cheery and the fact that she wasn't upstairs was also weird. Normally she would be out or hiding in her room.

"Rachel? Where are you?" he asked as he pulled his coat off and hung it up on the coat and hat stand by the door

"In the kitchen" he heard her call back, so he followed the voice and the directions she'd given.

When he pushed the door open, and saw what was on the other side, he looked only a little worried "Rach, what are you doing?"

"Throwing a party tonight" she cringed as she placed another crate of beer bottles on the kitchen side "is that okay?"

Like he'd say no to her anyway "Where did you get all this stuff?" he asked as his eyes scanned over the ridiculous amount of bottles on the side

"Do you need to ask?" she asked as she opened the box up and pulled the green bottles out

"Fake ID" he muttered assumingly "You should have asked, if you wanted stuff I could have got you some of it, I don't want you getting caught with that fake ID" he knew that was irresponsible but kids were going to drink, he was happier to know they did it in the safety of his home than out on the streets with possible other bad influences.

"Don't worry" Rachel assured him when he scanned over the amount of drink in front of him "Quinn told me about his contract Mr S made them sign last year about drinking, so anything with a screw cap has no alcohol in it" which was about half the bottles in the kitchen

He eyed her suspiciously as she continued to arrange things for the party "Rachel Berry, don't tell me you care for these people"

"No, of course I don't..." she rushed then gave another shrug "I just thought it might be entertaining if they didn't know half of it was alcohol free, I could see how drunk some of them got of carbonated fruit drinks that kinda look like wine coolers" she told him matter-of-fact-ly, but not convincingly "And if all the labels get soaked off in the ice buckets out back then it makes fooling them all the easier"

"You care Rachel, don't deny it" he smirked at his daughter knowingly

"Fine I care..." she grumbled "I care about our house I don't want the bunch of lightweights throwing up all over the place" she answered with her own smirk

He shook his head but still smiled to himself "So is there a special occasion, Quinn dumped Finn and is now going out with you"

She laughed "Yeah right, if that happened I wouldn't be having a party, I'd be running off to New York to get married to her before she could leave me" she was playful but there was a half truth in that sentence: that if she ever got Quinn she'd never let her go.

"You crazy Rachel, don't go saying things like that round her you'll scare her off" he warned, still keeping the whole thing playful. She'd spent enough time being grumpy and hurt, it was now time to try and move on... even if that felt impossible.

"Oh yeah, thanks for the advice" she cringed jokingly. "Actually the party is an excuse to try and make nice with the glee club, that and Santana a girl in the group just got viciously outed, so I'm trying to help her a little, make her feel comfortable and... yeah" she shrugged dismissively

The words 'you so care' were on the tip of his tongue but he thought he'd let it slide... for now "So is there anything I can do?"

"Actually" she paused what she was doing "I don't suppose you'll be hanging out with your pal Judy tonight?"

"I'm sure I can arrange something, but I can't promise I'll be out the whole night"

"Hey that's fine, just sneak in when you get back, everyone will be too drunk or fake drunk by then to notice" she winked letting him know she was still being playful

...

By about 9 most of the guests were there. The two divas, Kurt and Mercedes, had been first to get there ready to be nosey and find out what they could on Rachel so they could gossip about it. They had shortly been followed by Tina and Mike, then Artie arrived with Brittany, it seemed the two were still close friends... that and Santana was nowhere to be seen yet. Sam and Puck arrived together, then Blaine had been dropped off by his dad.

Rachel had left all the drinks out back on the terrace, using the late autumn cold night time air as a giant refrigerator to keep everything cold in the various containers filled with hosepipe water and floating glass bottles. She'd even been meticulous enough to peel all the labels off already.

That's where Rachel found herself now as she thought about the people inside the house, she'd been thinking about getting closer to a few members, Blaine seemed okay, if a bit lonely, Rachel also had an inkling he had a crush on one of the divas. She often caught him looking Kurt's way, but the more feminine boy never seemed to notice him.

Puck had been okay so far, she was sure they'd be friend by Christmas, maybe she'd make some effort with Sam too, but right now she just cared about one person, and she wasn't here yet... worryingly neither was her boyfriend. Rachel felt her stomach turn as she thought of them alone together. She shook it away when someone joined her on the patio with the drink

"Santana? You made it" she sounded half surprised

"Well it is 'Santana's coming out Party'" she muttered sarcastically as she started to choose a drink "What do you recommend?" she asked as she looked down into the plastic box full of cold water.

"Anything not with a screw cap" the girl with the pink streak in her hair suggested, almost sympathetically, Santana looked like she needed a real drink. "So how'd it go?" Rachel asked cautiously once Santana had chosen her drink

"Oh that" Santana muttered irritated as she looked around for a bottle opener

"You did tell them right?" the shorter girl asked as she took the bottle away and took a bottle opener from her pocket so she could release the cap.

"Yeah" she took the bottle back "I just... my mom and dad were fine about it"

"That's great" Rachel cheered, way too enthusiastically "What's wrong?" she asked when she saw Santana wasn't celebrating too

"My grandmother" she said the title bitterly, and it sounded almost foreign like she'd never referred to that family member like that before "she says she doesn't want to know me anymore" she closed her eyes before tears could escape and took a blind sip from the bottle "Can we go inside the night air, it stings my eyes"

Rachel didn't make fun of the lame excuse she just nodded "Sure" she slid the door open for Santana to go in before she followed and shut it behind them. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know... I kinda wish my parents had said more, they were so... chilled, yeah they said they whole they love me any way bit, but I just wanted more of a reaction from them... maybe less of a reaction from... _her_" Rachel watched as Santana downed half her drink

"It could be worse... at least you still have most of your family" she pointed out. She could relate to losing family at least

"I guess, I should just be happy I still have a roof over my head, right?"

"Exactly"

Santana let out a big sigh "Right... it's a party and I'm standing in the kitchen having another heart to heart" she suddenly said almost disgusted with herself "With Berry of all people" as she bought the bottle up to her lips Rachel saw the smile the Latina was trying to suppress

"Better get out there then, Lopez" Rachel told her as she nodded to the kitchen door.

The two girls joined the rest of the group, and the heavy music on the other side of the door. Brittany, Mike and Tina were on the improvised dance floor, Tina trying not to be outdone by Brittany's moves in front of her boyfriend, and failing miserably. Artie Mercedes and Kurt stood in one corner, Puck, Sam and Blaine in another. Rachel felt she should do something to liven it up, but apart from cliché party games she couldn't think of anything. She should have invited the skanks, they would have made this more fun, even though they would have just formed their own mini party, it would have been better than this.

"So... you wanna dance?" she asked the Latina next to her, feeling it was worth a shot.

Santana looked the punk up and down "Really, tiny?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and muttered into her bottle on the way to taking another sip "Another height joke? Lame"

"Why would I wanna dance with you?"

Rachel kept casual with an unsubtle shrug "I'm single, you're single"

"No I'm not" Santana rushed her words defensively

"So you've made it official with Brittany?" Rachel smirked to herself until she saw seriousness return to Santana's eyes and the drop in her shoulders

"Well-" she stopped herself "No"

"So you're single, and there's no harm in me asking you if you wanna dance?" she pointed out. Santana didn't answer; instead she just looked across the floor to Brittany. "Really Lopez, just go make it official already"

"Yeah right why don't you make it official with Q?" she snapped spitefully

Rachel scoffed and brushed Santana's attitude away with her calm and obvious answer "Because she doesn't want me. She chose Finn over me so she _really_ doesn't want me"

The seriousness changed to something else on Santana's face, like she needed to get something out "The Finn thing, it means more than you think"

"What, they're in Love? Excuse me while I puke" she tried to turn away and escape back into the kitchen

"No..." Santana grabbed her arm and pulled her back, just like Rachel had done to hear earlier that day "I don't know if I should be the one to tell you this but..."

"Just tell me" Rachel sighed, knowing Santana wanted to anyway, everyone loved a gossip and a bitch.

Santana just went for it, she'd already knocked the stupid out of Quinn, now she needed to let Rachel in on some things so she could do the same if it was needed "Before the whole Puck knocking her up thing, she was dating Finn to make her daddy proud. She told me once she was going to stay here in Lima with Frankenteen, get married have kids the whole nuclear family dream. I don't know for sure and I don't get why, but maybe she's going back to that"

Maybe after the whole baby plan turning to dust with Rachel's interference she was reverting back to the only thing she knew.

"Wait, what? She thinks Finn is the answer to a happy life"

"Yeah, basically"

"But, she doesn't need him" Rachel pointed out the obvious "she doesn't need anyone" she added, taking herself out of any equation too

"You don't need to tell me that"

While Rachel's mind wandered to worry, to Quinn, she didn't see the girl herself come through the front door with the boy who was still her boyfriend. Santana saw them though, as Puck let them in, she really couldn't believe she hadn't broken up with him yet... she really hoped Quinn wasn't back tracking.

When Santana noticed the object of Rachel's affections looking their way, she couldn't help it when an idea came to mind. It was the scheming bitch in her, and either way what she had planned would stir some trouble, maybe even help Rachel out.

Santana looked Rachel dead in the eye and with a very serious tone said "Don't read anything into this"

"Wait, wha-" her words and thoughts were cut off as Santana crashed her lips against Rachel's, even though she was shocked by the action Rachel couldn't help but relax into the kiss. Her eyes drifted shut as she enjoyed it. Santana didn't keep this simple either, she put everything into it as she slid her tongue across Rachel's bottom lip, making Rachel part her lips enough for her to take the kiss further, pushing her tongue inside and letting it dance with the shorter girls, not exactly like Rachel had earlier requested.

Quinn couldn't believe what she was seeing, sure she'd seen Rachel make out with many girls when they went out with the skanks over the summer, but now knowing the shorter girl had strong feelings for her, or just presuming Rachel did, made what she was doing with Santana turn her stomach.

When Santana finally released Rachel she lowly said "Wow, I've never kissed anyone with a tongue piercing before" Santana smirked, mainly satisfied at the state she'd left Rachel in "Q doesn't know what she's missing" she added with a slight flicker of the eyes towards the front door to where Quinn had been a moment ago.

'_Quinn'_ Rachel's mind yelped, was she here? She looked towards the door in time to see Quinn dragging Finn down the hallway off the living room. Worried Quinn had got the wrong idea, but not sure why it mattered, Rachel rushed after them. She pushed past Puck and Sam and got to the end of the hallway in time to see Quinn drag Finn into the downstairs bathroom.

"Shit" she seethed to herself. She cautiously approached the door, debating whether to turn around, walk way or burst through the door and stop them from doing something gross in there.

When she heard clear voices and not just noises happening on the other side of the door she felt some relief. She should have left, she should have gone back to the rest of the group but she couldn't leave Quinn so she ended up sliding her back down the wall to the floor, and hugging her knees to her chest, and waiting.

.

As Santana watched Rachel rush away she caught someone else watching her. Brittany was still, she'd stopped dancing when she saw Santana kiss Rachel.

Santana bowed her head as she swallowed her nerves, then she looked back up to the blue eyed girl still watching her with an unreadable expression.

Santana took the few brave steps closer, it was time to do the only thing that was important now that she was out and make it official with Brittany before she lost her "Britt, can we go talk somewhere private?"

Brittany just looked un sure "Is this a good talk or a bad talk?"

"A good talk" Santana reassured her, at least she thought it was a good thing they were going to talk about

On that positive note Brittany was comfortable to take Santana's hand and let the raven haired girl take her away.

.

"Quinn, why did you drag me to the bathroom?" Finn sounded like he was waiting for something to happen. And something was about to happen, Quinn was just taking a second to compose herself and sort all the words out in her head

"I just wanted to talk to you and I was going to wait till tomorrow when no one was around but I can't wait any longer, so I just bought us here so we could talk"

"O-kay" Finn said slowly "What's this about?"

"Its about us, our... relationship" she leant on the counter behind her that held the sink while Finn had his back to the door perpendicular to her "Look, we tried right? I just don't think this is going to work out"

"I thought everything was okay, we have fun" he smiled simply at her

"Yeah... it's just, I thought I was ready to be your girlfriend, but I'm not"

"We've only been out on a couple of dates, maybe you haven't given us enough time yet" he said softly

But they'd tried this all before, and the last break up had been on gentle terms, so it shouldn't have been too hard to just pick up where they left off again. Or at least after a couple of weeks to be back where they'd been before, they already knew each other so well"

"I thought you'd grown up, that you'd gained a little maturity over the years but I still feel like this is freshman year and I'm under pressure to be your dutiful girlfriend"

"What are you talking about? I am grown up, I don't pressure you" he said frantic and wide eyed, not liking what he was being accused of.

"Maybe not to my face but you talked about me in the locker room, you told all the guys I wasn't putting out"

"It's just guy chat" he was raising his voice as if it would help get the point across better.

"It's hurtful, and immature" she bit back, she felt stupid for believing the boys in the football team might actually grow up by the time they reached senior year.

"So you're breaking up with me for something all the guys do, it means nothing when we say it" that wasn't good enough though, they shouldn't have said it in the first place.

"It doesn't mean nothing to me when you talk about me like that, is that all I am, someone you hope to have sex with so you can talk to all the guys about it"

"No, I mean like you're my girlfriend so maybe-"

"Don't you dare say another word" she spat disgusted, but she felt vulnerable and used too, and she hadn't even gone that far with him "You don't make me feel important, you make me feel like some toy that you can put down when you're bored of it-" when she saw the dumbstruck brow furrow on his face she realised her metaphor wasn't getting through too well "It's over Finn, I don't feel this is a real relationship, and you haven't just hurt me, you hurt my friends too-"

"Is this about Rachel, are you gay too?"

"What? No, why would you think that?"

"What else am I supposed to think when we get here and you see Rachel and Santana kissing, and then you drag me in here to break up with me"

"It's got nothing to do with her, it's about you and me and we're not right for each other, its not going to work Finn, so let's just stop here"

"So that's it, you're not going to even try, you're just going to give up"

"I've tried Finn, and no matter how hard I've tried to feel for you... I just don't, deep down I don't, not the way I should" not the way she should have felt for him if she really wanted to spend forever with him "I just don't... _feel_" she sighed

"Fine, I give up too, you're a crap girlfriend anyway, you never made me feel important it was always about a reputation or to look good for your parents. So I'm done with you" he spat as he stepped up close to her, making her feel small and vulnerable. She avoided his gaze as he spoke lowly "I don't even know why we started dating again after you cheated on me with Puck"

He then yanked the bathroom door open and stormed out, he didn't see Rachel on his left as he was turning right, straight back to the living room then out the front door.

Quinn sighed, wishing that had gone smoother but at the same time she felt relief, she'd done the right thing. When she reached the door way she noticed Rachel sitting on the floor to the left of the door "Well, there goes my ride home" she joked, getting Rachel to smile up at her

"You could always stay the night, if you want" she offered with the same humour.

"Thanks but I think I'll be okay, its not too far to my house, I live pretty close" she kept the joke up, that she only lived next door, as she closed the door behind her and stepped round Rachel so she could join her friend on the floor "Did you hear all that?" she asked shyly, while she kept her head bowed a little

"Parts" Rachel shrugged it off "You okay?" in Rachel's opinion Quinn was already okay, and better, she was better off without _him._

"Yeah" she didn't feel like she'd lost anything really, but she did feel out on a ledge with nothing to hold onto right now. The baby plan was gone and now her back up, what was she supposed to do now. Rachel nudging her in the shoulder with her own reminded her she really wasn't alone

"Everything will be okay" Really the brunette wanted to be jumping for joy; Fuinn was over, almost as soon as it started, but the hurtful things Finn had left one, the last ones he uttered to Quinn before storming out soured the moment.

"Yeah I know" Quinn agreed as she nodded sadly

Oh how Rachel wished she could be the only one to make Quinn smile, to be the only one that mattered to her, she'd never hurt her like Finn or Puck had. The brunette quickly chastised herself for being so selfish

"I should have never started dating him again" Quinn muttered into their silence. The noise from the rest of the glee club and the music was mere background noise, everything was to Rachel when Quinn was around "I just thought it would be how it was before, before the summer" she laughed lightly at herself, Rachel didn't "but kinda more grown up... he hasn't though... it's all so stupid" she breathed the last part, shamefully

Rachel leant closer to Quinn, in an attempt to comfort her like a friend "No I get it, you wanted what you had before but a little more adult"

"Yeah" Quinn agreed, amazed Rachel had understood so easily... then again the person she'd been speaking to lately wasn't the brightest "I thought everything would work out this time but after what he did to Santana. She's my friend even if we haven't been close lately. When you said in glee yesterday that you got to out yourself I realised that... well he could have done that to you, or Kurt"

"Kurt doesn't hide it so easily though" Rachel laughed

Quinn chuckled a little too "No, but Finn could have hurt anyone... I thought Santana was strong but she... I don't know, look how it turned out"

"Hey its okay, she actually spoke to me earlier and it wasn't just spiteful" Rachel said with playful surprise, trying to keep the mood light hearted

"Really" Quinn actually met Rachel's eyes "I know you to talked but I can't imagine she was nice"

"She was okay... Santana's okay" Rachel shrugged lightly

Quinn smiled to herself, maybe Rachel and Santana could form some sort of friendship if they were starting to tolerate one another. Then she remembered why she still had a niggling at the pit of her stomach "Um Rach? When I got here you and Santana were... um"

"Kissing?" Rachel cringed "Yeah I don't know what came over her" Rachel nervously tucked the pink strand of hair behind her ear "She was probably drunk or something, or it was a dare, I dunno she's had a long day"

"Oh right... do you like her?" Quinn asked cautiously as she kept her eyes on the wall opposite

Rachel was quick to scoff and exhale an over the top laugh "no, definitely not. Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering, I was going to warn you that she's pretty set on Brittany, I wouldn't want you getting heart broken or anything" she muttered

Rachel just gazed softly at the side of the blondes head _'If only you knew'_ she sighed internally "Quinn, can I ask you something?" the brunette punk suddenly asked

The blonde looked up and back to her friend "Yeah"

"Would you.., um... are you really okay?" she chickened out "after what Finn said"

"Yeah" Quinn actually sounded convincing "What he said just confirmed he's not right for me" Rachel nodded to herself in subtle agreement. After a pause Quinn surprised Rachel by saying "I'm sorry"

"You don't need to apologise"

"No I do, I'm sorry, you were right, I don't want to go backwards" so finally some sense had been knocked into her "You see I had this plan"

"I know" Rachel stopped her, not wanting any more imagery of Quinn with Finn put in her head "Santana told me" she added as explanation

"You must think I'm so stupid" Quinn breathed, embarrassed as she tried to move away from the other girl

"Of course not Quinn" Rachel comfortingly put her arm round Quinn's shoulders to hold her there gently.

Quinn couldn't help it when she tensed up at the contact. Before today she wouldn't have been over thinking, If Rachel had feelings for her was this more than just comfort- No, she couldn't think like that, Santana already told her Rachel wouldn't do that... not if she really cared.

Quinn finally relaxed, she leant into Rachel, placing her head on the brunettes shoulder like she had done so many times before. She didn't realise that Rachel had been holding her breath when she'd tensed up, but when Quinn relaxed Rachel was able to breathe again.

"I just needed a plan to fall back onto after you talked me out of the other one and I-I didn't know what to do" she told herself not to cry, not at a time like this, it was pathetic

"You just need a new plan Quinn" Rachel said softly as she rested her own head onto Quinn's "a better one. Dream big not small"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I would like to point out that song Rachel 'sang' is from a puppet show, here in the UK, called mongrels, (I stress that it's an adult show, before anyone (else) misunderstands). I couldn't actually find the lyrics so... yeah I tried to write them from what I could hear, the best I could<strong>

**The song is called 'Everybody loves a lesbian' check it out (I think it's funny but maybe it's just my sense of humour) Youtube /watch?v=x5zsxfhAh6Q**

**Anyway, let me know what you think...**


	12. I Still Believe

**Thanks for reviewing since the previous chapter: lemon-rind, aquarius127, YourInnate, TheCdKnight **(Thank you! I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was being said at that point I thought it was an unofficial shortened phrase for Catholic :S yes, I feel like a fool now, thanks again :) )**, musicwolf89, ivory19110, mythic-lionheart, Musicfutbolfan6, Alexxrw, Carcar234, iamirreplazable, FaberryBRA, Cassisio, General Mac, TrustInFaith, kutee and LoveSKINS94.**

**Also, I realised maybe I made Leroy a little too irresponsible... but I didn't really notice, If I'm honest that's sort of the parenting (buying alcohol for the kid rather than them acquiring it illegally) that my parents and a few of my friend's parents used to go by when we were still in school. And they'd rather we were safe in one of their houses than on the streets or up the park getting plastered :/ anywho... on with the chapter.**

**Posted: 9/3/13**

* * *

><p><span>I Still Believe<span>

It was another mid day Glee club meeting, one that Mr Schue had called last minute as he had something to tell them. Really by now they should have been thinking about sectionals, it was in a week or so, so most of the club hoped he'd finally let them know who was doing what for sectionals.

Quinn wasn't thinking about that though, she was wondering where the hell Rachel was. The seat next to her sat vacant and waiting for the brunette. Quinn already had a strange sense of déjà vu when she heard gossip in the halls earlier, another ambush on Rachel. She hoped it wasn't true, and if it was she hoped Rachel wasn't seriously hurt. For a moment her heart was in her throat as she thought of her best friend lying somewhere unconscious, or in an ambulance on the was to the ER and no one had let Quinn know.

All over the top dramatic ramblings from her head died when the little punk walked through the door. Quinn was relieved but then suspicious in the way Rachel's hair hung over half her face, and the fact Rachel didn't even make eye contact with her as she stepped up the risers to take her seat next to Quinn... like a guilty puppy.

She kept her head away, her hair still forming a curtain as Quinn just watched suspiciously. Rachel could feel Quinn's eyes burning a hole in her head. That's when she felt someone move her hair, she looked shocked at Quinn as the blonde tucked Rachel's loose hair behind her ear. She heard Quinn's quick intake of breath and saw her eyes widen

"What happened?" she asked, more than just concerned

Another split lip and a break in the skin under her eye which would have been caused by a fist colliding with her cheek bone. "Nothing really" she shrugged

Quinn could only imagine what had gone down for Rachel to end up like this "Are you okay?" she knew Rachel wouldn't share unless she wanted to so she didn't bother asking. "Maybe you should see the nurse" she suggested

"I already did" Rachel told her quietly. Most of the rest of the club were already in the room, sitting in their little groups. Kurt and Mercedes gossiping on the front row, Tina, Mike and Artie on their front row corner together. Sam and Puck sat back row too, far from where Quinn had picked they sit and Blaine took a seat on the middle row, almost invisible to the group. "I spent last period in the nurses office with an ice pack stuck to my face, I'll be fine" Rachel reassured her.

"Rach... you got to speak about Figgins to this" Quinn said carefully as she held the side of Rachel's face, she ran a thumb over the cut under the brunettes eye making her wince "Sorry" she retracted her hand, not just because Rachel winced though, she'd just suddenly realised what she was doing.

"It's okay" Rachel mumbled.

"You really should talk to someone though Rach, it's not right, they can't keep getting away with this" she didn't want her _best friend_ hurt.

"I give as good as I get" Rachel just shrugged "and I really deserved some of it... maybe not the unfairly pinning me down again part, but I guess a couple of those punches were earned" she cringed then winced as screwing her face up caused pain.

"What did you do?" Quinn's concerned tone quickly evaporated and was replaced by that low accusing one.

"Well..." Rachel cringed "I might have told him to go screw his mom, then said that that would actually be a bad idea because she wasn't very good"

"Rachel" she slapped the brunette in the bicep with the back of her hand "You're such a boy"

'_If I was a boy you might actually go out with me'_ Rachel mind muttered sourly, while her mouth managed a more whiny playful approach "Hey you can't hit the injured"

Quinn just shook her head as her gaze dropped down. That's when she noticed Rachel's bruised knuckles... she really had landed a few punches herself, then. Why was she so determined to always fight them though? "I wish you'd be more careful" Quinn told her carefully as she picked up Rachel's hand and inspected the bruises. The brunettes hand was cold and clammy probably from having an ice pack on it for at least half an hour.

As Finn stepped through the door to join the group, he immediately looked to Quinn. They'd broken up last Friday, it was Monday now, and they were yet to have any type of awkward conversation. He stepped up the risers to take a seat a couple over from Blaine when he noticed something _'What the hell? Quinn and Rachel are holding hands, she only broke up with me Friday!'_ he slowly lowered himself onto his chosen seat but his eyes never left the girls and the fact they were _'Holding hands! She can't have moved on already... I didn't think Quinn was a slut'_

Brittany and Santana were last to arrive they took the seats directly in front of Quinn and Rachel. They both noticed the little hand holding going on too. The pair sat down then turned in their seats to face the non couple "Aww sweet, you two are holding hands" Santana commented with a usual bitch smirk on her face

Quinn was quick to drop Rachel's hand and miss the disappointment on the tough little brunette face "No we weren't I was just checking Rachel's injuries" she lamely pointed to the bruising on Rachel's hand

"Oh right" Santana suddenly sounded more sympathetic. She looked to Rachel and said "Uh... thanks for helping Britt out earlier"

"What happened?" Quinn asked suspiciously as she looked between the three other girls

"It was nothing" Rachel growled out with a glare, not wanting to soil her bad girl reputation anymore already. It didn't work though, Brittany completely missed any warning signs and went for the kill.

"Oh one of the football guys saw me kissing San in her car this morning, then after 3rd Azimio and his friends tried talking to me and they got a bit close and started making gross suggestions so... yeah Rachie showed up and tried to get rid of them" she smiled then it faded as she relived earlier that day "... then it got bad so I went to find San"

"By the time I got there, there were two jocks on the floor and another two pinning Berry to a locker while Azimio took a few swings" Santana cringed a little at the memory and at the injuries on Rachel's face. God know what her abdomen would look like as that's where Azimio had landed the most blows. Santana made a mental note to not leave Brittany's side ever again... and maybe not let Rachel wander round by herself either; strength was definitely in numbers.

Quinn was still a little suspicious that these two were just in on a scheme to make Rachel look better, but when she looked back to Rachel and the way she suddenly looked uncomfortable at the praise, she doubted that idea too.

It seemed the jocks had found that the only way they could actually win was to fight unfairly, at least they were learning. Abby had been Rachel's opposite, she liked street fighting, and anything she could get on TV. She'd also loved to watch people free running but never tried herself. Rachel had given it a go but all she'd learnt to do in the end was climb. And her fighting style was unofficial, she'd just watched everything her sister used to watch, trying to relate to her like she was still there.

"So you didn't say all that stuff to Azimio, you were just protecting Brittany?" Quinn had to ask to get the story straight.

Rachel casually shrugged "I still said those things, that's why he hit me, but yeah I might have been there because I saw them surrounding Brittany"

"You saved me Rach" the blue eyed blonde smiled brightly.

"I wouldn't go that far Britt" Rachel told her softly.

"Thanks, for looking out for her" It was Santana's turn to be thankful. Well if Santana was showing gratitude it must have been true, Quinn thought to herself.

"I'm looking about for you too Lopez" Rachel told the other girl with some sincerity, the same sincerity she'd shown before the weekend when trying to help Santana

"Well, just thanks" Santana mumbled just as their teacher finally joined them.

"Right guys, I have a surprise for all of you" he placed a stack of papers and his bag on top of the piano before taking a pen out of the satchel and going over to the board to write something down

A thousand sarcastic comments were on the tips of Both Santana and Rachel's tongues but neither said a word. If they had they would have started to realise just how similar they really were.

When the teacher stepped away from the board there was a collective groan from round the room, making Rachel actually take note of what he'd written across the middle of the white board:

_Assembly_

"Mr S, we should be concentrating on sectionals" Tina timidly spoke up

"Exactly" he said proudly, as he snapped the lid back on the pen. The glint in his eye suggested he had more up his sleeve. "But I've talked to Figgins and we're going to do an Assembly tomorrow-"

"Tomorrow!" The two divas gasped in unison, merely verbally relaying the rest of the room's thoughts anyway "We might be ready by then, but the rest of these guys? Really Mr S we need more time" Mercedes added as she and Kurt smirked to each other

"Oh come on guys, you've had shorter deadlines than this to put something together" he started clipping and unclipping the cap from the dry erase pen, maybe he was anxious now that the group were all staring or glaring at him "And I've already got the song sorted for you guys" that's what the papers were for then "And the song you guys perform tomorrow you'll also perform at sectionals next week.

"Please no more disco" Quinn groaned lowly from next to Rachel

"Or any hip hop, or Journey" Santana mumbled back over her shoulder

'_Journey'_ The word reminded Rachel of what Quinn had told her when telling her tall tales about the glee clubs adventures... she was normally a little drunk when she got that reminiscent.

Thanks to her wandering mind she actually missed Mr Schuster's song suggestion, and only heard the others sigh or mumble under their breath. He then started talking about routines and outfits as he kept removing and re-clipping that damn pen lid. The brunette punk had a head ache already thanks to some meat head's boulder sized fists.

"Mr Schue" she suddenly said, interrupting his excited and unconvincing rambles. She stepped down the risers round Brittany and past Kurt and headed straight for the teacher. He just looked at her half intrigued by what might happen... half worried for the same reason... she wouldn't directly threaten a teacher would she? She snatched the pen out of his hand "First you gotta stop doing that, I got a headache and I'm about three little clicks from shoving this up your nose" she held the pen in front of his face. Okay, so she would threaten him. "Now I'd like to know why you think an assembly is such a good idea when the past two have been such failures"

"Hey!" Kurt was up out of his seat too "we sung just fine, everything was blown out of proportion" when Rachel turned to face him he was waving a finger in her face

"Look you guys an assembly is a good idea, besides we have two class president candidates in here, it would be good to get out there and remind the school of who you are?"

"Who's running for that?" Rachel asked, getting a few confused looks. Was Rachel really that oblivious?

"Really, you haven't seen the posters?" Blaine actually opened his mouth, with disbelief in his words "you can't miss them"

"Brittany and Kurt are running" Mr Schue told Rachel... and anyone else in the room who might not have known. "Anyway, whatever you guys say we're doing the assembly tomorrow morning"

"Well then" Rachel interrupted again, remembering her original point "We shouldn't do your suggestion"

"Excuse me" people had tried to get him to listen before and failed, he wouldn't back down now. If there was something he though he knew, it was song choices. "I've got a perfectly good song picked out that will fit our leads very well"

"Exactly you seem to have a very minimalist plan picked out already" he just felt like she was taunting him. He tried to reach for his pen still in her hand but she stepped back out of his reach

"Mr S, we're wasting time, she's wasting our time. Sectionals is really close and we haven't got a set list, I don't think we should wing it like we did last year. So lets just try the song out and see how it goes" Finn, trying to fit in like always, spoke up breaking the staring contest that had just started between student and teacher

"Or the year before that. Sure we got through but I think we need to be serious this time and show all the competition that we're not a joke... After Finn's mishap at nationals last year" Santana sneered, happy to remind the group of why they'd failed.

The tall boy bowed his head shamefully. He hadn't done it deliberately, he just messed up his steps and ended up ripping a curtain down during the last part of their performance. When Rachel heard the story she could only imagine how spectacular of a finale it was.

"Wait you guys wing it?" okay that only reinforced the idea Rachel had "If you wanna go to nationals you should be working on your Regionals set list right now"

"Why would we do that if we don't know if we'll even be going yet?" Sam asked

"Why wouldn't you be going, you've got through the past two times. Don't you believe in yourselves?" she scoffed, looking from person to person.

"Rachel, please sit down" Mr Schue tried the polite approach so he could get their attention back and start on their plans for the assembly.

He gently placed a hand on her shoulder which she violently shrugged away "No, I'm trying to talk to the group"

"Well we're trying to complete a task right now, we don't need you interfering or trying to sabotage anything by distracting the group" so he still didn't trust her. She sighed to herself, not even sure why she was doing this anymore. Quinn... that was why.

She slowly turned back to her teacher "Mr Schue, for five minutes do you think you could allow me to try and make a valid point or two, and not question my motives"

Something had snapped within Rachel just now, she couldn't take it and old Rachel was going to shine through the cracks in her sister shield. This club was a mess, not a fun dysfunctional family like Quinn had described but a bitter group that didn't communicate well. Some members didn't even have a voice. Rachel was pretty sure today was the first time she'd heard Blaine or Tina speak... well at least when they were in glee club.

Outside this choir room Rachel had become a voice for the bullied... though that hadn't been her plan when she arrived in lima. But with that title she felt like she could be a voice for the un heard people in this room

"Well... I guess I can give you a few minutes" the teacher relented, he officially stepped back to give this punk a chance, much to the disgust of a few members.

She didn't thank him, she just turned her attention back to the club "When I first came to Lima I made friends with Quinn-"

"We know" Santana interjected "Get to your point"

"I will" Rachel snapped, simply annoyed at being interrupted "Anyway, Quinn said the first number the five originals in here did, was Journey's Don't stop Believin' and you were proud of that, hell it got Mr Schue to do a 180 in his attitude, he chose to stay here" she nodded at Quinn to make sure she was remembering the story right. The blonde just nodded in response "and you took it to regional's that year" she continued "I know it didn't work out but that was your starting point and you learnt so much, you learnt to kick it up a gear for the next year"

"What's your point?" Mercedes was now curious. How was bringing back more bad memories supposed to help?

"Well simply that that's what you told yourselves at the start: Don't stop believing" she looked particularly at the two divas first, then to each member in turn "Did you? Did you stop believing in yourselves? I came here knowing all the stories Quinn told me, about you guys and then, I get here and what I've seen over the past couple of months... I wonder if you still believe in yourselves, you're so dysfunctional, there's no fun in here, no family" she turned her back to the room and went to the white board, she then uncapped Mr Schue's blue board pen that was still in her hand. Carelessly using the sleeve on her jacket she wiped the board clean of the word teacher had put there and wrote her own.

When she stepped back everyone had a chance to see what she had written. Three words sat central one after the other:

_I  
>Still<br>Believe_

"You need to find your heart again" she clipped the cap back on the pen as she addressed them "you need to find the reason you came here, that joy, that fun" she surrendered the pen back to the teacher, he took it thankfully like she'd returned his best friend "Stand in front of the school and say you still believe. And that what they've done" she pointed to the door symbolising everyone not in this room who's ever hurt them "That what Azimio and his little gang have done hasn't stopped you, or crushed your spirit. And you should say it the best way you all know how. Sing"

"What would you know about spirit and team work, you don't care about anyone but yourself"

"Shut up wheezy, what Berry's saying makes sense" Santana snapped before turning her attention to a girl who she'd soon be calling friend

"So what song are you suggesting we sing?" Kurt asked but he didn't want to sound impressed or inspired

Rachel smiled smugly, feeling she'd broken through a few barriers already "It's written on the board"

"And who's going to sing it?" Mercedes gave in too to ask

"We all are" shock horror for a few at those words, excitement for others.

"Okay then Rachel" Mr Schue conceded too "Lets try it your way"

.

It wasn't long before Mr Schue had song sheets for everyone to work from and was arranging for a few of them to only take solo lines. Rachel was almost beginning to feel like she was herself again, but not completely comfortable to be there anymore.

Everything was going amazingly smoothly, everyone was at least giving this idea a chance, when they were disturbed by a devil in a red track suit.

"Now now Will, don't tell me you're trying again to recruit new members, I already told you no one wants to join your little band of losers" she just strolled in like she owned the place... nothing new there then.

"Nice Sue" Will rolled his eyes "We're busy so could you just-"

"Oh I know William, you plan to put on another act of travesty tomorrow morning, and I just got to tell you, that doesn't sit too well with me" she leant against the piano "And it won't with Figgins once he sees things my way"

"I've already arranged things with Figgins, its too late for him to change his mind anyway-"

"These assemblies that always fail to recruit new members should be banned" she didn't care for what he had to say anyway, but after how the past two assemblies had gone, this one could not happen "like those shoes with the wheels on them. I slapped a kid wearing them round the back of the head the other day, he rolled right down the corridor and through a screen door" her breath caught, stopping her from getting any more words out as she laughed, remembering what happened "Actually forget that" she waved dismissively as she gained composure.

The glee kids all glanced at one another, worried, about the coach's story.

"Sue I will not have this, Figgins has already given me the go ahead, you're not going to stop this" he growled determined. He needed to mark his territory in front of his club.

"Will, Figgins, doesn't know what he's doing, we all know this school ran better when I was principle" she was half right, some situations were definitely handled better when she was in charge but not all of them. She seemed to care more. "I cannot let another disaster by your excuse of a club happen, no matter what you try Schue, they always end up the same"

"But we have Rachel this time" the short brunette was more than shocked than anyone else, even the two divas, to hear him say her name, and with such a positive tone "She's leading out project" two voices tried to protest but they choked on their own shock "And she hasn't been here the past two years, so it will be different"

"You really think one person can change things for this pathetic little club" she sneered down at the curly haired man.

He took another step closer to her, they were almost literally butting heads "Yes, I do, I believe a lot can change"

...

After an exhausting, extended day (a half hour of which was wasted by Schue and Sue arguing) Quinn finally got home. It had been a weird day. First Rachel standing up for Brittany and getting hurt for her, then Rachel again showing she cared in glee club... and then Rachel, yet again, actually leading the group in the task after battle of the teachers. Coach in the end had agreed they could only continue if Rachel organised everything.

She wasn't sure what the Coach's point was, probably just so she could prove Mr S wrong about one addition to the group being able to change it.

Anyway she was finally home. She was so late that Judy was already there when she got there

"Quinnie you're home" Judy smiled as her daughter joined her in the kitchen.

Quinn just cringed as usual at her mother's greeting "mom please don't call me that" she sighed as she took a seat at the kitchen table in the corner. She'd offer to help her mom with the cooking but she really was tired. "How was work?"

"It was good" she smiled another real smile. Seeing Judy like that just made Quinn relax. She didn't feel so bad about her latest plans then... to go to college, out of state. "I'm so glad Leroy helped me get that job, I've made so many friends" she was currently working with Leroy, well not directly with him but in the same office and their work would cross paths occasional. It was just more social than the estate agents she's worked for before. She didn't like the front desk scene there that she shared with a much younger girl; it just made her feel inferior. Finally things were feeling right, Judy felt like she belonged somewhere, and the money was still good. "How was school, how come you're so late?"

"Oh Mr Schue sprung a surprise assignment on us. We have to perform in the assembly tomorrow morning" she sighed "Rachel came up with... well it was pretty inspiring, she said some stuff and gave us a song and we worked pretty hard for a couple of hours so we'd be ready for tomorrow..." she trailed off as her brain started working overtime as her head rested in her hand.

"Quinn" the younger blonde didn't even blink "Quinn, what are you thinking about?" she asked a little snappier getting her attention

"Huh?" Quinn flinched "oh uh, nothing really"

"Oh nothing, made you day dream like that" her mom raised an eyebrow in a familiar fashion "What's wrong?"

"Well" she sat up straighter as Judy joined her at the kitchen table with some coffee "nothing's wrong but... well, it's about Rachel"

Judy took a sip from her cup of coffee to hide her failed attempt to hide a smile "Oh, what about her?"

"Sometimes she's not... not exactly the same as when I met her, she's-" _'Sweet? Caring' _"-Protective, o-of her friends" she added quickly to clarify "I mean she told me she got beaten for just... well, the usual reasons she has with half the football team... but it wasn't. She got in a brawl with them for standing up for Brittany and Santana"

The smile dropped from her face, that's not quite what she thought Quinn might want to talk about "I thought Santana was still head cheerleader why would she have a problem with the football boys?" things in high school never changed, just the people did, so of course Judy already knew the usual hierarchy

"Oh um" Quinn fidgeted in her seat momentarily "Santana, well she's dating Brittany now, after Santana got outed and... yeah" she shrugged as if she didn't care, wasn't happy for her friends in case Judy disapproved.

"That's so sweet" Judy surprised Quinn by cooing.

"What!" she coughed, did her own mother really just say that about two girls?

"I'm so happy for them" she smiled innocently as she wrapped her hands round the coffee mug to warm them "young love is wonderful Quinn, all that innocence"

'_Yeah... Santana and Brittany are far from innocent'_ "But they're two girls" Quinn double checked in case Judy had misheard

"Honey, I'm best friends with a gay man, do you really think any of that bothers me?" one the bluntness was a shocker too. It was too much for one day

"Oh well I guess not" she muttered conclusively.

"Back to Rachel, you're worried about her" Judy prompted

Oh right, the whole point of this conversation "It's just, she seems like a different person sometimes. When I first met her she was just... full of herself, she" _'Flirted with me__' _"She didn't care about anything"_ _'Except me, she never let me get hurt'__ "And... I don't know, just today in glee club she wasn't herself, she was just so enthusiastic about the assignment"

"What's wrong with that?" the mother furrowed her brow not understanding Quinn's problem

"I just worry, I know she's hiding something, and even if I asked she won't tell me. It's like she's got a dual personality sometimes and I'm worried mom" she peered up from the cup in her hands to her mother. She'd had her suspicions about what Judy knew when she'd started dropping hints about dripping Finn, it was around the same time she started complementing the punk too "Do you know something?"

"Look if Rachel has a secret its for a good reason" the older blonde said dismissively. She was about to escape, go back to cooking when Quinn caught her wrist, desperation in the tightness of her grip

"What do you know, is she okay, is she one medication or something?" Judy was surprised to see such worry in her daughters hazel eyes. Which only led her back to her earlier assumption when this conversation had started.

"Just know she's okay, she's not sick, maybe just troubled but it's nothing to worry about"

"Oh my god, you know something what happened?" Quinn leant in, eager to get an answer

"Quinn I really can't say" Judy bit down on her lip to keep her secrets inside

"Mom, if this is serious I should really know, is it safe for me to be her friend?"

"Of course it is, if it weren't do you think I'd still let you hang around with her" she wasn't _that_ irresponsible... well at least not recently

"Oh right" Quinn mumbled in understanding, before she perked up again "Please tell me. I'll pretend you didn't tell me anything"

"Quinn" Judy warned lowly.

"Mom, please. She's my best friend" _'She got me out of my funk at the beginning of the summer, she made me go through a phase, she looked out for me, she made me feel worth something, she's important to me' _her mind screamed but she didn't feel the need to say it out loud, just admit it to herself and accept it, Rachel was important. "Please, I need to know"

"I'm really sorry honey, but its not my business, if Rachel or even Leroy wish to share that's fine, but its not up to me" she put her foot down on this. This wasn't run of the mill gossip this was a catastrophic life altering event, and she had no business telling Quinn. She'd already assessed everything for herself she still trusted Rachel to look out for her daughter and not put her in any danger

"It's that serious?" Quinn couldn't imagine what had happened... was it the same thing that split the Berry family?

"It _was_" but the actual trigger to everything else was in the past and from what Judy saw Rachel was healing every day.

"So it's okay... safe to still be friends with her" Quinn double, or maybe triple checked.

"Yes, she-... she didn't harm anyone, and I still trust her to be your friend Quinn" Judy reassured her "Call this bad parenting but; I think you're good for each other"

The daughter chuckled lightly "Really? She took me underage drinking often, she got me to dye my hair and pierce my nose" she raised that sceptical eyebrow

"Honestly I was just relieved that the Ryan Seacrest tattoo was fake that I didn't care about the piercing and hair" Judy chuckled. Besides Quinn had managed to tick three 'ways to frighten your mother' from the unofficial list of thing parents don't want to see when their teen walks through the door in one go that day "and okay the underage drinking was bad but... isn't that the sort of thing kids your age are supposed to do" another light chuckle. Of course she hadn't been aware the first few times Rachel got Quinn to sneak out, but after getting to know Leroy and Rachel through Leroy she didn't want to dislike the girl.

...

The following morning and they only had time to run through everything once. Which settled fine with some as they were already nervous about this, and made excuses like there was such a thing as too much practice. Singing in front of people who appreciated their efforts, like at a competition, was okay, but singing in front of the school... well that was considerably different.

They were now gathered behind the back drop for the temporary stage in the gym.

Quinn had spent more time thinking about what could have possibly happened to Rachel that her mother wouldn't tell her about. Every scenario in her head was more impossible than the last. It had to be bad though, right?

Was it why Rachel seemed to change every now and then, was it why she only had one parent now?

Did any of it really matter? Rachel was still her friend, and nothing, not even the fact that Rachel had feelings for her, was going to change that.

That's when she found herself moving toward the brunette, not even thinking just doing. As soon as she was within reach she pulled the brunette to her in a friendly hug. She felt Rachel tense, but only momentarily before she relaxed into the hug wrapping her arms round Quinn's middle.

The noise from many students filing their way into the gym reminded Quinn of what she was doing, so she pulled away. Rachel was quick to let her go too, not wanting Quinn to ever feel trapped by her.

"Um" Rachel bowed her head shyly to the floor "What was that for?" Quinn was also glad to see Rachel's eye and lip weren't swollen from the attack yesterday.

"Just..." _'I know you're hurting and I hope one day you can confide in me the way I've shared with you and I just couldn't help myself _"thank you for pulling the group together again" she decided that was for the best

"Okay guys you better get into your places" Mr Schue said excitedly before quickly disappearing again.

"We'd better..." Rachel just nodded her head to the platform. Quinn just nodded too with a smile as they took their places

.

They all waited patiently for the few normal announcements that let them know the school was broke. Finally the curtains parted and they came face to face with the rest of the school. 13 against... too many to count, Rachel didn't like those odds, and if this went wrong they'd blame her.

Before they could count themselves in they all heard a few people whistling, and an impatient person calling for them to 'get on with it' but the one jeer that stood out was the not too distant and very clear yelling of: "You guys suck!"

They were all about to just imagine they never heard it when Rachel stepped forward and bought her microphone to her lips

"Hey" she snapped, looking straight out into the crowd to where she knew the jeer had come from, where she knew the coward still sit. She'd love to see them try and stand on that stage and attempt anything "save your breath" she told them, before lowly adding for all still to hear "You'll need it to blow up your girlfriend"

A few laughs and jeers at the culprit himself and a face palm from Mr Schue and they were finally ready to go.

Puck and Sam started playing their guitars together while Brad prepared to play the piano for later. The Band were also set up, Rachel wanted them included not the group singing to some CD played over the loud speakers. The band deserved some credit too.

Puck and Sam took the first verse together at the front two corners of the stage

_Hear ye, hear ye  
>Friends and Romans, countrymen<br>Hear ye, hear ye  
>Punks and folks and journeymen<br>Hear ye, hear ye  
>My sisters and my brethren<br>The time is coming near_

Blaine and Artie were paired up to take the next part. This song had become an experiment too, to find out who's voices could go with who's. It was worth trying any combination.

_Come ye, come ye  
>To soulless corporate circus tops<br>Come ye, come ye  
>To toilet circuit touring stops<br>Come ye, come ye  
>To bedrooms, bars and bunker squats<br>The sound is ringing clear_

The group joined together for more a chant. The song itself was supposed to be solo the entire way through but the message was shared.

_Now who'd've thought that after all  
>Something as simple<br>As rock 'n' roll would save us all?_

_Who'd've thought that after all  
>It was rock n roll<em>

_Hear ye, hear ye  
>Now anybody can take the stage<br>Hear ye, hear ye  
>And make miracles for minimum wage<em>

_Hear ye, hear ye  
>These folk songs for the modern age<br>Will hold us in their arms_

_Right here, right now  
>Elvis brings his children home<br>Right here, right now  
>You never have to feel alone<br>Right here, right now,  
>Teenage kicks and gramophones<br>We hold them in our hearts_

_Now who'd've thought that after all  
>Something as simple<br>As rock 'n' roll would save us all?  
>Who'd've thought that after all<br>It was rock n roll_

Puck was elected to take the first line, the rest of the choir echoing the first line in a chant after him.

_And I still believe (I still believe)  
>In the saints<br>Yeah, in Jerry Lee and in Johnny and all the greats_

They rotated their formation for Santana to take a turn as the lead, again everyone behind her repeating that they still believe.

_I still believe (I still believe)  
>In the sound<br>That has the power to raise a temple and tear it down_

Now for Sam, still with his guitar, to share the spotlight.

_And I still believe (I still believe)  
>In the need<br>For guitars and drums and desperate poetry_

And now Rachel, to rush the lines to belt the word out, to take centre stage by herself, something she hadn't done in what felt like such a long time but was just over a year.

_I still believe (I still believe)  
>That everyone<br>Can find a song for every time they've lost  
>And every time they've won<em>_  
><em>_So just remember, folks  
>We're not just saving lives<br>We're saving souls  
>And we're having fun<em>

There was nothing organised for the instrumental part, just some kid in the band showing his skills on a harmonica, while the glee kids made it their own, having fun as the song told them to, on the stage with un-choreographed dancing. Even Santana and Brittany shared a few light hearted moves as an official couple. Smiles adorned all their faces as they enjoyed themselves.

As the music calmed again they took places, classically forming two lines as Puck and Rachel stepped forward to sing the last few lines together.

_And I still believe  
>Now who'd've thought that after all<br>Something as simple  
>As rock 'n' roll would save us all?<br>Now who'd've thought, after all  
>Something so simple, something so small<em>_  
><em>_Who'd've thought that after all  
>It's rock n roll<em>_..._

It seemed impossible that it would happen with such a song. They normally tried to sell sex to their fellow pupils, today they just sold some fun... and they got a standing ovation

... maybe there was hope

* * *

><p><strong>The Song used was Frank Turner's I Still Believe<strong>

**Let me know what you think... :/**


	13. Wonder

**Thanks for reviewing the previous chapter: YourInnate, FaBAMF, Midwinternight, Musicfutbolfan6, Cassisio, LoveSKINS94, kutee, TrustInFaith, ivory19110, Guest, aquarius127, General Mac, Beanacre0, unshahzana and ayomoses21**

**Posted: 9/6/13**

* * *

><p><span>Wonder<span>

After last lesson and instead of going home Rachel was on her way to the extra Glee club meeting, for Quinn and no other reason. Sectionals was next week so she imagined this glee club meeting would run late, so her weekend would start late. But if she was spending time with her best friend, that was no problem.

When she got to the room, late as usual, she entered a void of eerie silence. Her confident footsteps slowed as she noted everyone looking lost, and Mr Schue looking very worried in the middle of the room. Rachel then noted that two of the front row seats were empty.

"What's up?" she broke the silence and got everyone's attention on her, all of them turning their heads at the same time to look straight at her "Okay, creepy" she muttered to herself at their bright eyed stares.

"Wheezy and Captain Kurt got themselves expelled" Santana said with bite in her tone.

"Suspended" Mr S corrected

"Why?" Rachel asked with a laugh in her voice.

"They rigged the school elections, in Kurt's favour and got caught" Tina explained quickly from her front row seat close to where Rachel still stood.

"Oh" Rachel chuckled at the idiocy of it all, rigging an election that deep down no one really cared about and gave the victor power of stupid social events that weren't even that important... well that was just Rachel's thoughts. She stepped up to the second row on the risers to take her seat next to Quinn, still noticing the way the teacher and a few others were watching her "Okay, why is everyone staring?" she asked as she stood by her chair and looked around at the group

"We've lost our best singers" Finn said, even he was getting the same idea as the others, seeing the same way and best way out of this even if he didn't like Rachel

"Wow they've got you brainwashed" she sighed as she sat down "They're not your best singers, and they're the worst leaders, more like dictators"

"No Finn has a point" Quinn interrupted those thoughts. The blonde could see the rest of the group silently encouraging and agreeing with where Quinn was going "We're one member short, and we haven't got the two who tend to lead us in these competitions... but we've got you Rachel"

The brunette shot her a worried glare "Oh no, we're not going there"

"You bought us together for the Assembly just the other day" Tina piped in

"Nah-ah not doing it, I don't even want to be in this stupid club" she grabbed her bag and stormed out, reminding herself of her old self.

Mr Schue just sighed and held his head. He'd already tried talking to the group about his plans for sectionals, but he'd barely got his first sentence out when half the group had thought to ask Rachel what they think they should do. It wasn't that they were incapable, just that they wanted some direction, and a leader who could keep them from ripping each other apart.

"Q, go talk to her" Santana told her old friend who sat in front of her

Quinn just scoffed, not bothering to look back "What am I going to say to make her change her mind?" the rest of the group sat silent with almost similar thoughts to the ones about to be worded

"I don't know" The Latina shrugged "trade sexual favours for her to stay or something"

"Santana!" Quinn turned sharply in her seat to glare at the other girl behind her

"What, we all know she likes you" she shrugged again "Even Finn knows that" that's just how obvious it was "you might as well use it to your advantage. Or in this case,_ our_ advantage"

Quinn sighed roughly, in irritation before too grabbing her bag and heading for the door.

"Are you going to have sex?" Brittany called making a few members of the club feel uncomfortable, including their teacher.

Quinn fought the rising blush in her cheeks at Brittany's usual unfiltered bluntness and kept her sights on finding her _friend._

...

It didn't take her long to find Rachel. Quinn went to the parking lot first to make sure Rachel's car was still there, but she didn't even get that far, she found the girl sitting on the steps in front of the main entrance.

When Rachel heard the approaching footsteps she had no doubt about who it was "Fine I'll do it" she said, surprising Quinn

"I haven't even asked you anything" she muttered as she took a seat next to the girl with the pink streak in her hair.

"I'll help the damn club"

"You will?" Quinn couldn't suppress the smile that tugged at her lips

"Yeah, I knew they'd send you. And there's no point me fighting you because..." she thought to herself for a moment _"as soon as you look at me, with those damn stunning eyes..."_ she then remembered she never finished her sentence. Her crazy mind chose some honesty "unfortunately I can't say no to you"

"... O-kay" Quinn said slowly. That was too easy, but with all she'd learnt about Rachel recently she wasn't sure why she was surprised, she did feel guilty though.

"Just... tell them I put up a fight and I didn't go down easy" she tried a playful jab.

"Why are you so against all this?" Quinn asked

"Because..." she groaned, irritated that she felt the need to tell Quinn so much all the damn time "remember when I told you I'd been there?"

"And you were worse than Mercedes and Kurt put together? Yeah you said"

"Exactly, I was... someone else, I was a nightmare, everyone knew that, it was no secret. And I was a loser. So yeah I don't want to be that person anymore, she was selfish and just- she just wasn't the greatest person"

"Rach, you're my best friend but you're not exactly a great person right now" Quinn chuckled to ease any tension she could cause with those words.

"I know that too..." Rachel replied with an agreeing chuckle "but I bring on that hate, and those fights deliberately, by doing things I shouldn't, and not doing what I want and was driven to do. This way it's my choice, and I feel I deserve whatever I get"

"That's the lamest thing I've ever heard" and one of the most confusing "I really wish you'd stop feeling so sorry for yourself"

"But I'm so good at it" she playfully nudged Quinn's side with her elbow.

"Well there are other things you're good at" she noticed Rachel smirk "You know what I mean" she stood up, needing to distance herself from the smirking punk for a moment "Now are you coming back to help us or what?"

"Fine" she groaned and held her hand out in the air. Quinn automatically grabbed it and helped pull the girl up so they could head back to the club meeting.

...

Quinn ended up at Rachel's house that evening, in Rachel's room, going through song ideas and choreography. Rachel had already suggested that they sing 'I still believe' again for sectionals, and the rest of the group were all more than happy with that idea as the song and very simple choreography, better known as 'walking around a stage', was still fresh in their minds.

It would need some tweaking to meet perfectionist Rachel's specifications, but before they could work on that they needed a second song. So that's what the two girls were doing now, trying to find options for a second song. Quinn was sat next to Rachel at the head of the bed, Rachel had her laptop on her lap as they searched through her itunes for the right song.

"I think I'm going to have to call an early meeting, Monday morning. Do you think that might work?" Rachel asked

"How early? Because San and Britt will have Cheerios practice" Quinn reminded her

"Oh right. I was thinking just an hour before class, then lunch time for sure, any frees we should meet up in smaller groups and after class. Sectionals is Wednesday we have four days and I'd say we should meet up this weekend but I'm pretty sure they'll murder me" she chuckled to herself

"Don't be so sure, they want to win this. Getting to nationals means a lot to all of them so maybe a full day Sunday, invite them all here" Quinn suggested making Rachel laugh again

"You really think they'd go for it?" she stopped scrolling through her playlists "Am I gonna have to play hostess?" she asked lowly

"Fine, we'll invite them to mine, I can set it all up" she took the laptop off Rachel's lap so she could sign into facebook and get the message out to the group.

"No invite them to mine" Rachel sighed, well she didn't want Quinn to have to do something she didn't feel like doing, especially for her "But you'll have to sort out the invite, I'm not fake friends with most of them"

"Really? I can find them all if you want" She offered as she started typing the group message.

"Half of them sent me the requests I just didn't see the point" Rachel yawned as she leant back against the head board.

Quinn shook her head with a matching sigh "You're not trying very hard to become all their friends"

"Like they really care" Rachel lazily put her hands behind her head and watched over Quinn's shoulder as she wrote her message to the glee club "Besides, look at all I've done, all I'm doing"

"Fair enough" Quinn shrugged just as she finished and sent the group message "wait... we're still a member short to actually qualify" she looked back at Rachel as she checked her maths "There's 13 of us but without Mercedes and Kurt that leaves 11"

"Crap" Rachel agreed as she counted to "where are we going to find someone at such short notice" she wondered aloud

"We've done it before" she pushed the laptop away to sit on the bed so they could both see the screen evenly "San will just have to threaten someone, probably jewfro, he creeps me out but he'll do anything if Santana gives a good enough threat"

"Wait..." Rachel's eyes lit up as she got her idea, Quinn turned to actually look at her

"What, what is it?"

"What about Mack? She can move" The brunette punk immediately noticed the way Quinn turned her nose up, making a disgusted face "I mean she's coordinated" Rachel corrected before she added lowly and unnecessarily "Though I guess the first thing isn't entirely wrong" she took the laptop back, meaning Quinn would have to sit next to her again

"I don't need to know that" Quinn grimaced while a fire burned in the pit of her stomach "I didn't even know she's gay" she muttered while she stayed where she was, leant forward, away from Rachel and avoiding eye contact

"She's not" Rachel told her, not sure what was making her share this with Quinn, but something inside her wanted to see Quinn's reaction. "She was just there and... it was nothing"

"Oh" Quinn didn't even care, she really didn't... so why did that information make her feel sick... she wasn't homophobic.

"It only happened a couple of times" and now Rachel wasn't sure why she was defending herself.

"I really don't need to hear all this" she had to stop herself, she wanted to leave, this wasn't the sort of things she liked to talk with her best friend about, especially about a mutual friend. So she forced herself to sit back instead, and return their attention to the task at hand "Do you think she'll do it... do you think she'll behave?"

"Yeah, she'll be fine" she shrugged "... She'll be a good girl because I'll pay her in booze and cigarettes"

"Any other favours to add to that list?" Quinn tried not to snap that too bitterly.

"No Quinn I'm not going to sleep with her again" she explained dryly while holding back some sort of hope that that was jealousy seeping from Quinn. Maybe the blonde girl just didn't like her best friends attention anywhere else "Why do you care anyway, jealous?"

"Yeah you wish" Quinn scoffed

"We still need a song, so let's just get on with this" Rachel said dismissively not wanting to push Quinn away with her teasing.

"Fine" Quinn sighed and folded her arms across her front while Rachel started to absentmindedly scroll through song lists and add a few to a spare playlist to consider later. The silence quickly became unbearable to the blonde, so she concocted a devious plan. She glanced at Rachel as she casually pulled the pillow she was leaning on out from behind her

Rachel was chewing her lip as she looked through the new playlist she'd just set up, already deciding which ones to dismiss when her world turned momentarily dark as her face was abused with a strike from a pillow. As light returned to her world she slowly looked to Quinn, mouth open in shock "You did not just do that"

"Uh, yeah I did" The blonde just smirked

"You're in so much trouble" Rachel casually moved her laptop over to her bedside table before returning her attention back to her devious friend. She reached behind her tightly gripping the corner of the pillow behind her

"Oh yeah? What you gonna do about it?" she raised a perfect eyebrow of mischief, only silently daring Rachel to retaliate.

"Declare war" she growled as she swung the pillow round and unleashed her own attack on Quinn, climbing onto her knees after a second to gain another upper hand

The blonde squeaked her laughter as she tried to defend herself, using the pillow that started it all as a shield. "Okay, I surrender" she yelped as she tried to crawl away on her knees, still using that first pillow as a shield

"You can't surrender" Rachel cried, showing no mercy.

"Says who?" she stopped for a second and furrowed her brow while holding her arm up catching and gripping Rachel's pillow in its swing before it hit her.

"The rules of war" Rachel told her matter-of-factly "You can't surrender in the middle of a battle only at the beginning"

She had a smile in her eyes as she let the next work fly from her mouth "Dork"

"Oh now you really are dead" The glint of mischief intensified as the cushioned onslaught and feeble escape continued.

"No, no stop, stop" Quinn laughed while her knee slipped and her wrist gave way causing her to fall onto her front "Please" she asked again, battling to stop herself laughing and trying to get Rachel to stop. When she rolled over to finally stop the pillow bashing she knocked Rachel's leg causing her to fall too, dropping her weapon and barely catching herself on both hands, either side of Quinn's head. "Please" Quinn breathed, the word's meaning holding confusion for both girls, while she felt the air disappear from her lungs as she stared up into brown eyes, very close brown eyes

She was trapped, well technically Quinn was trapped beneath her, but as soon as Rachel looked into those Hazel eyes she was frozen. She held her breath as Quinn reached up and tucked a strand of Rachel's hair behind her ear, it must have been tickling Quinn's face. There was a moment, there had to be, it wasn't just Rachel this time, like it was all those weeks ago in the car, when maybe she did imagine every mutual feeling. But Quinn was getting closer and it wasn't Rachel, she was so so sure of that too.

So it just _had_ to happen didn't it, Quinn's phone just _had_ to start ringing from where ever it was, lost in the messed up bed sheets around them.

"That's my phone" Quinn muttered, still keeping strong eye contact with the punk above her, her soft reath brushing Rachel's skin they were so close. Her heart and mind racing, they'd got close before but not close like this. It was almost like she was seeing if Rachel would close the gap. Santana said Rachel wouldn't do it... "I should get it" she still wasn't moving to answer it though/

"_Ignore it, let me kiss you, then worship you"_ somewhere inside Rachel's head screamed, instead she did what she thought was right. "Right" Still rigid she rolled back onto her knees, freeing Quinn. She climbed off the bed, leaving Quinn to find and answer her phone. She turned away, wandering over to the window to find something far more interesting to look at

"Hello?" she heard Quinn answer "Yes" she sighed "You so care, don't give me that crap... it's just one Sunday... I'm sure you'll be fine... Nothings up with me... no I'm not upset... no we're just hanging out, looking at song choices and stuff... yes _stuff_" she heard Quinn stress "Whatever Santana" and that was the word that made everything Quinn had said make sense, it was Santana who phoned, unsurprisingly, to complain by the sounds of it. "Look if you don't want to practice Sunday then you'll just be letting everyone down... well it was Sunday or Monday morning... yeah that's what I thought... Go back to your girlfriend... very funny, goodbye Santana" there was a moment of silence while Quinn put her phone away before she said "That was Santana"

"Yeah I figured" Rachel tried to convey some sort of soft chuckle to her words but it just wasn't there, her head was elsewhere still.

"Shall we get back to um, song searching" Quinn suggested, awkwardly. Rachel wasn't moving, she was just looking out of her window. She slowly walked over, wondering if Rachel was still listening

"Nah, it's okay, you can go" Rachel said cool-ly without turning away from the view of the street outside.

"What's wrong?" She placed her hand cautiously on her friends shoulder. Sure she wasn't stupid, she remembered quite clearly the heart racing situation a moment ago, but... did it really put Rachel on edge this much...

"Nothing" she slowly pulled her shoulder away from Quinn's touch "just it's getting late and I've got a few song ideas now, so I'll run them by everyone on Sunday, so we're done"

"Oh, okay, I thought- never mind" she shook her head and backed away, going to retrieve her bag, shoes and jacket "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Um, actually I think I'm going to hang with Ronnie, Sheila and the Mack tomorrow, you're with Beth and Puck right?" she ran her fingers over the window sill, taking away the thin layer of dust that had settled there

"Well yeah but only 10 till 1" Quinn reminded her as she sat on Rachel's bed and put her shoes back on "Maybe I could meet up with you all after" she suggested. She was a natural at the 'pretending things didn't happen' game

"Yeah maybe" Rachel finally found the courage to face her friend again and causally turned around, choosing to sit on the window ledge, arms folded.

"Are you okay?" Quinn eyed her suspiciously across the room, Rachel wondered if she was daring her to bring up what just did or didn't happen. But she probably didn't even remember the time in the car, so this was another moment, or not moment, to be ignored.

"Yeah just not feeling too great right now" she creased her face in fake discomfort "suddenly feeling a little sick"

"Oh, okay" Quinn wasn't stupid, she knew Rachel was lying "you get some sleep yeah? I'll show myself out"

"Okay, yeah, see you Sunday or tomorrow or whatever" she half waved, as she let Quinn go

"Yeah, see ya" she slipped out of the bedroom door. Rachel remained silent as she listened to Quinn leave the house, and watched out her window as she watched the blonde walk to her own house. Once she knew Quinn was safe she heavily strolled to her bed and fell down onto it. As she took a deep breath for the big sigh deep within her she caught the scent of Quinn's perfume, which only made her realise how creepy it was that she knew that too easily "Why is life so unfair?" she breathed to herself.

...

They were both Pro's in pretending something did or didn't happen when it came to seeing each other again on the Saturday. Shelia, Ronny and the Mack were all happy to see Quinn, even if in the beginning they hadn't warmed to her quickly she had eventually become a valid member of their group.

Then Sunday they were nearly back to normal. Until Rachel started feeling some distance from her friend. She wasn't sure if it was about them, or something else, but with so many ears around from the majority of the glee club there she didn't want to ask.

Kurt and Mercedes had not been invited to their emergency rehearsal that weekend, okay so they were their team members but they didn't need to be involved and Quinn realised even if they were there just to be a part of it in some way they'd just interfere, so it was easier to exclude them. No one showed any complaints

So now it was Monday afternoon, the final bell had rung and the majority of the student and staff population were rushing to the exits and freedom. Not the glee club though, they were on their way to an extended rehearsal, and to get approval from their club director, but for some reason they were all looking forward to that.

"Okay what's up?" Rachel slammed her locker shut, waking her waiting friend from her daydream "You were distant yesterday and now you've been quiet all day today too"

"It's nothing" Quinn shrugged as she hugged her books closer to her chest

"Have I pissed you off?" Rachel asked bluntly as they started further down the corridor to Quinn's locker "I did warn you I can be a bit of a dictator with this glee stuff" she chuckled lightly, but in the back of her mind she was praying that Quinn didn't want to bring up Friday night. she didn't have the lame excuses all set up in her head for her behaviour after Santana's phone call.

"No, its not you" Quinn told her as she unlocked her locker "You haven't actually been that bad, you call yourself a diva but... you've made this fun again, not that some of them will admit it. You've got Tina, Mike, Artie, Brittany, Blaine and Sam all on your side for sure" she put all her books away, missing Rachel's sigh of relief and then furrowed brow at all her words.

"I thought I was getting on okay With Puck too, or was that just me" she muttered

"No you probably were... I just haven't spoken to him" Quinn shrugged. With her books and bag away they could now head to the auditorium where they'd be rehearsing today.

"Hang on we're getting away from the real subject here, what's wrong with you?" Rachel asked as she jogged to catch up with the avoiding blonde "Not that there's anything wrong with you I mean what's up?" she rushed to correct herself too, even though it was unnecessary

"Yeah, I figured" she playfully shoved Rachel's shoulder with her own, leaving Rachel to wonder if that was jibe at what she said the other night.

"Is it me, am I getting a little bossy, you think I should tone it down before I start losing them?" she tried to divert again in case that was where Quinn was going

"It's not that, it's not even to do with you- actually its to do with you but its not you" she stopped in the nearly empty hallway to face Rachel's he sighed as she begun speaking her worries "I'm conflicted, I don't know if I should tell you, but I feel like I should tell someone _because_ I don't know what I should do, I'm stuck, and thinking yeah I should tell someone because its a big deal, well at least I think it's kinda a big thing but then maybe its not a big thing maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, I mean technically its not illegal it just seems really wrong to me-"

"Whoa-kay, slow down a sec" she put her hands on Quinn shoulders in an attempt to sooth her "What's wrong, you can tell me?"

"I saw something... I don't think I should say" She almost cringed

"If it's eating at you then just say" Rachel encouraged "I was thinking, about what it could be... you've been like this since Saturday- Is it Shelby? Or Puck? Or Beth is something up with Beth?"

"No, not Beth" She replied slowly, hesitating "...Just don't over react"

"You slept with Puck?" she asked blunt and weak

"What, no? We've already talked about that, I'm not going back there" Quinn stressed "No... I saw something when I was alone with Beth, I went to get her bottle and Shelby hadn't left yet and she... Puck and Shelby were close"

"What?" Rachel furrowed her brow

"Really close" Quinn just continued, she peered around them as she dropped the volume to a whisper "he flirted and she didn't push him away and then..."

"What happened?" Rachel's tone dropped, she sounded more serious that Quinn had ever heard her before

"They um, they kissed" At those words Rachel turned on her heel and shot down the corridor "Rachel where are you going?" Quinn rushed after her, regretting what she'd just told her friend simply because of the way she was reacting.

When Rachel got to the auditorium she pushed the back middle doors open dramatically and surged forward down the stairs and straight for the stage where the rest of the group were waiting, even Mack, who'd got temporarily friendly with a few members of the group, was waiting. Mr Schue was sitting in the seats ready for the group to run through the performance.

Quinn just stopped halfway down towards the stage, as she watched Rachel, almost in slow motion. She skipped the steps and climbed onto the stage, anger burning in her eyes as she acquired her target.

"Hey Rachel, we're all ready when..." Tina faded away when she noticed the girl's narrowed eyes were set on Puck. The mohawked boy didn't see her coming until the moment tina spoke, he was bust talking to Sam.

"Rach?" he looked at her quizzically as she closed the last few meters

"Mother Pucker!" she growled as she raised a fist, his eyes widened comically as he watched that fist come down straight onto his face. She swung her fists landing a few more blows, even with his arms up in defence, all before Mike and Sam, and even Blaine could rush forward to tear the furious little punk off the mohawked bad boy, and be ready in case he tried to retaliate.

Amazingly he didn't he just placed checked his nose, finding blood before he asked "What the hell Rachel?"

"You kissed my mom, and knowing you, you probably slept with her too" Mike and Sam had a firm grip on each of her arms, for a tiny girl she sure was strong, or maybe she was just _that_ angry. Everyone watched, intrigued and shocked. Even Mr Schue wasn't sure what to do. Quinn was just disappointed in herself for letting this happen.

"Whoa, whoa, Rach" he held his arms up in defence, worried she might escape the two football players grip "I didn't touch your mom, I've never even met your mom-"

"Shelby!" she yelled across the stage, still trying to squirm out of their vice grip, Blaine stood somewhere between Puck and Rachel, ready to tackle her if she tried something. They didn't need any more rifts in this group.

Puck screwed up his face in confusion "Beth's-"

"Beth's adopted mother, yeah she's my biological mom"

"Whoa" his eyes widened

"How could you" she spat before backing away, then retreating as fast as she arrived. Everyone watched her leave, until she passed Quinn, then all eyes were on her.

Quinn waited till she heard the doors slam shut behind her before she asked "What?" she stared at all of them, confused.

"You know how this works Q" Santana reminded her

The blonde looked to the injured boy, who didn't look that angry at what happened, he looked almost sorry as he cleaned the blood from under his nose, sorry he'd caused this. When he caught Quinn looking at him he just smiled sadly, he realised she must have seen her, Shelby never planned on telling anyone about whatever was going on between them.

She just sighed heavily and realised it was she who was going to have to play hero again and get Rachel back to what was really important right now.

...

It didn't take long to find Rachel, she hadn't got far. She found her in one of the science labs trying to light a cigarette, definitely not one of her smartest moves with all the flammable material in the room.

"I thought you quit smoking" she startled Rachel when she said that

"Yeah well..." she sighed as she tapped her lighter willing it to ignite the next time she went to light the cigarette hanging from her mouth

"You know its bad for you" Quinn unnecessarily reminded her as she wandered into the room and sat herself down on one of the desk.

"That's why you were smoking menthol" Rachel chuckled as she gave up and put her lighter back in her leather jacket pocket.

"You knew?" Quinn asked. There was a hint of shame in her voice for not being able to be just as outgoing as her new friends at the time.

"Of course I knew, I'm not stupid" Rachel laughed lightly again as she wandered round the parameters of the room. The teacher who's room it was should have locked the door with the amount of stuff in here. She read the labels of the few glass bottles laying around "And you do know Menthol are no better for you, in fact they might be worse"

"I know that now" she muttered. She just watched Rachel, who's calmness was a little unnerving right now considering what had just happened "Your reaction was kinda surprising, I mean I thought you might be upset but not that angry" Rachel didn't say anything, Quinn was just thankful she didn't get something thrown at her "I thought you didn't care about her"

She took the unlit cigarette from her mouth and sighed loudly "I don't even know her, so no, I don't really care about her. But I care about you Quinn... I just saw red as I thought about what it might mean, if Shelby was stupid enough to be serious with him-"

"Puck? Puck is never serious about anyone" Quinn scoffed.

"Yeah but what if..." Rachel started strolling, slowly pacing, along the far wall where all the lab equipment was kept "I just imagined you getting pushed out of the picture and you're my friend Quinn and Beth is your flesh and blood and... I over reacted, sorry"

"No, you did what I wanted to do. What if Shelby thinks its more serious than it is and Puck upsets her, she' could easily cut off all contact between us and Beth and..."

"Shelby wouldn't do that... and if she did then I'll have words" Rachel threatened playfully

"I don't think I'll need you too" Quinn chuckled, when deep inside she just hoped she wouldn't be in that situation ever. "Are you coming back now, we're so close to sectionals... we need you Rachel"

"No you don't, you all know what you're doing" Rachel waved her off but didn't actually look at Quinn. If she was caught by those hazel eyes she was doomed.

Quinn actually groaned and hopped down off the desk "For god sake Rachel, without you we're a member short again, and the only reason Mack is there is because of you" she spat angrily "The only reason Santana hasn't been nasty for three days is because you've actually made the time in glee club work"

"Look I know they sent you because you can get me to do anything but it's not gonna work okay Quinn. Puckerman really screwed this up-"

"Don't just blame him as an excuse... Is that it then, are you giving up on us. It's not fair at a time like this"

"Yeah well..." she didn't have a real excuse

"You know, Finn did this back in Sophomore year, when he found out about me and Puck" for a split second Rachel realised she might actually have something in common with the giant oaf... which was worrying. The idea of Quinn and Puck upset her unrightfully too. "And he pulled through for all of us at the very last minute, you don't want to be the next Finn do you?"

"Nice" Rachel huffed humourlessly

"What?" Quinn asked innocently

She peered back over her shoulder, a smile tweaking her eyes as well as her lips "You know I really don't want to be the next Finn"

"Come on. Lets head back" Quinn half asked, half told the punk with the pink stripe in her hair

"Fine" she wandered over to the model skeleton in the corner of the room and pulled its jaw down just enough for her to put the tip of the cigarette in its mouth and leave it there "smoke up" she muttered before following her friend back to the auditorium.

"You know" Quinn started "I'm kinda annoyed because this Puck Shelby thing had me distracted from something kinda important I wanted to tell you about"

"What is it?" Rachel perked up

"You know how you said I needed a new plan, I've got one, a serious one, a 'me' orientated one"

How could Rachel forget that short lecture she gave Quinn when it had mattered "That's really great Quinn, what is it?"

"I'm applying for Yale" she held her breathe for a second to gauge Rachel's reaction, her eyes just widened and smiled. But when she went to open her mouth Quinn cut her off and rushed her words "I looked over what I'd need to do for my application to be successful and I know I can do it" her words were meant to reassure Rachel as much as herself "I've got Cheerios and Glee down as extra curricula, if I added some volunteering to that it would make my application stand out, don't you think?" Rachel just nodded encouragingly "And I know my grades are good enough and will be good enough"

"I know you're smart enough Quinn..." Rachel quickly agreed "I copy off you in class when I can't be bothered" she joked making Quinn smile a little "And I know you're driven and determined" she encouraged "And you deserve this"

"Thanks" Quinn fiddled nervously with her hands

"If you need help practicing for an interview or anything, I'm happy to help" she offered too, happy to help Quinn succeed. She wanted to see the blonde fly one of these days, this was a start.

"Thanks Rach"

An awkward silence hung over them for a moment before Rachel broke it "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" she suddenly felt nervous

"You know those little signs you see in parks that say 'keep off the grass'?" Quinn just creased her brow in confusion but nodded slightly "How do they get there?"

"What?" Quinn chuckled

"What, I thought you were smart?" Rachel asked innocently, while happy to hear Quinn laugh at her really lame joke.

When they got back to the group in the auditorium she was civil with Puck but no where enar as friendly as they had been. They ran through a rough performance for Mr Schue, and he was more than pleased with what they had and confident enough for them to take it to sectionals

...

"What the hell is she doing here?"

Quinn and Rachel heard one oh so familiar voice just as they were getting the girls ready for the second song.

They both looked over to find Mercedes and Kurt just standing there, glaring at Mack who was quite happily talking with Tina. Santana and Brittany were waiting on the other side of the stage.

"She's making up the numbers since you two were dumb enough to get suspended during sectionals" Quinn was going to stand up for her new friend even if she was recently distant with, and she was going to find her voice again.

"She's going to mess everything up"

"Actually you two seemed pretty fine doing that by yourself" Tina whispered harshly. The boys were already out on the stage performing one of the two songs they'd been working on for today.

"'_I still Believe'_ again?" Kurt scoffed as he heard the music.

"Well we didn't have time to come up with two brand new numbers that incorporated the entire group, you know instead of you two taking a solo again" Tina reminded them, she too was going to find her voice in this club again.

"Look, you guys shouldn't be here" Rachel was too stressed to argue and they didn't have time for this "You guys need to get out of here, wouldn't want us to get disqualified would you"

As soon as she put that idea out there their eyes widened in horror, and they were hurrying away back to their seats in the audience.

Just over a minute later and the boys were handing the stage over to the girls.

Tina couldn't help but smile, she was given the first short verse of this song, she was given a partial solo in a performance designed to showcase a variety of talents, she was about to introduce the girls song. She waited for the music, then skipped to centre stage, microphone tightly in hand as she started the first lines

"_I can beat the night, I'm not afraid of thunder  
>I am full of light, I am full of wonder"<em>

The other girls surrounded, closed, in around her to sing the short chorus together.

"_Woah oh, I ain't falling under  
>Woah oh, I am full of wonder"<em>

Santana took the next verse.

"_Though our feet might ache, the world's upon our shoulders  
>No way we gon' break, 'cos we are full of wonder"<em>

"_Woah oh, we ain't falling under  
>Woah oh, we are full of wonder"<em>

Quinn, Tina, Santana and Rachel all stood centre stage, Brittan and the Mack flanking them, and showing some simple moves, as they each took a line each. Quinn went first

"_This light is contagious, go, go tell your neighbours  
>Just reach out and pass it on"<em>

At the words 'pass it on' Quinn slide her palm over Tina's signalling for the next girl to sing

"_This light is contagious, go, go tell your neighbours  
>Just reach out and pass it on, ooh yeah"<em>

Just as Quinn had done to her, Tina did the same to Santana letting her repeat the line for herself, putting her own voice and style to it.

"_This light is contagious, go, go tell your neighbours  
>Just reach out and pass it on, ooh yeah"<em>

And now Santana to Rachel. She never planned on ever touching the midget again after their kiss but here she was, almost holding hands, she had to try hard not to be sick... well she was Santana Lopez, she couldn't even think nice things about anyone other than Brittany.

"_This light is contagious, go, go tell your neighbours  
>Just reach out and pass it on, yeah..."<em>

She held the note longer than the others, just showing off really, although it fit the song too.

The boys all ran onto the back risers to stand in line and join in for the short chorus.

"_Woah oh, we ain't falling under  
>Woah oh, we are full of wonder"<em>

Now Rachel's time to shine, as she stepped out of their formation to sing the last verse solo, like the Rachel Berry she truly was wanted to so badly.

"_When everything feels wrong, and darkness falls upon you  
>Just try sing along, this is a message from cabana<br>If your heart turns blue, I want you to remember  
>This song is for you, and you are full of wonder"<em>

That's not how it supposed to go, they'd rehearsed it, Rachel was simply supposed to step back into place on the last line, so why did she look straight to Quinn with bright smiling eyes, and why did Quinn just reciprocate the look. Quinn felt nerves ripple through her because of the way Rachel sang to her, she now had no doubt that what Santana said all those weeks ago was entirely true.

Then the group collectively sang the last part together.

"_Woah oh, we ain't falling under  
>Woah oh, we are full of wonder"<em>

Even Mercedes and Kurt couldn't help but admit to at least themselves, that they were impressed by what the group had done without them, it wasn't too bad.

The kids on stage and their teacher however had no doubt, first place was theirs.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry about all the Faberry teasing, but got to keep you all interested until they do get together...<strong>

**The Song was Emeli Sandé (or technically Naughty Boy feat. Emeli Sandé) Wonder. Had this song planned for a while...and apparently I have to tell you all I had permission from my sister, the biggest Sandé fan in the world (I kid you not), to use this song -_-**

**Anyway, sorry it took so long to update... let me know what you think :/**


	14. The Power Of Love

**Just want to let you all know as some of you have said in the reviews, Rachel won't be going back to 'old Rachel' in this fic. She'll keep showing up but I'm keeping her 'badass' mostly in this fic.**

**Anyway Thanks for reviewing: unshahzana, Musicfutbolfan6, Guest, LoveSKINS94, ayomoses21, TrustInFaith, YourInnate, Cassisio, Supernena25, anon, ivory19110 and Guest.**

**Anyway, nothing like a Christmas themed chapter in the middle of June...**

**Posted: 18/6/13**

* * *

><p><span>The Power Of Love<span>

"Hey, you're home late" Leroy greeted when his daughter strolled in through the front door. She really was late if he'd got home before her.

"Yeah, I had to go and open my big mouth in glee club today" she dropped her bag, and with her shoulders slouched and her arms hanging lifeless by her side she stumbled towards the arm chair, perpendicular to the sofa where Leroy sat with his laptop.

Leroy chuckled at his daughter's dramatics to how tired she was. "Uh-oh what did you say?"

She let the arm of the chair catch her behind the knees, and let herself fall backwards over the arm into the seat so the chair cradled her "They were all saying how they don't get enough solos so I suggested performing a concert" she cringed "Well that was a bad idea because they went nuts telling me how they tried that before, a night of neglect, but it was a disaster because nobody turned up"

"Sounds just like bad planning to me" Leroy muttered

"That's what I said!" Rachel yelped, glad to hear someone agreeing with her today "But they got pretty mad at me for saying that too. So I said I'll get the tickets sold"

"Oh" Leroy turned his attention off his laptop and fully onto his daughter. It sounded like she'd got herself in some trouble, and not the normal kind here

"Yeah" Rachel sighed "and apart from making some crap posters I have no idea where to start"

"How many have you got to sell?"

"About 400 I think" she couldn't quite remember the capacity of the auditorium but that sounded about right... maybe a little less than the capacity. Right now she didn't really care though, 400 tickets was going to be hard enough to sell.

"Well you can make that 399, I'll buy one, actually 398, I'll take Judy" well wherever Leroy was Judy tended to be lately, so why not.

"Dad... that's great of you but I can't just sell them to the parents" she really did appreciate his enthusiasm

"Well have you got any other ideas?"

"I was thinking, and I mentioned it to the glee club... They're all pretty eager just to perform solo's to a crowd so I said what if some of the ticket sale money went to charity" "So, I'm thinking if I mention half the proceeds go to charity, or maybe if we called it a charity concert, and donated half the money, to the homeless or medical research or something, maybe that could get a few more sold" "I mean they could all add that to their college applications too, you know charity work"

"Sure..." a knowing smile tugged at his lips" by all of them you mean Quinn right"

Rachel leant her head back to look at her dad better "Of course" she said blatantly. There was no point in hiding anything from him anymore "Don't worry I'll come up with something"

"How much were you thinking for a ticket?"

"Not much, maybe 8 dollars a ticket, so 4 goes to the glee club and 4 to charity. I know its not a lot but it'll pay for the bus to Regionals, and it seems reasonable for a glee club concert" she suggested

"And when is the concert?" he asked as he put his laptop on the coffee table and got up to go to the kitchen

"The 21st" Rachel raised her voice so he could still hear her from the next room "7 in the evening I'm thinking"

He poked his head through the door to ask "And it's just at your school?"

"Yeah just in the auditorium, so it's not like we got to pay for the space or anything" she rolled out of her seat and started towards the kitchen, imagining he'd need help with dinner or something "What's with all the questions?" she chuckled lightly to herself

"Just want to make sure I don't miss it" she heard him call back

"No you're up to something I know..." her eye caught an open email on Leroy's laptop screen "Dad, what's this?" she started closing in on the screen to get a better read. It was who it was from that had caught her attention the most.

"Oh nothing, just ignore it" he rushed back in to close the laptop, immediately regretting leaving it open like that, but Rachel caught his arm

"Is this from Hiram?" she asked, looking up at him to gauge his reaction. It surprised Leroy that it hurt to hear Rachel call the man she used to call Daddy by his first name. Rachel was still staring up at him though, the side of her face highlighted by the bright laptop screen "Does he want to see you?"

"No" he pulled his wrist from her grip and grabbed the laptop, snapping it shut so he could protect her from

"Please don't lie to me" her words were accusatory but her tone was soft "Have you been emailing him this whole time?"

"Rach-"

"Because I get it, I understand" she cut him off, ready to assure him of anything he needed to hear and to stop him saying anything against her "You love him, he was your husband for 20 years, you can't just let that go. I can't imagine loving someone and being with them and then them not being there, so I get it-"

"Please Rachel, it's not that" he started towards her while she started backing away, back through to the kitchen, just trying to put distance between them before she could break down "this is the first I've heard of them since the funeral"

"W-what does he want?" she stopped for second, feeling bile and panic rise from the pit of her stomach. Suddenly she was so afraid to lose what little she had.

"Nothing... he mentioned that he wanted to _allow_ me to spend Christmas with them and-"

"You should go" she encouraged without even thinking about it.

"Don't be ridiculous Rachel" he scoffed, he honestly wouldn't dream of doing that to her at such a commercially family orientated time of year.

"Why not, this could be your way back in, you could get to see them all the time"

"I'm not leaving you alone on Christmas"

"We already celebrated Hanukah together" she reminded him "You should go"

"It's not happening Rachel" he said sternly "so just drop it"

"Come on dad-"

"I said drop it!" he hated that he had to yell, he never liked raising her voice to her

"But dad-"

"No Rachel, his invitation is cruel so I'm not going" now he was just trying to explain. But he could see it in her eyes, behind the leather jacket, the scruffy clothes, behind the pink streak in her hair she was still his vulnerable little girl

"Why is it cruel, because I'm not invited, or because I'm not to be mentioned while you're there? I don't care. I don't want to be the reason you don't get to see them"

"You didn't do anything wrong" and now he felt himself breaking at what was going to inevitably unfold in front of him

"Then why does he blame me?" her voice cracked and her eyes started to grow shinier as tears gathered.

"When a family loses a child it tears the family apart, it tears the parent's apart, okay. The parents blame one another and it drives the family apart, you didn't do anything" you'd hear of that sort of thing happening to unfortunate families all the time

"He hates me, he wanted me gone, if you hadn't stuck by me you'd still be with him, with them"

"Rachel, the fact that he wanted to disown you for nothing made me dislike him. Yes I loved him once but I can't anymore. And I couldn't live with myself if I'd let you go. You're my daughter and I love you very much"

"But Becca and Adam-" he rushed forward gathering his daughter in his arms and hushed her

"I miss them, of course I do and I love them very much. If I'd had my way they'd be with us-"

Rachel struggled back and looked him in the eye "You know I'd never hurt them"

"I know, I know" he stroked her hair and pulled her in close again, trying to soothe her trembling

"I just don't want you to regret choosing me" her voice was muffled and shaky. He hated when she was like this, it made her feel vulnerable for her, he loved it when she was strong and determined. Whether she was a punk or a diva, the determined girl between them was the true her.

"I never will" he assured her "Lets forget all this yeah, shall we skip cooking and get take out"

"Yeah I'd like that" she sniffed

"Okay" he wiped the tears from under her eyes with his thumbs "Come on" he nodded back toward the living room before leading her that way.

Guilt laced both of them but for very different reasons. Leroy hoped Rachel would make progress, but she wasn't, and whenever he tried to talk to her about the past it felt like they were going backwards. And now he just felt terrible that he'd put Rachel in this state... so he'd make it up to her somehow

...

When Rachel got to the afternoon Glee club meeting two days later, she was more than a little confused by just how active everyone was, and they weren't getting ready for another simple routine this was something else.

Kurt and Mercedes still hadn't said much about their victory at Sectionals without the two queen bees. Rachel seemed to recall some sort of congratulatory comment about their surprising victory without the two leads. The rest of the group had just rolled their eyes and let it go, all while thanking Rachel for leading them to that victory that they felt they were all responsible for.

Mack had gone back to the skanks too, letting Rachel know that if they ever needed the extra person again she was happy to do it but not keen on signing up long term... she also said she'd go easier on Rachel when they hang out outside of school, glee club wasn't _so_ bad.

But back to the right now, Rachel was definitely suspicious... the group they were... celebrating.

"Hey, what's going on?" Rachel muttered next to Quinn's ear as she slid into her usual seat next to the blonde

"Hey-" the word caught in her throat as soon as she laid eyes on Rachel "What the hell is that?" she hissed

"What?" Rachel immediately tried to pull her hair over _that_ side of her face

She swept Rachel's hair back to get a better look "That! What is that?" she wasn't loud but her tone sure was angry. At least the little spat didn't seem to be getting any attention from the other people in the room "How did you do that?"

"Walked into an open locker" she shrugged as she pulled back

"Liar"

"How am I lying?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes on her friend "Because that bruise is the same size and shape as Azimio's fist" she pointed out just making Rachel roll her eyes "What did you do?"

"I told him his butt looked big in his letterman jacket" she answered sarcastically

"No, what really happened?"

"He made some dumb ass comments about something, don't worry about it"

"But I do worry about it when you show up looking like that. What did he say?"

"Just some stupid stuff about you and me, so I swore then punched him... I split his lip so this" she pointed to her own bruise "doesn't mean he won or anything"

"I don't care who won, you shouldn't be fighting"

"Yes mom" Rachel sighed

"Real mature" Quinn muttered

"Rachel, can I have a word please" Mr Schue's voice interrupted their little argument.

"Sure" Rachel got up and stepped down the risers to join the teacher by the piano.

"Have you already started selling tickets?" he immediately asked her. She managed to breathe a small sigh of relief that she hadn't done anything wrong, or was being accused of doing anything wrong

"Not exactly, I mean I may have started ideas... and mentioned it to someone..." she admitted the truth, but nothing had been set in stone when she left the night before so she hadn't started organising anything permanent yet.

"Well Figgins keeps getting calls, maybe about 40 people already today asking about the concert and how they can get tickets"

"That's a good thing right?" she asked cautiously

"That's a great thing" he burst with excitement, maybe this was why there was such a happy buzz in the choir room when she arrived, and why everyone was still happily talking to one another, and had not books and mp3 players out talking about song choices. The concert was a go then. "So whatever you've done just thank you"

"Um okay" sure she could just take credit for something she wasn't sure she'd done... she'd only told one person outside of the glee club about this so... well she was suspicious of a certain father of hers.

Back on the risers Sam had moved from his seat behind Quinn to the one Rachel had been sitting in

"You know she was only trying to defend you" he started, making her jump slightly

"Huh?" Quinn had been so focused on the side of Rachel's head as she talked to her teacher she hadn't even noticed the blonde boy sit down next to her.

"Rachel. I was there, me, Mike, and Puck actually tried to break it up but she's like a little dog, scary and aggressive... and really hard to pull away when she's that angry" he muttered, almost embarrassed that it had taken him and Mike to pull Rachel away from Azimio "She did a number on his face so she can hold her own"

"What did he say?" Quinn had to know what would make Rachel act so feral.

"Just the normal stuff that everyone's saying" Sam shrugged

Quinn tore her eyes off the brunette still talking to Mr S, to actually look at Sam sternly "And what is everyone saying?"

"You- Quinn when we dated- I'm not complaining!" he rushed to assure her "but you're not into the PDA and that's cool. You hold hands, the occasional kiss, but you're not over the top. But with her, it's all looks and light touching, and light almost flirty talking, and everyone's just wondering what's going on there"

"Nothing is going on!" she yelled, momentarily silencing the class. But with one fiery glare at her class mates they resumed what they were doing. Her eyes didn't soften as she looked back to the boy next to her.

"Hey I'm just the messenger" he held his hands out in mock surrender "You just- we all know she's soft on you, and if that argument and fight were anything to go on today, she's super protective over you. And you, you're really soft on her and all the touching, like a second ago-"

"I was just looking at the bruise" she tried to explain

"Okay that's fine, I'm just saying if you don't want people saying these things you should just be careful how you act round her, at least while you're here, in school" he told her quietly, before adding in an almost whisper "At least until you know how you feel-"

"Sam" she said his name with a warning tone

"I'm not going to say anything Quinn" he assured her with another mock surrender

"Because there's nothing to say" she _told_ him sternly

He didn't falter though "But feelings are weird things... and... well like for example... do you think Mercedes would wanna go out with me?"

She raised an eyebrow at him and the mischievous little smile that was pulling at his lips "Wait, we're talking about you?"

"Well I was talking about you and now I'm asking your opinion... what do you think?" his gaze wandered beyond Quinn and to the diva sat on the front row with her best friend Kurt, and surrounded by a few others as they talked about their solo choices

Quinn glanced at Mercedes too, then back to Sam "I think... I think she'd be really lucky to get asked out with you... and she better not hurt you, because you're not a bad guy, you know how to keep certain ideas and opinions to himself" she stressed the last part deliberately

"You know it" he smiled

"And if she did hurt you, I've got a scary little brunette _friend_ who can bring her down to size"

"Okay" he nodded in understanding. Sam wasn't nearly as dumb as he pretended to be.

"Hey" they both looked up to find Rachel standing in front of them

"Oh right" Sam started moving "Sorry, your seat" he wasn't exactly scared of her, but he knew what she was capable for her size.

"No, um, just wanted to say thanks to you and Mike, for earlier, before Azimio and his boys could... you know get the upper hand" she tried and failed to stay smooth

"Well Puck helped too" Sam reminded her, while the mentioned boy looked over but went ignored by Rachel

"Yeah" she shrugged "But I'm still not talking to him" Quinn gave Puck a half smile, he just smiled back and shrugged Rachel's comments off. They didn't know what was or wasn't happening between Puck and Shelby anymore but Quinn hadn't walked into any more situations since then so they were happy to just not talk about it.

For a moment Quinn worried she'd adopted a trait from her dad, if they don't talk about it it's not happening, wasn't that an autism thing, maybe her dad was autistic, and didn't like not having control- wait, see it was things like that right now. Quinn's thought process was always running wild lately.

Especially with thoughts stuck on situations, situations involving certain best friends, in certain positions, that should have led somewhere, _'especially when you reach out and touch her hair, and when you try to prop yourself up and get closer, but no, she didn't move and now you're left wondering what's wrong with you... and apparently everyone can see it but Rachel, just like before everyone could see it but you, until Santana spelt it out for you...'_

So that's why Puck and Shelby were at the back of her mind right now

"So what song are you thinking of doing for the concert?" Rachel's voice broke through the cloudy thoughts and bought Quinn back to reality. She hadn't even realised Sam was back in his seat behind them and next to Blaine, while the class were still talking about their song choices.

"Oh, um, I'm not sure" she muttered as she grabbed a notebook from her bag.

"You are gonna sing right?" Rachel asked, almost sounding already disappointed that Quinn might not want a chance in the spot light.

"Are you?" Quinn diverted with another question

"I don't know. I've sung enough" Rachel waved off

"But I like hearing you sing"

"I wanna hear you sing more" Rachel nudged her playfully in the side

Sam cleared his throat behind the two girls; Rachel didn't seem to take notice while Quinn casually looked at him. He raised an eyebrow as if to emphasise his point earlier, Quinn just smiled lightly and shook her head at him before looking back to Rachel.

She guessed she could see his point, but a few words and gossip in the halls, was that really enough to make her want to take a step back in her... friendship. Then she saw the side of Rachel's head and the growing bruise. Of course she could just have the best of both worlds but that would mean saying something, like telling Rachel she didn't care what people were saying. But that was a lie because she obviously did care... she cared about many things.

...

Over the following week leading up to their 'Christmas Charity Concert' Mr Schue lost track of how much interest they'd had from phone calls asking for more information. Rachel had made the crap posters like she said and pinned them on a few notice boards round the school, but with the excitement in the glee club and the constant interest, and one pissed off principle being used as a secretary for them it seemed Rachel didn't have to do anything.

She didn't ask her dad if he knew anything about the interest but he knew it was all down to him. So, knowing everything about her dad, including certain email account passwords because he was so damn predictable, she hatched a plan.

It was the same night as the concert when she sprung her plan on him. she stood waiting in the living room, a packed suitcase next to her as she waited for him to get home. She'd seen the car headlights shine into the room when her dad had pulled up on the drive so she knew when to get up and stand ready. Despite being close with Leroy she couldn't be entirely sure if he was going to be angry, she'd find out soon enough

She watched him step through the door, routinely drop his keys in the bowl on the table next to the same door and then take his jacket off and hang it up, he didn't stop until he finally noticed his daughter staring at him expectantly from the centre of the room. He glanced at her then the case, he furrowed his brow as he asked "Rachel, where are you going?"

"I'm not going anywhere, you are" she told him calmly. An envelope sat on the table with his plane ticket and passport waiting inside.

"A big suitcase, really?" he chuckled "Isn't that a bit extreme if you want to throw another house party?" he asked as he took a seat in the armchair nearest to him. he bought his foot up to take his shoe off, that was Rachel's cue, there wasn't much point in him taking his shoes off.

"No, you're going to New York, and you're going to spend Christmas with them" she told him quickly

"Rachel-"

"Please listen" she cut him off "If you want more contact with them you can't refuse the first offer you get, Hiram might not ask again if you don't go" she picked up the envelope and stepped round the coffee table to present it to him "So I emailed him two days ago, from your email, pretending to be you saying you'd arrive tonight-"

"Rachel!" he stood up abruptly and walked away, swatting the envelope away from him.

"I booked your flights; you come back new years eve. You can't not go now, it's too late" she followed him round the room, holding the envelope out for him to take "... I know it was you, you spread the word of the concert and got the interest up, we're pretty sure we could sell out tonight. And I know it was you through various business contacts and friends... half your office is going to be there tonight"

He turned sharply, making her almost walk straight into him "What about work? I can't just take time off without notice"

"I talked with Judy, she's got it covered" she assured him, she wasn't stupid "Your taxi is going to be here in half an hour to take you to the air port, and I've got your ticket here" she shoved the envelope forward again.

"I can't believe you did this" he reluctantly took the envelope off her and opened it to look inside. There was some money too, presumably for the cab fare.

"Well I love ya, you need this... I'll never forgive myself if I didn't let you go" her voice was weak, afraid he was still angry "We had Hanukah and my Birthday, so spend Christmas with them" she tried to make the situation okay, even if he didn't agree with it "Oh and thanks for not telling Judy and Quinn it was my Birthday, I know we do a lot of things with them but I really wanted to just spend it with you... and we had that so go, have a great Christmas, please"

"I love you Rachel"

"I love you too dad" she replied effortlessly "we'll celebrate Christmas when we get back"

"I'm going to miss the concert"

"So, your best pal Judy's not going anyway she's having a girls night out with a few other colleagues so you'd have no one to mock all our performances with" she teased

"As if we'd mock any of you or your friends" he played innocent.

"You so would, especially if you saw Finn dance, he's so tall it just looks awkward" she laughed lightly.

He smiled just at hearing her laugh, then sighed. She watched worried as he disappeared out of the room... a moment passed and he came back, still holding the envelope and in the other hand a brightly wrapped package

"You should have one present before I go" he told her as he tried giving her the present

"I've got enough things, I don't need anything else from you" she laughed off

"Just a small one, to keep you warm" he had to shove the item into her hands like she had had to do with the envelope. "Open it" he encouraged eagerly.

She sighed but complied, ripping the paper to reveal a grey fluffy item. She pulled it out to get a better look and realised it was one of those hats with the animal ears, this one looked kinda like a wolf.

"Thought you'd look funny in it" he chuckled "And it would keep you warm"

She quickly put it on her head "I love it, thank you" she grinned making him laugh again "If you wanna change before you leave you better go now" she warned him

He nodded "Yeah... thank you" he pulled her in close for a tight hug "Just thank you"

"It's okay" she whispered back "Thank you for my hat" he just chuckled again

...

Rachel chose to walk that evening, she felt like trying the hat out. Call her stupid but it was a reminder a brief small one that Leroy was still there for her. She sent him away, without giving him an easy way out so it was her fault he wouldn't be there tonight, like he promised he'd be after not being able to make it to sectionals. It we _her _choice, she just needed to remember that when she started to feel hollow. Besides she got to spend the evening with Quinn, and she'd probably be bugging her over the next few weeks of the winter holidays anyway.

She was the last one to arrive that evening, she was also a little late. She saw Finn Mike and Tina selling the actual tickets on the door and when she got to the choir room she found the rest of the club gathered round the piano where Mr S had their performance order list

"Oh good, Rachel you're here" He smiled at her. His 'nice-ness' was both refreshing and a little creepy. She didn't plan on ever being his friend, or loyal student... she'd need to 'fix' their relationship at some point "I've got the list put together, you're going on last is that okay"

'_Last!'_ the real Rachel would dance at that opportunity, this Rachel... yeah she's was still secretly ecstatic about that, but she wasn't liking the murderous look she was getting from Mercedes.

"Okay so everyone know there places" the teacher asked, getting a mixture of positive responses. "Okay, Kurt, Puck, Santana and Brittany, you 4 are first in that order so we'll head over to the auditorium and get ready, everyone else stay here and we'll filter back and forth through the night. I'll leave a copy of the order list here" with that he led the first four out of the door and to the auditorium where they were hopeful to have a sizeable audience

The others in the room separated into smaller groups and decided to relax their voices, though surely they'd relaxed their voices enough being in this club.

Rachel went to the piano as she unzipped her jacket. She quickly read through it.

_Christmas Charity Concert 2011, Performance Order_

_Kurt  
>Puck<br>Santana  
>Brittany<br>Blaine  
>Mike<br>Finn  
>Tina<br>Artie  
>Quinn<br>Sam  
>Mercedes<br>Rachel_

So Mercedes was second last... she probably wanted that final spot as hers. She probably deserved it or wanted it more anyway, hell anyone in that club probably had wanted that last spot more than Rachel, she was the only one who hadn't dressed up to impress or look the part. But she had a little song in mind for tonight and she didn't see why she had to pretend to be yet another personality to perform it.

Quinn slid up next to her and with a simple comment of "Nice hat" she was interrupted from her thoughts.

She smiled back "Thanks, it's a present from my dad"

Quinn stared at the ears on the thing, remembering when Brittany had something similar the previous year. Rachel really did look something in the big furry hat "You look like one of those things in Starwars"

Rachel quirked an eyebrow at Quinn's reference "An Ewok?"

Quinn just breathed a light laugh "I don't know what's worse, that I was referencing Starwars or that you knew what I was talking about"

"I guess we're just compatible" the punk shrugged cool-ly, before taking the hat off and tucking it inside her jacket.

"Maybe" She half agreed, while feeling a tug of guilt for being so slightly flirty with Rachel. She decided to switch subject "So I saw Leroy leave in a taxi earlier, where was he going?"

"New York, he got an invite from my other dad and he wasn't going to go, so I sent him" okay, so Quinn hadn't quite expected a straight forward answer "Didn't your mom tell you? She knew my plan before my dad did"

"No, she didn't, well she said she knew he might be taking a trip but she didn't tell me the details. She doesn't normally tell me private things... she's good at keeping secrets" there was a moment there of silent understanding, Rachel knew Quinn knew that there was a secret to her but she didn't know what it was. It also assured Rachel that Quinn would never know unless she told her, and why would she do that, what would it accomplish? "So when does he get back?"

"New years eve"

Quinn was a little disgusted "Rachel how could he-?"

"I booked his tickets" she assured Quinn before negative thoughts could fester "I said he should take that long, its only like a week and half its no big deal for me and a huge one to him and my siblings"

"You can't spend Christmas alone"

"I doesn't matter" well, she'd pretend it didn't matter, but she really wasn't fooling anyone.

"Yeah it does, you're spending it with my mom and me we already decided"

"You're not seeing your sister?" she asked curious, remembering Quinn mention spending last Christmas with her sister and her family

"No, she's got her own family to spend Christmas with, besides my dad is her guest this year, so me and my mom might go to hers next year... no big deal. Anyway we were spending Christmas together with you and Leroy anyway" and she was secretly looking forward to that, the idea of her mom having Leroy as such a reliable friend while she'd get to see Rachel, her equally reliable friend.

"Were we?" Rachel asked surprised

"He didn't tell you?"

"No, he probably wanted it to be a surprise" or he was too busy being shoved out the front door.

"Oh, Rachel, I just wanted to speak to you" Mr Schue was back already, interrupting their little conversation

She conceded to just being bearable tonight, at least to her teacher, he had given her the closing slot after all "What's wrong Mr S?"

"Nothing's wrong, its good news, we're sold out" he was breathing a little erratically, probably because he'd just jogged back and he seemed more than a little excited "completely sold out. I got down to the doors to check on Tina, Mike and Finn, and they said they had to start turning people away" he couldn't help but grin, and it was coming a little infectious around the room as all the others could hear him too. He then lowered his voice slightly, as if he was aware what he said next might damage her re "And a few of them mentioned they were recommended to come here by Leroy Berry, thank your dad for us all will you"

"Sure thing" she smiled. He gave her an awkward pat on the back before leaving the room again, back to the event in the auditorium

Rachel caught Quinn smiling at her "What?"

"Your dad got all the tickets sold?" she raised a perfect eyebrow

"I guess" yet just another shrug from Rachel, because _nothing_ was a big deal "Okay I knew he'd put in a word with a few people and we were going to sell a good amount of tickets. So I had to make him go to New York, as a reward for doing this"

"This means so much to everyone" the pair by the piano looked to the others sat on the risers who now seemed more animated with both happiness and nerves.

"Yeah and I probably didn't even have to make those damn posters" Rachel sighed at her minimalistic effort

"Now I see why you sent him" Quinn meant that as a half apology for feeling such negative thoughts for the man moments ago.

"Yeah... he didn't have to help me... us, but he did" she smiled sadly "What are you going to sing?"

"Oh nothing much, just: _'Merry Christmas, Everyone'_. Not everyone is singing a Christmas song but I thought I would, just to keep it light hearted" she rambled nervously "No one will even remember what I sing once Mercedes goes on out after me so I doesn't matter"

"Of course it matters Quinn. It matters me, it's what I'm looking forward to most"

"Don't say that" Quinn playfully yelped "Now _I am_ nervous"

...

"You had nothing to worry about, you're a really great singer Quinn" Rachel told her as they waited in the wings, Mercedes belting out some tune in the back ground

"It's a really great crowd out there. And the people I could see I didn't recognise any of them"

"That's a good thing?" Rachel asked. She peered out from the side lines catching a glimpse of the dimly lit audience

"Well yeah" Quinn answered. She didn't want any of them to recognise her, it was les embarrassing that way if she messed up "Are you nervous?"

"No, not really"

"You're lucky, I was so nervous, I've never had a solo like that before"

"You seem excited now" Rachel chuckled lightly as they stepped further back away from the edge of the stage, Mercedes stage

"Yeah, I guess post performance jitters. You're really not nervous?" she asked again

"Nope, I just keep thinking of a really weird dream where Brittany and Santana sung Have a cheeky Christmas" her eyes widened in horror... maybe

Quinn just furrowed her brow "I've never heard of that song... should I be worried?"

"Um, no I don't think so" as she said that they heard Mercedes performance start to fade away.

"Show time" Quinn said as she led the brunette back to the stage.

Unfortunately not everyone was in the sharing and giving spirit because as they got there they heard Mercedes make a very final statement "Thank you for joining us this evening, we hope you enjoyed yourselves. Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all and drive home safe"

Quinn and Rachel stood frozen in their places "The bitch" Quinn ground out as she surged forward. Rachel caught her round the waist and tugged her back

"Just leave it Quinn" she said softly, it wasn't worth it, she didn't want to sing anyway.

"No you didn't get to sing, you were supposed to close this thing" she tried to pull away again but Rachel just held her tighter

"Please, I don't care that much" the people were leaving now anyway "Lets just head back to the choir room, and forget it" she didn't let go until she let Quinn relax

"I can't believe she just did that"

"I can" Rachel shrugged "Come one, lets just go, it's been a long day anyway"

...

When they did get back to the choir room only Mr S looked confused. He was the only other one present in the group when Mercedes closed the show early, he looked like he wanted to say something to Rachel at least but she just shook her head dismissively.

After a short celebration the group then split up into their smaller groups and started heading home.

Quinn lost Rachel as they were leaving the building, though it didn't really matter, Santana had offered her a ride home anyway. When she was in Santana's car she saw a silhouette walking across the car park towards the exit. She was completely sure it was Rachel when she saw the pointy ears on her fluffy hat.

She unbuckled her seat belt and opened the car door and got out. Santana opened her drivers side window before the hazel eyed blonde could escape "Q, where you going?"

She stopped by the window, ducking down to talk to Santana "Thanks for the ride but I'm gonna walk"

"Why?" Brittany asked from the front passenger seat

"Just" her eyes wandered across the parking lot, in the dark distance she could still see Rachel walking away "Feel like getting some fresh air" she finished looking back at Santana.

The Latina just looked over to where Quinn had been looking then back to the hazel eyed girl, grinning mischievously "Yeah Q, you get you some" she said with a wink

"Shut up" Quinn rolled her eyes and stepped away from the car so Santana could drive away. She had to jog lightly to catch up with the punk who had almost escaped unseen.

"Hey" she breathed, her breath visible as a cloud in the night air.

"Hey" Rachel squeaked with surprise, the hat covered her hears and muffled her hearing so she'd barely heard Quinn's approach "I thought you were getting a ride with Santana and Brittany"

"Yeah well, I didn't want you walking home alone and you are going the same way as me" she shivered

"You're cold" Rachel noted

"Well it _is_ cold so yeah" she just chuckled back as she kept close to Rachel's side while they walked along the side walk/

"Here" Rachel took the fluffy hat off her head and put it onto Quinn's, mentally noting how much better it looked on the blonde

"What are you doing?" Quinn laughed nervously "Rachel what about you?"

"I'm fine" she said as she slipped her gloves off and handed them to Quinn

"I really can't take your gloves as well" she moved her hands away so Rachel couldn't force her to take them, or even try to put them on her hands

"Well you didn't bring any, did you?" she thrust them forward again

"I didn't plan on walking home"

"Then why are you?"

"You looked lonely"

"Take the gloves please" Rachel whined

"Fine, but if you get frost bite its your own fault" Quinn conceded

"I'll be fine" she unzipped her jacket and pulled out a thinner set of gloves and a red beanie "See"

Quinn narrowed her eyes at the shorter girl "Rachel Berry did you have this planned?"

"No, you know I'm not that smart" she countered playfully

"You are smart, you're a dork" Quinn teased, Sam's warning ignored... besides they were alone now no witnesses

"Thanks"

"Any time" They walked in silence for a moment before Quinn slipped her arm round Rachel's so they could be closer, just to share body heat, you know? "You didn't sing tonight"

"I know" Rachel still played that it wasn't a big deal...

"But everyone was on the list, even Mike who avoids singing every chance he gets"

"I guess it was overlooked"

"No, Mercedes knew you were last, she did it deliberately before you could get out there"

"It doesn't matter" Rachel stressed again "Sure, did I think because I was involved with sectionals I might have earned a few more human rights in that club, yeah I might have thought that, but I guess not"

"You can say it, you know" Quinn said lowly, just knowing what Rachel was thinking

"Say what?" of course she played innocent, and dumb

"About sectionals: you saved the day"

"No I didn't" Rachel denied it, not wanting to give in just yet, just wanting to hear a little more praise and encouragement from Quinn first "I don't see why you or Santana, or even Finn couldn't have just organised everyone. You've all been or are captains of something in that school, so I don't see why you needed me"

"You know music" Quinn squeezed Rachel's arm comfortingly "You did great, and you know it so stop back tracking"

"I did pull it all together didn't I?" she finally agreed rather smugly earning a soft elbowing to the ribs

"You didn't sing tonight though"

"Ugh" she groaned "I didn't even have anything to sing, so it all worked out in the end"

"Oh please" the blonde in the wolf hat scoffed

"What?"

"You didn't have a song for tonight? But you pulled 'I still Believe' and 'Wonder' from nowhere" she pointed out "You must have had something"

"Okay I might have had a song in mind"

"Sing it" Quinn requested softly

"What?"

"Sing it" she asked again

"When?"

"Now" Quinn chuckled lightly

"No" Rachel spluttered her laugh

"Please" Quinn begged in a whiney playful voice

"No" Rachel sing-songed

"For me" and there it was, two little words and the fight was over

Rachel narrowed her eyes at the other girl "I hate you"

"No you don't" she grinned "Please"

Rachel just let out a big sigh "Fine". Then she had to check: "You don't mind being seen with some singing weirdo"

"No, I want to hear you... please" she asked nicely just one more time

Rachel sighed again "Okay"

"_Aye... hmmm..._

_Dreams are like angels  
>They keep bad at bay<br>Love is the light  
>Scaring darkness away<br>I'm so in Love with you  
>Make love your goal"<em>

It felt like it should be snowing, it wasn't but it felt like it should be at a moment like this with Rachel singing softly and them wandering through the absent streets towards their neighbouring homes. Quinn just remained huddled up to Rachel's side, realising she quite liked being this close to the other girl

"_The power of love  
>A force from above<br>Cleaning my soul  
>Flame on burn desire<br>__Love with tongues of fire  
>Purge the soul<br>Make love your goal"_

Only a few blocks away Brittany was inviting her girlfriend into her house for some alone time. Some alone time that would mostly consist of watching TV and curling up together on the sofa. It wasn't like their relationship was less physical than before... just that Santana might be getting soft now that she knew she had Brittany and life was still good.

"_I'll protect you from the hooded claw  
>Keep the vampires from your door<br>When the chips are down I'll be around  
>With my undying death defying love for you<br>Envy will hurt itself  
>Let yourself be beautiful<br>Sparkling light, flowers and pearls and pretty girls  
>Love is like an energy<br>Rushing in, rushing inside of me, hmmm...__"_

In another residential area Blaine was dropping Finn and Kurt off at their house. Kurt couldn't help being bit curious, no wait, very curious about the boy with the wavy hair and the sensational singing voice. He was also curious why this boy seemed to look at him with such a twinkle in his eyes... or were his eyes just always like that?

"_The power of love  
>A force from above<br>Cleaning my soul  
>Flame on burn desire<br>Love with tongues of fire  
>Purge the soul<br>Make love your goal__"_

Sam was driving Puck, Artie and amazingly Mercedes too. He'd made sure the girl he was crushing on got the front seat while he's odd couple pals got the back seats. The four were listening to music, making jokes, it was light hearted fun.

"_This time we go sublime  
>Lovers entwined, divine divine<br>Love is danger, love is pleasure  
>Love is pure the only treasure<br>I'm so in love with you  
>Make love your goal"<em>

Mike and Tina drove home in silence, they really were a perfect couple they didn't even need to speak to enjoy simple time together, they just listened to music and held hands across the console. The odd glance and smile was all they needed to communicate

"_The power of love  
>A force from above<br>Cleaning my soul  
>The power of love<br>A force from above  
>A sky scraping dove<br>Flame on burn desire  
>Love with tongues of fire<br>Purge the soul  
>Make love your goal<em>

_Make love your goal"_

Rachel sighed as she left the girl she loved on the doorstep of her own home. It was so tempting to just kiss the hand her grip lingered on, but that couldn't happen. If she stepped over that line she'd lose Quinn, and that might kill her. Rachel let their hands slip as she stepped away. She kept that smile on her lips just for a few seconds longer, even though it wasn't in her heart.

She just held onto the fact that Quinn had chosen to walk with her through the cold and dark streets when she could have got a ride with her friends. She'd chosen Rachel over them and that made the brunettes heart swell.

* * *

><p><strong>The song was The Power of Love, originally by Holly JohnsonFrankie goes to Hollywood, but in my head I was hearing the Gabrielle Aplin cover. I know its not exactly Christmassy but we always hear it at Christmas, the original music video was Christmas themed and the Aplin cover was used for the John Lewis 2012 Christmas ad :/**

**Anyway, sorry for the AN, let me know what you think...**


	15. The Bad Touch

**Thanks for reviewing: Musicfutbolfan6, supernena25, kutee, Guest, OutOfNoWhereHereIAm, ichigo111981, Guest, iamirreplazable, lemon-rind, LoveSKINS94, Gardenia2, aquarius127, Cassicio and piecesofyourheart **(I'd love to pit you against my sister in a trivia battle to see who's the bigger Sandé fan but I fear you'd lose lol, my sister is just that nuts. And I agree, I don't think Emeli has had enough recognition in the US either, but in the UK she's the multi Brit and Mobo Award winning biggest selling artist of 2012 and possibly 2013 too. So it's only a matter of time before she invades the US)

**Posted: 24/6/13**

* * *

><p><span>The Bad Touch<span>

The slam of her door hitting the wall and the words "It's Christmas!" being yelled like at the beginning of that Slade song startled Rachel almost out of her skin. She scrambled to sit up and clutched her hand over her heart in fear it was about to burst out her rib cage and flee before her body could catch up

"Holy shit, you scared me!" she yelled at the intrusive girl still in her pyjamas "How did you get in?"

"Leroy gave me and my mom a spare key weeks ago" Quinn dropped herself onto the edge of Rachel's bed right next to Rachel herself "Anyway, get up, get up, get up!" she kind of bounced in her seat.

"Why?" Rachel cringed and trembled, mostly for dramatic effect.

"It's Christmas silly" Quinn grinned

"Wow"

"What?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you act so free spirited, you're normally so reserved" Rachel poked fun

"Yeah well it's Christmas" Quinn stood up and made her way back to the door "Get up"

"Why?" she groaned again, noting the early hour, and wondering why she couldn't have just made her own way next door around lunch time.

"Because you've got to see if you got any presents" then again seeing Quinn retort to a 5 year old type personality might be too big of a chance to give up, she was so sweet right now.

"I doubt it, don't know if you noticed but I've been a very _bad_ girl this year" Rachel played along and conceded, flipping the covers back and climbing out of bed. Quinn held back a giggle at Rachel's Christmas penguin themed pyjama pants, and plain grey vest combo. She knew the girl to normally fall asleep in her clothes... or claiming to sleep naked.

"Well maybe you haven't got any under your tree, but if you come back with me next door..."

"Ugh fine, doesn't seem like I'm going to get any more sleep" she shuffled to the edge of the bed and stretched then went over to her closet and started pulling clothes out

"What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed" she pointed out the obvious while giving Quinn the once over "Wait, you're still in your Jammies?" she finally realised that Quinn stood there in a perfectly matching set of silk style traditional pyjamas with a matching thin robe, and pale green fluffy slippers.

"Did you just say Jammies?" Quinn giggled uncharacteristically, throwing Rachel for a moment "And yeah, so what if I am, so is my mom"

"Wow" she just slipped on a pair of sneakers and grabbed her jacket out the closet "Christmas morning with the Fabray women in their nightwear, that's such a turn on"

"Shut up" Quinn shoved her in the arm "I meant you don't need to get dressed just come on over, we're having breakfast"

"What about presents?" She didn't have many to give, she'd spent most of her saved up allowance, and the money she'd earned from various small time jobs, on her dads plane ticket, that he planned on giving back to her when he got home, not that she knew that yet. She quickly ran a hairbrush through her hair to tame the messy bed head. Quinn's still short hair looked immaculate as always.

"That's later, but you can look at them if you want... you know if you have any" Quinn shrugged as she grabbed Rachel's hand and unnecessarily led her out of her bedroom

"Wait" she had to pull her hand free, as much as she really didn't want to "I need to brush my teeth" not to mention pee "I'll just meet you at yours"

"No, it's okay I'll wait" Quinn shrugged as she leant on the wall opposite the bathroom

"Okay" she eyes the girl suspiciously as she slipped away into the bathroom. Once she was ready she was surprised as Quinn again didn't hesitate and grabbed her hand to drag her away out of her own house, skipping the path and choosing to traipse across the wet grass instead to get to Quinn's. The blonde continued to hastily lead Rachel through her own house and to Quinn's, She stopped to leave her sneakers and jacket by the front door then followed Quinn straight through to the kitchen where Judy was waiting with coffee.

"Good morning Rachel" the older woman greeted, in far too a good mood for this hour in the morning, just like her daughter.

Rachel put on her best show face "Good morning Judy, and can I say how wonderful you look for first thing in the morning" she then nudged Quinn in the side playfully "You could learn something from her Quinn"

Quinn sighed heavily, not with jealousy or anything stupid like that because that would just be really stupid "She did her make-up real quick while I went to drag your lazy ass out of bed"

Rachel went to make some sort of other comment when she heard a tiny squeak from the room next door "What was that noise?"

The mother daughter team exchanged a look and silently agreed that Rachel should investigate "Why don't you go see?" Judy suggested as she took another sip of her coffee.

Rachel just glanced suspiciously at the two blondes before slipped away through the door into the main living room

"Do you think she would have eaten the ribbon we put on her?" Judy asked her daughter, only imagining the mess that could have been created in the 30 seconds the living room was left unattended.

"Probably. It took us forever to tie it to her" Quinn chuckled "Have you got your phone, so you can send Leroy a picture?"

"Yeah its just here" Judy took her cell off the side and put her coffee cup down

"You got a puppy!" they heard Rachel shriek with excitement in the next room

"Come on" Judy laughed lightly as she led the way. On the other side of the door they found the little brunette punk with the tongue piercing and pink streak in her hair completely melting at the German shepherd puppy in her arms. The puppy's fluffy fur jet black on that back and head, and tan on her underside, it's skin loose round its body, making it feel like a light weight bag of bones. The red bow attached to its little red collar was still in place, if a little crumpled.

"You got a puppy?" she asked again when she noticed the women watching her.

"Not exactly" Judy explained "We got _you_ a puppy"

"Me?" Rachel's eyes twinkled with surprise.

"Yeah, we checked with your dad first" Quinn explained further "We thought you could do with a new friend seeing as you don't really have any" she added the cheeky comment with an obvious grin

"Hey!" Rachel protested playfully and lightly not wanting to startle the confused looking animal in her arms.

"You know I'm joking" Quinn conceded with an eye roll

"Yeah I do" the brunette agreed before turning her attention back to her present "Hey-" she paused to not so discretely check the gender of the dog "Girl, hey, I'm gonna spoil you so much I am. What shall we call you?" she bumped noses with the worried looking puppy "I know" she gasped softly and looked back to her human friend "How about 'Quinn'? That sounds like a good name for a bitch"

"Rachel Berry I had no idea you could be so mean" Quinn pouted as she slowly approached to pet the dog she'd already spent the night worriedly looking after.

"I know, I'm sorry puppy, I won't taint you with a name like that" Quinn slapped her on the bicep for that remark, but knowing it was all teasing and she didn't really mean it.

"You two are terrible" Judy chuckled to herself

"I know" both girls accidentally said in unison. Their eyes met for a moment and then for a further awkward moment each of them had to fight a rising blush, their eyes quickly flickered to the puppy, Rachel still holding her, and Quinn petting her.

Rachel cleared her throat and looked to the mother in the room, she pretended to not notice that Judy had been watching their interaction "Oh Judy, when I found her she was gnawing at that box" she cringed with her words as she pointed to the box under the tree

"Oh no" Judy gasped and rushed over to pick up the item "Quinn, your camera" the damage didn't look that bad, just a soggy corner of wrapping paper and some tiny teeth marks, no real damage... except a spoiled surprise

"You got me a camera?" Quinn asked, all attention to the dog out the window

"Well, I wasn't sure what to get you so I just thought what _haven't_ you got that I can buy you" Judy passed Quinn the box

"I really wanted a camera but I didn't want to ask" she bit her lip shyly. Rachel couldn't help how she felt when she saw Quinn do that all the time.

"You should have, then I wouldn't have been worried" Judy laughed lightly. Quinn put the parcel back down meaning she'd open it later. Before she could actually thank her mom Rachel using a soft almost baby voice drew her in... it seemed to have the same effect on her mother as they just watched Rachel and her new friend.

"Hey little puppy girl, what shall we call you, you're like a lil panther... but a dog. My little dark midnight... nah, little dark... Raven..." she looked to Judy and Quinn "How about Raven?" then back to her new companion "What do you think puppy, can't call you 'puppy' forever can we?"

"Raven sounds good"

"Raven..." Rachel let it echo a moment, she then turned the puppy and held her close so they were nose to nose "is that okay with you puppy?" the dog seemed to raise an eyebrow as she glanced from side to side.

The Rachel did something to really worry the others in the room. She put on a tiny cutesy voice _"Yeah it sounds good. You're amazing"_

"Why thank you Raven, you're so kind" it was as if she was having a conversation with the puppy

"_We're gonna be fwends forever"_

"Yes we are, we really are, you are so cute I could squeeze you until you throw up"

"_Please don't"_

"Okay I won't, but I am gonna hug you and love you and take you for loads a walks and feed you and play with you all the time"

"_Sounds good"_

"Okay she's scaring me now, shall we take the puppy away?" Judy murmured to her daughter as both woman just stared at the brunette and her little companion

"I think it might kill her, they're together now" Quinn muttered back in the same worried tone

"Jealous?" Judy couldn't help but test, to see if Quinn had regretted her gift choice for Rachel.

"What?" Quinn snapped her attention to her mother

"Jealous that Raven might have replaced you?" Judy asked

"No" She scoffed _'As if'_

"No... Of course not... like Rachel could really replace you" Quinn just furrowed her brow at her mother's words and that smirk she was now trying to conceal by ducking her head as she searched for something on her phone.

"_Hey who are the pretty blondes?"_ they heard that tiny voice directed at them getting their attention back on the brunette.

"You don't already know?" Rachel asked the puppy lightly "You've spent a whole night with them"

"_Well they kept talking about how wonderful you are-"_

"Rachel stop it now, its getting weird" Quinn interrupted her bluntly

"Okay" Rachel pouted

"Rachel, smile" Judy asked as she held up her phone

"Why?" Rachel instantly looked worried and ready to hide behind newly named Raven

"I want to send your dad a picture" she said as if it was obvious

The happy glint in Rachel's eyes faltered "I don't know if that's a good idea" she mumbled against eh back of Raven's neck

"He told me very specifically to send him a picture" Judy said a little more sternly, still holding her phone up

"But-... O-okay" Rachel quickly gave in and posed with her new companion as Judy snapped the pic to send to Rachel's dad. She just hoped Hiram didn't find out, for Leroy's sake.

...

Rachel barely left her house for nearly the entire week between Christmas day and Leroy's return, which Rachel had marked on the family's calendar. The only time she did leave was when Judy sent Quinn over to drag Rachel and her new little buddy back to theirs, so they could make sure she was eating properly. Quinn would also check in from time to time, to see Raven really, she'd grown quite attached when she picked that dog out for Rachel and when she'd bought her home the day before actually giving her to Rachel.

So that's where Quinn found herself now, just sitting on the living room floor opposite Rachel with Raven between them. Quinn had noted how Rachel liked to pick Raven up often, she wondered if she should have got Rachel something smaller, a little lap dog, as Raven would soon grow too big to carry round. Rachel was happy though, so she shouldn't really be worrying about that.

"My mom and I are going to the mall" Quinn sounded regretful, meaning she meant she'd have to leave soon.

"Aww you're going shopping with your mommy?" Rachel teased as she played tug with the still little German shepherd

"She says she needs a new outfit for some lame ass office new years party tonight and she wanted me to go with her... I don't really mind, it's nice bonding with her" Quinn almost talked absent minded as she stroked Raven who was rolling around on the floor, her rope chew toy clamped between her puppy paws as she rolled around "She's just so much happier since..."

"The divorce?" Rachel asked when Quinn didn't finish the sentence

"No, not then, she wasn't happy after that... I was worried she was going to... I don't know" her focus was on raven the entire time she spoke. It was as if she couldn't talk seriously to Rachel, she always ended up in tears or feeling sick when they did "she was drinking a lot, I was worried she was an alcoholic, that she'd need help but I didn't know what to do. Then you and Leroy moved in and... he's been the best thing for her, getting her a job, getting her out of the house"

"He's needed the friendship too, believe me" Rachel added "And I guess, your friendship for me hasn't been so bad... I got a puppy out of it"

"You're welcome" Quinn rolled her eyes

"Only joking Quinn, you know you're my best friend..."

"And you're mine" She finally replied letting Rachel relax "Not that we exactly look like the type of people to be best friends"

"Because image is everything?"

"No... It used to for me but not anymore. I didn't mean it like that really I just meant that if I thought back to august when you moved in next door I thought there was no way in hell we'd ever get along"

"I didn't think I'd ever get you to tolerate me but you seemed to soften to my charm pretty quick" she smirked

"Charm? Is that what you call it" Quinn scoffed "I thought it was called alcohol"

"I think you just needed some attention, not sitting in your room waiting for some unworthy ass holes to message you" she snapped bitterly, then regretted it when she noticed Quinn bow her head almost ashamed of that very short time from her past "sorry"

"No, you're right. It was actually my best summer ever" she managed to smile "No cheerleading camp, and it wasn't right after I gave Beth up and... I had a lot of fun"

"Well just wait until next summer, I'll make it even better before you run off to Yale"

"And where will you be running off to at the end of the summer"

"I don't know" she picked Raven up and put her in her lap "What do you think Raven, where should we go?" she asked the puppy. Quinn wasn't stupid she could see Rachel was being deflective

"_Rrroad trip"_

Quinn had to try so hard to suppress a smile at Rachel using that cutesy tiny voice for her dog again "You've got to stop doing that, it's weird"

Her words only seemed to encourage Rachel as she turned Raven round and made her look at Quinn _"But look at me I'm so cute, don't you think I'm cute Quinn?"_

"Yes Raven, you're cute" she conceded but just that one time

"What about me?" Rachel dared to ask

"You're okay I guess" Quinn shrugged "A bit weird"

"Thanks" she muttered dryly

"I better go, my mom wanted to leave for the mall half an hour ago" She actually stood up to leave this time, not just saying it but forcing herself to leave

"Oops" Rachel got up too, picking Raven up

"Yeah... I think I'd actually rather stay here with you Raven" she talked like you might to a baby as she ran a hand over Ravens head, between her pointy ears.

"So you're allowed to talk to the dog in a tiny voice but I'm not?" Rachel raised an eyebrow of judgement.

"You're allowed to talk to her but not for her, its weird" Quinn explained before she realised "sorry I gotta go" she started backing away to the front door.

"It's okay. My dad should be back in an hour or two, so I better do some chores"

"Okay. We'll go to Santana's party together right. I'll drive?" Quinn asked, checking their plan, as she opened the front door and stepped out.

"Sure, see you about 8?" Rachel checked too

"Okay, see you later"

"Have fun at the mall" Rachel teased

Quinn stopped at the bottom of the porch steps to ask "Do you hate the mall or something?"

"I loathe shopping trips" Rachel ground out, while holding onto Raven who was starting to squirm.

"You wait until we need dresses for Prom"

"Who says I'm going to Prom" Rachel laughed

"You're not going to go?"

"I wouldn't be seen dead there" she immediately noticed the drop in Quinn's expression "hey don't look disappointed, you'll be too busy with your lucky date to notice me missing"

"Yeah right, of course" she nodded "See you later" she waved "You too cutie" she looked to Raven

"You talking to me?" Rachel asked with faux hopefulness

"No, Raven" Quinn smirked before finally turning away

"Damn" Rachel muttered into the back of Raven's head before she turned away

...

The music was loud the lighting low and the alcohol flowing at Santana's new years eve party. Quinn leant against the wall and sipped at the alcohol free liquid worrying.

'_So much for 'see you at 8''_ she thought to herself

"What's with the sour face Q?" Santana strolled up next to her "Oh I get it, Rachel's not here... no one to kiss at midnight then" she slurred and smirked

"Don't be stupid" Quinn ground out

"She's actually a really good kisser; you don't know what you're missing"

"Just shut up Santana" she spat her words a little more forcefully before sighing roughly and walking away

She didn't get far before Santana clumsily grabbed her arm "No hang on... do you- is there anything really there?"

"No, god no" she pulled her arm free "She's not here so yeah I'm kinda worried, because she's my _friend_. And I'm sick of having to make that clear all the damn time"

When midnight did roll around various people found a partner to kiss. When Quinn saw Sam kiss Mercedes she felt a little uneasy. It seemed no one knew about Mercedes spiteful behaviour at the concert. She felt she should tell Sam but at the same time she knew it was best to no interfere.

Her attention caught Blaine next who had his hands and mouth occupied by anonymous cheerleader. When she had to divert her gaze from that image she quickly found Kurt with his forlorn expression as he watched Blaine practically make out with the random girl. He caught Quinn watching him, with a half smile he held his cup up in some sort of 'Happy New Year' Salute. She just did the same

Maybe an hour later as the party started dying down Quinn head her cell phone ring. She pulled it out of her cardigan pocket, the screen read: Ronnie

She quickly answered, instantly worried that a friend she didn't really have much contact with, but Rachel still did, was calling her "Hello?"

"_Hey Quinn"_ she could barely her because of background noise on Ronnie's end

"What the hell is that noise?" she had to plug a finger in her own free ear too and find an unoccupied room or space so she could hear better.

"_Hang on"_ she heard Ronnie say as she assumable did the same _"Sorry we're at a club, I'm outside now. Rachel's... something's wrong with her. She hasn't even been here that long, maybe an hour or two, she said she was with some girl called Raven, and now she's here and she's been drinking really heavily"_

"What happened?" Quinn asked as she slid the glass door to the back yard closed behind her

"_She's just drinking a lot more than she said she would, actually its more than she normally does or even did before she started getting better for you"_

"I'll come get her" Quinn suggested without even second thought. She hated thinking of Rachel in trouble or hurting herself

"_I just don't get what's up with her, she was really pissed off and then she started drinking heavily and she made out with like 7 girls already, and I mean really making out with them, she nearly got in a fight with one of the girls boyfriends... it didn't last long before the guy got chucked out for starting the fight"_

"Just tell me where you are, I'll be there as soon as I can" Quinn encouraged, while suddenly finding herself congratulating herself mentally for not drinking tonight

"_We're just at the place we always go, the first one she took you to"_

"I remember. I'll be there soon. If you can, can you get Rachel outside and wait with her there for me before she can get into any more trouble" she headed back in and through the remaining guests, stopping by the closet by the front door to grab her jacket

"_Yeah, no problem, I can do that" _Ronnie seemed to be mirroring Quinn's actions again as the back ground noise on the other end of the line got louder _"Well be by the parking lot" _

"Okay, just leaving" and with that the phone line was cut off. Quinn opened the closet to get her coat and was just relieved when she didn't find people in there doing something that would have made her uncomfortable... well it was only a cliché thing to happen at an average high school party.

"Where you going, Q?" Santana surprised her by catching her at the front door, she was amazed that the Latina wasn't already in her room with her girlfriend.

"Nowhere, just gotta go" she grabbed the front door handle and yanked it open

"No Q, wait" she called after Quinn, suddenly sounding far more sober "Is Berry okay?"

"She's just being herself" Quinn shrugged irritated "I gotta go before she goes too far"

Quinn left Santana wondering if the blonde would ever realise just how much she cared for Rachel.

...

When Quinn pulled up outside the club she saw Ronnie propping up an exhausted and dazed looking Rachel who had her arms wrapped tightly round her sides. She stopped her car right next to them, the passenger door right in front of her (most likely) reluctant passenger. She wound the passenger window down and ducked her head to look out as Ronnie and Rachel walked over "Hey Ronnie"

"Hey Q" she offered a half smile as she opened the door and gently pushed Rachel towards it

"Hy Quinn" Rachel slurred merrily as she was helped into the car

"Thanks for this" Ronnie said apologetically

"It's okay" Quinn told her. Ronnie put the seat belt half way round Rachel, Quinn took it from her to actually buckle the belt for Rachel, as she could see better from her side "Sorry about this"

"Why are you sorry?" Ronnie scrunched her face, not understanding why Quinn was apologising

"I guess I'm just saying sorry for Rachel" she sighed

"Don be sorry" Rachel interrupted "I hd a great time"

"See you later guys" Ronnie laughed lightly before she slammed the car door shut

"See ya Ronnie" Quinn called back before pulling away, and closing the passenger window in case Rachel managed to miraculously fall out. "Seriously Rach, I thought you'd changed" she couldn't help

"Wha's the poin... no-one caress. It make no dif-rence... m stll lone" Wow, even Rachel's mood dropped from a moment ago. She lazily dropped her head to lean against the cool surface of the glass window

"What? What do you mean, Rach?" she looked over to see Rachel with her head leaning away and immediately imagined the girl might be sleeping "no Rach, don't fall asleep I can't carry you out of the car when we get home"

"M not evn sleepy" she snap slurred back

"Sure you're not, you just thought the window needed cleaning with your head"

"Mybe" she lazily rolled her head away from the window to look back at Quinn "Whas wrng wiv yu?"

"Nothing" she didn't sound very convincing

"Are yu mad a me?" Rachel pouted

"Yeah I am" she snapped "you didn't tell me you weren't going to Santana's tonight, I was worried sick when I went to your house to pick you up and you _and Raven_ weren't there"

"I took er fer a wlk" she shrugged

"Late night dog walking, with a puppy, that's stupid... you know I couldn't even relax because I had no clue where you were and you weren't answering your cell. I didn't even drink" she could have laughed at how much she worried for her best friend "Which was kinda lucky seeing as Ronnie called so I could drive your drunk ass home"

"Yur so sw-eet" Rachel cooed

"No, I'm just an idiot. Why didn't you just go to Santana's?" she groaned

"No pretty grls there who wanna kiss me" Rachel was going through many emotions with now "Wha dyu care anyway?" she asked lowly

"I don't like getting calls at one in the morning saying you've been in a fight and you might get in another one and you're drinking too much" this wasn't about Quinn and how she'd gone out of her way though, she was just worried about Rachel and the fact Ronnie felt their mutual friend needed Quinn's help in the first place "I don't want you getting hurt"

"Yur no ma mom Quinn" she slurred defensively

"No, I'm not, but maybe you should stop acting like you need one" she let out a long sigh, trying to ease the anger and tension she felt right now "Sorry, I was just worried" she admitted

"Don worry" Rachel waved dismissively "Yur relly great Quinn" she complimented "Yur da best"

Noticing something out of the corner of her eyes she chanced another glance at her passenger, who was now holding a half full bottle of vodka "Where the hell did you get that?"

"Tha bar guy relly likes me" she grinned before taking another swig

"Please stop drinking" Quinn whined. She'd reach across and take the bottle but she didn't want any alcohol spilt in her car and she dint; feel like having an accident tonight.

"M not drivin" well at least Rachel's logic was still in tact

"What is Leroy going to say when he sees you like this?" Quinn just sighed while continuing to concentrate on the roads ahead of them

"He's not ome, he h-ates me" came a hiccupped reply

"He said he'd be back today" Quinn said, just confused at what had gone wrong.

Rachel shrugs "Well he ain't"

By the time they'd got home Rachel wasn't even making sense any more. Even in her drunken state she was good at defecting and side tracking. Quinn didn't want her staying home alone in this state so she decided to drag her to her own house, at least she'd be more likely to prevent Rachel from drowning in her own sick this way.

Getting Rachel just into her own house proved hard enough though. As soon as Quinn pulled up on her own driveway Rachel was trying to get out the car, before she'd even undone her seatbelt. Quinn hit the button for her and released the drunk girl. She stumbled at first but then just about found her footing, only she wasn't heading the way Quinn wanted

"Rachel, where are you going?" she whispered harshly as she followed Rachel

"Why dya let me fink evrythin was fine, yu liar... lair!" she drunkenly yelled at her house... well when else would you yell at a house. She waved the bottle with her words, throwing vodka onto the grass and path in front of her house "Yu shulda let me go, shulda left me alone! Not made me fink I was special" she threw the mostly empty glass bottle. The bottle landed with a dull thud on the front lawn, the last of the liquid spilling out onto the grass "Liar!" she yelled before she dropped to her knees "...liar" she sobbed

"Rach, come on" Quinn cautiously placed her hands on Rachel's' shoulders "Lets get you inside"

The brunette looked round her, confused "Where m drink?"

"You threw it away" Quinn told her

"Oh... m an idiot" she slurred

"I know" Quinn told her softly as she helped her to stand

.

"Where we goin'?" Quinn was barely able to hold Rachel up as she stumbled on the stairs

"I need to get you upstairs, get you to bed" Quinn told her

"I thought a gurl like you would need ta be taken on a date first, yur not that easy"

"No, you're sleeping by yourself in the guest room-" she suddenly realised something "Shit"

Rachel was confused "I don need ta go"

"What? No eww... I just remembered- never mind" she just remembered neither of the guest room's beds were made up so she couldn't just leave her in that room "Here we are, another step" she encouraged as she quickly re-planned

"I'd appreciate your input" Rachel whispered into her ear

"Huh? What? Oh lets just get you to bed"

"Bout time"

"No Rach... I know the sensible you is in there somewhere, and you know what I mean" she took her through to her own room, and helped Rachel toward and onto her bed. While the drunk girl was still sitting Quinn decided to tackle her jacket first. It was already open so she just had to push it off Rachel's shoulder

Rachel's arms found their way round Quinn's waste and pulled her onto her lap "You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel" she whispered heavily in Quinn's ear

"Aren't those lyrics" Quinn furrowed her borrow as she easily freed herself from Rachel's grip "And how come you don't slur when its lyrics?"

"I dunno" she probably did know really though "Yur so swee Quinn, so swee-t" Quinn knelt in front of Rachel to remove her boots "Bu ist no fair"

"Rachel, you're not making any sense, just try and rest yeah" she struggled with the boot

"I wan you so baad" Rachel whined

"You're drunk" Quinn just told her as she continued to wrestle with the boot

"No, - I mean yah, I am. Bu I know I wan yu. Yur so hot, bu ist not jst that, yur so nice, an smart, an funny" she tried to confess

"Rach, keep still" Quinn complained "no give me your foot"

"Yur not listenin"

"I am, I'm just trying to take your shoes off"

"No Quinn" she clumsily grabbed Quinn's wrists and looked down at the blonde with sad eyes "I luff you"

Quinn broke the eye contact and cringed "I know" she grabbed Rachel's foot again "Just hold still a second, yeah?"

"You know?" Rachel fell back to lie on the bed, feet still dangling over the side "how- Who?"

"Santana" the blonde sighed as she succeeded in removing Rachel's footwear

"Tha bitch, I wan-ed ta tell you first" she deflated, in spirit and in energy "Quinn"

"Yeah?"

"It hurts" she sat up again, immediately regretting it when she felt dizzy

"You got hurt?" Quinn sat next to Rachel and quickly swept the brunettes hair off of her face to check for injuries "I heard you got into a fight, are you okay?"

"Ist not that, ist you, it hurts Quinn, so much. Some days I wsh we'd never met, or I never tr-ied to be your friend, cos I- I-" tears started to spill from the chocolate orbs

"Okay, Rach, you've had a lot to drink, just try and sleep yeah" She got up and gently pushed Rachel back to lie down again and pulled Rachel's feet up and onto the bed so she laying properly. As she backed away she heard Rachel again.

"Where you going?" she sounded so vulnerable

"Just sleep okay" she switched the light out "Oh, I'll try and find a bucket but if you puke in my room, I will kill you"

She saw Rachel lazily put her thumb up, as recognition that she heard, meaning Quinn could leave.

She didn't close the door complete, she left it open just a small amount so Rachel wouldn't have any trouble with a door handle in a quick escape.

Quinn then decided to head over to Rachel's house to check on Raven. The puppy had been slumbering in her cage until Quinn switched the kitchen light on. When Raven saw Quinn approach her tail started wagging, thumbing against the base of her bed inside the cage

"Hey girl" the blonde greeted softly "I don't like this thing" she said as she slid the bolt on the door of the small crate sized cage bed, freeing its little prisoner "Come on" she encouraged Raven to the back door so she could let her out into the back yard. Raven padded after her, her claws clicking on the hard wood flooring "I know they said the cage is just for night times or when no one else is in the house, so you don't get in trouble, but I still don't like it" she slid the door open and Raven immediately stepped out into the cold night air "maybe we should get Rachel a cage so she can't get into trouble either" Quinn noted amused, as she stepped outside with the dog, keeping an eye on her "Do you know why she turned like that tonight?" she looked down at Raven who just tilted her head at Quinn's intriguing tone "I'm disappointed, I really am, I mean how could she do that to you" she wrapped her arms round her "how could she do that to me?" she wondered a little lower. She then blinked in realisation "Oh great now I'm talking to a dog" she looked back down at the puppy who was still watching her "Come on" she nodded her head back to the door

.

Once Raven was settled again Quinn headed back to her own house. She was upstairs in the hall closet taking out bed sheets for the spare room when she heard the front door open and close and then someone walk up the stairs

"Quinn?"

"Hey mom" she called softly over her shoulder as Judy approached

"You're home? I thought you were going to stay over at Santana's"

"Yeah that was the plan-" she started to explain but was cut off by a noise beyond them.

They both turned away to catch Rachel falling out of Quinn's room. She saw the two blondes watching her "Hey Judes!" she yelled before her face dropped and she ran to the bathroom on the opposite side of the hall.

Judy just looked back at her daughter, eye brow raised "Rachel's here? In your room?"

"I'm sleeping in the guest room" she emphasised the sheets in arms "I got a call from Ronnie just after midnight, she said Rachel was really drunk and... I was just worried okay? I didn't want her home alone, in case she drowns in her own vomit or something" the mother daughter pair pretended they didn't hear the heaving coming from the bathroom

"Isn't Leroy back yet?" Judy asked worried

"No, he didn't come back, I don't know why. It's hard enough trying to get her to talk about personal things when she's sober"

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know, I've never seen her like this" of course she didn't plan on sharing what Rachel had just told her, with her mom "She got really drunk at a club tonight" she explained that this didn't happen at "I should take that fake ID away from her"

"You're not her mother... or her girlfriend"

"I know, but I'm supposed to be her best friend, I should look out for her more. She could get hurt"

"Rachel's strong, don't worry too much about her. She probably feels life isn't being fair to her right now, it will all pass" Judy squeezed her daughters shoulder

Quinn just sighed and abandoned finding the bed sheets to go save Rachel yet again, in case she got her head stuck down the toilet, or worse, had missed the bowel all together. She found Rachel laying on he bathroom floor, but luckily she hadn't missed the toilet "Oh f-" she cut herself off and took action instead. she flushed the chain on the toilet and sprayed the air freshener in case she gagged from the odour of sick

"I'll get her some water" Judy said as she passed the door and headed back downstairs

"Thanks mom" Quinn called after her before returning her attention to Rachel. "Rach" she tried to puller her up "Come on Rach, you can't sleep on the bathroom floor"

"Quinn" she groaned as she helped Quinn out and actually sat up "Sorry" she mumbled

"What's that?"

"M so sorry Quinn, ll go home now. I rlly m sorry, for everyfing" she fell closer toward Quinn "I really mean everyfing" she then tried to get up "I'll just go home"

"Rach you're not going anywhere, just go back to my room and get some sleep"

"Ist not fair to yu or yur mom... or Raven" she leant against the bathroom counter staring at herself in the mirror, furrowing her brow as if she didn't recognise herself

Judy stopped in the doorway again and placed a glass of water in front of Rachel "No, Rachel, it's more than fine. You're staying" the brunette gratefully drank, and rinsed her mouth "Have you got her?" Judy asked Quinn

"Yeah, we're fine, come on Rach. Help me out a little" she put an arm round Rachel to support her and started walking them back to her room "I checked on Raven, she's okay but I wasn't sure if we should bring her over"

"I'll go get her and her crate and move her over here" thankfully Judy hadn't drunk much, if anything, at her own party so thankfully Quinn had a person on her side right now "I know she'll be sleeping most of the night but we can't leave her"

"That's what I thought but I didn't want to bring her over without your permission"

"Quinn we looked after her when we picked her up Christmas eve"

"I know I was just checking" she said defensively

"Yu guys are so nice ta me" Rachel interrupted with a slur

"You better take her back to your room" Judy encouraged "I'll get Raven"

Quinn just nodded and took Rachel back to her own room. This time when she tried to leave Rachel caught her wrist

"Stay, please"

"Rachel" Quinn warned

"I'm not gonna try anyfing Q, I'd never do that to yu, yu know that" she wasn't slurring as much that was for sure, and Quinn did trust her "I just don't wanna be alone"

"Okay" the blonde girl conceded, kicking her shoes off "move over"

"Huh?" Rachel asked, half drunk, half just surprised

"You're on my side, I take the left"

"Oh" she instantly scooted over "tha-s cool, I'm more of a righty an-way" She waited until Quinn was lying next to her before she muttered "I really am sorry Quinn"

"You've got nothing to be sorry for"

"I shoul-n't be yur friend, I'm gonna get yu hurt"

"No you're not" Quinn nudged Rachel in the side with he elbow

"I hurt everyone, I'm why they divorced, I'm why my lil bro and sis cried themselves to sleep... I'm a fuck up" Rachel started sobbing softly, Quinn couldn't help but put an arm round her. She'd never seen Rachel this vulnerable, especially when she cuddled up against Quinn's side. Quinn had never even thought of Rachel as tiny until this moment... well the boots she wore always made her just a bit taller.

"Rach, it's okay" she'd ask Rachel what was wrong, in the state she was in Quinn thought Rachel would actually answer, but the vulnerable girl in her arms didn't deserve to be taken advantage of like that.

Quinn just waited and let Rachel tire herself out. She heard noises downstairs as Judy bought Raven into their house, then went to bed herself. By then Rachel was asleep, snoring softly.

"I'm sorry Rach, sorry I'm hurting you. I'm sorry I can't be... with you" she sighed as she held back tears of her own "It just wouldn't work"

...

When Rachel woke the next morning she found herself alone, in Quinn's room. Her mouth felt like sandpaper and her head felt like an elephant has sat on it. She tried to search her memories from last night but they were hazy at the beginning of the evening and blank towards the end.

It suddenly registered to her she was in _Quinn's_ room. She scrambled to sit up, pushing past her head ache and the nausea and looking around her. No Quinn, that was probably a good thing. She checked her state of dress under the covers, no Jeans, that probably wasn't a good thing.

The worst possible scenarios went through her head, did she scare Quinn off, did she dare try something in her drunken state, even though she promised herself she would never do exactly that.

"Oh good you're awake" Quinn greeted far too cheery for firth thing in the morning. Maybe that was a good thing though, Rachel thought to herself, it meant anything that happened or didn't happen last night Quinn wasn't angry... unless she was acting. She put a glass of water and a packet of pain killers on the bedside table next to Rachel

"Uh Quinn?" She started to worry again; Quinn was wearing a robe

"Yeah" she sat down on the edge of the bed besides Rachel.

"How... how did I get here last night?

"Ronnie called me, I came and picked you up before you got hurt. I didn't want you drowning in your own sick so I bought you back here" Quinn easily explained the whole thing putting Rachel at ease"I was going to put you in the guest room but I remembered the bed wasn't made, and I couldn't just leave you on the floor so, I put you in here, so I could take the guest room"

"So I slept here alone?" Rachel checked cautiously

"Well that was the plan" Quinn bit her bottom lip to suppress a grin.

"What?" Rachel felt her face and stomach drop with worry

"You wouldn't keep your hands to yourself, and then the next thing I know..." Quinn blushed. She leant forward, placing a hand on Rachel's sheet covered knee "just know that even though you were drunk, you were really um, talented, and so tender and-"

"You're kidding right?" she climbed off the bed in a panic trying to find her jeans "Where are my pants?"

"I don't know, you threw them somewhere declaring you'd never need them again"

"Oh god, Quinn" she panicked and jumped to being apologetic.

"Just so you know Rach, even with the state you were in... it was the most romantic night of my life" Quinn told her as she tried to get closer to Rachel.

"Oh god, you're joking right, you have to be, I'd never do that to you-" And for a moment there Rachel hated herself more than she already did, as a conflicting selfish thought popped into her head. She wasn't sure what was worse, the idea she might have done that and pressured Quinn or that she might have done that and now can't remember what would have probably been the greatest night of her life

"Rach, relax, it was a joke" Quinn chuckled. She took her robe off to reveal she was fully clothes underneath, like she had been all night

"That's not funny" Rachel breathed heavily as she felt her heart return to its normal pace

"It was a little funny" Quinn smirked

"No it wasn't" she pouted

"Don't pout" Quinn teased a little more "You're allowed to flirt and tease me but I'm not allowed to tease you?"

"No" Rachel managed a playful pout this time "Where are my jeans?" she asked again, remembering how exposed she was right now

"You threw up a couple of times last night, the second time you kinda missed the toilet and then knelt in it" Quinn looked like she was about to be sick as she remembered that point last night "I put your jeans in a trash bag for you to take home and clean later, and then I cleaned the floor" she added the last part to make Rachel feel a little guilty.

"I am so, so sorry. Can I make it up to you?"

"I'm sure you will" she walked over to her closet to get Rachel some replacement pants "Here, I'll lend you some sweat pants"

"Thanks"

"I'm really, really sorry Quinn"

"It's okay"

"It's not though is it. I promise I won't ever do anything like this to you again"

"Like what?" Quinn paused her search for a pair of replacement pants, she was suspicious that Rachel might have remember the night before, and the things she said.

"Just, the getting drunk, then Ronnie calling you to save me, and then throwing up everywhere. Just sorry for leaning on you like that, I won't do it again"

"Its fine" she passed Rachel a pair grey sweat pants "here... they might be a little long on you" she warned

"Thanks" Rachel took them gratefully and started to slip them on. Quinn made sure to look away afrisd she'd get caught and Rachel would assume she was being checked out "Oh my god Raven" Rachel suddenly realised and it kicked her into action, she started to hurry and struggle to pull the sweats on in a panic "oh god I knew I shouldn't have gone out"

"It's okay she's-" they were interrupted by soft padding footsteps of the puppy herself walking through the open door and rushing over to her human as soon as she recognised her "She's right here"

"Hey Rae" Rachel greeted. The little dog stopped to stretch and yawn on the carpet, making Quinn and Rachel soften at the image. She then turned menacing as she saw the end of the pant leg moving she pounced, grabbing it between rows on needle like teeth to play tug with the clothing "No these are Quinn's sweat pants" Rachel scolded as she struggled to stay standing, mostly so she didn't accidentally land on the puppy "Raven no" she said more sternly.

Raven did loosen her grip enough for Rachel to free the sweat pants and finally finish putting them on

Quinn chuckled "She's so cute"

"Best present ever" Rachel smiled at the puppy then to Quinn "Thank you"

"Thank you too, for the bracelet, I love it" she ran a hand over the bracelet currently on her wrist.

"That's okay, it was nothing too special... thought you could wear it all the time and not worry about losing it" she muttered shyly

"It is special, you chose it" Quinn wasn't entirely sure of what she herself meant by that.

"Did your mom really like the earrings, I really wasn't sure" Rachel asked. The mood had definitely dipped in the past few seconds.

"Yeah she liked them, she wore them last night" silence settled as the subject matter ran out of places to go "Rach... Why didn't your dad come home yesterday?"

"He said his flight was cancelled, but I looked online, it was on time, he just wanted to spend more time with them" she shrugged as she sat on the floor and entertained Raven "I get it, they're his kids he hasn't seen them since we moved here but... he promised, you know?" she repressed her tears "He said he'd be home in time for new years so we'd spend new years day together, and with you and Judy maybe" she shook her head at her own lame unimportant ideas "I booked his return flight so he'd be back before last night... I thought we might stay in together or even go our separate ways but either way he'd be here now and we'd be having breakfast and he could tell me about his trip and I could tell him about all the trouble I got in..."

"I'm so sorry he didn't make it Rach... I'm sure he has a good reason though"

"Yeah, he realised life with the rest of his family was too good" Rachel decided before anyone else could make up their own mind on the situation

They heard the doorbell ring. Downstairs Judy went to answer the door, obviously wondering who it could be.

"Leroy" She said surprised when she found her friend on the doorstep

"Hi Judy, is Rachel here?" he asked anxiously "She's not next door and I'm really worried, I was hoping she might be here"

"She's upstairs" she nodded and he sighed with relief "come in" Judy ushered him inside

"Dad? He looked up to find Rachel with a puppy in her arms on the stairs, Quinn just a few stairs behind and higher than her.

"Rachel, thank god you're okay" that was a questionable statement though really

"You're back... I thought you were staying with them"

"No of course not" he sighed

"But you're late" she reminded him "Why? You wanted to stay with them for new years?"

"You really won't believe it" he chuckled but she wasn't laughing

"Try me" she said bluntly. She walked to the bottom of the stairs, mainly to hear him better and in case Raven chose to wriggle free, she could put her down easily.

"Well, I tried to get an earlier flight, so I would have got back by lunch time yesterday. That way we could catch up then you could go to whatever party and maybe I could go catch up with Judy. But the flight I switched for was delayed"

"What?" Okay that was kinda weird and hard to believe. Judy and Quinn shared a look, both wondering if they should leave Leroy and Rachel to speak without an audience.

"Yeah delayed then cancelled and I couldn't even get my original seat back on the flight you booked for me... I had to wait for the rescheduled flight this morning. I hoped something else earlier would come up. And I tried calling but you weren't answering the home phone or your cell"

"You could have phoned Judy and Quinn" Rachel redirected her guilt back onto him

"I didn't want them to worry... I should have though, looks like you had a rough night" he half smiled, seeing the bags under her eyes

"It wasn't that bad" not that she could remember most of it

"So this is your puppy?" he stepped forward reaching out for the dog, offering his hand to Raven for her to inspect before he pet her

"Yeah, Raven" Rachel introduced.

"That's nice" he smiled

"I can't believe you let them get me a puppy" she couldn't hold back that smile

"It was Quinn's idea, she's the one who talked to me about it a couple of weeks ago" he explained his meagre involvement.

With things cleared up for now and guilty consciences still needing to be fixed Judy invited the three Berry's to stay for breakfast, for the four humans to have a catch up and relax after the mess of a night before. Leroy and Rachel silently agreed they'd talk about the details of his trip when they were home alone later.

"So Judy, did I miss anything worthy at the office party last night" Leroy asked, deciding to kick start an easier conversation

"Well... you would not believe how drunk Catherine got last night" she sounded merciless, obviously they didn't like this Catherine much. Rachel and Quinn shared discrete glances across the table in amusement at the mothers malicious tone

"Sensible Catherine?" Leroy's intrigued tone seemed to match Judy's opinion thought.

"Not so sensible anymore" she smirked as she poured more coffee "After she tried dancing on one of the tables she disappeared. Amanda and I were taking bets that she was passed out under a desk somewhere"

"Did anyone find her?"

"Yep, found her with Jamie in the copy room, groping like teenagers"

"But Jamie, he's only an intern, she's old enough to be his mom"

"I know"

Leroy shook his head, amused at the behaviour "How cliché" he chuckled again. Rachel shook her head too, catching Quinn's attention, they just smiled again, amused at their parents behaviour, they were just a pair of old gossips really. "What about you Rach, get lucky?"

She avoided looking at Quinn as she put some faux confidence on for her dad's sake "You bet, I don't even remember her name" she played the player, though she didn't entirely remember everything that happened in that club "her boyfriend wasn't too happy" okay so she remembered that.

"I heard it was more like 7 _lucky_ girls" Quinn jabbed with a smirk, trying to embarrass her friend in front of the parents and failing as Rachel just turned to her

With an ashamed look on her face she said "I think I'm the lucky one"

"Yeah?" she rose a perfect eyebrow

"Yeah, someone was kind hearted enough to take me home before I got into a fight I can't handle, or before I had an accident" her eyes were so soft yet intensely connected with Quinn's opposite her "Thank you Quinn"

"A-Anytime" Quinn wasn't sure why she stuttered and she really wasn't sure why she was fighting the rising blush on her cheeks. Maybe it was Rachel's heartfelt and serious tone, maybe it was the genuine words of gratitude, maybe it was just the girl and the memories of words from last night when she sounded serious, though slurred, last night. Either way Quinn wasn't entirely sure if she liked the feelings she was getting.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks aquarius127 for the German shepherd puppy idea!<strong>

**I know this fic is probably getting annoying by now but just hold on, i swear, Quinn will 'wake up' soon.**

**Let me know what you think...**


	16. We All Want

**Thanks for the reviews and comments: YourInnate, Musicfutbolfan6, LoveSKINS94, lemon-rind, zoe, nikq, itsDraaaaaven, kutee, supernena25, ichigo111981, iamirreplazable, rqfaberry, Guest, anon, TrustInFaith, rolling-in-district-5, aquarius127, Don't forget to breath and Guest**

**So I'm starting to get a mixed response. Lots of ideas like distance for the girls, struggles, suffering, professional help etc floating round and as I've had most of the rest of this fic planned out for a few weeks I might as well let you know most of those things will be happening. Hope you all stick around.**

**Posted: 21/7/13**

* * *

><p><span>We all want<span>

"So how was your trip?" Rachel asked her dad shortly after they returned to their house. They both planned on showering and changing before going back to the Fabray's later, most likely to cook and then sit down together

"It was good" Leroy was a little torn as to what to say, of course he wanted to assure his daughter that he'd had a good 'vacation' and appreciated her forcefully sending him but he didn't want to sound too happy.

"How are Becca and Adam?" Rachel asked, that's all she really wanted to know, she really missed them.

"They asked about you" he couldn't help but smile. So much for going upstairs to unpack, he thought, happily, as he took a seat at the breakfast bar encouraging Rachel to do the same

"They did?" she smiled shyly as she slipped onto another chair

"Yeah they asked why you weren't there and why we hadn't been in contact"

"I can't imagine that was easy to explain" she snorted as she absently twiddled her thumbs "they're only young... what did _he_ say then?" she mumbled bitterly

"Oh... he was just himself" Leroy shrugged

"Oh" she looked down to find Raven staring up at her expectantly. She gave in pretty quickly and picked the puppy up to sit on her lap, she noted of course that she wouldn't be able to do this much longer, Raven would be no lap dog pretty soon.

"But we ignored it" Leroy continued, watching his daughter who looked like she was trying to hide in Raven's saggy skin "I showed them the picture Judy sent me, of you with Raven. They were really jealous you got a puppy. And they really miss you"

"Are they okay though?" she asked with watery eyes

"Yeah. Becca started singing lessons. She wishes you could be there to help her though, and Adam, he's as lively as ever" Leroy chuckled to himself "Turns out he doesn't like football he likes Soccer. Hiram was kinda pissed after he bought all the equipment and uniforms for football only for Adam to change his mind"

"He's only 8. You wouldn't want him playing football anyway" Rachel laughed lightly too

"I know" Leroy agreed easily

After a pause Rachel cautiously asked "Was _he_ angry that I was mentioned?"

"You were more than mentioned Rach" Leroy sighed "we talked about you all the time. You should have been there"

"What did _he_ say though?" She asked again

"Oh you know-"

"Don't do that, don't try and soften anything, just tell me. Was he angry?" she asked a little more sternly.

"Not at them, but when they went to bed the first night he was pissed. I just smiled at him, as he tried not to shout. It got to him Rach, they still love you, they want us all back together just like I do"

"He doesn't though. It doesn't matter. I'm just happy they're okay" she sounded like she was trying to assure herself more of that that her father.

"I'm going to get them back" He sounded quite determined

"I hope so" she kissed the back of Raven's head, just focusing on the dog to stop herself feeling sick, guilty, or just like crying

"And I'm going to talk to him about them visiting. If I flew out there and then flew back here with them and you could pick us up at the air port" he explained his plan, still to his daughter who couldn't meet his gaze.

"Don't bother, he won't allow it" she muttered, bitterly again "He just thinks I'm going to hurt them, and who can blame him"

"Rachel!" Leroy didn't mean to snap, it just kind of happened

"What?" She sighed

"Stop saying things like that" his voice was stressed "I don't like it when you tear yourself down"

She finally turned in her seat, Raven starting to wriggle a little in her arms "Sorry, but-"

He quickly cut her off "There's no 'but' about it, just stop it, it's not true you don't hurt people"

"But-"

"No" he raised an eyebrow "What did I just say?"

"Dad" she tiny chuckle broke in her voice, she couldn't help it, he had a way of softening her even during such a discussion.

"Yes" he eyed her suspiciously

Rachel bit her lip with worry "...I'm sorry"

"Please" he sighed, he'd heard it all before, and he didn't need to hear it again, and he didn't need to repeat himself about how she was wrong. He was also afraid of where this road of self hate might lead Rachel... maybe he needed to talk to someone about this.

"...fine" she sighed and let Raven free to the floor again. The puppy happily padded away to have a drink from her bowl then find a nice corner to curl up in for a snooze.

In the silence, and while he still had Rachel's attention Leroy quickly found another subject for them to discuss "...So when I got home, I was looking for you. When I went to your room I found some interesting things on your desk"

"You went through my stuff?" she accused him

"No" he confidently defended "I noticed the various pieces of paper on the top of the stuff on your desk and I noticed the big logos on the pages" Leroy narrowed his eyes at his daughter "Are you looking at colleges?"

"You already know I'm not" she scoffed and folded her arms like a 5 year old

"Why not?" not that he was disappointed, he and his husband had always been ones to push their children but in the fragile state Rachel was now in he was afraid, so the question was just curiosity.

"I don't know, college is so expensive and... its too late for me to get a scholarship with the dip in my grades over the past 18 months. I just don't know what I want to do anymore" Broadway of course had been her dream but all her wants and dreams seemed so stupid and insignificant after certain events unfolded.

"Maybe if you took a gap year, to think about it" he suggested

"Maybe" Rachel shrugged "But I think I'd rather just work now"

"Is that why you were checking business and job opportunities local to the Yale campus"

"What? No, don't be ridiculous" she glared at him, scarily... so that meant she was probably lying. "No I was just looking at ideas for Quinn while she's out there, she'll probably want a job you know for extra money and... stuff" she trailed off shyly, failing to fight the embarrassed blush flaring on her cheeks

Leroy smiled to himself "Sure you were" he agreed sarcastically

"I'm not an idiot" Rachel suddenly softened "She'll be glad to be rid of me, I'm not going to follow her out there" maybe she'd thought about it shortly before realising that would just make her a creepy stalker.

Leroy pursed his lips for a second as he raked his brain for another suggestion "Why don't you apply?"

She laughed, really cackled at the idea, treating it like it was a joke, a sarcastic suggestion "I'd never get in to Yale"

"What's the harm in trying?" he pushed, she could be capable if she just tried, he knew that

"It's Quinn's thing, imagine by some tiny chance I got in... it just wouldn't be her thing anymore" she swallowed guiltily, as if guilty for even considering it "Friends come and go right?" she shrugged it off but there was a squeak, a break in her voice that broke Leroy's heart

"Do you remember that show, the Gilmore Girls?" he sure did he watched it with Abby and Rachel all the time when they were younger.

"Yeah, kinda, but that was years ago" she furrowed her brow and looked to him "What the hell has that got to do with anything?"

"Paris and Rory were weird friends and they both ended up at Yale" he shrugged

"I still fail to see your point" she sounded far too intellectual then, but he let it slide

"Just because you're _friends_ doesn't mean your friendship can't last. You guys are really close so would it be impossible if you both ended up in Connecticut at different colleges and you stayed close"

"Don't you think Quinn will want the freedom of not having me around, not having to look after me?" she asked, honestly, though Leroy would call it self pity. She just hung her head, afraid of any judgement he may pass on her for giving up too soon.

"Not having you there to look out for her too?" he added, he wasn't blind neither was Judy, Quinn and Rachel, whatever they were it wasn't one sided "I know why you get into fights and most of the time... recently, its because of her. Like, what they say about her because you're friends with her. And yes they're all idiots, because nothing is going on, even though you wish it was. But that doesn't matter, together or not you're going to protect her" yeah, he was focused, he knew his daughter. She peered up at him afraid, but curious too "Yeah, I'm not an idiot" he nodded "Why don't you talk to her, just see what she wants? There's plenty of colleges near Yale"

"Dad" she sighed "What if I talk to her and... I can't face that rejection" she couldn't help it as tears sprung to her eyes and threatened to spill

"Oh honey" he was off his seat fast as he could and wrapping his arms round his daughter "What makes you think she'd regret you just like that. I know you might not get everything you want but Quinn... she does need you, she's been through a lot too and Judy told me she's been so much better with you... and you've been so focused lately and hard working... and I worry about you of course I do" he squeezed her a little as if to make sure she was really still there, as his mind reached memories, one in particular of almost losing her "But I don't have that fear anymore whenever you walk out the door, only some of the time"

"I won't mess up again dad" she was slightly muffled by his shoulder but he still heard it

"You never did Rach" he kissed the side of her head "You never did" he pulled away "I'm sorry"

"No, don't be, you've been the best" she told him "I'll get better" she nodded her head quickly

"Rach"

"No dad, I'll figure stuff out, I'll make you proud again" she assured him. He wondered if she was losing her mind or if memories were making her feel the same as she did after the car accident, that's what she said then too, or something similar.

"Rach, I'm already proud of you" he squeezed her shoulders reassuringly "You should only change, or not change for you. Do what makes you happy, are you happy Rachel?"

She paused to think, was she happy, what would make her happier, and not the obvious things "I think... I'm as happy as I can hope for" not quite the clear answer he was hoping for. He couldn't keep thinking he could fix these things though, he wasn't that great of a dad. "I'm going to go shower"

"Okay" he regretfully stepped back out of her way so she could leave. He would have loved to talk some more while she was open but she wanted to close those doors yet again, and once they were closed it was hard to get her to open up again "I also noticed you did a lot of research on college interviews" he called out just before she could escape through the kitchen door. It was just a simple comment to break the tension

She stopped and shyly turned back to him "That's just for Quinn, if she wanted to do a practice interview or something"

"You're getting soft Rachel" Leroy warned playfully. She just smiled at him before slipping out of the kitchen.

She did note to herself however that maybe she was getting a bit too soft... the last joke she pulled was on Azimio the week Santana got outed. She'd have to think of something, just a little one to bring bad Berry back.

...

A few days later and they were back at school and back at their glee club meeting. For once Rachel arrived before the teacher but that's probably because Quinn led her there before she could suggest skipping, or not turning up at all as it was first thing in the morning.

Mr Schue wasn't even that late for once "I hope everyone had a good Christmas" he greeted as the group settled down "Now before we start preparing for Regionals, I'd like to address something that happened at the Concert"

"Mr S, just leave it" Rachel warned quickly. She didn't care, or at least she didn't want anyone to think she cared

"No Rachel" the teacher held out a hand to stop her from stopping him "we're a team here and what happened that night was not very team like"

"He's right Rachel" Quinn agreed lowly next to her

"Drop it Quinn, I'm not in the mood" she ground out to the blonde on her right

"What's going on Mr Schue?" Tina asked from the front row

"As we all know Rachel had the closing spot... but Mercedes cut the show short, telling our paying audience that it was the end of the show, before Rachel could get on stage"

"Wait what?" Kurt asked, shocked, just as shocked as everyone else even though he was Mercedes best friend.

"Rachel didn't even get a chance to sing?" Tina asked, checking she was hearing correctly, surely even Mercedes wouldn't pull such a cheap trick.

"After I did my song, before Mercedes, I came back here straight away" Sam furrowed his brow, thinking back to last night and how something didn't add up. He performed after Quinn before Mercedes "I know Quinn stayed to watch Rachel perform... I thought you guys all came back kinda too soon after me"

"I'm sorry okay, but its mine, the closing spot, I didn't want to give it up when you clearly don't even care that much. I mean I rocked that Mariah number" and she could say that because it was true, even if what she'd done was unfair Rachel couldn't deny she had performed amazingly "it was better to end on that high. I mean we all put in the effort, we all dressed up and you-"

Mr Schue cut her off "She got all the tickets sold, like she promised"

The Quinn unnecessarily added "And what she was going to sing was amazing"

The Latina sat behind Quinn and Rachel, with her girlfriend, smirked to herself as she leant forward to mutter her teasing remark between the two girls "Oh get a private show did you Quinn?"

Meanwhile the flamboyant boy looked to the rebel and had to ask "You actually got the tickets sold?"

Santana comment ignored Quinn scoffed at Kurt "You thought people just showed up like some Christmas miracle. Of course she sold them"

"Quinn, stop it" Rachel muttered again, just feeling embarrassed now. She really was getting too soft. Luckily she had a minor, minor, plan that would start her ascension back to the rebel she really was when she started at McKinley

"Yeah you're embarrassing your girlfriend" Santana teased again

"Shut up, Santana" she snapped at the Latina. It didn't deter her smirk though, it just encouraged her, she felt victory.

With the argument over for now and everyone feeling something negative towards Mercedes for her behaviour Mr Schue chose to soldier on "So I know it doesn't really make up for what happened, Rachel. But if you'd like to perform your song now we're all listening" the rest of the room agreed in their own way, mostly mild nods "You don't have to" he added, knowing maybe this wasn't her thing "but if you want to, I think we'd all love to hear what you wanted to sing that night"

"I appreciate it Mr S" she was about to decline but then she had an idea, something she'd been working on since they returned to school a couple of days previous "but if it's okay... Santana and I have been working on something with the band and maybe we could share that now instead"

"Really?" his eyes lit up, impressed "Yeah, that's great. Take the floor you guys" he quickly stepped to the side taking a seat near the front row

Quinn was more than surprised... Rachel spent time with her, not Santana _"Wait, when the hell did they plan this?"_ she thought to herself as she watched Rachel walk down the risers followed by a smirking Santana _"what's got her smirking?"_

Rachel took the first verse... because she wanted to and it was her idea for them to sing anyway

"_Staying in again on a Saturday night  
>I'm going to settle on the sofa and turn down the lights<br>I got 900 channels, but there's nothing to see  
>No wonder everybody thinks they should be on TV"<em>

Already it seemed they had the groups attention. Mercedes wasn't showing any emotion but she looked deep in thought, as if thinking deeply about what she'd done. The rest of the club looked like they were already enjoying the performance. She left the chorus to Santana while she took the background vocals.

"_We all want to be famous  
>Be a face on the screen<br>Read our name in the papers  
>Everybody wants to be on TV"<em>

They then shared a line together

"_Everybody wants to be on TV"_

Rachel again took the next verse but left the last line to Santana... she couldn't help that she was still somewhat selfish when it came to breaking a song up, but Santana had been surprisingly eager to sing with her. Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the way she was smirking at Quinn right now.

"Forget Audrey Hepburn, forget Bette Davis  
>I want to be known just for being famous<br>I can't act, I can't dance, I can't sing, can't you see?"  
>"But I'm young and pretty and that's all that you need"<p>

They sung the second chorus and extra line just as they did the first time around. Their choreography was nothing special, mostly flirty or mischievous glances, mostly on Santana's behalf. She completely missed the way Quinn seemed to fidget in her seat, and looked ready to throw up... meanwhile looking confused for many reasons.

"_We all want to be famous  
>Be a face on the screen<br>Read our name in the papers  
>Everybody wants to be on TV"<em>

"_Everybody wants to be like James Dean"_

Rachel then finally gave in and split the bridge equally with Santana, the shorter girl taking the first two lines, Santana taking the second pair.

"_I want to be the star tonight  
>And complain about fame in a story I sell to the news"<br>"I want to be the star tonight  
>I want to make the front page as I pose for the boys in the nude"<em>

Okay that time Quinn was pretty sure she saw something "_Did Santana just wink at Rachel... and did Rachel just duck her head"_ her head started to hurt and her stomach continued to twist and churn in pain. She felt nervous not even sure why. She just couldn't understand how the two girl in front of her were getting along so well, and singing together so perfectly. How much practice had they already had? Why didn't Rachel ask Quinn to sing something with her? She just watched, almost impatiently as if she needed this to be over so they could leave or get on with the meeting or whatever. The two performers sung the last parts together

"_We all want to be famous  
>Be a face on the screen<br>Read our name in the papers  
>Everybody wants to be like James Dean<em>

_We all want, we want to be famous  
>We all want to be like James Dean<br>We all want, we want to be famous  
>We all want to be on TV"<em>

They were applauded by their group in the end. Mr Schue looked most pleased that the pair had managed to get along so well. It wasn't hard though, since Santana's coming out they had been getting on surprisingly well. And this little performance could only work out well for them, maybe they'd get a chance to take some leads at Regionals and Nationals.

Rachel missed any emotion from Quinn...

...

Later that day when Quinn and Rachel found themselves by their lockers, 'enjoying' the end of their free period, the blonde finally got a chance to talk to Rachel about that song she'd sung that morning. "So the song?" she started not so discretely

"Was it okay?" Rachel asked weakly. Original Rachel would have gone overboard in defence before Quinn could answer, saying how they'd hardly rehearsed it yet, but she remembered who she was and wanted to be...

"Yeah it was great, amazing that you and Santana got along so well. I didn't know you were such close friends" again she was hardly discreet but Rachel was hardly Sherlock either.

"Well I thought about how we were almost friendly when she got outed but that was kinda it so I talked to her when we got back a few days ago and asked her if she wanted to try out a song together. One that would test her range, and maybe test a friendship... though I didn't say that second part to her" she waved off "You didn't have to stand up for me like that in there"

"Sure I did" Quinn fought her "You've been great, to me, to the club and... I think of you as strong Rach, but no ones that strong. I don't know why and I don't expect you to tell me why but half your family are distant to you and that's gotta suck-"

"You're dad doesn't speak to you Quinn, one of mine doesn't want to know me either, is it really any different?" she explained, trying to make Quinn relate in a way because the last thing she wanted from this girl was her pity.

"Well yeah, because I hate my dad and my mom pushed him away so she could have me" Quinn tried to explain their differences again, to separate the situation and but attention back on Rachel. She hated it when the brunette diverted conversation, that's why often she didn't bother asking anything in the first place.

"My dad did the same, and my other parent isn't exactly my biggest fan" Rachel pointed out.

"We're straying from the point" She didn't want to continue the other argument, she didn't want Rachel to think they couldn't be equals... maybe Quinn wanted to actually see just how equal they could be "You're human Rachel so it's okay to be vulnerable" Quinn explained softly.

Rachel slammed her locker shut and glared at the blonde to quite strongly say "I am not vulnerable"

"Well I saw a different girl the other night when you were drunk" Quinn mumbled lowly, not wanting to damage Rachel's softening rep any more in the still diminishing halls.

"What did I do now?" Rachel cringed and slammed her head on her locker door

"Nothing just..." she leant in and mumbled even lower "you were crying and upset and-"

"When was I crying?" Rachel screeched defiantly. Rachel Badgirl Berry did not cry! ... At least not in public.

"When I bought you back to mine from the club... don't you remember?" Quinn asked. If Rachel didn't remember that she wouldn't remember much else, seeing as that part was after the first time she threw up sobering herself slightly.

"No, I really drank a lot, most of the night is a blur" which was true, she could only dread what else she did that night. As if throwing up more than once and Quinn having to clean it up wasn't bad enough, turned out she was a blubbering mess too.

"Well I guess my apology from that night is unnecessary" Quinn chuckled

"Why would you need to apologise?" she asked

"I was angry with you" she ducked her head as she confessed "and kinda mean but it was just because I was worried, you scared me so much, just disappearing like that and I just didn't know why you'd go off like that when we had plans"

"I'm sorry" Rachel sighed, she felt more like she was saying sorry for the girl she was when she acted irrationally that night. She had since then looked up the information and checked Leroy's story. He hadn't been lying, or if he had he'd been lucky his story still checked out.

"No I'm sorry, that's my whole point right now" Quinn decided to fight her on this "I'm really sorry I assume the worst when I see you've been fighting. The thing is I care for you" she swallowed thickly and avoided the brow creased look Rachel was giving her "we're close you know and I'm not great at showing when I care, it just comes off as angry or bossy and I never mean it like that. I haven't been a good friend and I'm sorry. Sorry for when they take advantage of you in Glee or when I've taken advantage of your kindness, leaning on you for the glee club and you don't deserve it because you're a really great person Rachel"

"No I'm not" she laughed, she had to laugh, because Quinn had to be joking right?

"No you really are and I'm sorry I haven't been a good friend to you" Now Rachel _was_ worried, her friend sounded so serious

"Yes you have Quinn, you got me home safe that night" Rachel sighed, wondering how else she would have got home that night, minus one of the skanks drunkenly driving her and dropping her just on her doorstep.

"But I wouldn't have even known you were in trouble if Ronnie hadn't called me. I shouldn't have gone to Santana's, I should have tried to find you instead. But Ronnie saved the day"

"I talked to her though, she said you volunteered to come get me before she could even ask. And if you were angry at me you had a right. I was being selfish, I mean I left Raven home alone for how long? That's not right she's only a puppy, I was irresponsible"

"You were hurt you thought Leroy had abandoned you. And you've got enough going on in your life right now for me to not be a better friend" Quinn tried to finish the argument with that guilty tone

"What is with everyone today, is it freak Berry out day or something" Rachel half laughed while the other half of her was worried.

"What do you mean?"

"First the Schue, being all nice, even Kurt looked sorry for me missing out at the concert. Then Brittany propositioning me and then Santana letting that offer down gently rather than being a normal bitch, and now you" she rushed out but Quinn didn't miss a word

"What about Brittany and Santana?" she creased her brow with intrigue

"Oh Brittany made a inappropriate suggestion" Rachel shrugged half heartedly "because she thought me and San singing together was..." she trailed off when she didn't recognise the look on Quinn's face... 'grossed out' maybe "never mind" the school bell obnoxiously rung above them signalling the end of the lesson that was her free period "I'll see you later" she quickly escaped. She actually needed to talk to someone in her next class anyway. No way was Rachel berry getting too soft, she had something small, really small to work her way back up.

"See you later" Quinn muttered absently to no one in particular.

...

When she got to her science lesson she spied an open seat next to her target... who was oddly on time. "Puckerman" she greeted blankly as she kept eyes forward.

He looked to his left surprised, before he adopted her stance and tone "Berry"

"I know things between us-"

"Things got a bit messed up" he rushed in to cut her off.

"Yeah, we could have been friends" she suggested

"We could still be friends. Finn is... well he's not the right wingman, but you, I thought you could be"

"Whatever Puckerman, don't go getting soft with me" she slowly met his eyes and smiled, just a little "I might require your assistance for a little practical joke"

Well his interest was definitely peaked. He kept low in his seat as he cautiously asked "Who's the target?"

"The Schue" she said plainly

He suppressed a grin. This girl could be his friend, his buddy, his wing woman "What have you got in mind?"

...

As Quinn was heading to the cafeteria to find Rachel she spied the girl standing in the doorway of a certain Spanish teacher's class room. She completely missed Quinn as she looked the other way down the hallway before she ushered someone out. Quinn watched, very confused as Puck clumsily struggled out of the class room, his arms full of fluorescent tube lights

"What the hell am I supposed to do with these?" he hissed at her.

"I dunno" she shoved him down the hall "Dumpster? Jewfro's locker? Just don't get caught" she hissed back

"Fine" he grumbled like a pouty child before rushing away.

Quinn snuck up behind the left behind girl and close to her ear she roughly whispered "What were you doing in there?"

Rachel flinched before turning quickly to face the sneaky person "Nothing" she blatantly lied

"Okay..." Quinn narrowed her eyes at the shorter girl "what were you doing in there with Puck, and why was he carrying all those fluorescent light tubes?"

"Just a little... prank" she shrugged cool-ly

"Oh god" she gasped as a thought hit her "you're not going to electrocute someone are you?"

Rachel laughed at her "I wouldn't even know how to set that up without frying myself"

"Well then... you've stolen all the light bulbs in your last period room, in the hopes your lesson gets cancelled and you can go home" she suggested. That seemed like a reasonable idea, something someone might do if they were willing to put in the effort.

"No..." her eyes lit up, that sounded like a better idea than the lame crap she was pulling "damn, why didn't I think of that before?"

"It wouldn't work anyway" Quinn said, almost sagely "they've probably already got a hundred replacements in a closet somewhere"

Now it was Rachel's turn to narrow her eyes with suspicion "You've thought about it then?" she folded her arms expectantly.

"No" Quinn answered quickly yet casually "What were _you_ doing?"

"Nothing" Rachel shuffled uncomfortably. The she realised she was still standing next to the door to the crime scene so she started walking down the corridor, Quinn immediately following.

"Then why am I worried" She asked, too close to Rachel's ear for the brunette's comfort

"Of for god sake" she stopped again now that she was a safe distance from the crime scene "We changed all the light bulbs for coloured ones in there. Thought Mr S would like it seeing as he loves Disco so much, I mean I can't believe he actually bought it up again in glee club just before Christmas" she rambled out the second part defensively.

Quinn stifled a laugh, really was that it, Rachel was losing her touch "Where the hell did you get coloured light tubes?"

"Well I couldn't get that many different colours online so I made some by wrapping them in clear coloured plastic" she'd just needed Puck to install them because he was tall enough. And she played look out while he did that.

"Okay" she said slowly, again having to stop herself from laughing "that's too much planning, especially for you"

"Just be happy no ones going to get hurt" Rachel said defensively, sensing that Quinn might just mock her for this one "It might not even work like I wanted it to"

"I guess its refreshing, the last prank was the slushy waterfall" and she'd been involved with that one. She couldn't help but admire Rachel's creativeness on that one, it was just a simple twist on the McKinley high treatment.

"Actually I think it was the slushy locker that week Santana was all out on the news" Rachel corrected. Another little twist on the classic

"Or right" Quinn nodded "This is mild, so no harm right?"

"Hopefully" she crossed her fingers, jokingly.

"Can we talk serious for a minute?" Quinn sighed, trying to move onto something she actually wanted to talk to Rachel about.

"Sure, we can always talk serious if you pull your serious face" Rachel teased

"I do not have a serious face" Quinn furrowed her brow

Rachel pointed right at Quinn's face "You're pulling it right now"

"Stop it" Quinn's face softened as she chuckled, the noise and sight making Rachel smile a little more too "You're mean to me"

"This morning you were telling me how amazing I was" she reminded her blonde friend

"I didn't use the word amazing" she in turn reminded Rachel before she got ahead of herself

Rachel laughed it all off and got back to subject "What do you want to talk about?"

Quinn adopted her serious look again, for real this time "Just that I think the glee club is in for more trouble. Not the kind you can fix so don't worry I'm not pressuring you, just want your opinion to check if its just me"

"Uh-oh what now, Sylvester made it illegal to sing?" Rachel sighed, exhausted by the idea of trouble and the glee club. Hadn't they been through enough already?

"No" she cautiously peered at the others in the corridor before she closed in, closer to Rachel. For a stupid moment there Rachel let herself hope and imagine- and then words dropped from her mouth "I think Kurt has a crush on Blaine" she pulled away again and looked to Rachel for an opinion

"...So?" she asked after a silent pause. What was Quinn getting at?

"So some ones going to get hurt" she hissed, worried this could cause turmoil in the club

"How?" Rachel wanted to laugh, did Quinn not know?

"Well you know, Kurt, he's... and Blaine... Blaine won't reciprocate" Quinn tried to explain, while her head was reminding her that there has been no trouble yet with a certain unrequited attraction in the group.

"Oh" she gave in "Don't you know about Blaine?" she failed to hold back a smirk

"Know what?" Quinn asked, borderline desperate to know what was holding that smirk up

"You really don't know?" she laughed this time. It felt good to have the power over the blonde like this when so often it was the other way around.

"Know what?!" and now Quinn was just getting annoyed.

"Well lets just say" she played it cool, and put on her best worst fake gangsta impression "he aint no diner, of vagi-"

Getting the image rather quickly Quinn reached out and clamped her hand over Rachel's mouth "Don't say another syllable" she sternly told the girl while fighting a blush "he's gay?"

Rachel just nodded, unable to do much more with Quinn's hand still over her mouth.

"Why didn't I know that?" Quinn pondered aloud just before she felt something wet on her hand. To break free Rachel had licked across Quinn's palm, making her instantly release "Eww" Quinn wiped hand on Rachel's sleeve "gross"

"What?" Rachel just shrugged "You were suffocating me" While Quinn was still wiping her hand on her arm with disgust she went back to their original conversation "Anyway, there's also a possibility Mercedes now has her eyes on Sam"

"I know they kissed at Santana's new years party but, well Sam might not be too keen on her after what she did to you at the concert" Quinn explained, she wasn't completely in the dark then.

"Shame, she might need someone like him just to distract her and get her head out of her ass for 5 minutes" Rachel mumbled

"How did this even happen?" Quinn asked, almost meaning the question to be rhetorical.

"I dunno. Probably Sam and Blaine helping rescue sectionals, and getting to use their voices, made Captain hair flick and Aretha all starry eyed. And you know what? Good for them, hopefully it will all work out and them two will be all distracted. They need a good-"

"Do you want me to put my hand over your mouth again?" Quinn warned. She didn't want Rachel talking like that, it made her... uncomfortable

"Do you want me to lick you again?" She asked back matching Quinn's menacing warning tone. She then realised what she'd just said and had to fight a blush "... um, I mean"

"I know what you meant" Quinn said dryly, managing to compose herself better than the other girl.

"Yeah... I'm gonna" Rachel nodded her head down the hallway beyond Quinn "go" She only made it three steps before something horrific happened. She was met for the very first time with the signature icy weapon of the McKinley so called elite. She gasped as the red liquid stung her eyes and ran down her face. Well that was one way to call off after the images that had just bombarded her head after her previous comment.

Quinn quickly took pity as the jock culprits continued down the hallway, high fiving one another and laughing. She recognised one of them as the boy that tried to proposition Santana after her rough coming out, the same one Rachel pinned to the locker. Quinn held onto some satisfaction that Rachel would get her revenge in time. She led Rachel to the nearest girls bathroom, the few girls already standing at the sink quickly gathered there things and left when they saw exactly who had just come in.

Rachel wiped furiously at her face as Quinn got her to the sink and ran the water "That's the second most disgusting fluid I've ever had in my eye" Rachel choked out, struggling to talk calmly as she was already shivering.

"Is everything about sex with you?" Quinn muttered, disgusted

"Hey, I never mentioned sex, you did" Rachel, even with her eyes red and raw still managed to let mischief shine through them as she met Quinn's own eyes through the mirror "And if you must know I've never been with a guy" she added

"Okay, eww just stop. I don't want to hear anything" Quinn didn't want any image like that in her head

"Sorry" she mumbled as she continued to rinse her face from the sticky red gloop

"No you're not" Quinn glared at her "Just let me steal a chair and then I can help you clean this crap off" she muttered before disappearing.

.

"Who was the evil genius who came up with this, the slushie attacks?" Rachel asked as she sat back in the chair, her head thrown back so her hair could be rinsed in the sink with the assistance of a plastic cup by Quinn.

"Oh um... me... kinda" Quinn sounded embarrassed, regretful even, while she carefully washed out Rachel's hair. This was definitely a big deal, Rachel hadn't been slushied before... she was taking it amazingly well though.

"Why am I not surprised" Rachel chuckled up at her friend "How did you come up with it?" she asked casually

"I just introduced it here, they used to do it at my middle school... there was some loser there with braces and- ugh she was just like the biggest loser nerd you'd ever meet, and some of them used to attacked her with them" Quinn shrugged her explanation as if it was nothing. The only time she was passionate in that sentence was when she was trying to convince Rachel of just how big of a loser that kid really was

"So they preyed on the weak" Rachel scoffed, nothing new there then.

"Sometimes, mostly just that one girl though...she didn't have a knight in shining armour like you to protect her" Okay, more weird things for Rachel today, Quinn seemed to be trying to flatter her

"What makes you think I'd have protected her?" Rachel eyed the blonde suspiciously. She didn't get beaten up for just anybody.

"You never slushied the glee club" Quinn casually shrugged as she swept Rachel's hair back with her hand "only the football team and the occasional cheerio who planned on slushying someone else. I heard that time you nearly knocked Azimio out cold you paid that freshman for his slushie so you could pour it on Azimios head"

"Technically Azimio paid for that, it was just compensation for the freshman" Rachel explained. She had stolen money, not donated any of her own in that situation "I'm no hero" she mumbled

"Oh come on Rach, even when you fight lately its to stand up for someone else... like me" she added not to subtly

Quinn was just being nice. Rachel had to remind herself of that, so she had to turn on the explanative defences "They were just bull shitting, Quinn, it was pissing me off"

"Okay... I wasn't saying you did it just for me, but I heard- and well you wouldn't have needed to fight them off if I... wasn't around you all the time" not that she planned on not being Rachel's friend any time soon "You're getting soft"

"So I keep being told" she muttered "Sounds sad at your old school, that girl" she diverged

"She didn't help herself really, she'd snap, be kinda aggressive, defensive if anyone tried to become her friend" this Lucy girl had to in the end, before another person could pretend to be her friend only to hurt her even more later

"Did you try?" Rachel asked

"No... no I didn't help her" she muttered guiltily. She took the towel hanging over the sink next to the one Rachel was sitting against. She'd kept a spare in her locker, just in case a situation like this occurred

"What was her name?" Rachel casually asked while Quinn bought the towel around Rachel's hair to squeeze it dry.

"Oh... um, Lucy something... we just called her Lucy Caboosey though, because she was fat" she laughed ever so slightly at the end of her sentence.

"Sounds mean, feel sorry for her" Rachel knew that side of things and she wouldn't choose it for anyone "Sounds like she and Yester-Berry would have got on great. I had my fair share of mean nick names at my old high school" Rachel took over, grateful for Quinn's help so far but she wasn't a child. She finished trying to dry her hair with the towel

"Really like what?" With this version Rachel that Quinn knew, it was hard to believe anyone would get away with calling her anything other than her name

"I don't really want to earn any of them here" so there would be no repeating of them here if she could help it. She got up dropping the towel on the commandeered chair and grabbed her bag off the floor, hoping there was still a comb in there somewhere

"I wouldn't repeat them, but I get what you mean" Quinn agreed as she just watched Rachel through the mirror. When Rachel met those hazel eyes she thought she saw something, almost sympathetic understanding.

"Do you know what happened to her, to that Lucy girl?"

Quinn dropped eye contact, choosing to watch her hands instead "She, uh... disappeared, or at least she tried to"

"Like me" Rachel hoped that's what Quinn meant, that this victim just changed herself, disguised herself rather than tried something stupid.

"Is the old Rachel really gone?" Quinn asked curiously, wondering if she'd ever meet and honestly vulnerable girl... and wondering what else might be in store if she were to meet that other girl.

"Most of her... but you know what, I really thought about it, I'm happy who I am now... as happy as I ever hoped to be... right here" she smiled to herself in the mirror. Happy with her hair she put the comb away and grabbed her jacket off the next sink.

Quinn suddenly felt nervous, she wanted to share with Rachel, Rachel had been open with her, even if she was drunk at the time, so she swallowed her nerves "Rach-"

"Oh, are we going out tonight?" she suddenly asked, not even realising she'd cut Quinn off "I know we haven't for a while, but I thought a quiet one with Shelia, Ronnie and The Mack?"

"Oh, um, Shelby's asked Puck and I to babysit Beth tonight" she cut that idea short like Rachel had cut her short

"Oh right" she mumbled as she grabbed her bag.

"Thing is Puck is busy actually working, amazingly, so he can't make it"

"So, that's cool isn't it? You get some time alone with Beth"

"Yeah... but she'll be asleep most of the time..." she bit her lip before she asked "would you want to hang out at Shelby's?"

"Quinn?" Rachel chuckled at the mere thought "She's my mom and we don't talk. And except the day she gave birth to me we've met on two occasions. Also I don't want to mess this up for you, so I think I'll stay away"

"You wouldn't mess anything up for me, and would it be so bad if you got to be civil with her, it's not like she'll even be there for long the same time as us" Quinn argued

"What's the big deal?"

"Nothing I just thought..." she had to think about it... the truth wouldn't be a good thing right now "I thought you might want to keep me company tonight or something" she explained lamely

"Really?" Rachel reminded herself to not read too much into it "Um sure, I-I can do that"

Quinn smiled "I already asked Shelby if you could babysit with me and she's fine with it"

Rachel eyed Quinn curiously "And she knows it's me right, you didn't just say 'a friend'"

"No I was clear it was you" Quinn assured her as they pair started clearing all their stuff away "You never know Rach... she could be like family to you again"

"Family don't stick around for long with me" Rachel shook her head to herself "I don't want to burden Shelby with the me, she's got her own family now"

"She's got Beth, that's not much family"

Only one person to rely on or look after, both girls could relate to that "I've only got my dad. You've only got your mom"

"Yeah but I see my mom and me, and your dad and you as a little made up family unit" Quinn explained

"Eww don't say we're sisters" she felt her stomach churn at the thought... meanwhile Quinn cringed internally at the statement too.

"No, not like that" she managed to chuckle the idea off

"Not cousins either" Rachel warned. she couldn't hack it if Quinn was imagining them in anyway related. Quinn wasn't though, she saw them as friends... friends who cared greatly about one another, and were very close

"No... I just meant... its like we're a support system" she continued to explain.

"And you want Shelby and Beth in on this" Rachel arched an eyebrow curiously.

"Not exactly, but... I don't know- I'll stop, I'm over stepping now anyway" she gave up

"No go on, I won't get upset just say" Rachel encouraged

"Well, just that maybe for your sake and hers if you could become acquainted you'd have both have more people to rely on-"

"Is this your way of saying you're bored with me?"

"Don't do that" Quinn tone dropped dangerously low

"Do what?" Rachel yelped defensively

"Deflect like that"

"I wasn't I was asking seriously" Rachel insisted "Are you getting bored with me?"

"Rachel Berry, you're the most entertaining and interesting thing in my life, why would I want to get rid of you?" Rachel just shoved her playfully, and Quinn wasn't flirting, they were always like this, she reminded herself

...

"Can I ask you something?" they were in the car, Quinn driving, Rachel her passenger, on their way to Shelby's. It had been a little silent in the car, there was music playing softly, but Quinn had been away in her thoughts and thinking about family a lot recently so she was wondering...

"Sure" she shrugged, not expecting what Quinn had in store for her.

"Are your..." Quinn struggled to ask, and she wondered if Rachel would struggle to speak "you mentioned two younger siblings, Rebecca and Adam?"

Rachel swallowed thickly, to keep her voice calm "Yeah, what about them?"

"Are they Shelby's too?" Quinn had pondered this thought for a while, and she had concluded that it was unlikely. If you gave a couple 3 kids surely you'd be involved in some way. 3 kids... you couldn't keep anyone away could you, not someone like Shelby who seemed to have her head on straight... well at least most of the time.

"No, they were adopted, I was the only one related to my parents... their first kid" that was true, they adopted Abby when the girl was 5, which was after Rachel had been born "I was supposed to be their star child but I guess I was never enough, and never _good_ enough"

"But Leroy stuck with you" she reminded Rachel she wasn't alone, she should have used herself as well, Quinn already knew she was happy to be there for Rachel too.

"Because I was alone and he's an amazing dad" Rachel sighed, a sigh to cover all emotion "I don't deserve him"

"You're a great friend Rach. And you are good enough, you deserve all the best" Quinn assured her just before she pulled the car up outside Shelby's.

Rachel peered up at the house "We're already here?" that was a short drive... the last time she'd driven here it seemed to take forever... maybe that was because she was hung over though.

"Yep" Quinn said as she got out of the car. She slowed her enthusiasm before she closed the car door and looked back at Rachel "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Yeah" she squeaked unintentionally. She cleared her throat and actually looked at Quinn. That smile and excitement at spending time with her daughter was all Rachel needed to be brave enough _'For Quinn'_ her head whispered "Yeah, I'm fine"

She finally got out of the car and was led to the front door by Quinn. It was opened too them far too quickly for Rachel to really mentally prepare _'She won't be here the entire time'_ Rachel reminded herself

"Hi Quinn, Beth's in her room" Shelby greeted

"Thanks" the blonde smiled and happily wandered off to find her daughter. There was Rachel's shield gone then. She stepped into the house silently next and just looked at Shelby, wondering how to start this

"Oh and you must be Rachel, Quinn's friend" okay that wasn't what she expected.

She furrowed her brow "Shelby? You know who I am"

The woman must have been as awkward as Rachel was right now... had Quinn planned this? "I just thought after our last encounter we should pretend-"

"I was a jerk okay" Rachel quickly conceded. This was too awkward as it was "I just- maybe I shouldn't be here, but Quinn asked me and I know I don't look it but I can be responsible when it counts and- I'm just sorry okay, I don't want things to be awkward between us seeing as our lives are crossing whether it was planned or not, so I apologise for my abrupt behaviour the last time we met"

"Okay... I accept your apology though I don't feel it was necessary" this felt to business like in its abruptness but it would do for now, I mean how did most bridges start to get built, maybe with a few deals being made "I hope we can at least become friends"

"Um, okay, sure, maybe" or maybe not too many deals being made, as fickle Rachel had just decided

"Okay then" "Beth's through there, maybe you should meet her... she is in a weird way your sister"

"Right" Rachel nodded before awkwardly heading further into the house, just following the voices she could hear, while feeling Shelby right behind her.

When they reached the doorway to what she imagined was Beth's room, she found Quinn, holding Beth close, talking, baby talk to her. The image warmed Rachel.

"Quinn" Shelby softly interrupted

"Yeah" she actually tore her attention away from the little girl in her arms for a moment

"Can I just run through Beth's evening routine with you, before I head out?" Shelby asked, nodding her head towards the kitchen

"Oh right" she put Beth back in her playpen muttering softly "I'll be back in a minute" she then smiled at Rachel, still warmly as she followed Shelby back to the kitchen leaving Rachel alone

"Okay" Rachel muttered to herself as she looked around, her eyes falling on Beth who was just silently watching her. She awkwardly wandered over to meet the child... Quinn's child. She crouched next to the playpen. "So" Beth just continued to stare at the stranger, wide eyed... and Rachel awkward as ever mirrored the expression "You're the daughter of the girl I love... and my sister... weird" she muttered. "I think... yeah you've definitely got Pucks eyes... if you're lucky you'll look like Quinn" she laughed lightly and noted how Beth smiled too "Then when you're in high school you'll be fighting them off with a stick. And Shelby will be all protective and you'll probably love her but tell her you hate her... yeah, life's gonna be kinda cliché for you, kid" she dropped to actually sit on the floor. She dared to reach through the bars, and quickly her index finger was taken prisoner in Beth's tiny grasp.

Just outside the doorway Quinn was about to rejoin them but she stopped when she heard Rachel talking, she just leant on the wall outside the door out of sight and listened. Shelby had left thinking it would be easier on Rachel right now. She knew how fragile the girl was.

"And maybe one day you'll find out the truth about Quinn, and maybe you won't find out. But I'm pretty sure either way you'll see her as like your hot shot, cool 'aunt'. She's gonna be someone big, an actress I think... maybe a writer, maybe both... maybe she'll go into photography with all the photos she keeps taking lately" she added with a humorous chuckle "But she won't ever forget you" she added more seriously

Beth made some incoherent babbling noises. Either way Rachel took that as a good sign, at least she wasn't just crying... and she seemed to actually be listening.

"And hey maybe I'll be around too, to get you alcohol for all your teen parties, yeah I'll be the bad influence if I get to be in your life at all" if she planned on trying to actually become family to Shelby again... or was it just too late? "Who knows... you're lucky though, Shelby, Quinn, Puck, you've got 3 people to depend on, three parents who love you" that really got her thinking "I could have had that, but I messed up... you won't mess up, they won't let you, I know that. I've only got one person left, one parent, I pushed Shelby away, Hiram doesn't want to know me and my dad Leroy, he's the best"

Quinn just grew concerned now, Rachel sounded so deep. She was torn, she wanted to go in there and just hug Rachel, just hold her and tell her she was there for her, but Rachel was still talking

"And for now I guess I have Quinn to lean on... I don't think she likes that though... having to look after me... it's all good practice though" But that wasn't how Quinn felt and hearing Rachel say that... well it hurt "I'm a big kid"

She pushed herself off the wall and walked straight into the room afraid Rachel would just get more depressing "So you and Beth should get along great" she joked

Rachel just looked over her shoulder back at Quinn, wide eyed and afraid "What did you hear?"

"Nothing, just that you called yourself a big kid, I can agree with that" she teased "Should I be worried, were you talking about me?"

"Oh yeah, sure, Beth was raving about you" Rachel joked back as she climbed up off the floor

"Beth needs feeding soon so..." she walked across the room to retrieve the child

"Oh so Beth is allowed out of jail"

She held Beth close and secure as she looked at her friend strangely "It's a playpen"

"Hard to tell with the bars" she teased

"Careful, or I'll put you in there" Quinn teased right back before taking Beth to the kitchen. Rachel just obediently followed.

When they reached the kitchen Rachel slipped her jacket off and slung it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. Quinn was finding Beth's dinner so she didn't notice until she turned back round.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" she gasped, eyes wide

"Yeah, why?" Rachel furrowed her brow

"Your arms!" they were covered in red raw scratches

"Oh" she inspected her arms herself "Raven" she explained with that one word, letting Quinn relax "we got a bit rough when playing... and I still like to hug her, sit her on my lap and..." she trailed off as she noticed Quinn looking at her suspiciously "I like cuddles okay" she pouted defensively

Oh yeah Quinn knew how Rachel liked cuddles, she remembered very clearly how Rachel had wanted to be held that recent night and how tightly she'd held on. It amazed her that she managed to escape the next morning.

"You should be careful or when Raven grows big she'll still want to sit on you" she chuckled

Rachel could only imagine her getting suffocated by a very comfortable looking grown Raven "Brings a whole new meaning to the words dog sitting" she joked

"Yeah" Quinn agreed. She looked lost for a moment before she looked towards Rachel "Can you hold Beth a second?"

"Um sure" She didn't sound or feel so sure but she took the offered child anyway. She just held the girl away from her, almost at arm's length

Quinn didn't criticise, holding and wanting to hold Beth had been more natural for her, but Rachel... Rachel seemed to be afraid of... something. Rachel was just uncomfortable being around a child so young. It had been a while since her own siblings were this size "Don't you know how to hold a child?" she kept it light with a humorous tone.

"No, I know" Rachel quickly assured Quinn and held Beth closer, if still awkwardly. Quinn let it go, Beth was in safe hands _she _knew that.

"Do you think you'll have a family of your own one day?" She asked casually

Well that wasn't something Rachel had thought about for what felt like a long time. She used to have an ambitious yet full proof plan... but a family, after everything that happened? She looked at the girl on her hip and tried to imagine it "Maybe, one day... I mean yeah I'd like a family of my own but I'd probably just screw everything up. I don't know if I'd be a good enough mom"

"Well... if your kids get bored of you they'll have their other mom to turn to" Quinn laughed. She didn't mean it though, she didn't believe it either. Who could get bored of Rachel?

"Thanks" she just muttered sarcastically

Quinn stopped what she was doing to say a little more tenderly "I think you'd make a good mom"

"Really? I'm a screw up I'll be lucky to find anyone to take me in the first place" Quinn hated self pitying Rachel, Quinn had to ask herself if Rachel was saying this because she was saying this because of her and the unofficial rejection or was this something far deeper like the secret Rachel and Judy wouldn't reveal to her.

"I think there's a girl out there for you Rach... and she'll be very lucky to be with you" she told her what she felt was complete honesty

"Really?" Rachel just scoffed again, she couldn't even look at Quinn, she was suddenly able to manage eye contact with Beth so much better "You got someone in mind?"

"Um, no... but I'm sure there is" she knew from this side of things just how protective and caring Rachel could be to someone she... so deeply cared for.

"Why do you ask, anyway?" she narrowed her eyes at her friend who quickly found herself more interested in sorting out Beth's dinner

"Just wondering... I don't know everything about you yet Rachel Berry"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, there's loads I still don't know about you"

"You don't want to know the boring stuff" Rachel played it down

"Sure I do... so what's in your future?" she looked up from what she was doing

The evil stupid part of Rachel's brain said _'you'_ she mentally groaned at herself "I don't know, it's kinda blank... it doesn't go much further than graduating"

"You do plan on graduating then?" That was a relief to hear by the sound of Quinn's tone

"Yeah" why wouldn't she plan on graduating?

"You're not going to college?"

"No, I haven't applied to anywhere so no, I'm not going to college" she shrugged. Beth started fidgeting so she started moving, bouncing the girl and walking round just to keep things more interesting because she really had no clue what she was doing.

"Job prospects?"

"What is up with you? Are you trying to set me up with someone?" because that would be hilarious... and really weird. Why would Quinn know someone available and Rachel wouldn't... _'unless they'd asked Quinn out- No Rachel don't you'll just make yourself jealous for maybe no reason'_

"No I'm just asking" This was a hard situation. After hearing Rachel earlier she was even more worried, and now she was finding it hard to just tell the girl she was wanted, of course she wanted Rachel in her life, she wasn't any trouble. She made it interesting, she made her feel better, Rachel made her feel what she wanted to feel, what she told Santana she wanted to feel when they were in New York for nationals over 6 months ago.

"Oh god you're not trying to find me a replacement friend for when you run off to Yale are you?" Rachel asked curious but trying to hide it "I'll be okay I don't need someone to look after me"

"It's not that Rachel" she was just trying to get to know more of Rachel, to know all of her "It's not too late to apply to college you know" she set Beth's high chair up and left it to Rachel to sit her down and strap her in

"I wouldn't even know where to apply" Rachel waved it off as she settled Beth in the chair. She must have been hungry because she was very cooperative as Rachel negotiated her arms through the straps. Well they couldn't have her getting hurt on their watch

"You could apply for Yale with me" Quinn suggested. The brunette was more than surprised at that suggestion, a suggestion she'd heard before not too recently "Wouldn't it be great if we both got in, we might share classes, we could even share a dorm, then I'd already know my roommate was weird"

She really laughed that time, again making Quinn stop what she was doing and watch the brunette "Having a stranger as a roommate is kinda the point. And it would be good for you Quinn, to have a fresh clean slate with no ties to back here. Besides I'd never get into a big fancy school like Yale" she wasn't so delusional anymore. Dream small then you'll never be disappointed, she told herself that often, even if she told Quinn to dream big. "I don't even know if I want to go to college, I want to travel the world" didn't everyone kind of want to do that though

"You'd need money though" Quinn pointed out... then again you needed money for college

"I'll just rob a bank" After a beat of silence she felt it was necessary to add: "Joking"

"Yeah I know" Quinn nodded

"I think I could spend less money backpacking round the world than doing something I love but will end up hating at college" Rachel thought out loud

"Sounds like a challenge" Quinn murmured

"Maybe... but I don't think I could put Raven through all that travel. Maybe me and her will go on that road trip then I'll work... or the other way round so I have more money" she added another aloud though. It was comforting to Quinn to hear Rachel with some sort of plan, and she wasn't one to stop Rachel from doing what she wanted to do "Maybe I could save up money and then we could go on a road trip together after your first year" she tested the waters

"Really?" Quinn stopped one step short of serving up Beth's dinner making the girl fidget even more "Would it just be a drink fuelled road trip getting drunk at any club and bar we could find? We've got our fake ID's all set" Quinn wondered so she asked.

"No it wouldn't be like that because there'd be three of us, you me and Raven" Rachel grabbed a chair and stuck in next to the high chair for Quinn to sit

"Thanks" she muttered before she sat down

"Anytime" she nodded back "I want to see the sights, and not just the cities, do some hiking too" she walked round to behind Beth so she wasn't talking to the back of Quinn's head

"You, hiking?" Quinn didn't meant to scoff so easily

"What?"

"Sorry I just don't see you as the type to want to go hiking" the cigarette smoking, booze drinking, gym class avoiding girl wasn't really the type she could imagine with an over sized back pack marching up a hill. The image only made her laugh harder

Rachel laughed a little too at the image though "I don't mean like huge treks across mountains but a few easy trails. This country is huge, wouldn't you want to get a glimpse at all you can while you can, before you're stuck working somewhere and you can't take more than two weeks off in one go"

"I guess I'd want to explore... if I had the right company" she peered up at Rachel with a raised eyebrow

"Me?" Rachel sounded surprised

"Well yeah but I was thinking Raven" now it was her turn to make herself clear "Joking" she smiled mischievously

"It's just a suggestion, you wouldn't have to go. You'll probably be too busy running off somewhere abroad with your new college buddies" "Oh, and don't forget your fake ID when you go to college. It will help make you very popular" that fake ID was a tiny thing that might remind Quinn of her while she was away, it was her who got it in the first place

"Rach, I'm not going to forget you" she said softly, while leaving a spoon of food just too far away fro Beth's liking "Sorry" she muttered to the child before continuing to help her eat. She was probably capable on her own but Quinn wanted to do this... she'd missed this part in the first place, thinking-knowing it was better for Beth this way. Rachel watched, fascinated by how well they Quinn and Beth worked together, and how teasingly lovely the image in front of her was. Quinn caught her watching but she didn't look away "... will you visit me?"

"If you'd want me to visit..." she answered indirectly "and if Raven and I aren't too busy on our road trip" she added cool-ly

"Well duh" Quinn agreed in a roundabout way

"Quinn you're going to Yale" the brunette yelped playfully "you can't speak like that"

"I haven't got in yet"

"You will though, I believe in you"

...

The rest of their evening went smoothly. Rachel found it wasn't that awkward round Beth... maybe she could be a mother, when the time was right. Quinn found that Rachel was just a softie really. And after they put Beth to bed they just talked, more about Quinn's college hopes and Rachel's road trip plans. She had so much planned, Quinn imagined all that information wasn't just in the girls head.

When Shelby got back things were smooth. She'd been out for drinks with colleagues and was in a good mood and only had an appropriate amount to drink so Quinn wasn't worried with leaving Beth. Rachel obviously didn't get any drinking habits from Shelby, if those were even passed genetically.

Quinn pulled her car up on her drive and they both got out. The lights were still on in both houses so amazingly Judy and Leroy weren't spending time together, probably bored with one another for once, or it was just late.

"Well this was... um, fun" it was definitely better than Rachel had imagined. Now she felt like she had been worried for no reason

"Thanks for keeping me company" Quinn fiddled with her door keys as she stood facing Rachel on the garden path

"Beth's really sweet" she awkwardly complimented

"Yeah she can be" Quinn agreed

"And you're great with her"

"Thanks"

"Don't hate me for saying this but..." she worried her lip between her teeth "even though you're great with her... I think you're better off not having her full time"

"Oh" Quinn's expression dropped just a little

"You're gonna be a fantastic mom, Quinn. But like I've said before, you need to live a little first"

"Yeah..." her voice cracked a little, nervous or tired or something, she wasn't sure "and I need to find someone who I can depend on to have those kids with" she repeated the other thing Rachel had told her

"Exactly" Rachel agreed, secretly grinning inside that Quinn remembered her 'advice' form all those months ago "So this was fun" she added lightly, then made a suggestion "Maybe we could puppy sit together sometime"

"I'm sure Raven would like with some sane company"

"I'm sure she would"

"And maybe we could do this again" Quinn suggested. She liked sensitive non-drunk Rachel

"If Puck can't" Rachel reminded her

"Oh right, of course" she almost forgot he was in the picture. "Good night Rachel"

"Good night Quinn"

Before Rachel could turn and walk away Quinn gently grasped her wrist and held her in place as she leant forward to press such a simple yet heart racing kiss to Rachel's cheek. When she pulled away Rachel couldn't see Quinn's face reddening thanks to the lack of light "Um, night" she smiled shyly before rushing to her front door and fumbling with her keys so she could let herself in. Once the door was finally open she stepped through throwing a wave behind her but not looking back before closing it behind her again

Rachel's feet felt like they were glued to the floor, her eyes fixated on nothing, just the space where Quinn had just stood. She finally blinked before she slowly bought her hand up to her cheek, all while a stupid grin morphed onto her face. Once the warm fuzzy feeling she got inside subsided just a little she managed to pull herself away and head home, still smiling to herself like a fool.

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think...<strong>

**Oh, the song was 'Famous' by Scouting for Girls**

**Next chapter promises to be interesting...**


	17. Breaking the Law

**Thanks for reviewing: TrustInFaith, Musicfutbolfan6, MeeksMcFly, TheCDKnight, musicwolf89, supernena25, kutee, OutOfNoWhereHereIAm, recklesslittleliar, LoveSKINS94, iamirreplazable, alittlelam, Guest, YourInnate, writting is love and Harley Quinn Davidson.**

**I was going to use a different song in this chapter but after what **_**MeeksMcFly **_**(thanks again) said I found myself agreeing and changing to another song I wanted to use but couldn't find a better place to fit it in.**

**On another note I was feeling good about the plot for this fic from this point at first but recently I'm not so sure... just remember this fic is very loosely based on season 3 *Cringes*...**

**Posted: 30/7/13**

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><p><span>Breaking the Law<span>

"So, as it's Valentines day-"

"Let me guess, we'll be singing love songs?" Rachel interrupted dryly

"Yep, you guessed it Rachel" Mr Schue completely ignored or just missed the lack of enthusiasm in Rachel's voice "This is an opportunity to share some real emotion into what you're singing"

"Isn't that what we're supposed to do anyway?" She mumbled under her breath. She sat slouched in her chair, arms folded across her chest playing as uninterested as she could. Quinn sat next to her, notebook in her lap for a reason Rachel wasn't sure of, but she often had a notebook to hand.

"So we're singing songs for one people special to us, either someone here or not here, but someone important to you" "And Mercedes already volunteered to go first so take it away Mercedes"

"Thanks Mr s... this is for someone... someone I really think I messed up my chances with" she looked to the band and nodded "hit it"

"_Oh here she goes, belting out something loud and she'll get a pat on the back at the end... and as usual everyone is in awe of her, despite what they say behind her back"_ she looked round at the others in the room, they were all enjoying Mercedes rendition of... whatever it was she was singing_ "And of course I can't let everyone know how sour I am that it's Valentine's day. They just think it's because I'm single... no actually. Its because the day is too commercial. All the cards and tacky gifts... where's the mystery gone? Don't they know its a celebration for singles, not couples. It's for singles to go out and get together... not that Quinn would be up for that"_ Quinn did deserve the best though, at least that's what Rachel believed. She stopped to wonder if the girl sat next to her had a date tonight... not that she planned on asking to take her out if no one else was. And of course they couldn't even go out as friends with all the local eating establishments as over decorated as the school was right now_ "Why don't I just upset everyone with a rant and tell them how stupid all is. I swear if I see another paper heart- oh wait too late..." "It's not even anything to do with the anatomical heart, its something completely different. I could tell them the truth but my nerd side would show and... Can't have that happening"_ But even her head couldn't prevent herself from revealing the knowledge just in her own head_ "I mean it represents a seed that's the same colour and shape, a seed that was an early contraceptive... might as well hang a punch of rubbers from the ceiling... damn why didn't I think of that sooner"_ that would have been an interesting prank_ "People are clapping, oh right she's finished singing" _Rachel realised and joined in applauding a performance she'd barely listened to.

"Wow, that was great Mercedes, really great" Mr S complimented as the applause died down. He and the diva switched places, he returned to the floor as Mercedes returned to her seat, shyly glancing at Sam as she went. "Right" the teacher clapped his hands together to snap some life back into the room "Who's next?"

Everyone glanced at one another but no one was that prepared to take the floor just yet. If they'd been given at least a day's notice many would have felt confident enough to step up, but most of them didn't have a song in mind... or wanted to say who they were singing for. Eventually a voice broke the silence "Um, Mr S, I'd like to give it a go" the room was definitely surprised, but none more than the very girl who had spoken up, the one who'd just had a negative Valentine's day rant in her head

"Sure, Rachel, take the floor" Mr Schue stepped out of the way and took his seat on the front row again.

Before Rachel stepped down the risers she turned to the blonde boy who'd been sat behind her "Sam, could I borrow your guitar, I didn't bring mine today" but she'd noted he did, and it sat in its case next to him. Besides she needed the acoustic guitar and hers was still in storage, not unpacked since they moved in "I'll take good care of it"

"Her" he corrected with a little smile and twinkle in his eyes

"Yeah, I'll take good care of her" she agreed

"Okay" he turned and opened the case, revealing his pride and joy. He picked it up and stood up so he could but the strap over her himself. He even adjusted it for her.

"Thank you" she said, for both the lending of the guitar and helping her with the strap, even though she wouldn't have had any trouble doing that herself. Once she was geared up she went to the band and spoke to a few members she was familiar with, the key board player and the drummer in particular. She just felt it was more respectful that way, even if it undid her image just that little bit more. But it was better to know them than just hand them some sheet music two seconds before you wanted to perform.

Once she was finally ready and everything was set she finally took the centre of the floor

"Who is your song for?" damn, she was hoping to skip that part.

She couldn't help but tell the truth again, and ask herself what compelled herself to sing right now, except the "Ah, this is for Quinn" she muttered quickly before starting to play the guitar. The last time she'd stood here with a borrowed guitar in hand, it had been eye widening yet humorous. Mr Schue was ready to face palm, ready to hear Rachel's mockery

"_When you need to smile, but you can't afford it  
>Go on point it out, I'm gonna steal it<br>When the floor is more familiar than the ceiling  
>I will break in late at night, shake up how you feeling"<em>

The glee club watched her, truly amazed that this wasn't a joke, she was actually singing, with real feeling.

"_I'll never stop breaking the law for you  
>I'll never stop, helping to pull you through<br>Whatever it takes, to get what you need  
>Ignore the alarms, ignore the police<br>I'll never stop breaking the law for you"_

She actually looked at Quinn through the chorus, singing to her, telling her the truth. And even though her heart was beating a little faster, and she felt her face burning, Quinn didn't mind one bit that Rachel was singing to her in front of everyone

"_When you're taking steps, but you need to go faster  
>We can speed through streets so the shadows can't catch ya, ey ey hey yeah.<br>When the corridors and all the stairs are making you tired  
>I will come for you set the building on fire"<em>

Quinn found herself smiling stupidly at those last two lines. Rachel caught her and found herself smiling too, it was just automatic. Quinn actually believed Rachel too, if she hated school so much Rachel would want to fix that, she might just burn down the school for her.

"_I'll never stop breaking the law for you  
>I'll never stop, helping to pull you through<br>Whatever it takes to get what you need  
>Ignore the alarms, ignore the police<br>I'll never stop breaking the law for you"_

Even Santana couldn't help but admire Rachel's efforts, especially when it was making the girl she was singing too react so much. If only she was brave enough for Brittany. They were out so what was the problem really? Anyway, back to the interesting performance in front of her.

"_I'll never stop, I'll never stop no, I'll never stop no  
>Breaking the law for you<br>I'll never stop, I'll never stop no, I'll never stop no  
>Breaking the law for you"<em>

And she meant it, she really did, something stupid inside her would make her do anything for this girl. But that didn't have to mean she was stupidly in love with her, friend s could totally but everything on their line for another friend they really cared about... right?

"_I'll never stop breaking the law for you  
>I'll never stop helping to pull you through<br>Whatever it takes to get what you need  
>Ignore the alarms ignore the police<br>I'll never stop breaking the law for you_

_I'll never stop breaking the law for you"_

She finished to the biggest applause she'd received from the club to date, it filled her with that euphoria it she used to get when she'd do a Mercedes and blast their ears with her voice. But with this light euphoria came the nerves, she'd never actually sung for someone she liked before... not that this is exactly what it was, it was friendship, she reminded herself.

Rachel just went back to her seat, gratefully passing Sam back his guitar. She couldn't look at Quinn now. She should have explained herself then and there, it really wasn't what they must have thought. She was afraid though. She didn't want to see what Quinn was thinking or how she was feeling. Which was a shame, as if she'd been brave enough she may have been surprised that Quinn was still watching her with a soft eyes and admiration.

...

"I really liked what you sung today in glee club" Quinn said casually as she closed her locker door. She hadn't had the courage or time to discuss what was sung that morning, so now at Lunch time on the way to the cafeteria, it seemed like a good opportunity.

"Um, thanks" Rachel muttered as she stepped into time with Quinn

"You normally sing something fun" she noted as she hugged a book to her front and gripped the brown paper bag that contained her home made lunch "... that was a little more serious and heartfelt. And Mercedes was stunned, you sure showed her"

"Ugh, she's just really getting on my nerves, you know? I think she could be a great person, we all know she's a great singer, she should just try being friends with some people. It's lonely at the top... and even lonelier when you think you're at the top" she spoke from experience obviously

"Yeah" Quinn just nodded, noting again how Rachel diverted the conversation "That song though" she cautiously watched Rachel who was just watching her feet "It was really for me?"

"Well yeah... and as Mr S said in honour of Valentines day, you know a love song" Quinn felt her heart clench at hearing Rachel use the L word, and sober this time "I thought it was okay, I mean it was written for sisterly love, and although I don't see you as a sister, you're my best friend and, its still about a strong friendship" and then she felt herself relax, deflate at Rachel's further explanation.

"Oh right" she nodded "Thank you" she added, meaning to thank Rachel all along. She then confessed "I don't think anyone's sung just me a song before" at least not one that made her feel like that.

"That's okay. Sorry I was your first" the brunette punk laughed awkwardly "But who else was I going to sing that type of song to anyway..." she felt the need to explain further to play down the performance "besides I knew I should start treating these assignments a little more seriously. I'm actually starting to like Glee club again, and I'd really love to be there when you guys go to nationals"

"Rachel, _when_ we go to nationals, you will be leading us there. It seems like even Kurt likes you more than he does Mercedes at the moment. And after the way you sung earlier, we'll all be backing you Rach" she watched her friend

Rachel smirked playfully back at her "Are you trying to flatter me?"

"Kinda" she smiled and ducked her head as she tucked a stand of hair behind her ear as a distraction "I mean what I say though. You've come a long way from just trying to upset everyone at the beginning of the year"

"Yeah... that _was_ more fun" Rachel chuckled

"You don't mean that" Quinn hoped more than anything, only for Rachel's safety "Do you?"

"Not sure... I mean did I have fun being _just_ a bitch, sure. Do I like singing in Glee club... yeah I do. But..." she just shrugged "Who knows where we'll be in another 6 months" she sighed with wonder.

When they reached the cafeteria Rachel just wanted to throw up again. But with all the pink and red decorations she feared she'd just throw up confetti. They soon found the rest of the glee club's table and took seats opposite one another at one end of the table.

"So, has any lucky young man gained your company for a date tonight?" Rachel asked curiously

"Nope" Quinn answered simply as she unpacked her lunch, just some fruit and a sandwich.

"Really? Haven't you been asked?" Rachel really couldn't believe that. The theme of the day seemed to be dating so why wasn't Quinn?

"Finn might have suggested a friend date, I turned him down" she kept her voice low so he didn't over hear but she wasn't really feeling bad about turning him down or anything. He seemed perfectly happy with the attention a Junior Cheerio was giving him lately anyway, good for him, she thought "What about you, any lucky girl for you to take out tonight?"

"Nope" Rachel answered the same way Quinn did

"Really?"

She raised an eyebrow "Are you _really_ surprised?"

"Well yeah. Sometimes when we go out you find 3 or 4 girls to dance with... and you know, kiss and stuff" she even got Quinn to dance with her a couple of times "Why wouldn't you find someone?"

'_Why are you so interested in my dating habits anyway?'_ Rachel wanted to ask, but she might be reading Quinn wrong "Come on Quinn, you know that's all meaningless, they're just flings, all those girls call themselves straight. Besides" she lowered her voice, not wanting certain other people at the tables ears to burn "I only know of one out lesbian in this school, and she's dating the only out bisexual, so no, no one for me to give all my attention to" she pointed out "I guess I'll just have to fuss over Raven... at least she seems to like all the attention I give her" she smiled softly, but then scoffed again at Quinn "Did you really think I'd find someone who'd wanna go out with me?"

"Don't say stuff like that!" Quinn scolded

"What?" she shrugged, completely oblivious to what she'd done wrong.

"Just don't put yourself down" Quinn grumbled "You're not going to go out tonight and get stupidly drunk like new years are you?" she asked suspiciously, again she was just thinking about Rachel's safety "Not that you can't if you want to I just hope you don't... or at least don't like get too drunk again"

"I don't know what I'm going to do tonight. Probably hang out with Raven, she's getting really big" she announced almost like a proud parent "So if you haven't got a date are you hanging out with your mom tonight, watching crappy chic flicks or something?"

"No, she's going out"

"Ooh a date who's the lucky guy?" she asked as she casually stole a grape from in front of Quinn and threw it into her mouth.

"Your dad" Quinn said plainly as she held onto a smirk

"Okay, just lost my appetite" she pulled a face as if that grape had turned super sour in her mouth.

Quinn just giggled, only a little though "They're not going on a date date, just going out. It's nice you know, like they've got someone, without a messy relationship. A dependable friend" Kind of like what Quinn and Rachel had.

"I'm sure if Judy wanted a relationship its not too late for her to go out there and find a guy, maybe even a toy boy" Rachel suggested, all on a playful note

Quinn pulled a sour face of her own, imagining a weird set up with her mom and a younger man, what if it was something like Shelby and Puck. She managed to hold back a shudder, but just barely "Okay, now I've just lost my appetite"

"Oh good, because mine just came back" Rachel chirped as she stole half of Quinn's sandwich and took a bite "Your mom makes a great sandwich" she complimented with her mouth full

Quinn just shook her head to herself as her friends behaviour and the comment "I'm not five you know, I do make my own lunch"

"Wow, beautiful and she can make sandwiches, you'll make someone a great wife one day" Rachel playfully jibed

"You know I always offer to bring you a lunch as well" she avoided any compliment, it would only make her blush "Seeing as you never bother"... how many people had actually called her Beautiful? Hot, pretty, yeah she'd been called that but how often did that other word come up?

"Nah, its okay. I'll just steal yours" She took another bite then climbed off her seat "Anyway, gotta go talk to Blaine about something, see you later?" she asked

"Yeah, can I give you a ride home? I mean I know I'll see you before then but, just asking" Quinn tried to keep herself composed.

"I'd love a ride home, thanks" Rachel nodded "Thanks for the sandwich. See you later"

"See ya" She just watched as Rachel walked past Blaine, said something in his ear to get his attention and make his leave too. Then with the boy following she walked with her usual strong confidence out of the cafeteria

While Quinn's gaze was still on the door Santana slid into the seat Rachel had just been occupying "Give it up already"

She was so distant she didn't even see Santana take the seat so she was a startled when Santana spoke "Give what up?"

"You and Berry" Santana said like it was obvious "There's got to be something there Q, you don't just a girl steal your food and watch her leave like that, all twinkly eyed, and it mean nothing. Not forgetting her little performance this morning"

"Well..." Quinn just bit her bottom lip anxiously

Santana seemed thrown, she sat up straighter in her seat "Q? Really?"

"Do you think it happens, I'm not gay but she-" she lowered her voice to make sure no one would easily hear what she was saying "She's different"

Santana just smirked, but there was a sense of satisfaction behind it "Ironic isn't it?"

"What?" Quinn asked

"When we were in New York you said how you just wanted someone to love you, well you got it" she couldn't forget that breakdown, it was the first time she'd really let herself break in front of other people since the pregnancy.

"Yeah I guess" she also found it funny how she'd been thinking about that a few weeks ago.

"Was it the song?" Santana asked, wondering what was the point when Quinn started to feel something back.

"A little but... no" she decided "there's been other things. Besides she said the song didn't mean what I think we all thought it meant" she pretended she didn't care

"What? You mean it didn't mean she's crazy for you" that's all the rest of the group had read from it

"Yeah she said it's more about close friend love, and care and stuff, not technically love love"

"Bull shit" Santana scoffed "Maybe it meant that originally but Berry wants you so bad everyone can see it. So forget what she said, that's just got to be cover so you don't freak out on her" Santana encouraged. she obviously wasn't one to get all mushy but seeing two people finally stop dancing round one another would be really great right about now "...So what you gonna do about it?"

"Uh, I don't know" she'd pursued Finn for his school status, and Sam had pursued her... Puck had just been there. So she didn't know about going after someone when it actually meant more than the social hierarchy. In the recent days, maybe recent weeks when she thought about all this, the social aspect hadn't really occurred to her.

"Well you can't wait for her, there's no way she'll make a move, she thinks you're Queen of the straights, and so not interested" Santana even surprised herself by dishing out advice.

"I know" She'd stopped and avoided Rachel's advances for months now, the early ones had been a little too much teenage boy and the recent ones sweet but inappropriate, so she knew by now Rachel wouldn't try anything, at least not while she was sober.

"_Are_ you gonna make a move, Q?" the Latina asked, worried- no not worried, Santana Lopez didn't do worried, but she was... something that Quinn would back out and she'd have to watch more of this painful denial until graduation

"I don't know" she simply said again "I wouldn't even know how to"

"Just invite her over to watch a movie or something, then make out with her" she made it sound easy

"I'm not you San" Quinn shyly laughed, mostly to cover her own nerves at the idea

"Well I wouldn't make out with her anyway"

"You kissed her before" Quinn reminded

"Yeah to make you jealous" Santana sighed her explanation. She really hoped Quinn would have figured that one out already "So what are you gonna do?"

"Well... I guess I'll just talk to her, when we get home after school or something"

"Sounds like a plan" She then laughed "It's gotta be some talk though Q, she's gonna be in deep dark denial when you tell her you wuv her"

"I don't- it's not that, not yet but-" She stopped her stuttering and narrowed her eyes at the girl opposite her "wait did you just say 'wuv'?"

"No" Santana answered way too quickly

"You so did" now it was Quinn's turn to tease "Britt-Britt turned you soft" she said poutily and playful

"Shut up" Santana mumbled

"Aww you really are in _wuv_" she laughed

"Shut up" the raven haired girl said a little more forceful

"But you are" she poked fun again

"Whatever" she waved it off, maybe she was, who cared "So you finally gonna satisfy the little Berry with a good hard-"

"I'm not going to sleep with her" Quinn cut her off dryly

"Oh come on, she's been begging and sulking for months at least let her get to second base"

It wasn't that simple and Quinn knew it "This is sensitive-"

"Then go see a doctor" Santana suggested. Quinn just narrowed her eyes, unamused at the Latina "Bad joke? Okay"

"The situation is sensitive, I need to talk to her, really talk to her before anything can happen and talking to her gets kinda hard sometimes"

"Oh please, she bends over backwards for you, if you want her to talk about something I'm sure she'd just come out and say it"

"Yeah but this is different, this isn't glee club stuff or her drinking or smoking habits, this is extra serious. I don't even know if she'll believe me" Quinn started to voice her concerns

"I don't think you've got anything to worry about Q, I mean just the way she looks at you its pretty obvious how she still feels"

"She told me San" Quinn let her know "She told me she loves me"

"When?" Santana furrowed her brow. She couldn't imagine Rachel ever doing such a thing

"When I left your new years party and picked her up. She was so drunk I took her back to my house because I didn't want her alone"

"Sure, so what did she say exactly?"

"I was trying to get her into bed- wait I mean-" she fumbled, afraid Santana would just turn that into a joke too

She actually reached across eh table and placed her hand over the blondes to get her to focus "Q for the next 5 minutes I'm not gonna make fun of you so just talk, okay?"

"Fine" Quinn agreed, she had to retract her hand though, nice Santana was just plain freaky "she was really drunk I was taking her shoes off, and she grabbed my wrists and said she loves me" she suppressed a grin, literally having to bite the inside of her mouth to stop herself "although it sounded more like she 'luffs' me" she explained "She was really drunk"

"Does she know she said this?"

"I don't know. She's normally awkward after things like that, and she was kinda normal, unless she was distracted, her dad had just got home... so I don't know"

The smart Latina picked up on a few certain words in that last sentence from Quinn "Does that sort of thing happen a lot then?"

"What sort of thing?"

"You said thing's, plural. So what else has happened that's made her awkward after?"

"Um, just some things" she played with some of the food in front of her, not feeling up to actually eating at the moment "there was a... situation when we were song searching for sectionals"

"What sort of situation?" Santana pushed, trying her best to not push impatiently.

"Um... ever have a pillow fight that turned into something else?" she mumbled

"A what?" Santana honed her ears on Quinn a little more, trying to hear better.

"You know, you're just-" she mumbled and gestured nothingness with her hands "messing around and you slip and then she's on top of you and-"

"Oh god, Q" she gasped, then lent forward and hissed "I didn't think you two had already done the nasty"

"No we haven't it was nothing just an almost kiss" an almost kiss she didn't know she wanted until right there in the moment "And whenever I'm thinking, questioning what I'm feeling I think of that time... and how I really wish she'd kissed me" she could remember it all so vividly, even now "I touched her face, I leant in and everything and nothing she just stared at me"

"So why didn't it go further, I can't see even Berry not making a move if you made a little move first"

Quinn furrowed her brow as she thought about it "I don't rememb- You!" the rest of the memory clicked "You called me, the phone, that's why she moved away" she glared as she saw the corners of Santana's lips being tugged into a sly smirk "Don't smirk like that"

"Smirk like what?" she asked as innocently as Satan could

"Like you're so happy that you interrupted a possible moment between us"

"Okay 5 minutes is up, seriously she luff's you" she rolled her eyes "you guys nearly kiss- just get it on already, its getting annoying to watch you two"

"She said it hurts to be my friend and she wished we'd never met, that night she was really drunk... what if I hurt her even more? I could hurt her just trying to tell her I feel- I mean she might have moved on already" and she just wasn't telling her that she didn't have a date tonight. Or she just wasn't interested in Quinn anymore... but the song. All thoughts were so conflicting right now.

"Well, I'm not trying to rain on your parade but you know she keeps mentioning some girl called Raven... is that a girlfriend or something, or just an easy hook up for her?"

It was Quinn's turn to laughs lightly "Raven is her dog"

"I didn't know she had a dog" Santana commented lightly

"Yeah, I um, well my mom helped too but I got her a puppy for Christmas"

"Wow..." Santana furrowed her brow "that's kinda a big deal right?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to get her something-"

"To take her attention off you?" Santana cut her off

"Not exactly" but her old friend wasn't too far off either "Just something that could so easily love her back... while I figure stuff out"

"A distraction then" exactly what she'd already guessed

"I guess" she shrugged, far more weakly this time

"You got nothing to worry about Q, she said it herself she's got no one to give all her attention to. And this Raven is just her bitch so you're okay, there's no way she's moved on already" Then Santana cautiously looked round them, as if what she was about to say was more dangerous if an outsider heard than what they'd already been discussing "You better not hurt her Q, we need her for Regionals and nationals... and don't tell her I said that"

"I won't" that was the last thing she wanted

"Good" then her nosey curiosity got in the way again "Why haven't you said something to Berry already?"

"I was just worried. I've been feeling guilty lately" she mumbled, just as guilty as had been feeling 'lately'

"Why?" she couldn't understand it... except maybe she could because she'd faltered long enough with Brittany

"Because I like her"

Santana just screwed her face up in further confusion "... That doesn't make any sense"

"She told me she loves me" She sighed heavily, hating that she had to spell this out "I _like _her. I'm not saying I don't- or can't- the other thing but... it's going to take a little time... what if I'm not enough?"

"Q seriously, have you looked at yourself? After me and Britt you're like the hottest thing around here. And you and Berry, you have something weird already, like you guys are really close now. And she already feels some heavy shit for you Q, so as long as you really mean how you feel, I can't see anything standing in your way" Quinn wondered if Santana's breakthrough in her relationship with Brittany made her think she was a fountain of relationship knowledge... well she _did_ have more experience than many "... just say something soon. Berry might be annoying but she's loyal like a dog and she's actually really nice... and I can see how sweet she is for you Quinn. Don't let her find someone else... It hurts like a knife when they do"

She just nodded, silently thankful for the advice.

...

By half way through lunch the glee club had split, Quinn spent the remaining time trying to find Rachel. She wasn't so surprised when she turned a corner in the corridor and found Rachel yelling at someone, who was just out of sight standing just inside another hallway. She also saw a fuming Santana dragging an upset Brittany away from what Quinn imagined was a scene

She then saw Rachel roughly shove who ever she'd been yelling at, telling them to 'get lost' or a wear filled equivalent of that.

Well she found Rachel, she might as well actually go and talk to her now. She also thought it might be a good idea to try and calm her down, she looked really upset, angrier than Quinn had seen her in a long time "Hey what's wrong?"

"Ugh, just some kid with dreads, getting all up in San and Britt's business" She spat, as she kept her eyes on the corridor the guy she was annoyed with just disappeared down "He complained because they tried to kiss, he even threatened to go to Figgins, the bigot" she clenched her fist "Using damn bible quotes"

"What did you do?" Quinn asked, worried as usual

She noticed Rachel pout like a child and kick an invisible pebble across the floor "Threatened to shave his head and burn his dumb sandals" she then added even more darkly "while they're still on his feet"

"Rachel" her scold became a chuckle at the usual Rachelness

"What, people like that piss me off?" she sighed, moodily angry again. This was no laughing matter, Quinn now got that message "I mean any asshole can quote Leviticus, don't know if he bothered to read the rest of the bible, you know the major stuff" she wandered over to a locker and slammed the side of her fist on it, she didn't have to hit it that hard for it to make a satisfying loud noise "I mean come on it says bushes can talk and two of every animal can all fit on one big damn boat!" she looked back at Quinn "And if that's not enough for you, hey Jesus had two dads and he turned out just fine!" she clenched her teeth just like her fists. Her voice was staying surprisingly calm but the rest of her wasn't.

"Rach" the blonde reached out and squeezed Rachel's shoulder as if to pinch her out of her angry day-mare "calm down you're going to burst a blood vessel or something"

"It's all so stupid, 'God' didn't even write that damn book, a bunch of crazy old men did, years after supposed events happened" she'd held onto the anti valentine's day rant, but she couldn't hold onto the anti religion one. She'd lost any faith long ago "lets face it if someone started saying all this now they'd be tackled into a straight jacket and locked up"

"Actually new religions are created all the time and people still follow them" Quinn reluctantly pointed out.

"Well religion is stupid" as soon as the words fell from her mouth her eyes fell onto the cross around Quinn's neck "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" she apologised

"It's okay" Quinn assured her. She had had many faith questioning days "I'm not offended-"

"I just meant what is wrong with the human race. He called them unnatural! He called what I am unnatural" Quinn saw and heard the vulnerability in those words "Did you know that examples of homosexuality can be found in over 450 species on this damn planet but homophobia can only be found in one?"

"I didn't actually know that" Quinn muttered as she bowed her head guiltily. Not even sure why she was felt guilty... maybe for her past opinions. The ones she had as a child, her father's opinions that she'd been told were her opinions too. That all changed when she got to high school though.

"Yeah, well what one looks unnatural now?" Rachel huffed humourlessly

"Rach... that guy, y-you should just ignore him" it was starting to hit home. At first she'd just been thinking of herself and her feelings... not about all the things, external factors that might affect her if she did pursue anything with the brunette

"No, it's not right" she refused to let this thing slide. A slushy attack fine, but this was too personal "What's the big deal with labels all the time?" she now sounded like she wanted to cry "If people weren't so obsessed with them then life would be so much easier... why should I live in fear of who I love? Why should anyone?"

"Of course you shouldn't, no one should" Quinn now realised she had no choice, she needed to be brave and tell Rachel the truth. Screw the outside factors, screw everything else, Rachel made her _feel_ like no one else had, she had to say something. Not here though, not in a hallway with bad vibes floating around "... life's just unfair. You've just got to make what you do and how you do it count... and make it matter to you, forget everyone else"

"I've done pretty well at messing that up so far" Rachel chuckled self pityingly

"You've done so much more than you can ever imagine, so many good things for so many people" Quinn told her, managing to make Rachel smile

"You're too kind to me" she muttered. Quinn went to say something else, to reassure her she wasn't just being kind but speaking the truth, when Rachel mumbled a little more "I'd say do you wanna get out of here but I know you, you need Math, or English or whatever the hell we've got now"

Quinn thought about it, she didn't want to wait. She was feeling brave. Give her an hour or two and she might change her mind "...No we can go if you want" Rachel's head immediately shot up from staring at her boots, very surprised by her blonde friend "it's only one class. Today, with all this love stuff, is making me wanna puke, so we can go"

"Really?" she quirked a curious eyebrow

"Yeah, um, maybe we could go hang out at my place" Quinn suggested, trying to keep cool.

"Sure" Rachel liked the sound of that

...

In Quinn's car on the way home the blonde could still feel the tension, outrage and upset form what she'd actually missed in the hall still lingering in the car.

"Let's talk about something else" she suggested, not that they were talking about anything already anyway

"Okay, like what?" Rachel asked

"...I don't know" she laughed to herself. She hadn't got that far in planning and her head was full of things she didn't plan on talking about right now.

"Well you said let's talk about something else, shouldn't you have a topic in mind" she laughed lightly at her blonde friend

"I just meant let's talk about something that doesn't just piss you off" she explained "Tell me something about you?"

"Like what?" Rachel scoffed, what didn't Quinn already know?

"I don't know..." she shrugged in her driver's seat "a little secret, or habit. Is it so bad if I want to get to know more about you?"

"Yes that is very bad, you'll find out just how weird I really am"

"Oh yeah, give me an example" Quinn dared. She kept her eyes firmly on the road ahead but she could see Rachel stuck in the passenger seat, stuck thinking of something to say.

"Okay but don't say I didn't warn you"

"I won't"

"Okay..." she held her breath before mumbling "I have many weird habits and things"

"I think everyone does" Quinn said dryly. That wasn't much of a confession, she felt disappointed.

"Well you tell me one of yours and I'll tell you one of mine" Rachel wasn't about to admit something stupid without some ammo to use herself.

"Okay... um..." she thought and though. Rachel watched as she bit her lip before her confession "...I still sleep with a stuffed animal"

Her eyes lit up in amusement. Did that mean Quinn liked to cuddle... too? "... That lamb that's always on your bed?" she asked, remembering the one that is always there when she went round, without fail, sat on Quinn's pillow... not that she was super creepy and could remember Quinn's room so well, or anything.

"Yeah" she muttered shyly and fought a embarrassed blush from painting her face

"You don't when we've had sleepovers though?" Rachel pointed out, so maybe it wasn't much of an obsession.

"Well I didn't want you making fun of me, so I couldn't when you were round, or bring it when I stayed at yours"

"You could have though, I wouldn't have made _that_ much fun" she teased, Quinn just smiled "We haven't had a sleep over in a while... not counting new years" Rachel noted

"No... but we're normally drunk when we do" Quinn reminded

"True"

"Enough about me, tell me one of your habits, one that I don't know about already" She needed some ammo too now after what she'd admitted.

"What ones _do_ you know about?" Rachel watched as Quinn just smiled mischievously to herself "Okay... Sometimes when I'm feeling sensitive, like lonely, I wear a t-shirt or an undershirt that's a little bit too small for me... because it feels like I'm getting a cuddle" Quinn just sniggered, almost before Rachel had finished her confession "Don't laugh" she yelped defensively.

"That is so cute" Quinn teased

"I'm not cute" Rachel stated defiantly

"Only, you are" Quinn said again, because she thought Rachel was, behind her image she was a big softie.

Rachel was about to defend herself again when Quinn's phone chimed. The blonde dug it out of her cardigan pocket and bought it up so she could rest her hand against the steering wheel as she used her phone

She found she had a text from Santana that read: **Y U not in class?**

"What's that?"Rachel asked curiously as she watched Quinn slowly type a reply, her eyes flicking from the road ahead to her phone.

"Santana's texting me" she quickly explained. Meanwhile she was actually surprised that Santana was even in class

"You know you shouldn't text while driving" Rachel told her

"Okay mom"Quinn retorted like a child.

She finally sent her short reply: **Gone home w/ R**

"Real mature" Rachel rolled her eyes at Quinn's childish antics "What's she saying?" she asked

"Just asking where we are" although that was presumptuous, she'd only asked where Quinn was.

Quinn's phone chimed again before she even put it away. this one read: **Nce 1, u tld her yet?**

"What's she saying now?" Rachel asked curiously

"Just that she's saying thanks to you for earlier" Quinn lied, she didn't want to confess in the car, not now. She wanted a calm environment, where she could keep herself calm and look Rachel dead in the eye, and even a place where she could run and hide when she felt she'd just humiliated herself

"Is that sarcasm?" Rachel wondered aloud.

"No, seems genuine"

"Why isn't she texting me?" Rachel asked

"You never have your phone on you"Quinn chuckled knowingly

Quinn sent another reply: **No, not yet**

"Oh yeah" Rachel sighed playful "Do you want me to reply for you?" she offered

"Nope, I got it" she couldn't have Rachel reading what they were really talking about, obviously.

Quinn read the next incoming message: **Jst mke a mve alrdy**

"Kay" Rachel just shrugged

**I'll tlk 2 her bout it whn we get hme! **She text back, hoping the exclamation point would make it's point

It didn't, Santana still felt the need to text back. This time to scold her friend: **U Drivin n txtin? Get ur eyes on the road!**

Quinn quickly typed out her last message, ready to drop the phone once it was sent: **U sound just like her.** She sent the text and dropped her phone in one of the cup holders she hardly ever used.

Quinn saw it out of the corner of her eye "Quinn!" she heard Rachel gasp next to her. Before she could even register how to react she felt a hand slide over one of hers, she felt the steering wheel turn sharply just before the car was shunted, the shattering of glass and the feeling of being crushed was the last thing Quinn heard and felt...

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so I'm mean, and maybe it's a stupid idea and I'm worried you'll all leave now but the 'peril and drama' will only last a little while, promise :**

**Let me know what you think... I think...**


	18. Living Dead

**Thanks for the reviews: sayitwithyourhands, anon, Musicfutbolfan6, YourInnate, Kaioo, agoodwinpd, musicwolf89, itsDraaaaaven, LoveSKINS94, Harely Quinn Davidson, turnaroundchloe, writting is love, Onesixteen, supernena25, WolfAlpha13, recklesslittleliar, kutee, faberryy, Guest, Midwinternight, mika-faberryluver4395, Guest, MattMurdoch65, MeeksMcFly, priscilla20 and TrustInFaith**

**Okay, so from your reviews I feel most of you will feel this might be going too far, believe me its a thousand times toned down from what I originally was going to write. On another note my medical expertise is nil so if I get things wrong, correct me or lets just let it go, it's fiction yeah?**

**Any who, here we go *Hold's Breath***

**Posted: 2/8/13**

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><p><span>Living Dead<span>

Flowers. Flowers were used for so many events. Quinn remembered when life was simple, when she and her sister would sit with their parents at the dinner table every evening, she remembered one time that her dad told about when both she and her sister were born. How he bought Judy a bouquet of red roses, and for his new born baby a single pale pink rose. The thought made Quinn smile, even now she managed to smile inside at the thought.

She looked down at the bouquet in her hands, it was nothing special, just a generic mix of flowers she and her mom had picked up on their way here. She gripped them gently as the anxiety set it.

The elevator doors opening brought her out of her day dreams and thoughts. It wasn't too noisy on this floor, not like the ER or the ICU, it was nice and quiet up on the 4th floor.

She and Judy exited the Elevator and started across the reception area. The receptionist and nurses hanging around said quick hello's to Quinn as she passed by and asked how she was. 'Good' was all her reply, the same reply she gave them with a smile every day.

She and Judy came to an abrupt stop outside one of the doors. Quinn just stared at the door "Are you going to be okay?" Judy asked from behind her

"I'm fine mom" she nodded to herself "You can go" she gripped at the flowers again

Judy walked round her so she could actually look her daughter in the eye "Are you really sure?" She checked

"Yeah, you'll only embarrass me or something" she smiled at her mom "and you should have some you time" the teen encouraged

"I have my 'me time' whenever you're here. I get enough, believe me" Judy reassured her

"I'm sorry" Quinn bowed her head guiltily

She felt Judy put her hand on her shoulder and give it a squeeze, in hopes of comforting her daughter "Don't be sorry. I love you Quinn"

Quinn raised her head again, to meet her mother's worried gaze "Love you too mom" she said with a strange mixture of warmth and sincerity.

"Are you really okay if I go?" Judy didn't want to go, but if Quinn didn't want her there she'd let her have what she wanted. She'd probably just find a vending machine and then

"Yes, please, you can leave" Quinn said a little more forceful but then felt guilty. Judy had taken time off work to bring her here.

"Okay. I'll be back in a couple of hours, when visiting hours are over" She told Quinn "Just get the nurses to call me if you need me sooner"

"I will" Quinn nodded. With everything in plan Judy forced herself to leave, but not before bending down to give her daughter a hug, a hug Quinn automatically responded and reciprocated the hug, reaching up and wrapping her arms round her mother "Okay" Jude reluctantly pulled away "See you later"

"See you later" Quinn replied while she watched Judy walk back down the hospital corridor.

She then looked back at the door, she put the flowers on her lap and reached out and turned the handle and shoved it open. She then wheeled herself through and reached out so she could pull the door back and close it behind her.

"Hey" She wheeled over to the bed "How are you doing today?"she asked but was only meet with the beep and whir of the equipment in the room "Still asleep huh?" she asked sadly as she looked over the still body of her best friend.

"I'm good, I think" She 'replied' as if Rachel had asked her the same question "You know that sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach? Yeah I've got that all the time... and it's because of you obviously. Despite everything that's happened and still is happening to me I don't even think its registered to me... I can't walk Rach... there's hope though, I go to physical therapy, I can already move again, just a tiny bit... but none of it matters. I haven't thrown a tantrum yet, I haven't cursed because of it... because I just think of you" she bowed her head and closed her moth and eyes, in some attempt to regain all control of her emotions. She didn't want to break, she broke all the time, everyday. But for one minute she just wanted to stay strong "You missing in my life is bigger than not being able to walk... do you understand...? Probably not, right?" she scoffed to herself.

She wheeled herself over to the far side of the bed, to the bedside table where three vases sat, one with flowers from the glee club, one with flowers from her and Judy. She reached up and removed the wilting bunch from the vase with the flowers she'd got Rachel a few days ago and put the new bunch in. They sure did brighten the room, when such a bright life was flickering in the bed next to it.

"This guy Joe, he's been helping me... you'd like him" Quinn then laughed to herself "No you wouldn't, you'd hate him" she didn't even know who he was in this whole mess, that he was possibly the catalyst of this entire accident, of course if she'd know she wouldn't be accepting of his help "You don't like any boy who gets near me" she noted, but Rachel's protectiveness wasn't basically possessive, it was care Quinn saw when Rachel deterred her from boys, like Puck and Finn "But he's okay... for now. Artie... I don't know, he's different, he seems to think... he's a nice guy I've got nothing against him and I don't look down on him, metaphorically... I'm just not interested but I feel bad for..." she trailed off, feeling bad for thinking anything even partially negative about anyone else "this is so hard. Everyone's giving me all their attention and I haven't got time for it, because I'm thinking of you, and not just because you're lying here, in this bed, unmoving" A tear escaped from the corner of her eye and she mentally cursed herself "Its not _just_ that" she stressed "It-" No, no she couldn't go there right now.

She silently wheeled herself back round to the other side of the bed. The one nearer the door, the side of Rachel that had less things jammed into her arms and less machines in the way. She pushed the visitors chair back and, it took a couple of tries and some fidgety manoeuvring, still being new to this, but she finally had her chair where she wanted it, right by Rachel's side

"Before the accident, I wanted to tell you..." she trailed off yet again. 'New Subject' her mind chimed to avoid more tears.

"... Raven's okay. She's gotten really big... but she's not as lively, I think that's just because she misses you" she thought about the other night when Leroy and Raven came over for Dinner. This was hurting them all, but Judy still had the strength to be there for her daughter, who she was afraid would mentally break down about her own condition at any moment. And Judy still had strength to help her best friend. She often forced Leroy to stay for dinner just to make sure he was eating properly. Quinn couldn't stand the guilt at seeing him so distraught, but she forced herself through every dinner

"She really does, Leroy, um I mean your dad said she just lays by the front door waiting for you. And at night she sleeps in your room. She scratches at your bedroom door until your dad lets her in" and then when they were all at the Fabrays she remembered the way Raven reacted "She perks her ears up and gets impatient every time she hears a car door slam outside... Leroy said its the sweetest thing" and it was, she did it once when they were round "She's not the only one who really misses you of course... we all do. My mom would stay and visit longer but maybe you heard me, just outside, earlier tell her to go... I just want you all to myself" she admitted with a shy laugh "Shelby and Beth have been by a few times... Its hurting Shelby pretty bad too, I mean she did give birth to you Rach" Quinn quickly defended the woman

"I know even if I didn't see Beth for the first 18 years of her life and then found out something like this had happened, it would kill me" She dreaded even thinking about it "Shelby has also been there for your dad... even my mom... kinda like I was saying a few months back, we're a support system... and okay Shelby isn't there in the picture all the time but... it's nice to not feel so alone right now... the more people the better, right? Less chances you'll end up alone" alone, such a scary word "Rach if y-you- if you don't... if you dare leave me I swear..." her voice went so high as she tried to control herself "I'll just feel _so_ alone" she breathed

Quinn had to stop. She wiped desperately at her tear and composed herself again "Right" she sniffed "what else can I tell you?" she thought out loud "Oh yeah, I know all the glee club have visited... just not as much as me. Kurt and Mercedes with Blaine and Sam were here when I got here two days ago. Blaine and Kurt are together, but you already know that... that's what you were talking to Blaine about that day wasn't it... he wanted some advice about asking Kurt... he told me, he said how nice and supportive you were" she chuckled again, knowing that was usually a hidden trait of the girl in the bed "Sam and Mercedes are dating now too, which is more surprising... you said she needed toning down... I wonder if what happened to us was the thing that did that... she's different... almost likable now... well I meant likeable for you" she muttered "I was able to just about tolerate her before" she laughed lightly "Ronnie, Shelia and The Mack have been by too. Mack almost got herself kicked out for trying to light up a cigarette... she thought the smell might make you wake up because you've been trying to quit lately and the cravings have been driving you nuts" that memory definitely made her light up. Mack had told her how Rachel hadn't actually smoked, unless you counted second hand smoking, for over 3 months, but she'd complain all the time Mack lit up round her "Santana said she didn't come see you but Brittany then said they had visited together... and Santana might have cried just a little"

She heard a soft knock on the door behind her before it was opened; she then heard footsteps she recognised.

"Oh hey Quinn, how are you feeling today?" she heard the voice of Rachel's doctor ask as she came up behind Quinn, then round the foot of the bed and to the machines, so she could check on Rachel's progress.

"I'm good thanks. How are you Doctor Hanlon?" Quinn just replied politely, only slightly aggravated her time with Rachel had been interrupted.

"Busy" the doctor with the long blonde hair sighed "I didn't see you come in but I figured you'd be here" she smiled softly at the blonde teen

"Yeah, can't miss visiting hours" She just smiled back

"How's school?"

"It's good. Too quiet without Rachel though" she laughed lightly, then looked at Rachel's face, avoiding any judgement from the doctor, afraid she'd tell her she was stupid for visiting "I think she's looking better"

"I think I'll agree with you" Doctor Hanlon nodded as she looked over her patient "She's got more colour in her cheeks"

Quinn licked her lips, scared but wanting to say the next words cautiously "Leroy said you told him her brain activity had increased"

The doctor nodded "Quinn I should warn you-"

"I'm not stupid... but I can hope right" no one yet had said there was no reason to hope, Rachel's condition wasn't one of the worst they'd seen, it wasn't even in the top 50. But Coma's were difficult, right now all they could do was wait and monitor

"Yeah" The woman agreed. Life could be better if people could hold onto hope a little more often "All looks stable here. You take care Quinn" The Doctor said as she started to leave

"You too Doctor Hanlon" Quinn made sure she heard the door click shut, then waited a moment more of silence before she continued what she'd been doing before. That quiet time had made her think about silence.

"It's funny, the glee club used to be so quiet before you arrived in this town, we'd just be quiet because we were so used to Kurt and Mercedes taking the lead..." she whispered "but its even quieter now... like the heart of the club has stopped beating" her voice squeaked as she got tearful again. "No I didn't just say that" She wiped at her tears and chuckled to herself "I can hear you saying 'Oh my god you did not just say that'" she said in her best Rachel with an attitude impression "Yeah, that's such a stupid thing to say, sorry..." and she was, it occurred to her for the hundredth time that day alone, she was so very sorry "I'm sorry" she said it again with more meaning, her voice breaking yet again as her rollercoaster of emotions took another stomach flipping direction "Oh god Rach I'm so sorry, I need you to wake up I really do, I don't like being without you" she reached through the bars and took Rachel's hand, she wrapped her fingers round the unmoving ones and just wished there was a response "I promise Rach, if you just wake up... I'll- I'll just-"

"Santana told me you're in love with me... or at least you were a couple of months ago... and then you told me you love me, but you were drunk" with her free hand she checked her cardigan pockets. Jackpot when she actually found a tissue for her to use. She'd told herself when she got here today she wouldn't do this, but here she was, just crying anyway "When we were babysitting a couple of months ago I really wanted to talk to you about... things" she took a breath before whispering "Feelings" she was so afraid of so many things, mainly this conversation never getting finished "I wanted to know if you still had them" she swallowed thickly as she ran her thumb over Rachel's knuckles, the one's she'd defended Quinn with so often "I know it's wrong but the questions I asked you, I was trying to see if you'd- if we would actually work... together, in that way"

"Why did it take this, Rach?" she pulled herself even closer, so her knees were against the side of Rachel's bed "It shouldn't have, I should have been confident. I should have known earlier than I did, I thought I did but I was unsure. In the car on the way home, before we were hit, I was thinking about how and if I could really say certain things to you, and how you'd react" she wiped under her eyes again with the soggy tissue "I should have been brave, I should have just said what I deep down wanted to say" she squeezed the silent girls hand. If she pretended really hard, it was just like Rachel was sleeping... she really needed to wake up though. "I should have known what I was feeling earlier, I'm so stupid" she repeated to herself "I L-" the word immediately caught in her throat. She scoffed at herself "You're unconscious and I can't even say it" she blinked away what she wished was the last of her tears, and cleared her vision. She looked at Rachel's face, her motionless face... thankfully she didn't need a respirator "I can't say it out loud because it makes it real and what if I lose you, what if your dad gets that call, what if..." there were too many 'what if's floating around "What if I don't get the chance to say it to you?" she finally voiced her fear "And what if I said it now and made it real, it would just hurt more if the worst possible thing happened"

"But you won't leave me will you?" she asked the sleeping girl "You never did, especially when I needed you, so don't leave me now" she wished she was on control of that "I need you more than ever"

"Can you keep a secret?" she laughed again at her stupidity "Stupid question really, I know you can keep a secret"

"It's hard to sleep at night, so hard knowing you're not in the house next door. I have to think of comforting things to help me sleep, I have to hope things... like imagining your arms are wrapped round me, imagining you're right next to me" these were her deepest darkest thoughts, ones she was surprised she was admitting to herself "And then my thoughts go further... into the future and what we could do together, what we could accomplish... what we could have..." and when she thought of those things she knew she was going crazy but it helped her sleep at night, it pushed the bad thoughts away and welcomed warm thoughts "I know it's stupid. Even if we were something to one another, it doesn't mean it will work out... I'm not gay" she said sternly before her voice softened again "B-but you... its different"

"Maybe the fact you care for me, and you look out for me, maybe that won me over. Maybe I fell for you before that, way before that" those were some of the milder thoughts that kept her awake.

"My furthest thoughts and hopes... I see you cooking, cooking breakfast... and a little girl with my eyes and your hair, m-minus the pink streak, she's there watching you, helping you. And you talk about me, I'm still sleeping, waiting... and I'm pregnant... and we're all so happy" she felt herself shaking at her stupid confession "I want that, I know we're still in high school, and I got into Yale, I did, I forgot to tell you, as long as I get the grades I'm in. I missed my interview, but under the circumstances they let me have another chance, using a web cam because travel isn't easy right now. I thought it went badly, but... I got in. I just hope I got it for the right reasons" maybe she'd been at a slight advantage because of her disadvantage, not that she believed they'd let just anyone in anyway, but she also hated to think she got any sort of edge through pity "You'd be telling me that I did get it for the right reasons, I just know you" she smiled at the sleeping girl

"... I want us to have everything... I just want you... I'm not scared anymore" only she was scared, only not of her feelings for another girl any more "And I know now I can reciprocate... that night you were drunk and I took you back to mine, we shared the bed, you fell asleep. I told you it wouldn't work because I thought your feelings were so much stronger than mine, I thought any feelings any L- anything I gave back wouldn't be enough but I can be enough for you now Rach" she squeezed the still hand again "I can be enough for you, I want to try and be enough for you, I want to deserve you"

Quinn stopped again when she heard the door open again. She checked her watch, she didn't realise how much time had already passed. Judy didn't say anything as she stepped round the bed and took the flowers Quinn had taken out of the vase when she arrived. She put the flowers in the trash can in the corner.

She noted the mess Quinn's face was in, but she didn't ask, she never did because it was Quinn's business and if she wanted to talk about it Judy was sure she would.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked softly, she wanted Quinn to be able to say goodbye before a nurse came in and asked them to leave a little more abruptly.

"Almost" she nodded. Judy knew about her talking to Rachel as well, she didn't judge "I won't see you until next week, we've got Regionals in a couple of days. Its not really that far to travel but we've got enough money left over from the Christmas concert after renting the bus again to actually stay in some hotel the night before. Mr S seems to think we've got better chances if we're well rested... but right now I can't see how it will make a difference. So anyway, I won't be back straight away, but I'll let you know how it went" she looked to her hand that still lingered on Rachel's "I'd say we're going to win but you're not there, not like sectionals, so I can't be sure, I don't feel so sure" she regretfully removed her hand from Rachel's, it was clammy where they'd been holding hands for so long "I'll come back the day after, after school and let you know" she then looked briefly to her mother and just nodded.

With her permission Judy walked round and took control of Quinn's chair, she wheeled her back out of room, Quinn looking over her shoulder at Rachel for as long as she could. She didn't want to wait a week before she could see Rachel again.

...

Rachel was confused as she looked round the room, she didn't understand where she was. She wasn't an idiot she could plainly see she was in a hospital, but who was that in the bed she was standing next to. She looked more carefully, and inspected the persons features.

She stepped away slowly in shock when she recognised herself at the body in the hospital bed. She started to panic and ran to the door, wrenching it open, she had to get away from this night mare. It only worsened when she didn't open the door to a hospital corridor but to a crowded school one instead. Soon she found words falling from her mouth to go along with all the other strange things.

"Every day I feel the same  
>Stuck and I can never change<br>Sucked into a black balloon  
>Spat into an empty room"<p>

The door behind her slammed shut, not letting her back if she wanted to go back. She pushed herself forward squeezing her way down the halls, through the other kids who didn't seem to even notice her. She didn't get far before something caught her eye. At one of the girls bathrooms, there was thin smoke seeping round the edges of the door. She pushed it open to find a scene from her past waiting inside.

She chuckled to herself as she watched herself with the skanks, even Quinn dressed like them, giving some girl a swirly, apparently she'd given Mack a dirty look and all had ended badly for her. They dunked her then took her lunch money. The drench girl then ran for it while they counted their findings.

With a smile Rachel just continued down the hallway.

"_Was it really worth it  
>Did I really deserve it?<br>It happens when you're hurting  
>And cut me out the surface<br>Of my heart, of my heart"_

She stopped by an open door way and peered inside. This was no school time scene her eyes were watching. It was one of the first times she took Quinn, plain Quinn to a club, the first time with the other skanks. Quinn had been uncomfortable, some guy had definitely upset her and Rachel had felt responsible. She wasn't going to stand for it. She dealt with the guy, the image she was looking at now was Quinn standing awkwardly in the middle of the floor, surrounded by others. She stood out like a beacon and not just because of how she was dressed. Quinn watched past Rachel as she pinned the guy to the wall and lowly threatened him.

Rachel shook her head at herself with a chuckle. It was the first night she took Quinn out with the other skanks. That first girl she met, the first version of Quinn was so unsure of herself, so fickle. One moment she'd be telling Rachel what's what, the next... she was vulnerable. Maybe it was based on some kind of pity, maybe that's why Rachel first fell for her, maybe that's why she just wanted to wrap her arms around this intriguing girl and hold onto her.

"_I'm living dead, only alive  
>When I pretend, that I have died<br>I haven't lived life, I haven't lived love  
>Just bird's eye view from the sky above<br>I'm dead, I'm living dead"_

She watched the frozen, worried Quinn, she looked lost at what to do. It may have taken her minutes to figure some of Quinn out, over pie at her house, like a big event in her life that still scarred her, both physically and mentally. When she mentioned a few possibilities and the word Teen pregnancy had come from her mouth, Quinn's sudden discomfort was answer enough for her. And at that same time Rachel felt a kindred spirit in the blonde... she knew loss, she knew what it was like to have someone dear to you taken away. Not necessarily her older sibling but her younger ones had been taken away, never allowed to be seen again.

She bowed her head before leaving that doorway and continuing down the hall.

"_Got bubble wrap around my heart  
>Waiting for my life to start<br>But everyday it never comes  
>Permanently at square one"<em>

She passed by one door to the choir room and spotted herself singing. By the look on the groups face this had to be the first time she'd sung. They weren't impressed, though a few looked threatened. That was probably nothing to do with the singing though that had been mediocre on the day, it was more likely because of her piano burning antics earlier in the week.

"_When it's late at night  
>I'm so dissatisfied<br>The weight of an empty life  
>Will lessen in the moonlight<br>In the light"_

The next scene through a doorway she didn't recognise. She must have remembered it though, in the recesses of her mind she must have remembered sleeping so closely next to Quinn. It was new years, she guessed, seeing as she didn't ever remember a sleepover when Quinn wasn't in her pyjamas.

She felt jealousy for the past image of herself, the way she was being held by the other girl. She also felt hatred for herself for not letting herself not remember

She had to tear herself away from that door abruptly, it was both a scene she couldn't remember and believed she would never have again, so it just hurt to see herself dumbly happy.

"_I'm living dead, only alive  
>When I pretend that I have died<br>I haven't lived life, I haven't lived love  
>Just birds eye view from the sky above<br>I'm dead, I'm living dead"_

She quickly stumbled upon another open door, and again it wasn't the usual classroom inside. It was her own room. And she was in the middle of a pillow fight. She smiled as she watched, she looked happy, Quinn looked happy. Her stomach then dropped as she remembered what happened next.

She fell and there they were, closer than they intended to be and staring straight into each other's eyes.

"_I lay back in a glittering mist  
>And I think of all the girls I could have kissed<br>I haven't lived life, I haven't lived love  
>Just a bird's eye view from the sky above"<em>

She suddenly noticed things, things she hadn't noticed before, like the way Quinn looked at her. The first time she couldn't think or see or hear beyond anything going on in her own head. But Quinn didn't look scared. And then she swept at Rachel's hair, why didn't she think if that before. And then Quinn raised her head, only a little but she did. Idiot. Her mind whispered to her. Maybe it wouldn't have destroyed everything if she'd just...

She did what she was good at when it came to dealing with emotions, she ran, she ran as fast as she could away from that door and back through the corridors she'd just walked down, all the way back to where she came from, she hoped she could find the door again.

"_I'm living dead, only alive  
>When I pretend that I have died<br>I haven't lived life, I haven't lived love  
>Just birds eye view from the sky above<br>I'm dead, I'm living dead"_

As she turned the corner she found the door laying open for her, waiting for her to come back to the hospital room. When she got inside she slammed the door shut behind her, more scared of what was waiting for her outside that what was already in here. She looked back to the bed only to find many nurses and doctors crowded round in a frenzy.

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><p><strong>The song was 'Living Dead' by Marina and the Diamonds.<strong>

**Weird chapter I know... not so much an outer body experience but a dream was the idea, and I figured Rachel's dreams would be as dramatic as her with the singing and stuff :/**

**Let me know what you think... I think *cringes***


	19. Do you like waffles?

**Thanks for reviewing: recklesslittleliar, Mikado Yuki, Guest, Harley Quinn Davidson, Mary1988, YourInnate, musicwolf89, Kaioo, kutee, piecesofyourheart **(So sorry about your friend)**, nosture259, turnaroundchloe, Rapier11, rqfaberry, Musicfutbolfan6, Guest, NZgleek91 **(for chapter 11, 15 & 18)**, Guest, Gleelover47, Geoff, AlessaAskari, unshahzana, TrustInFaith, supernena25, LoveSKINS94, OutOfNoWhereHereIAm, priscilla20, xxDark Angel Babyxx **(How did you know what I had planned? -_- )**, lemon-rind, AimleZZ, Don't forget to breath and Guest.**

**Also the details of the accident have been driving me mad. To solve it in a realistic way diagrams, stolen stationary and toy cars and trucks have been involved... and then I realised I'd drawn everything in opposite America land because I'm British *sigh* anywho, that's why I'll just avoid references to left and right in any description. And as I've said before my medical knowledge is nil so I wanted something plausible here with the accident. The medical stuff has been researched but I'm probably still in the wrong, this way it just works with everything else.**

**Excuses over. On with the chapter!**

**Posted: 14/8/13**

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><p><span>Do You Like Waffles?<span>

A not very punk like anymore Brunette stood over a stove cooking... something, something intended for someone she cared very dearly for. She found herself opening her mouth to playfully sing a simple question _"Do you like waffles?"_

"_Yeah we like waffles" _was the chimed reply she got from behind her.

She turned away from the stove for a minute and smiled at the little girl sat at the breakfast bar, eating the very food they'd just sung about. The song wasn't over though _"Do you like pancakes?"_

"_Yeah we like pancakes"_ the little brunette sung back, dangerously waving her fork in the air.

"_Do you like French toast?" _Rachel sung back

"_Yeah, I like French toast. Dit doodle dit, can't wait to get a mouthful"_ she finished with shoving another forkful of waffle into her mouth "Waffles!" she exclaimed with her mouthful

Rachel just chuckled, feeling she'd probably just encourage that sort of behaviour anyway "And how are you liking those waffles?" she asked

The little brunette with the hazel eyes shrugged as she continued to stab the food with her fork "There not as good as mommas" she answered with such cute innocence.

"Cheeky" she smirked at her before returning her attention to the stove and the frying pan with the bacon.

"Can I have some more bacon?" she heard the tiny voice ask behind her.

"I'm not sure baby girl, you'll have to ask momma" she playfully denied the child the bacon

"But she's got loads" the girl was maybe 7 or 8, but she could whine like she was much younger, or much older, depending on which parent she was being compared to.

"She might not have enough though" Rachel took the pan off the stove and turned round to where a plate was waiting for her to plate up "remember she has to eat for your little brother or sister"

"Okay" the girl sighed, her shoulders slumped

Rachel bowed her head to talk to the girl "But I'm sure if you ask really nicely she'll let you have a piece or two" she felt warmth when she saw the child smile at her "Do you want to help me take this up?" she asked as she assembled a perfect, craving prepared, breakfast tray, complete with a small red rose in a thin vase just to help brighten the morning

"Yeah" she nodded quickly, knowing that then she'd get a chance to ask her mommy for that bacon...

Rachel's eyes slowly drew open to her hospital room, and her deep thoughts from a few seconds before quickly re-registered to her "Oh great" she croaked "I'm crazy" she quickly analysed. That was one weird and unexpected dream. She couldn't even imagine where she got the idea from

She hated how they made her sleep, slightly sat up, like this, she couldn't even really sleep lying on her back, she had to sleep on her side... preferably next to someone... not necessarily for any very intimate reason, sometimes it was as simple as being held or holding someone while you sleep. It was about having someone there when you were at your most vulnerable. But sleeping like this, it was just because of the things still in one of her arms to monitor as much as they could.

"Another bad dream?" she looked to her right to find her dad, Leroy sitting bedside, like he had done since she had first woken up. She couldn't be sure exactly how long it had been, but they told her she couldn't leave anytime soon, she was still under strict observation due to a few other injuries she'd sustained.

"No a good one..." she started to try and sit up, Leroy was standing and by her side helping her and moving her pillows for her "weird... crazy... but kinda nice" she admitted about her strange dream. It was better than the others she'd woken from in recent days, ones of tiny glimpses of that accident.

"What was it about?" he asked, casually. He turned to the bedside cabinet and poured her some water from the jug into the plastic cup provided.

"Oh I can't tell you" She chuckled. Her throat was still a little sore from the feeding tube that had been sustaining her while she was in her deep sleep.

"Oh _that_ embarrassing, was it?" he smirked at her, teasing her like he always did.

She narrowed her eyes at him, not entirely sure what he meant by embarrassing "I think so"

He just smiled and held the plastic cup of water in front of her face "Here drink" she leant forward as he gently tipped the cup. She wasn't incapable but with the things they had her on at the moment she still felt constantly tired. And Leroy liked to help as much as he could, who was she to deny him any kind of mild joy? "How are you feeling today?" he asked when he took the cup away.

"Still drowsy" she sighed

"You're not as slurred when you speak" he noted, trying to keep his happiness at by, it had been an emotional and stressful two weeks. But for the past four days he hadn't left her side, no matter how many times he was asked to leave.

"I noticed" she chuckled roughly to herself

"They've eased up a little on the pain meds" he told her, simply replaying what Doctor Hanlon had told him earlier that day "They just wanted to be sure you weren't in any discomfort"

"How many days has it been?" she asked. Time had no meaning for her when they kept her sleeping most of the day and through the night, she could have been out of that coma for 2 weeks, she wouldn't know

"4" Leroy told her confidently. He knew by the 3 good night's sleep he'd finally gotten. Even if he was still worried he was feeling a lot less anxious than he had before.

"When do you think I can leave?" She asked hopeful.

"I'm not sure honey" he smiled softly, he sure wanted to take her home soon but he hadn't heard any news on when she could leave "The doctor said because of the rib breakages and the 7 weeks you were... like you were, they just want to be sure you're okay before you leave... they- never mind"

"No tell me" she pushed "I want to know"

"Okay..." he reluctantly conceded. He reached over and took her hand in his, just to simply comfort both of them "they thought you might have some spinal damage"

"Dad" she chuckled then coughed. He reached for the water but she stopped him "I'm fine, its the sore throat, it's nothing. As for the fear of spinal damage you were there when I walked across the room yesterday"

"Yes... you held my arm" he reminded her. It had been wonderful when she walked, that was another fear he no longer had. "I'm just saying that's why they were hesitant at first"

How could he tell her, it might kill her, she was going to blame herself he just knew she would, even though she shouldn't. Leroy couldn't help but feel uneasy whenever he'd been forced to dinner with the Fabrays. It broke his heart to see Quinn look so broken _and_ so guilty.

But deep down did he really blame her, and was it just masked by the pity he felt when he saw her so broken and in the chair like that... no, now that Rachel was awake he only felt so sorry for the blonde girl, sorry and hopeful that things could continue to get better, for both Quinn's and Rachel's sake.

The only problem he had now was how to tell Rachel about Quinn's... 'situation' and figure out how Rachel was going to deal with it and how he was going to help her get through it

"I hope it's soon" she whispered sleepily "I really want to just go home"

She still remembered the joy of when she found out Quinn was okay. She'd slipped in and out of consciousness for 2 days solid because of the drugs they had her on before she could even form a coherent sentence, and even then she was too afraid to ask what had happened to Quinn, and why she had heard nothing about her. She'd hoped nothing bad, she'd hoped the reason she hadn't heard was because she couldn't stay awake long enough to be told. Every time she'd woken up she found a nurse hitting her with more morphine.

But when she'd heard the news she wanted to hear her heart flipped in her chest with excitement. 3 days out of a coma and she wanted to run all the way home, back to her home street, to the house next to her own so she could pull that girl into a hug.

"_How are you feeling?" One of the regular nurses asked as she walked into the room. Rachel was immediately suspicious she was just there to put her to sleep again but she didn't, she was just checking on the girl_

"_Better" she croaked_

"_I'm surprised I haven't seen your little blonde friend lately, she'd normally sit by your bed for hours until we'd have to ask her to leave" The nurse commented as she adjusted the blind in the room to allow a little more light in, but not enough to burn Rachel's eyes_

_The brunette's eyes widened she pulled herself to sit up, desperate to move "Quinn? Quinn was here?" she asked, her voice clearer than a few seconds before where she was forcing it more_

"_Yes, it felt like she stayed by your side for a solid 3 days after she got out of here herself, until her mom made her go home" the friendly staff chuckled as she went to Rachel's side and helped _

"_Quinn's alive" she breathed to herself. She then looked to the nurse "When can I leave?"_

"_Not for a while I'm afraid, the doctors need to monitor your condition" she said reluctantly "Your doctor should be along shortly for your check up" She said lastly before leaving Rachel to her own thoughts_

'_Quinn's okay' she felt warmth wrap round her heart like something hugging it._

"How are you feeling today, Rachel?" Rachel heard the question again, but not from memory this time and it was a different person asking it. She looked up to find Dr Hanlon walking into the room

"Like I could run across the country" she didn't sound nearly as healthy as she felt thanks to the sore throat. The feeding tube she'd had, inserted through her nose to leading to her stomach might have irritated her throat temporarily, that and the lack of consuming water the normal way hadn't helped sooth it.

"Well I don't think we'll be testing that out today" the blonde woman chuckled as she checked Rachel's chart.

"I don't get why I've finally woken up and you keep putting me to sleep" Rachel complained, Leroy silently agreed but said nothing, just smiled to himself at the usual Rachel-ness he was hearing

"We're just ensuring that you heal properly and aren't in too much pain or discomfort" Dr Hanlon reassured her

"I feel good, so when can I go home"

The doctor knew she had no reason to keep Rachel here much longer, she was surprisingly healthy. She thought about it for a moment "...How about this, if you can walk to the end of the corridor and back we can give you a realistic time"

"How realistic?" Rachel narrowed her eyes comically

"If we think you're strong enough, and well enough, you could leave here in a day or two" the Doctor suggested

"Really?" she definitely sat up straighter at that proposition

"Would I lie to you?" The blonde woman playfully amused the father daughter pair in front of her.

"I don't know Dr Hanlon, would you lie to me?" Rachel quizzed back just as playful, all just proving she was feeling much better

"Let's see how far you can walk and we'll talk"

"Okay" she agreed happily "Can you un hook me?" she asked, meaning all the machines they still had her attached to. The Doctor unclipped all the monitors minus the IV which Rachel could walk with her "Thank You" Rachel croaked as she sat up, Leroy hovering by her side ready to hold her if she wanted him too. She just smiled confidently as she got out of the bed. Rachel silently thanked her dad for bringing her some of her underwear, and her robe when he'd been called with the news that she had woken up. She really didn't want a backless hospital gown incident.

Leroy held out her robe for her to slip into, once it was on she rolled her sleeve up to accommodate the IV more comfortably. She then held onto the IV stand and pushed it with her as she started her determined walk

... They let her go home the next day.

...

Leroy went home that night to prepare for Rachel's return and let Raven get excited by saying her name to the dog. Rachel was one of the few words she recognised next to 'dinner', 'treat', and the phrase 'dya wanna go out'. He also wanted to make sure her room was exactly how she left it, which meant changing the sheets from the ones covered in dog hair where Raven had been sleeping.

When he got back to the hospital the next morning Rachel was awake and sat up, impatiently fidgeting. He quickly handed over her clothes and they waited for Dr Hanlon to arrive for one last check up before she could actually be released.

Dr Hanlon recommend she stay home and continue to rest for a few days yet and she shouldn't be driving or the phrase the Doctor used: 'She shouldn't be operating any other heavy machinery' which just got a few chuckles. She'd have a house visit from a doctor in a few days just as a check up, but other than that she was pretty free.

It was no surprise when she finally got through the front door she was attacked by a dog much larger than the one she'd left behind

"Raven, gently" Leroy scolded as Raven whimpered excitedly and jumped up to greet her master

"I'm okay dad" Rachel reassured him with a chuckle and wrapped her arms round the dog in an almost human like hug "Hey girl, I'm so sorry I haven't been here lately" she cooed "You're so big now"

"I, ah, I took loads of photos of her, so you can..." Leroy trailed off

"See what I missed?" she asked, not afraid to say what he was. He just nodded sadly in answer to her question "Thanks dad" she let the dog fall back onto all fours, but the dog still fussed around her, sniffing her, circling her, so happy to see the girl again. Deep down Rachel was amazed she was even remembered. If she'd said that out loud Leroy would have assured her she was very unforgettable.

"That's okay, lets get you settled" he unnecessarily led her to one of the sofas "Can I get you anything?" he asked

"No, I'm good thank you" she smiled back. Raven didn't even wait for permission before climbing up on the sofa and settling next to her friend. "Lets just sit... watch some TV, yeah?" she suggested

He nodded "Yeah, that sounds good" he switched the TV on then sat down the other side of her. He was emotionally exhausted, and now he could finally just enjoy the fact that his daughter was home.

...

2 days later

Ironically Rachel just found herself sleeping most of the day, and Leroy was always there to wait on her hand and foot... it was getting kind of irritating. She was also afraid, it was so tempting to ask him if she could go see Quinn, or if Quinn could visit and why she hadn't already but... she wasn't sure if she wanted Quinn to see her sitting in her home feeling so helpless right now and she wasn't sure how she could convince her dad to let her out of the house... she didn't even know if Judy and Quinn knew she was okay, or maybe it had been so long they didn't care anymore. Maybe Judy was angry with her, Quinn too, for getting them in that accident.

When the phone rang, Rachel was abruptly yanked from her so doubtful thoughts. Leroy had been in the kitchen when it rang, he walked though to retrieve the phone in the living room, Rachel just watched and waited

"Hello" he answered like a normal person... a few seconds later his face dropped "What do you mean..? no that's not what we discussed" he groaned "I can't, you know I can't, I'm here with Rachel, I can't leave her alone" guilt stung Rachel for a moment, Leroy was getting harassed and he couldn't make it go away because he had to look after her "No you are being unfair" he accused the person on the other end of the phone line "We already discussed this, you're quite capable of-" he was cut off but some incoherent mumbling down the phone "No you listen" whoever it was didn't want to listen though, that was evident when Leroy let out the heaviest sigh known to man "Fine" he snapped before disconnecting the call. After a silent moment he looked to Rachel so regretful "Um Honey, you know I wouldn't do this if I was absolutely desperate-"

She just smiled, a real honest smile, she didn't ever want to hold anyone back "Of course, it's fine"

"I'm so, so sorry" he sighed again

"Dad seriously, I'll probably just sleep" she chuckled. Its all she'd been doing for the past couple of days anyway.

"You've got your cell?" he asked as he went to get some shoes. He came back to the sofa perpendicular to the one Rachel sat on and put them on

She leant forward and picked it up off the coffee table and waved it at him "Right here" she said before dropping it back onto the table

"Okay, if you feel the tiniest bit weird, or faint you call me and maybe an ambulance" he instructed her with notes of seriousness and sadness.

"Dad I'll be fine" she chuckled again, but she could understand his caution

"I won't be gone too long, I absolutely promise" he said as he got up again. He went over to her to give her a quick kiss to the fore head and petted Raven on the head

"I know, now go before whoever it is at work has a meltdown"

"Love you" he sighed before he went to get his keys and jacket

"Love you too" Rachel called after him

He stopped to look directly at the dog and poignantly said "Look after her Raven"

"_I will" _Rachel replied playfully in her Raven voice

"You know that's creepy right?" he checked with her

She just shrugged with a smile "I've been told something similar"

He just smiled back as he backed away to the front door. When he finally turned away and opened the door he called back "Be good, if you can't be good, be careful"

"I will" she replied with the same volume. It felt good to be home again, and to be getting back to normal...

And now it was very quiet, just the people talking on the TV, some 'reality' show people having an argument with each other, most likely just for dramatics in front of the camera...

It didn't take long before Rachel got thinking. It was suddenly so quiet, just the dog snoring softly next to her on the sofa.

Rachel checked the time. School was nearly out... glee club wouldn't be for a while though... "Quinn" she immediately got up, she jogged upstairs to find her sneakers. She slipped them on and grabbed her leather jacket, slipping it on as she bounced back down the stairs.

'Wait' her mind told her, Quinn would be home soon then she'd just need to head next door... she couldn't wait though, what if her dad got back before then, he might not let her go.

She grabbed her cell phone and headed towards the front door. She grabbed her door keys too on the way. Before she could actually get there though Raven was following closely, and nudging the back of her knees.

She stopped with a sigh and looked down at the dark and tan German Shepherd "Don't look at me like that Raven, I'll only be gone a little while, dad won't even know" The dog didn't look impressed though, maybe because the last time Rachel left the house she didn't come back for a really long time. She crouched in front of her friend and started petting her "Look, I promise I'll be right back, I'm going to walk anyway, it's not really that far" she kissed Raven on the forehead "See you soon Rae, really" she waved before finally leaving, locking the door behind her.

It took her a little longer to get to school on foot, she guessed it might take a little while to get back to normal, but she wasn't allowed to drive yet, just in case. They couldn't definitely say there was anything wrong with her, the reason for the Coma had been a concussion, and in the rush to stop internal bleeding she had slipped into the deep sleep. All her other injuries like the broken ribs, fractured wrist had healed nicely while she was in the Coma, so they couldn't definitively say anything about her current condition, she was surprisingly healthy.

When she got to the school she walked with a bounce in her step up the front steps and through the doors at the main entrance, she then had to stop herself running and made sure she simply calmly walked to the choir room.

She turned the corner and the door was in her sights, it was also open already. She just padded along the hall trying to stop the stupid grin in her face. She had to stop to calm herself, she wasn't sure if she was being stupid, but she was excited, she was going to see Quinn again, Quinn who was okay.

The first time she woke up after a similar accident she had been quick to ask a question. 'How was Abby?' the answer she got that time was heart wrenching, soul destroying, life would never be the same again. So when she woke up a second time, she was too afraid to ask that question, too afraid, and torn on what to say. She had wanted to know but at the same time she hadn't. It had all been down to that nurse telling her Quinn had been out of the hospital much longer than her.

Suddenly Rachel's ears honed in on laughter, specifically Quinn's laughter. Her heart clenched in her chest, it was real, it was really real, her best friend was okay and inside the room she was leaning outside. She took a deep breath then finally pushed herself off the wall and turned into the door way, ready to return and feel like she belonged somewhere again, when her world came crashing down.

"So, are you going to see Rachel today?" Santana asked from her seat next to Quinn in her chair on the front row.

"Yeah my mom's picking me up after this and we're going straight there and..." she trailed off when her eye caught the figure in the door way "Rachel?" she had to blink to make sure she wasn't seeing things. The room around her slowly grew silent as everyone looked to the door too, to find a wide eyed, scruffy, brunette, with her signature pink streak in her hair and leather jacket. Quinn just felt herself moving from pure shock to beaming happiness, she felt herself smile so widely it hurt.

Rachel didn't look so happy though, she'd used all her happiness up, every good thought was extinguished by what she saw in front of her "I'm gonna be sick" she muttered before she ran.

"Rachel!" Quinn ignored everyone else and their confusion, too occupied with her own as she wheeled herself out of the door, just in time to see Rachel rush into the girls bathroom on the same corridor. When she finally caught up and battled her way into the bathroom she heard retching "Rachel?"

She just heard more coughing and some spluttering, she grimaced at the noise and just hoped to not smell anything or she might be spewing too.

"Please Quinn" she heard a shaky rough voice "Please, please, please tell me that's not real, please" the blonde saw movement in one of the stalls. Two feet, two legs. Rachel was sitting on the floor "Please"

"Rachel" she said softly

"I'm so sorry" she heard Rachel cough.

Quinn creased her brow in confusion, Rachel couldn't possibly... "No, no you've got nothing to be sorry for" she quickly told her "Rach, come out of there"

"I can't" she sniffed, telling Quinn she was crying too "I really can't... I'm so sorry Quinn"

"For what?" she didn't get an immediate reply, just more snivelling "Please come out of there" there was a long silence "Please" Quinn whispered her plea. She finally heard shuffling on the other side of the stall door, then the toilet flush before the door that was never locked opened fully. There was another few seconds before Rachel weakly stepped out of the cubicle "You're here" Quinn smiled as she took in the image again of Rachel stood in front of her, awake, alive.

"You're in a wheel chair" Rachel's voice broke "I knew I'd hurt you, I just didn't think it would be like this" she walked, heavy footed over to the sink so she could wash her mouth out, the non-drinkable tap water was still better than the taste she had in her mouth, not just vomit but the bitter taste of guilt too.

"Rach, you didn't do this" she wheeled a little closer but stopped when she saw Rachel tense up "_I'm_ so sorry Rachel"

"How can you even look at me?" Rachel just stared into her own eyes through the mirror, too afraid to look anywhere else in case she caught a glimpse of the other girl "How can you even want to talk to me?"

"I should be asking you that Rach. For god sake I put you in a Coma" she yelped back

She accidentally looked at Quinn, it hurt but she had to. With wide eyes she asked "Why are you blaming yourself?"

Really? Did Rachel really just ask her that? She looked up at her astounded "Because it was _my_ fault. I was driving Rachel. And I was on my phone, distracted. I was so stupid, so careless" so very stupid for being so careless with someone she cared very much about.

Rachel back tracked the problem though, to before the part where they were even in the car "W-we wouldn't have been in the car if I hadn't asked to leave-"

"That doesn't mean anything, I was still driving, I was still on my phone" Quinn said most adamantly.

"But-"

She quickly stopped the brunette "No Rachel, there's no 'but' about it"

"Look at you" Rachel said sadly, she closed her eyes squeezing more tears from them. She then wiped furiously at her face, scolding herself for being so stupid and weak and at the same time just wanting to break down even more

"Look at you" Quinn just smiled, the relief and happiness still washing over her... now if Rachel could just smile she'd feel complete.

"How can you be so..." Rachel trailed off guiltily as she just looked to the chair. She could even escape Quinn was blocking the doorway; she had to just stand here and face it.

"Honestly? I think I've just been so distracted by you and your condition in the hospital, I haven't had enough time to think about mine" she admitted with a half smile "Can we go somewhere else, a class room or something, its better than talking in here... a bathroom"

"Yeah" Rachel muttered. Quinn was alive, that was the important thing "Okay, let me get the door for you" she muttered as she cautiously stepped round the girl in the wheel chair and left the room, holding the door open behind her

.

They sat in a nearby class room. Rachel just chose a seat on the front row, her hands in her lap, and Quinn pulled up so she sat opposite her, the desk between them.

"So..." Rachel broke the silence, finding a really good place on the desk in between them to look at "How... are you?"

"Rach..." What was she supposed to say, this was not how it had happened in her deepest hopes and dreams. She was supposed to show up at the hospital and hold Rachel's hand and she'd wake up like a fairy tale and everything would by happy... happy "I-I'm just so happy you're here" she breathed with relief "but how are you here, when did you- I-I mean the coma-"

"About a week ago" Rachel nodded. She put her joined hands on the table to try and put a barrier between them "They let me out two days ago..." should she really add that she was supposed to be on house rest for a few more days, or would Quinn just get upset with her. "H-how bad is it?" she muttered, she had to know the damage "Like the chair, is it... permanent?"

"Oh, no... no I mean the doctors, my physio therapist are all positive I can recover... and I'm pretty determined too" even more determined too now that she had someone to stand by. Rachel just nodded, taking it all in. Quinn swallowed thickly "I was so worried I'd hear from your dad that the worst had happened"

"Oh... that's not how I'm going to die" Rachel met her eyes finding that usual mischief "I plan on leaving this world the way I came into it; naked, crying, and torn away from the woman I love" same old Rachel, making everything a joke.

Quinn chuckled just a little at the dark statement "I'm so sorry Rach" Quinn started again, because she was and she still couldn't say it enough.

Rachel furrowed her brow "Why? It's all my fault" she went back to that point, she couldn't dismiss that thought it had been with her for a week now it couldn't just be brushed off.

"How can you think that!?" Quinn exclaimed, completely changing the tone of the room and reminding them both of the normal times when they'd argue "I was driving, I was texting. I nearly killed you Rach" she wondered how many times she'd have to repeat that.

Rachel shook her head, disagreeing "You wouldn't have been texting if I'd had my phone. You said Santana was texting you because she couldn't reach me and if I'd had my phone-"

"Rachel, stop..." she swallowed guiltily "just stop okay, she wasn't texting meyou, or to you. I didn't want to say but she was texting me about... about some things that I couldn't tell you about, but it was to me. Please, please don't think you were responsible it was all me"

Rachel tilted her head like a curious dog "She was texting you for you?"

"Yes" Quinn whispered guiltily

Rachel seemed to think for a moment, finding something else "...I moved the steering wheel though, who knows what would have happened-"

Quinn reached out and grabbed Rachel's hands on the table top, one hand in each of her own "No, don't think that. Who knows how bad things would have ended up if you hadn't?"

"We wouldn't have even been in the car if I hadn't wanted to leave early" Rachel argued right back. Her eyes fell down to the hands enveloping her own... the contact was nice... more than nice.

"And we wouldn't have been in the car if I hadn't gone with you" Quinn wasn't sure if she was as happy as she first thought that Rachel didn't seem to have any memory loss. She was the same girl as before, but... smaller somehow "Rachel, I drove, I was using my phone. It's my fault not yours" its all she could do, repeat herself over and over until her words stuck "I don't get why you're always quick to blame yourself" she said weaker than before "Or think you're at fault" she brushed a thumb over Rachel's knuckles "or think you're no good... or you'll screw things up... Why do you always think so negative about yourself-"

"It's all happened before" she interrupted the blonde abruptly. It was just one event, one horrible event, the biggest thing to ever happen to Rachel so far, and it explained so much... and Quinn was here, and Rachel was fragile "It happened before" she repeated softer.

"What has?" Quinn gently encouraged as she still held onto Rachel's hands.

Rachel didn't move at first, she just watched as Quinn's thumb continued to brush her knuckles, it was comforting. She opened her mouth to say something but had to stop a second. This was it... "I was in a car accident before... with my sister" she admitted quietly, but in the empty room Quinn still heard quite clearly "I could have lost you like I lost her" she whimpered

Quinn furrowed her brow and leant closer, trying to meet Rachel's eyes "I don't understand"

"You're gonna hate me if I tell you" Rachel tried to withdraw her hands but Quinn held on tighter, wanting to maintain that simple contact

"I could never hate you" She told Rachel with heartfelt honesty

"Don't lie" Rachel scoffed weakly. She had to free one hand to wipe under her eyes before the tears could roll down her cheeks again

It finally started hurting Quinn to see Rachel so broken, the relief of seeing her awake and well had died away, and the word 'well' to describe Rachel was becoming questioning. "I'm not, I can't hate you Rach, you're the best thing in my life" she told her the truth "just tell me, please" was this the thing Rachel had been hiding along, Quinn hoped so, she didn't want Rachel to have so many secrets that were eating at her insides, merely for the brunettes sake.

She looked distant, beyond Quinn as she thought about it "I-I was so spoilt. She said I couldn't go to the party, she said some guy in her year had his eye on me, probably just a bet going and she didn't want me at the same party as him in case he flirted and stuff..." she bowed her head again "She was worried I would fall for him. I should have told her I was gay. That's not the point" she muttered "She didn't want me there so she drove me home and we got hit... her side got hit. But it wasn't like ours, that SUV went straight into her side of the car, and we were shoved, not like us, where we spun off the front of that truck... and then hit that parked car" Rachel seemed to flinch at the recent memory. Quinn went to reassure her she was okay when she continued "That first time I was okay... just a few scratches but she didn't make it. They got her to the hospital and a few days later... there were complications and she- she just didn't make it" she breathed the last words out and concentrated so hard on holding all her tears back, she'd spent nights already crying herself to sleep about this.

"Your sister?" Quinn asked, trying to understand the whole story

Rachel nodded and swallowed loudly "Her name was Abby, she was older than me, but adopted after I was born"

"Right" Quinn just nodded and watched as Rachel's face screwed up

"But I killed her" It wasn't a question but the way she looked at Quinn it felt like she was asking for her opinion

"No you didn't" she told the brunette without hesitation

"Hiram said I did" Rachel whimpered as a few ears escaped. She reached up again quickly with her one free hand to wipe at them.

"Well he's an asshole!" she snapped. Everything was starting to become a little clearer now, the family split, Rachel's determination to put herself down "You didn't do anything wrong this time or that time"

"It's my selfishness both times that put people in cars at certain times" she explained. That's how she saw it.

"But it wasn't you driving" Quinn stressed

"I'm cursed. I knew I'd get you hurt I just didn't think it would be like this" Rachel's voice was just so weak and still a little rough.

"Don't be ridiculous Rachel, you're not cursed" she really wanted to just hug the "This was my fault" Rachel tried to interrupt yet again "No, it was so don't even say it wasn't"

"But Quinn-"

"No Rachel" she wasn't listening! "You're alive, so am I, isn't that all that matters"

"Yes..." Rachel half happily accepted that they were both here breathing "but you're-"

"Alive" she said the one word strongly. She squeezed the one hand of Rachel's she still held "And we'll get through all this, together, or not together, we just will"

"Together?" no she didn't think Quinn meant it any particular way, she knew Quinn meant it as simple support, being there for one another. Right now her romantic feelings for the girl were just replaced with guilt for being selfish, for having any type of emotion other than guilt anyway.

"You're strong Rachel, but I'm here when and if you ever need me, I'm happy to be here for you" she smiled

"You're amazing" Rachel breathed in awe of the girl opposite her

Quinn ducked her head to hide a tint of a blush "No I'm not" she breathed shakily, as if laughing off the compliment.

"Yeah you are" Rachel told her more adamantly "I'm gonna be here for you too Quinn, as much as you need me, day or night, whenever just ask and I'm gonna be here for you" she reassured her, anything for Quinn.

"You better be" Quinn smiled "The past two months without you have been hell" she told her honestly, that smile still on her lips but sadness in her eyes "... can I have a hug?" her voice trembled at little.

Rachel managed to smile at the innocent and weakly asked question "Yeah" she got up of her seat and reluctantly let go of Quinn's hand so she could step round the desk and reach down so she could hug the blonde tightly. Quinn slipped her arms round Rachel too and made sure to pull her as close as comfortable so she could just feel the full contact, and check she wasn't dreaming, Rachel really was here. She breathed in deep savouring everything... even if she was being a little creepy

"You should smile more" Quinn muttered against her ear "You've got a great smile, I'd like to see it more" when she pulled away she found Rachel smiling, not forcefully, it was simply because of what Quinn said

"I should get out of here, I only came to see you" she shyly admitted "I'm actually supposed to be on house rest"

"Rachel!" Quinn playfully scolded. She couldn't be disappointed because she was so glad Rachel had wanted to see her so bad.

Rachel's expression then dropped again "I shouldn't have come back to school. If I'd known you were like this I would have run, so I can never hurt you again"

Quinn's eyes widened in worry "Don't you dare, I need you Rachel, I sat by your bed so long, thinking about how much I need you in my life so don't you dare go disappearing on me now"

"You need me?" Rachel let a smile slip onto her face again

"God sake Rach" Quinn breathed holding back tears of her own as she looked up at the brunette with the growing out Pink streak in her hair. "We're so close, you mean so much to me, I can't deal with anything with you not here. You've supported me all this time, I still need you"

"I need you too" Rachel confessed "but not if I'm going to hurt you" she suddenly worried hanging round wouldn't help Quinn at all but send her into depression because Rachel wasn't in a wheel chair. It was standing here in front of Quinn that reminded her of that.

"You've never hurt me, so don't start now" Quinn told her defiantly.

After a few more tears and promises to be there for one another they decided to head back to the choir room. Rachel even pushed Quinn's chair for her, after asking permission and feeling awkward for doing do, worried Quinn would reject the help. She was happy for Rachel to help though.

They didn't make it to the choir room however. As soon as Rachel turned onto the corridor the choir room was located on she froze to the spot "Rach?" Quinn looked back over her shoulder to see what was wrong, she then followed the brunettes gaze back down the hallway. Leroy was standing there, relief written all over his face and two small children standing either side of him.

"Oh my god" she breathed.

...

Leroy drove Rachel, Becca and Adam home, Quinn already had her own travel arrangements and she wanted to stay to talk to the glee club so she could catch them up on Rachel's situation... which was that she was awake and would be returning to school hopefully soon, they didn't need the rest of the personal details.

Leroy had collected Adam and Becca from the airport because Hiram, who'd flown to Ohio with them, refused to drive them to Rachel and Leroy's house as he still didn't want contact with the daughter he had blamed.

The responsible father... or at least the father who was _trying_ to be responsible, didn't say a negative word to Rachel in front of her united siblings, he'd just wait until they had a moment alone so they could speak, and judging by the looks Rachel was giving him she wanted a word with him too.

He had all three of his remaining children in sight as he watched them cuddle up on the sofa in front of the TV, a large dog curled up at Rachel's feet, Leroy felt more complete than he imagined he ever would again... shame they could only stay a few days but it was an opening, an opportunity. If Hiram had caved just this little bit it would be easier to negotiate more visits... and now it was just a shame that this had only happened because of Rachel had found herself in another horrific accident.

Because of their travels it didn't take long before Becca and Adman had fallen asleep against Rachel. The oldest checked they really were snoozing before she carefully peeled away from them and stepped over the snoring dog on the floor. She looked poignantly at her dad before walking away through to the kitchen. After checking on his other two children personally he followed his eldest.

He watched the kitchen door swing shut behind him before he turned to Rachel who was just leaning on the counter waiting for what she already knew was coming and prepared to ask a few questions her self

"What did you think you were doing? Leaving like that, I was worried sick!" he exclaimed but in hush tones, the last thing he wanted was for Adam or Becca to have to hear more arguments

"I know, I'm sorry, I just had to see Quinn" she was sorry but she didn't sound regretful in anyway, and he could understand, he didn't expect her to stay away much longer. He'd just hoped when Rachel saw Quinn again she'd be prepared and he'd be there and Judy, to help in any capacity they could.

"We should have talked about this first" He said guiltily

"Damn right we should have talked about it" Rachel wasn't one to snap at him, he stood by her, he was her entire family at one point, but this, it hurt too much "Why didn't you tell me about Quinn?"

"I wasn't sure how I could really Rach. It's not like it would have come up in conversation" he explained, defended his choice to not tell. And he only didn't tell because how could you tell someone in Rachel's position someone like that

"Sure it could. You just say 'Oh by the way you crippled Quinn'" she said in a poor impression of her father.

"But you didn't it was an accident!" he raised his voice to force his point, then regretted it, he didn't want to argue with Rachel either.

"Whatever" she mumbled dismissively as she folded her arms across her chest "You should have told me" she said again, slightly calmer than before

"I would have told you before you saw her!" he hoped it could have found the courage anyway "... Rachel I want you to see someone" now he was sure she actually would put up a fight, but given the situation and her previous experience he felt it was the right thing to do, before she dug herself deeper.

"Who?" she furrowed her brow, not liking the guilty look still all over his face.

He let out a tiny calming breath, preparing himself for his daughter's reaction after he said his next word "A therapist"

"You want me to see a nut doctor" she yelped, so he thought she was crazy too

"Not exactly" Leroy defended right back

"You think I'm crazy?" she squeaked. Why now? She hadn't needed anyone before. But that was the point, maybe it would have been good for her to see someone before, rather than let her cope in her own way. Leroy feared he'd destroyed another of his children.

"No. I'd just like you to talk to someone" he explained calmly

"I could talk to you" she tried to bargain, she could talk all her frustrations out on him, right?

"But we don't always talk, and I can't help you like they can" he pointed out

"I don' need help" she pouted rather stubbornly like a child.

Leroy adopted a far more serious and strong tone "You were in a Coma Rach, and things have been hard. I just want to check that everything's okay" he explained "It's just a therapist Rachel, not a psychiatrist. Just someone to listen and analyse and advise" maybe that would soften the blow.

She looked at him suspiciously for a second. He was one to plan ahead as much as he could "You already got someone didn't you?" he suddenly avoided eye contact so she stepped sideways back into it "Didn't you?" she asked him again

He nodded with a sigh "Her name is Dr Lewis, she'll be here tomorrow afternoon" he said half apologetically "I requested the house visit as you're supposed to be on house rest"

"House arrest is more like it" she mumbled again

"Would you rather go back to the hospital?" he threatened, though he wouldn't be taking her back if he could help it

"... No" she grumbled again, acting like a 5 year old who'd had their favourite toy taken away

He wandered over to her and leant against the counter next to her, standing like she did, before he nudged her playfully "That's what I thought" he said softly.

She sighed before she gave in. He cared. That's what mattered. He cared a lot. That made her smile as she cuddled into his side and didn't say a word. _If_ the therapist worked out then _maybe_ she could thank him then... _maybe_.

...

The following day and Rachel had been enduring an interesting day away from school. She definitely wasn't bored of her brother and sister, definitely not. They were keeping her active, getting her to use all her muscles that had been sleeping so long, it was quite refreshing really, and she really didn't mind.

They'd been catching up on everything Rachel had missed in the time they'd been separated. And the two younger siblings were also infatuated with Raven, who was maybe a little rough when over excited but otherwise playful and perfect with them. Leroy was also able to get some work done from home, even with his families situation there was only so much leniency they could offer so Rachel forced him to shut himself in his study and work as much as he could from home. She pointed out if they needed him they would come get him.

The siblings were in the living room, keeping Raven busy when Rachel saw a minivan pull up outside Quinn's house. She curiously watched as a tall man got out of the driver's seat then went round the side to open up the sliding door and lower the platform elevator for the vehicle. She checked the time and realised that meant Quinn was home.

She quickly got up and grabbed her jacket as she slipped her sneakers on.

"Rachie, where you going?" Her little sister asked

"I'll be back in a minute" she quickly assured the little brunette.

"You were gonna make us waffles" Adam whined. Rachel had made that promise around lunch time and then they got carried away, maybe an early dinner wouldn't be a bad thing.

"I'll just be out front for a few seconds, play with Raven and stay here" she instructed both of them. Leroy might kill her if he found out she was leaving them for a second, but there was an adult still in the house and they weren't that young, Rachel told herself this

"Okay" they both pouted

"I promise I'll be like 2 minutes" she waved as she walked out the door.

Rebecca pouted and called after her older sister "I'm counting!"

Rachel chuckled to herself at her sisters threat as she jogged across the front yard. She met Quinn just as she was getting off of the vehicle wheelchair lift.

"Hey" she breathed, completely ignoring the tall man in the clean white nurse type outfit standing on the side walk and focusing all her attention on the blonde girl

"Hey" Quinn didn't even realise it was Rachel until she spoke. She just smiled up at the girl happy to see her "shouldn't you be resting?" she asked suspiciously

She started nervously fiddling with her own hands "My siblings have been keeping me busy" she gestured back to the house with a nod of her hand.

"Oh yeah, how are they?" Quinn smiled again as she remembered the happy reunion she had witnessed in the corridor the day before. The way Rachel had been frozen until they saw her and recognised her. Then there was that cliché running to one another between the three siblings and the clinging and the tears and the rushing of words that were incoherent to anyone except a person involved in the commotion.

"They're good. It's so nice having them here" Rachel nodded. The way the tall man just silently stood next to Quinn was starting to get intimidating. She briefly glanced at him, he just smiled warmly.

Quinn took that as a cue "Oh Rach, this is Tim, he gets me to and from school" she introduced, and it seemed there was no need for her to introduce Rachel

"Oh, hi" She said with forced politeness, he was in the way right now that was all

"Hi" he simply said back, with no personality in his voice. He then looked back to the girl he was supposed to be helping "Quinn, are you ready to go in?" Rachel had noticed the day before that there was a wooden ramp, a simple attachment to the porch steps for Quinn's convenience.

"Actually I was wondering if you'd like to come round to mine. I'd like you to meet my brother and sister" Rachel suggested hopeful before Quinn could be taken away and put in her house, to sit and wait, until her mother got home.

"Um... the steps" Quinn muttered regretfully

"I could open the side gate, you could come through the back door" She suggested. Just one door lip to negotiate that way and she was sure this tall muscular man, Tim, could handle it "I've been coerced into making waffles... if that helps you make your decision"

"I'd like to meet your siblings" Quinn confessed "... and who could say no to waffles" she shrugged playfully

"Well you might find out I'm a bad cook" Rachel admitted, suddenly feeling the pressure.

"I'm sure you're not that bad" If Quinn searched her memory she was sure Rachel had helped prepare and cook many of the meals she and her mom had eaten at the Berry's home.

It didn't take long for Quinn to enter the house through the kitchen door.

"Are you going to be okay here Quinn?" Tim asked, checking it was okay to leave, he had technically done what he was hired for and had other clients to attend to so would need to leave anyway but he was responsible and wanted to check first

"Yea, Tim, you can go" she assured him "I'll be okay to go to mine later"

"I can help you" Rachel volunteered without any hesitance.

"Yeah, Rachel can help me. And my mom will be back probably by then, we've got this" she added

"Okay, see you tomorrow morning" he half waved before heading out of the house the way they came in.

"Bye" Quinn called after him. Rachel then slid the glass door shut and let her small victory soak in.

"So... Tim" she commented lightly and loosely as she wandered further into the kitchen, going to the kitchen table to pull one chair out of the way so Quinn could sit there when they were all settled to eat.

"Yeah" Quinn said slowly, almost questioningly as she watched Rachel with a suspicious smile on her lips.

"Tim..." Rachel looked back at her with a little smirk of her own "Tim, nice but dim" she sighed

"He's not that bad" Quinn half heartedly defended

Rachel just scoffed as she headed back across the kitchen to start fulfilling one promise to her siblings that she'd also promised Quinn, there would be waffles. She used a robotic voice for Quinn's entertainment "But he's so boring, there's no personality there"

"But he's so nice to look at" Quinn sighed dreamily, mostly just to see Rachel's reaction

She saw from the side of Rachel's face, the girl roll her eyes and then shrug "If you're into that sort of thing"

The voices in the kitchen had drawn the attention of the two kids in the house. And with their capable sister in the kitchen that meant they were one step closer to getting those waffles.

"Cool chair, can I have a go?" a young boys voice interrupted any staring Quinn was doing at the girl she more than admired

"Adam!" Rachel yelped wide eyed at the boy who'd just come into the kitchen

"No it's fine" Quinn actually chuckled, finding it a little funny and also realising she could have been caught staring at Rachel, she was just lucky it wasn't Leroy who walked in "maybe later, yeah?"

"Okay" he nodded then pulled a face at Rachel that was mirrored. Quinn just smiled, this was even less awkward than when they were around Beth

"Go get your sister, I'm about to get started on the damn waffles" Rachel told him, not really disappointed just embarrassed

The little brunette boy gasped "You said a bad word, I'm telling daddy"

"Oh yeah like dad's gonna believe you" she scoffed back, bluffing the entire time

"Rach" Adam suddenly asked softly

"Yeah Adam" she stopped what she was doing and looked at him worried

"I missed you a lot" he muttered shyly in a way that Quinn reminded her of Rachel.

Rachel's expression relieved to a soft one "Missed you too little buddy"

"Hey! I'm not that little" he protested, snapping the soft moment

"Go get your sister" Rachel pointed to the kitchen door. He sighed but gave in and strolled out of the room. Rachel then looked to Quinn "I'm so sorry for what he said"

"It's fine, really" she assured the other girl. Besides with that scene that had just played out in front of her she'd nearly completely forgotten what had been said.

"He just likes to speak his mind" she tried to explain

Quinn just smirked "Like someone else I know"

"Oh please I haven't told you everything that goes on in my head"

Quinn was pretty sure she knew more than Rachel knew she knew all thanks to that drunken night. She raised her signature eyebrow "You sure"

"Yes" Rachel nodded adamantly. She'd let it bother her later "Now let's fix these waffles"

After short introductions between Rebecca and Adam, and Quinn Rachel fixed their extra late lunch then they all sat together at the table. Rebecca had grabbed the seat opposite Quinn. After a while Quinn noticed that the little girl had stopped eating and was watching the blonde teen with a Rachel like furrowed brow. With the similarities you'd think they were even more related than they were but, they obviously picked up habits just by being around one another all the time

"Are you Rachel's girlfriend?" the question caused someone to drop a fork onto their plate causing an unattractive clattering noise.

Quinn managed to put her fork down like a normal person, like Rachel had failed to do before she calmly yet shyly answered "Um, no" not that she didn't hope something like that could happen at some point in the future.

"Oh" Rebecca let her legs swing freely beneath her chair and poked at her food "daddy said-"

"What did daddy say?" Rachel asked in a stern tone. She didn't need to scare Quinn off

Rebecca wasn't deterred by her sisters glare, used to that kind of thing, it just meant fun and games to the youngest girl "That you really like a girl. He said the girl is blonde and very pretty, Quinn's very pretty. So is it Quinn you like loads?"

"Quinn's my best friend" Rachel tried to calmly explain

"So who is your girlfriend?" Rebecca asked, getting very confused. She was so sure by the description Leroy had given on his last visit that it had to be the pretty girl sat opposite her.

"I don't have a girlfriend" Rachel shook her head

"But daddy said-"

"Just eat your waffles" she grumbled and glared, then muttered to Quinn "Sorry... again"

"It's okay, really" Quinn chuckled. Being called Rachel's girlfriend was far from an insult

"I'm finished, can we go play now" Adam asked impatiently

"You guys go play with Raven for a bit, I wanna talk with Quinn"

"Will you and Quinn come play after?" Rebecca asked with big shiny hopeful eyes.

"Maybe" Rachel replied but then Quinn answered too

"Yeah we will" the two youngest left, satisfied with that answer, leaving the older ones to clear away

"You're a good cook" Quinn complimented as she cleared the plates away

"Anyone can coo" Rachel commented lightly, while Quinn rolled her eyes at Rachel always putting herself down "So... how's physio been going?"

"Good... yeah really good, really. I- um this guy Joe, he goes to McKinley, he's been helping me" she passed the plates to Rachel and let the girl load them into the dishwasher

She paused halfway through her task and looked back up at the blonde, her face completely screwed up in confusion "Who the hell is Joe?"

"You know, Joe. He kinda stands out, with his dreads and sandals-"

Rachel remembered clearly, how could she forget, but Quinn wasn't there when it happened so she couldn't be mad, only... disappointed in herself for what she had to say "Dreads... TJ? Quinn that, that was the guy who..."

"Who what?" Quinn pushed. She wheeled herself closer to the girl so she could hear better if she started mumbling, which looked like a very likely possibility with how she was looking and acting right now.

Rachel sighed before looking back at her friend, she pulled a slightly reluctant face "He's the one who made a big deal out of Santana and Brittany"

Quinn furrowed her brow for a moment. But the moment it clicked was clear as day on her face "The reason you wanted to go home?"

"Yeah" Rachel nodded sadly

"Oh god" The blonde suddenly felt a little sick "Well I'm not talking to him anymore" she nervously chuckled, hoping Rachel could forgive her

"Quinn, you can't just-" Rachel was going to advise her against 'breaking up' with him, just because he'd been there for her, but Quinn wasn't an idiot, how could she remain his friend after everything

"The hell I can!" Quinn told her "He upset you Rachel... it didn't click until just now but, how could I be friends with him after what he said to you and them... besides if he hadn't said those things-"

"I wouldn't have wanted to go home and we wouldn't have been in that car" Rachel finished the sentence, they were both thinking it. she finished loading the dishwasher then closed it

"Kinda" Quinn mumbled. Its not like they wanted to find someone to blame, well at least Quinn didn't she was still adamant on taking full responsibility, but Joe had been a factor and more importantly he'd upset Rachel, and no matter what good he'd done she couldn't be friends with him. And the more she thought about it, the more she thought he probably just helped her to help save his own soul on whatever holy quest he was trying to get though in life.

"So it's my fault" Rachel concluded

"No!" Quinn yelped "Stop saying that, you are the last person to blame" She wheeled even closer and grabbed Rachel's hand. it had worked the first time to get Rachel to listen, and the simple contact felt good. Especially to Quinn after spending days in the hospital holding the same hand but it being unresponsive "It was me, all me... you tried- no you did, you saved me" uh-oh the tears were back

"You're in a w-wheelchair" Rachel stuttered, her eyes growing watery again too

"But I'm here sitting with you" she emphasised "I couldn't ask for more after what I did to us"

"Quinn" Rachel looked down at her shocked, shocked that she admitted she'd be willing to make some sort of sacrifice.

"No, it's true. Even if I had no hope, just knowing you're here is enough" she admitted again. How she wished she could say more but now wasn't the time, Rachel was an emotional wreck and she knew she was becoming one too.

"But you have hope, your physio is going well?" Rachel asked, wanting to hear again. She let her hand slip from Quinn's so she could wander back to the table, she needed to sit

"Yeah" Quinn nodded as she followed Rachel back to the table and slid in to the space she'd been sitting at before "Of course" but she wanted to hear more about Rachel, she hoped she could help "How have you been feeling?"

"Oh, well, my dad got me a therapist" she looked at Quinn's hand on the table. Holding hands would have been a big step if this accident hadn't happened, holding hands would have meant something more, Rachel believed.

"Really? My mom was thinking about getting one for me but the physio actually helps mentally too, you might not think it but, having someone there and talking about my state, it's all good really" She rambled on, just surprised that Rachel wasn't running for the hills when she was told she was going to see a therapist. She also wanted to let Rachel know that it would be normal in case she backed out of sessions. She only imagined the emotional build up since losing her sister could have been doing some sort of mental damage... she didn't realise part of it was the persona sitting in front of her.

"Are you in pain?" Rachel asked cautiously as she settled her own hand on the table, hoping Quinn would take it again.

"Um... discomfort, that's a better word, but it's not unbearable and normally only when I'm in physio or moving out of the chair and stuff. Besides once I started feeling the pain I realised its a good thing, because I was _feeling_ again" they weren't supposed to be talking about her right now though, they'd focused enough on her, she wanted to hear about Rachel "How's therapy, or maybe I should be asking when is it?"

"I had my first session yesterday"

"And how... was it?" Quinn asked carefully

Rachel shrugged as she drummed her fingers on the table "Okay, it's only been one session so far, my next one is tomorrow... Dr Lewis... she wanted me to talk about the accident. I told her I don't remember any of it... but that's a lie"

"You remember?" Quinn's voice wavered

"... It was the first thing I saw when I woke up, just a flash of an image... just of a moment in that car" she closed her eyes and Quinn thought she saw a tremble so she grabbed Rachel's waiting hand, wanting that simple contact too. Rachel chuckled lightly "A nurse was there when I woke up, she thought I was having a fit, but I was having a panic attack because I came to and the memory of the crash was still on the edge of my mind and... Anyway they had to sedate me so I didn't hurt myself and when I woke up again must have been just a few hours later, there was this guy sitting next to my bed. I looked right at him and started crying... I told him I wanted my dad. It was Leroy... and of course he thought I meant Hiram, but I meant him my dad, my real dad Leroy. I just- my head, it couldn't register right away that he was there, and that he _was_ my dad" she then chuckled again, this time nervously "They were worried I might have amnesia, that happens with coma patients but no it was just that for a few minutes... and I apologised so much and explained... we're good now"

"You and Leroy" Quinn scoffed lightly "I can't even imagine you having an argument" she couldn't imagine much though lately. Like the way Rachel hand was in her own, she wanted to imagine the future but it seemed even further away now with Rachel here and not able to look at her the way she used to

"I don't think we have since... since Abby" Rachel decided after thinking about it "But there's times I think he should get mad at me, I need it"

"You've got me to be grumpy and yell at you" she might have been trying to provoke Rachel to be normal, encourage the teasing

"That's true" Rachel smiled to herself, then it dropped "I wanted to read the incident report. But the insurance company didn't want to release it, my dad said he'd read it though, not that that meant anything he wasn't even there so... " Rachel trailed off when she recognised that Quinn looked unsure

"What report?" the blonde asked

"The report for our-um... our accident. There was a report, it wasn't very detailed, my dad said there weren't many witnesses and... it seemed the truck driver was the main influence" she explained. She wished she'd been able to read it though "The truck driver put himself at fault, said he didn't slow enough when he pulled out of his road to join the one we were on and... the corner was kinda blind so he just didn't see us coming"

"And I wasn't paying attention" Quinn added, almost with an eagerness. She would put her hand up and plead guilty to idiocy every time.

"You'd just put the phone down though" Rachel defended her

"I know, they managed to see who I'd called and texted, things were literally a minute out, otherwise it would be my insurance paying for everything. Not that I really care about that, I just got lucky" she smiled and shrugged. Rachel seemed to unintentionally pout her bottom lip. Quinn remembered times in the hospital when she'd look at Rachel's lips and wonder if she'd ever get to kiss them... and she was beginning to wonder that now

Rachel cleared her throat as she noticed the way Quinn was looking at her, she imagined really Quinn was looking through her, distracted by something, maybe her memories. She continued, thinking about why she wanted to see the incident report in the first place "I just wanted to see the report... because I thought I was remembering things, but I wanted to know if it was the truth or just a nightmare... but the flashes of memory I get... just over the past few days seem to already fill the bigger picture... I'd ask my dad more but, I'm kinda scared" she actually admitted, feeling stupid for being weak. She was fine, she believed, it was Quinn who was worse off, who cared about some nightmares when the other victim is in a wheel chair. "What do you remember?" Rachel surprised even herself by asking that question.

"I um..." with her free hand she tucked a strand of her still short hair behind her ear "I saw the truck out of the corner or my eye... the steering wheel moved, you grabbed-"

"I know, I'm so sorry, I was trying to move you away, move us away, the truck..."the images burst into Rachel's mind, she couldn't help cut Quinn off, it just fell from her mouth like vomit. Quinn just waited, wanting to hear more "But me swerving did nothing, it hit, like the back door then the car ended up flat against the front of the truck and that's when you got hit" she started tapping her foot in an attempt to distract herself and ease the sudden tension in her muscles "I panicked"

"No, no you acted" she pulled herself closer, wanting to hug Rachel but stopping herself just before she got _that_ close "you did something, I shouldn't have been on my phone"

"But if I hadn't swerved the car we might not have spun off the front of that truck" though maybe it was good she did, it meant less time with Quinn stuck against that truck. What if there had been a fuel leak and the car was hooked and they couldn't get Quinn out and- Rachel shut her mind off and attempted speaking again "having no control like that and you, oh god, it was only a glimpse, everything happened so fast, I saw you... it nearly killed me" that image in her head, not knowing whether Quinn was even alive because of the cuts to her face from the shatter glass and the apparent blow to the head when the car was struck... she just knew it might haunt her forever "And... there was another car, we spun into it, I thought the car would flip. The report said it was a parked Mercedes, I just remember a silver car... and my side went into it. I was just relieved it wasn't you again" she finally finished, took a deep breath and bowed her head slightly

"Rach" Quinn asked softly, ducking her own head to meet Rachel's tired eyes "I think you saved me, no actually I'm pretty sure you did... maybe the truck not hitting the car dead on cushioned some of it"

"That's what I hoped" she squeaked "... the car... it was so scary"

"It's okay, we can stop, you don't have to talk anymore" she brought her other hand up to envelope both of Rachel's just like she did the day before. She wished she was stronger, wished she could shield Rachel from the bad things.

Quinn was so brave, that's what Rachel saw in the way she looked at other people, she was brave and strong, and Rachel was left asking herself why she couldn't be for the blonde. She swallowed her nerves and admitted the final details "I-I... we were trapped, you not moving, I tried to say your name but... I could just taste blood. I thought I heard sirens but maybe I didn't" she shook her head, that detail didn't matter "I just hoped, so hard that... you'd be okay"

"I am okay" I Quinn _told_ her.

"But-"

"I'm okay Rachel" she didn't need Rachel tearing herself down any more "And one day, I'll be completely me again" she sighed then gave Rachel's hands another comforting and reassuring squeeze. No matter what happened they could keep doing this couldn't they "I'd love to spend some time with you and your siblings... its more fun than talking about this"

"Yeah, you're right" she managed a more realistic smile "lets go make sure they're not trying to make Raven their pony again" she had to let go of Quinn's hand so she could get up and tuck her chair back under the table

"Besides, we've got all the time we need to revisit that subject if we want" Quinn reminded her, meaning all the positive things she could. The point was they had time now.

"Yeah" Rachel smiled again, for real, feeling some warmth once she read into Quinn's word "Let me get the door for you"

"Thanks"

...

It felt like Rebecca and Adam had been there for a few hours, not a solid weeks. Before they knew it, it was time for them to head back to New York. Leroy let slip that Hiram had been staying in a hotel near the Ohio based airport the entire time.

When it came to take them back to their other father, Leroy decided to play a little game. He called his ex-husband and let him know if he wanted the kids back, he had to come get them, because Leroy would not be leaving Rachel's side while she was still supposed to be on house rest... Hiram quickly caved.

When he knocked on the door Leroy answered. The man Rachel used to call dad, or sometimes daddy barely looked at her as he entered their home. He didn't hold his nose in the air like she expected, rather he looked at his feet.

Leroy excused himself, Adam and Rebecca to collect the kids things before they could leave.

Rachel just watched Hiram hover round the front door while he patiently waited. His eyes flickered to her and he looked as though he was going to say something, his mouth opened and everything, but nothing came out. He just looked back at the floor. Rachel wondered if she should say something, but every scenario in her head ended with an argument and people hurt.

She then realised he was moving, walking straight towards her. She froze and cringed, ready for a verbal or even physical strike but she didn't expect what he did next. He tightly wrapped his arms around her, and muttered in her ear "I'm so glad you're okay"

She would have pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming but her arms where anchored to her sides. Instead she let herself relax, at least for now everything could feel a little better

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><p><strong>... In my mild experience a heavy enough vehicle doesn't need to be travelling that fast to do some heavy damage...<strong>

**I'm also sorry these chapters are getting stupidly long, sorry if its boring :/**

**Any who, let me know what you think... I think... *cringes some more***


	20. Never Ending Question

**Thanks for the reviews: turnaroundchloe, LoveSKINS94, Kaioo, MaryLC, Harley Quinn Davidson, mika-faberryluver4395, iExist62193, dude, NZgleek91, WhatHurtsMeMost, Guest, Liona Vamp, warterproof88, j edgar, kutee, Guest, Musicfutbolfan6, TrustInFaith, Gleelover47, Guest, joy. rolo, xxDark Angel Babyxx, recklesslittleliar, Guest and Guest.**

**Posted: 26/8/13**

* * *

><p><span>Never Ending Questions<span>

Quinn let out a soothing breath as she rounded the corner and found Rachel at her own locker. She wheeled herself over with all the confidence she had and weakly greeted "Hey"

Rachel smiled back at her warmly "Hey" she then furrowed her brow "you okay? You look worried"

"Um, yeah" Quinn just ducked her head momentarily then forced herself to look back up at Rachel "just... can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure" Rachel nodded with some concern before leading Quinn to the nearest class room. She opened the door and held it open while Quinn pushed herself through and into the tranquillity of the class room "So what's up?" Rachel asked as she wandered round

"Um, I wanted to ask you something" she hesitated "I ah..."

"Whatever it is Quinn... just ask me" Rachel encouraged softly

"Um, okay" she took another breath and again forced herself to not be shy and meet Rachel's chocolate eyes "I was wondering if you'd... um... like to go..." why was this so hard "Would you like to go on a date with me?" she rushed out and waited... and then waited "Rachel?" she wasn't moving "Rach... did you hear me?" Quinn then flinched as Rachel stood up abruptly.

Rachel marched the short space between them, Quinn felt her heart quicken pace in her chest as Rachel held her face, one hand on each side cradling her abruptly but tenderly at the same time as she bought her own lips down towards Quinn's, getting closer, and closer until... she woke up

She rolled over in bed, feeling some discomfort as she moved over and picked up her phone off the bedside table. She woke the phone up so she could see the clock. The Numbers 04.07 stared back at her. She sighed to herself, the dream, and disappointment that it was just that, washing over her.

"Get it together Quinn" she muttered to herself "It's too early anyway... need to heal first, you both do" she reminded herself. She put the phone back down and rolled over, and tried to get back to sleep.

.

The car drives round the slight bend steadily, and it isn't until the last minute you see the truck pull out of the road ahead to join the same one you're on. You gasp her name. You reach over, your hand brushing across hers as you reach for the wheel and pull it just slightly, hoping to pull her away from the danger. The truck hits the back door then her door and the car swerves, its thrown from the front of the truck. One of the wheels must be damaged and locked so it can't roll. The car is moving it can't stop, the locked wheel won't stop it, it finds a way to continue forward, so it spins, once maybe twice and then you see a silver car, parked on the road side, but coming at you fast.

It slams into your side, you're jostled violently, you feel glass shower over you and something smacks into the side of your head. The car feels like its tipping but then it rests. Maybe if that silver car hadn't been there the car you're in might have flipped when it hit the curb, but you'll never know.

All you do know is that the girl next to you is out cold, you pray to someone you stopped believing in that she'd not dead. There are flecks of blood on her face, from fresh cuts, most likely from when the truck hit her side. You try to say her name but no words come out, your throat and chest feel heavy.

You hear sirens, or you think you do at least, and that's the last thing you hear, and she is the last thing you see before your eyes drift shut...

Rachel woke violently, not enough to make her sit up straight, but enough for her to flinch and shiver under the covers. Her body was clammy, covered in a cold sweat, and she was shaking, from fearful shivers. She reached out for her phone on her bed side table and checked the time. 04.13 glared back at her on the fluorescent screen.

Rachel wanted comfort, needed comfort right now... she thought about texting Quinn, but that was stupid, she'd be asleep anyway. Rachel just dropped her phone back on the bed side table. She then crawled and leant over the side of the bed "Hey" she whispered as she gently shook the dog laying on the floor "Raven" the heard the dog move "Rae" she said again and the dog slowly stood up "Come on" she patted the bed. The dog happily climbed up and settled, curled up next to her best friend.

Rachel settled down again, feeling Raven breathe beside her was comforting enough... for now. And she was sure she'd find the cute curled up dog stretched out tomorrow morning and taking up most of the bed.

...

"What could it mean?" Leroy asked as he and his daughter moved synchronised round the kitchen, he preparing their packed lunches and she sorting out a last minute breakfast. Raven hung around their feet ready to catch any morsels dropped, she was better than a vacuum cleaner in these situations. Anyway today was Rachel's first day back and he insisted that for once she take lunch with her.

"Dad" Rachel sighed with a slight smile on her face "You've asked me that for the past three days, I don't know what it meant" it had been three days since Adam and Rebecca had gone home. They both missed them already but they hoped they'd see them again soon, especially with how it ended

"He hugged you though, and said he was glad you were okay" she could hear excitement in Leroy's voice. He said he didn't love his husband anymore but the way he was reacting said differently

"Yes and then said absolutely nothing, and left" She reminded him. he'd let go of her as soon as Adam, Rebecca and Leroy came back down stairs and then they'd left quickly after that

"This could mean something though" Leroy sing-songed

"Yeah it really could. Maybe we could..." she shrugged to herself as she looked down at the soggy cereal she had planned on eating "... get back to normal. I mean he won't forgive me just like that, maybe I can earn his forgiveness"

Leroy suddenly stopped everything he was doing "No Rach..." he said softly, realising she'd do anything for his happiness, and despite his momentary excitement he couldn't forgive his ex husband just like that, and he didn't expect Rachel to either "you need to stop a second" just like he had "I don't want you going back to him just like that. And I really don't want you forgiving him just like that, especially not for me"

"Dad..." she turned around to face him "you could all be happy again" her voice broke a little

"Rach" his squeaked too before he pulled her into a tight hug "No that's wrong baby girl, if you want to work towards forgiving him, but there's nothing you need forgiveness for, okay?" he pulled away to see her nod meekly "I want you to do what you want, and at the pace you want too"

"Maybe I could talk to Dr Lewis about this..." she muttered "she gets in my head and figures it all out so I can figure things out" She was actually trying to say thank you for getting her the Dr in the first place, but it was still hard to accept what

"Okay, talk to her, see what you want to do" He told her, feeling he was being a little hypocritical, telling her to be her own leader like she had been before the accident and sounding like he was commanding her.

"Thanks dad" she mumbled again. He just squeezed her arm comfortingly and then went back to making their lunches

"You better get ready, I'll drop you off at school, and I'll pick you up so don't worry about that" he reminded her

"Okay, I'll just grab my bag and jacket" she went to leave

"Oh by the way" he called out making her stop "I'm really proud that you've been putting in the effort these past couple of days to catch up on all your missed school work" he smiled warmly at her

"I still plan on graduating this year" she chuckled before going to gather her things, Raven happily followed her leader best friend out the kitchen.

...

She didn't want to make a fuss, they already knew she was okay and she'd had constant contact with Quinn so it wasn't really a big deal, at least she didn't want to make it a big deal. And that day she returned, she remembered there was a glee club meeting first thing in the morning. She didn't see Quinn beforehand because that guy, Tim, was still driving her to and from School... well it was his job, so Quinn didn't even know she was returning... she just hadn't thought to tell her

So when she got to school, a little late for the meeting, she walked down the empty hallways, that were yet to fill with the rest of the students, that would be there within the next half hour. As she neared the choir room with the open door she heard Mr Schue's usual enthusiastic rambling. A smile tweaked at her lips before she forced it to drop again, she wanted to be calm and cool, not grinning to herself when she got there.

She didn't falter in her step as she walked straight into the choir room, she kept her head high, her eyes honed in on the open chair next to Quinn on the front row. She heard the room fade into total silence, saw all pairs of eyes on her, but like she'd already told herself, she didn't want to make a big deal out of anything, that's not the girl she had become.

Others in the room looked at Quinn who saw their questioning looks, she just shrugged, she hadn't been expecting Rachel here, though she was definitely happy the girl was sitting next to her.

Suddenly there was a slight screeching from a chair being moved as someone got out of their seat. Then there was the light pattering as footsteps before Rachel felt someone engulf her side

"We missed you so much" Brittany squeaked in her ear as she hugged her tight. Rachel tensed at the surprise before she just relaxed and accepted it. Before she knew it Quinn was reaching over and taking her free hand and then one by one _every_ member of the glee club joined in, to smother her in a group hug. Okay, so maybe they really had missed her.

...

It was only a couple of days later when Rachel got some news from her doctor after a basic check up. Unfortunately she didn't find Quinn until break time, not travelling to and from school every day was lessening the time they could spend together. Luckily the news she wanted to share with Quinn might solve that. She finally found the wheel chair bound blonde at break time.

She uncharacteristically walked with a bounce in her step as she approached the girl at her locker

Quinn saw her coming a mile off, with a smile tugging at her lips and that skip in her walk "What's got you in such a good mood?" she asked when the brunette with the growing out pink streak in her hair. She didn't have the tongue piercing at the moment, they'd taken it out when she was in hospital so the metal piece didn't prevent the doctors and medical staff from doing any type of scan on her.

Rachel tried to calm her smile. It wasn't a big deal, just like her returning to school. "I'm allowed to operate heavy machinery again" she told Quinn happily

The blonde just chuckled "So you'll be back on your bulldozer soon?" making trouble, Quinn almost hoped, because that was the girl she knew, the bad girl with a soft inside that she had fallen for.

"You bet, but just for now, I've got my car... wondering if I could take you home" she suddenly felt and looked nervous "Maybe it's too soon, you know me and you in a car again but we need to push past fears-"

"No you're right, we do" Quinn nodded rapidly. It wasn't like she hadn't got back in a car yet, her mom was still taking her places "And I'd love for you to drive me home" she said before reluctantly adding "but I've still got Tim"

Rachel's shoulders dropped too. She mentally scolded herself for forgetting that fact in the first place "Ugh, Tim, Tim nice but dim" she sighed

"You're mean" she chuckled as she tried to put some of her books away. Rachel wasn't sure if Quinn wanted the help but she was sure it was the right thing to do, so she took the books from Quinn and added them to the stack in the locker "Thanks"

"No problem" Rachel shrugged. Then after a paused she had to ask "Why do you stick with Tim? He's so boring" she droned

"My mom hired him, he was the best of the choices, and besides he's so nice to look at" Quinn laughed lightly again

"What about me, aren't I nice to look at" she pouted playfully. Yeah Quinn had missed this, the playful teasing and that damn stupid pout

"You're not bad I guess" Quinn shrugged and ducked her head to hide a smirk

"Oh thanks" Rachel grumbled, but still keeping that jokey tone.

"You're beautiful" Quinn whispered as light as she could and in the murmuring hallways she was sure she wouldn't be heard, but she wanted to know what it felt like to say these the things she deep down wanted too aloud, it just made her tremble unnoticeably.

"What was that?" Rachel asked, she genuinely didn't hear but she thought she saw Quinn's lips move, just a little.

"N-nothing" Quinn dismissed

She let herself casually lean against the locker next to Quinn's "I'm sorry if my driving suggestion is a bad idea" and it quite easily could have been a bad idea after everything that had happened but moving forward was all they could do now "... I just thought maybe... maybe I could do what Tim does for you. He only drives you... and my dad drives me so I thought maybe... I don't know, it just feels like we don't have as much contact because we lose that time now. It was just an idea-"

Quinn nodded even though Rachel was now looking at her feet and probably couldn't see "I'll talk to my mom about Tim" she said, trying to interrupt and failing

"-But then again he does have the right vehicle, although you did say the other day at dinner you could get in and out of your moms car with little help so-"

"Rach!" Quinn said a little louder to get her attention. She didn't mean to startle Rachel just that little bit but at least she had her attention now.

"What?" She asked timidly, not her usual self.

"I said I'll talk to my mom about Tim. But he's still taking me home today" there was nothing she could do about that "I'll let you know what's happening"

"Great" Rachel tried to not beam too brightly "That's great" the bell rung above them "Have we both got Spanish now?" Quinn smiled to herself at the usual Rachel type question, that girl hardly ever remembered her time table.

...

A couple of days later and Tim was gone. It hadn't been the saddest goodbye ever, as Rachel said he didn't really have much personality, but a handsome face now that wasn't so bad. Their first drive together had been quiet; luckily Rachel's driving skills were as... normal as ever. It did feel tense though, being in a car together only in different seats, Quinn felt that helped greatly. She wasn't sure how long it would be until she could drive again, and then on top of that, when she'd feel comfortable to drive again. She felt safe here though, under Rachel's protection in the car that was much bigger than the one she'd had, there was less of a chance of truck drivers missing you in this.

Half way there Quinn couldn't bare the silence any longer, she reached over and switched the CD player on. She shook her head but smiled to herself as she had to turn the volume down to a more comfortable one. She looked over to see Rachel relax back into her chair and smirk just a little

Everything would be normal again in time...

...

Quinn wheeled herself into the busy cafeteria hoping to find Rachel there, they hadn't agreed on a meeting place but usually they met at their lockers. She'd waited there for a little while but she hadn't showed up. Maybe she'd been held back by a teacher, still seeing about catching up on missed lessons or something. That was something she was definitely admired Rachel for that, even if she secretly wanted to see some of the bad girl back too. But she wasn't seeing any o the girl at the moment, Rachel wasn't in the cafeteria.

She was about to leave the cafeteria, to continue her search, when someone called her name

"Oh crap" she grumbled when she saw _him _walking over.

"Hey Quinn" the boy with dreads greeted "We haven't spoken in a while, wondering what's up" he shrugged

She furrowed her brow as she looked up at him, and wondered what he was talking about "I said I didn't want to speak to you anymore" she said dryly and tried to leave but he stepped in front of her blocking the way, right in the doorway to the cafeteria

"What's wrong? We were really good friends and now... now you keep avoiding me"

"Look, I didn't realise some things and then when I did I realised I can't be your friend" she told him firmly "In fact I don't want to be your friend"

"I don't get it, is this about Rachel, I think she has feelings for you" he told her, in a reluctant manner that sounded like he felt sorry for Quinn being in that situation.

Quinn almost went to yell 'well duh' but stopped herself "Actually it is about Rachel. I didn't know until she came back but she said it was you that upset Brittany and Santana on Valentine's day"

"Quinn?" now it was Joes turn to crease his brow "I was only doing what was right"

"No, what you were doing was interfering where it's not wanted. You really upset them and you upset Rachel, who is my best friend" she had to raise her voice a little so he could even hear her

"So we can't be friends because I can't accept your other friends"

"Yes!" she stressed, why couldn't he just back off, she didn't want or need this right now. "I can't be friends with you because of that. And you know what you don't have to accept homosexuality but you could just keep out of everyone else's business"

"I was trying to help" he defended "And they were being inappropriate. You know it's a sin"

She swallowed thickly... no she couldn't let it get to her, her feelings were stronger than that, much stronger than what she felt was threat. Was it a sin to want to be happy?_ She finally spoke _"I don't want to get into this with you, I'm pretty sure my- um, Rachel already said all she needed to say to you"

"But Quinn-" he tried

"No!" she lost it, she just couldn't hold back any longer and she really didn't mean to play this card it was unfair but deep down she could see it, he almost made her lose Rachel "if you hadn't upset her, I wouldn't have been happy to take her home and we wouldn't have been in that car. So just stay away from us, stay away from all my friends" okay so maybe half the cafeteria had heard that. She ducked her head then turned her chair to leave but he stepped in the way again

"So you're blaming me"

"No, just-" Just what? She didn't know, she just didn't want to talk to him or be near him. She felt sick at the thought she'd let him become such a close friend in Rachel's absence. "Just go away Joe, I don't ever want us to speak ever again" she rammed the wheel chair into his leg making him get out of her way. Once she left, the cafeteria resumed its noise levels.

In the corner a certain Latina was concerned, she'd been close enough to hear everything, and she didn't like to see Quinn like this.

"Hey, Britt" she turned to her girlfriend next to her "I'm gonna go check on Quinn, I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Okay" Brittany chirped happily before kissing Santana quickly on the cheek. "I want to stay here and talk to Mike about coming up with some moves for a dance routine for Nationals anyway. Now we have Rachel back we can win, I know we can"

Santana just smiled back at her, she wouldn't admit that she was feeling a little better about things since Rachel was back, and Rachel was turning out to be some sort of friend, they even hung out the other day with Brittany and Puckerman, even if they weren't doing the typical 'hanging out' kinda stuff "Okay, see you later"

She caught up with Quinn not far from the cafeteria "Hey Q, wait up" she called out, just before the blonde could disappear round another corner.

"Santana" She sighed. She then asked hopeful "Have you see Rachel?"

Santana looked a little confused "I thought she went with you to the cafeteria"

"No, I couldn't find her" Quinn shook her head

"But she was standing by you when you..." she saw Quinn's eyes widen as she realised something "what?"

"Shit, she saw me talking to Joe, I told her I wasn't talking to him and I wasn't" Quinn explained quickly "I didn't even see her"

"She'll be okay" Santana assured her.

"I hope so, I need to find her" Quinn sounded a little more desperate now.

"She'll probably need a minute then you'll find her and talk and she'll be all gooey for you again" Santana opened an empty classroom door and gestured for Quinn to go inside. The wheelchair bound girl furrowed her brow but conceded and went inside. Santana followed and shut the door behind then "... So I saw you argue with sandals" although in fairness half the cafeteria probably saw that argument "Joe" she added when Quinn didn't catch onto the nickname

"Oh, yeah... you weren't the only one who saw" Quinn chuckled humourlessly "I can't believe I was friends with him, after everything... I just didn't realise and then when Rachel..." she tried to find the right way to word it "came back and things were said I finally put two and two together"

"It's okay Q, we all make mistakes... well I don't but you know" she waved it off. Santana then thought back to that day, that sandals guy had put a dent in the mood, and then later that night they saw about the crash on the news. Deep down inside, Santana hoped after texting Quinn that the girl had been somewhere making out with Rachel, but it wasn't that "...I don't think I've ever seen Rachel that pissed and upset at the same time, as that day when you guys... I mean that time he started on me and Britt. Berry's normally angry and defensive or protective but that time... I think it really hit her too" she sort of came back from her memories to look back to Quinn who'd just been listening patiently "And I think I get why now"

"Well because she's gay right, why else?" Quinn assumed

"Well yeah" Santana shrugged "and Sandals is all god squad, and she might think you're almost like that too with that cross you wear round your neck. She's scared you'll freak out even more if you find out she's gay for you. It's like a whole nother' thing that means she won't ever get to be with you"

"But..." Quinn bit her lip, and mentally asked for forgiveness before finally looking to Santana again "if I had to turn my back on my religion and that part of my upbringing then I would for her"

Santa's eyebrows rose in surprise "Whoa, Q... that's serious, right?"

"Yeah, well she said some things about religion, and it doesn't mean I change all my views and stuff but... you're my friend, its never bothered me, not one bit. And I knew Rachel was... a uh, lesbian not long after we met and I was still happy to be her friend... well not happy, kinda reluctant but that wasn't because of the whole gay thing. And then that day everything she said it didn't make me back track it made me more determined to be brave for her" she smiled a little, the nerves were still there, they would be for a while until she could finally talk to Rachel about things but it wasn't time... she wasn't sure when it would be the time either.

"What did she say?" Santana asked casually

"Some facts and things, like how can homosexuality be unnatural, and how Jesus had two dad" Quinn chuckled lightly.

"Sounds like the same stuff she shouted at him, she even said some stuff about the bible that was kinda funny" Santana commented lightly

"Yeah she told me too" Quinn added. But she needed to get back to the main point, she argued publicly with Joe in the cafeteria, nearly out right blaming him for her nearly losing her best friend "So today, with Joe, I just told him we couldn't be friends anymore and I didn't want to talk to him"

"Well he's already number 3 on the slushy hit list" Santana shrugged. She was still head cheerleader and dating Brittany or not she managed to hold onto her power "I took care of that... what he said really upset Britt, even if she didn't say anything there"

"Well it upset Rachel and I always think she's so strong... but everyone has their limit" She muttered the last part. Rachel was so reserved lately, it was weird.

"Like you too" Santana smirked breaking Quinn from her continuously drifting thoughts

"What do you mean?" she furrowed her brow

"You can only mention Rachel so many times and think about her so much before you imagine she's already your girlfriend" Santana mocked. She might have heard more than most in the cafeteria thanks to how close she was sitting.

The use of the word 'girlfriend' made Quinn tingle with nervous excitement and anxiety "What makes you think that?"

"I heard a little bit of your 'discussion' with TJ, you nearly said 'my girlfriend'" Santana teased

"I was actually going to say 'my Rachel'" Quinn tried to explain but immediately wanted to face palm when she corrected her friend

"That's no better" Santana actually laughed, not an evil bitch cackle either, a soft sympathetic one.

"It isn't is it?" Quinn chuckled too then her expression dropped "I need to talk to her"

"Damn right you do!" Santana exclaimed playfully. She recognised what Quinn was going through, she needed to find that girl and just tell her already. Quinn went to wheel away when Santana remembered what she wanted to talk to Quinn about, she'd wanted to talk about this for the longest time but she'd been so scared. She swallowed thickly "Q" Santana sounded so weak it almost startled Quinn "I'm so... so damn sorry for texting you that day, I almost got you and Berry killed"

"Santana" Quinn's brow creased again but this time was with concern. She quickly wheeled herself back to Santana's side.

"Brittany tried to tell me it wasn't my fault but... I can't see it that way. I mean sure maybe if sandals hadn't pissed Berry off you wouldn't have been in the car. But I should'a stopped texting when you said you were in the car"

"Santana, it's okay" Quinn was getting a little tired of having to assure people of these things but everything needed to be said if they had a chance of moving on in life. "I shouldn't have text back, it's my own fault. Please, please don't blame yourself; I spend enough time with Rachel telling her it wasn't her fault"

Santana screwed her face up in confusion "Why would she blame herself?"

"She just-" she stopped herself before she said something stupid. She'd never ever share Rachel's secret with anyone, but she wanted to get her explanation in check just so nothing suspicious slipped out "she moved the steering wheel just before we got hit, as if she was trying to pull me away and she thinks she made it worse instead. We'll just never know right... I like to think she saved me, it stopped that truck hitting me full force" she confessed her personal feelings about the impact, it was the first she'd said directly about it to the Latina "You don't need to feel like this San"

"Just... me and Britt had a night in and the TV was on in the background and the next thing we know we're hearing a report from earlier in the day about two students from McKinley were in a car accident... and then I realised why one of the roads was shut off on the way home" she said shakily and avoided direct eye contact as she thought back to that afternoon and evening "And I text you again, because they hadn't released names yet, and I just really hoped you were getting lucky with Berry and too distracted to reply"

"God Santana, don't cry" Quinn almost said within a gasp, seeing Santana like this was scary/

"I could'a got you killed" she muttered as she carefully wiped at her tears, not wanting to smear her makeup, thank god for water resistant mascara.

"I'm okay, Rachel's okay, and you are not to blame, please, I don't want you to blame yourself" she had to say a little sterner.

She didn't go and find Rachel in the end, she stayed by Santana until the girl had calmed down. Brittany found them right at the end of lunch, she was definitely jealous of the other blondes finding skills. They all went their separate ways to their lessons after lunch.

.

Last lesson that same day was both a blessing and a nightmare. The teacher wasn't in, so they got a sub, and the sub didn't even care if they did the work or not, but Quinn hated the noise when she was sat alone. She felt so secluded. And she was really annoyed, where was Rachel? The seat next to her remained empty thanks to Rachel's absence. She wanted to explain about what the girl might have seen at the cafeteria but that was kinda hard when the girl was nowhere to be seen-

The chair screeching as it was pulled out next to her distracted Quinn from her slowly rising mixture of anger and worry "Rachel?" she looked up at the girl who gave her a weak smile

"Sorry I'm late" she said the line that she normally muttered to teachers, never actually meaning her apology when she said it to them, but she was sorry this time.

"... you were smoking?" Quinn asked, there was no disguising the smell

"It was only one, I haven't had one in a while, and I'm sorry" she muttered again as she took her seat

"No, no" Quinn rushed "I'm not your boss, you can do what you want, I was just asking..."

The brunette just eyed her suspiciously "Who are you and what have you done with my friend?" she sounded very serious but then she laughed

Quinn just shoved her playfully "... So, I couldn't find you at lunch" the blonde said, trying to sound casual. She doodled in the corner of her notebook.

"Oh I was with the skanks, just having a catch up" Rachel replied, actually managing to be casual. She left her bag on the desk and lent forward leaning on the desk with her arms folded on top.

Quinn just nodded "Are they okay? I haven't had a chance to catch up with them much"

"Yeah they're good" she shrugged "We're planning a night out for when you and me are off the pain meds and whatever the hell else I'm jacked up on" she huffed a light laugh

"You don't know what you're on" Quinn furrowed her brow with concern

"Don't know what they're specifically called, it's probably anti depressants. I'm pretty sure my dad was going to hide them in my food if I didn't take them, so I just do when he passes me them" "It could be a sugar tablets really for all I know"

"Rach... don't you think you should read the labels?"

"I've read them Quinn, but there's like three bottles and they've all got long names I can't pronounce. And my dad is in control, I trust him more than I trust myself"

"Okay..." She wouldn't push it, as long as Leroy was involved there was no need to worry "I missed you at lunch"

"Yeah?" the fact Rachel sounded surprised hurt "I'm sorry, I just... you've got other friends right? And I don't want to take up your time"

"Well I don't want to be an inconvenience to you either" Quinn would have muttered but it would have been missed in the other voices in the class room in the rows behind them.

"Quinn, you could never be an inconvenience... you're still my best friend" she reminded the blonde unnecessarily "Which reminds me, I want to ask you something"

"Yeah?" for a split second Quinn stupidly thought the reverse of her dream the other night might have come true

"Um... my therapist thinks that maybe for a session... just one for now that is, that maybe I could have someone important join me. I think she wants to see me and how I react round others so..." she trailed off, trying to find the courage to ask the actual question, instead she chose to exhaust herself by tiptoeing toward the subject "I know you have TJ for your Physio, but I was wondering if you could maybe sit in on a therapy session with me. I know what I'll talk about will involve you as well so I'll completely understand if you don't want to be there when we talk about... the whole event but-"

"No, I'd- I feel, um, honoured that you've asked me" she cut the nervous Brunette off, actually getting Rachel to swiftly turn to her "I just have one problem"

Just one? Okay Rachel could handle that "Sure, what?"

"Who the heck is TJ?" Quinn chuckled

"You know that kid, Teen Jesus, Joe or whatever, isn't he helping you with Physio?" she explained and asked, all with a cutely furrowed brow of her own. The question though shook thoughts like that from Quinn's head

"Rach, no, we already discussed this" she shook her head "I'm not talking to him anymore not after what we did... are you having memory problems?" she asked a little worried, it wouldn't be impossible, right?

"No, no, I'm fine" Rachel assured her quickly "I do remember I just didn't know if you actually weren't speaking to him"

"After what you told me and reminded me you know I ditched him. I talked to him earlier-"

"Yeah I saw" Rachel said lowly and ducked her head

"Rach, don't worry, he approached me because I haven't been talking to him. He's tried saying sorry but I told him to forget it after what he did, and more importantly what he said to you Rach. If I'd realised it was him I wouldn't have even spoken to him in the very first place" she realised Rachel thought maybe she'd lied to her. And if she thought about it, she'd done it before, like about the texts... she never wanted to hurt the girl who had always been too good to her "And I was going to tell you that he spoke to me today too"

"Okay" Rachel just nodded, dismissively.

"You know I wouldn't go behind your back like that-"

"Hey Quinn, it's okay" she assured her. She didn't really want to talk about it as she was now feeling some guilt for suspecting Quinn ad gone behind her back, she didn't deserve Quinn in any aspect, at least that's what she believed.

"But I just want to make sure you understand, I don't want his friendship anymore. If he can't accept Santana and Brittany, and you" _'And me'_ her mind whispered because her mouth couldn't say it "and on top of that he was a catalyst for... _that day_" she swallowed nervously "I couldn't even consider being his friend, and just because he was there for me recently, well that was my stupidity for not putting two and two together. You're far more important to me"

"I-I am?" she hated that Rachel sounded surprised

"Of course you are" Quinn's voice squeaked unintentionally "Joe, or TJ, he's nothing to me anymore"

"I know, I just... he was here when I wasn't" Rachel sais stupidly.

"Really! Rachel" She didn't mean to sound aggressive when she snapped, it was partially because of the competing noise behind them "you weren't here for a damn good reason, because I nearly got us killed"

"No you didn't it was my fault" the brunette punk sighed

"We're never going to agree on this are we" Quinn laughed, because what else could they do, they could both be so stubborn

"Nope" Rachel made sure to pop the 'p'

"I don't want you blaming yourself" Quinn said softer

"And I don't want you blaming yourself" Rachel matched her tone. She tensed when she felt a familiar hand slide over her own. Quinn liked this maybe even more than Rachel, it was like a bay step for her. She eventually relaxed, allowing herself to like Quinn's stupidly simple hand hold.

"Well have to keep working in this, maybe your therapist can help us" Quinn suggested, making it clear she wanted to be there for her

"Maybe"

"If I go to some therapy sessions with you do you think you can do something for me?"

"_Anything"_ her mind answered immediately but she calmed herself "Depends what it is"

"Could you come to my physio sessions with me? You were just saying we don't get to spend enough time together"

"Yeah I can do that" she actually smiled.

.

When the bell finally rang at the end of the day both girls were feeling much more positive. Rachel offered to push Quinn to the chair and Quinn jokingly offered to take Rachel's bag. They weren't awkward though, it was all good

When they got to Rachel's car the driver stopped Quinn's chair by the front passenger door, she then opened the door then turned to Quinn "May I?" she asked carefully but with a glint of mischief "help you into the car" she added when Quinn looked at her blankly

"Um, sure" the blonde wasn't comfortable with help, but this was Rachel, the only person she showed her vulnerable side to, and she trusted the girl, and always appreciated her assistance.

Quinn held an arm out letting Rachel carefully slip an arm under Quinn's and round her back and slipped her other arm under Quinn's knees so she could lift her bridal style out of the chair

Quinn giggled at the surprise of the shorter girl picking her up so swiftly. But she'd never failed to remember the list of Rachel's injuries from her time spent in the hospital sat next to a comatose Rachel, though, so amongst those giggles she managed to say "Rachel no, your back, your back"

"Don't know what you're talking about Quinn, I never left" Rachel joked looking deep into hazel eyes. The pair were stuck for a moment, Rachel still managing to hold the taller girl bridal style. She shook herself from her Quinn induced haze and carefully slipped Quinn into the seat in the car

When she pulled away, putting a decent amount of space between her and Quinn, she leant against the open space of the doorway "So I was wondering" this way she was nearer Quinn's height as she spoke to her "Prom is coming up in a couple of weeks and I know its stupid to ask because I'm sure you've already been asked and stuff... but I was wondering, if you haven't by some weird reason, got someone to go with already" Quinn just patiently watched and listened as Rachel fumbled and twisted her words just to ask a probably simple question "That maybe you'd go to the prom with me, like friends" she added the last bit quickly

"I have been asked" Quinn told her, making Rachel bow her head with disappointment. Meanwhile her heart was beating like crazy in her chest.

"Oh" She heard Rachel mutter

"But I said no to them..." that got Rachel looking up again, with hopeful eyes "I'd love to go with you"

"Great" Rachel grinned then ducked her head to scold herself. With a more basic smile she looked back up "That's great" she cleared her throat too of over excitement "it starts at 7 so maybe I could pick you up at 6 and we could grab a bite to eat first" she suggested "If that's okay with you?"

"I'd like that" Quinn nodded, she'd like that very much. She did wonder though what got Rachel to change her mind, she'd told Quinn months ago that she didn't plan on going

"Okay, good, I'll uh, I'll figure something out" she had to control her breathing, she felt so stupid, it was just a friend date.

"Everyone will just be heading to Breadsticks so we can go there" Quinn suggested

"Um, yeah maybe" Rachel shrugged. Going as friends or not she wouldn't be taking Quinn to boring old Breadsticks.

.

"So how many therapy sessions have you had so far?" Quinn asked on the drive home, trying to break the tension... if there even was a tension in the silence, she was too busy distracted by Rachel's earlier proposition.

"Um, 6 or 7 I think. They started as house visits, and I have a couple a week... though the first week I had three, just... apparently there was a lot to cover in the introduction. It was my dad's idea. I think he's been worried about me long before our accident. I think he was worried I'd develop a duel personality or something. But no, just that I have abandonment and trust issues, apparently I'm always quick to blame myself, Dr Lewis said I do it like a defensive mechanism, I try to push someone away before they do" it took a while through the ramble for Rachel to realise she was even rambling, she couldn't seem to stop though. Quinn just thought it was refreshing though to hear Rachel actually talk.

"Rachel, you are always quick to blame yourself, I really wish you wouldn't... I don't think you've ever done anything truly wrong"

"No I have, I really have, you, Abby-"

"No Rachel, no, just stop that" she was accidentally angry again, bitter.

"I-I'm sorry... It's just how I see things"

"Well you're stupid then" she said much softer

"Thanks" Rachel muttered sarcastically

"You know I meant that with kindness" she tried to correct

"No, no I get it, I'm an idiot" Rachel waved off, growing a little jokier.

"You're not an idiot, I said you're stupid" Quinn corrected with a light chuckle

"Is there a difference?" the brunette scoffed

"Yes" Quinn said the one word matter-of-factly "What did you say earlier about duel personality?" she asked, wanting to get back to that "You mean like you're not yourself?"

"It's been ruled out as a psyc condition for me, I don't have more than one personality... Dr Lewis just said it was a coping mechanism that I might or might not get over... but I feel better the way I am, I don't want to go backwards" she sounded distant as she really thought about it.

"You said you were a diva... I still see some of that, when you're singing, but its more reluctant, the way you bossed everyone round for sectionals"

"I didn't want everyone to hate me, not for being another Mercedes or Kurt, I don't care if they hate me for being a prick but-" she stopped when she heard Quinn chuckling. She glanced at the girl strangely "Why are you laughing?"

"Never heard you say that before" she said still laughing just a little

"What?" Rachel asked, not sure what Quinn was referring to

"When you said prick" she chuckled again

"Grow up Quinn" she muttered dryly

"No, its the way you called yourself that" she explained that she wasn't being _completely_ childish "Sorry, you were talking... duel personality?"

"Oh right..." Rachel sounded nervous again "so when my sister... died, I adopted some of her style and... well some of her personality. I know it sounds crazy, but my hair, the tattoos, the tongue piercing that was all to be like her. The jacket is hers too" she added, now it seemed to make sense why she wore it all the time.

Quinn just watched the side of Rachel's head as her expression changed back to that deep thinking one "Was she...? Never mind" she stopped herself from asking that stupid question

"No, what is it?" Rachel urged her to ask.

"I was going to ask... was she... a, um, lesbian?"

"What? Oh I see what you mean" was Quinn really checking Rachel was gay or simply wondering... what was the difference, and did it even matter..? Rachel then realised she hadn't actually answered "No she was straight, that's just me, I can't lie to myself about that"

"Sorry for asking, I was just wondering" Quinn muttered shyly

"That's fine" the brunette dismissed "My therapist said its good to talk about these things... but if you don't want me talking about it-"

"No, talk to me about anything, I like it when you open up" Quinn rushed to assure her. This was the most relaxed conversation they'd had in ages

"I don't talk too much?" Rachel checked

"No, we don't talk serious enough anyway"

"Except when you're getting me to baby sit with you and finding out all my big plans for life" Rachel teased, remembering that, perhaps mild, grilling well.

"Exactly, I liked that talk, it let me get to know a slightly more serious side of you" the blonde continued to watch the other girl fondly "So what other secrets have you got?" she was eager to know "other than wearing tight undershirts so it feels like you're getting a hug" she teased

"Oh god, you remember me saying that?" Rachel would have face palmed if it hadn't involved taking her eyes off the road.

"Of course I do" she could probably remember everything Rachel had told her, at least since she found out he girl had real feelings for her "Why wouldn't I..? oh... it was right before"

"I wasn't sure if your memory..." Rachel trailed off, no matter how hard they tried, they ended up back at this subject.

"No, my memory was fine, I was unconscious for a couple of days... no bad head trauma for me..."

"Where were we?" the brunette prompted a subject change

"Your secrets" Quinn reminded too eagerly

"Oh yeah" what was left to tell Quinn, she knew her worst and biggest secret and they didn't need to revisit that again "Well, I might be crazy, I might be cursed and... I might have once dreamed of being a Broadway star"

"You what?!" Quinn almost choked "Really?"

"Yeah, it was my goal for the first 16 and a half years of my life. But then everything got turned upside down and" she shrugged "I just want to live and have fun, for her. And I really want a family one day, one of my own with hundreds of kids. Most of which I'll probably foster or adopt 'cause I don't think I can handle the whole giving birth thing more than once" and another face palming moment passed Rachel by. Maybe it was the excitement, the feelings she was afraid to admit about Quinn's answer to the prom question that had her like this, maybe it was the therapy "Was it hard for you? I know giving her up was hard, how couldn't it be, but the childbirth... just we're talking and I was wondering"

"It's okay. Yeah of course it's hard but... at the time you're a mess, you're irritable, you want to hurt someone and you just want the whole thing to be over. But you kinda don't think about dignity when you're there, in the stirrups. People are walking in and you're not even thinking about how you're on show" she ducked her head and thought back really hard "But then its over and you're holding your baby and for a moment you forget everything that just happened... that's until a nurse comes in to sow you up down there" she shook her head to herself, embarrassed that she'd even shared that last part

"Ouch" Rachel cringed "Would you have another one?"

"Yeah... when the time is right, and with the right person" she'd never thought about finding the right person, never thought it was appropriate to imagine those feelings at this time in your life. And now she just felt stupid. There was one detail from earlier she wasn't to correct "Rach?"

"Yeah"

"I, ah, about the prom, I- Is that Santana's car outside your house?" she creased her brow when she saw the recognisable car parked in front of Rachel's house

"Oh yeah I invited her and Brit over to mine to hang out with both of us, is that okay?" she asked as she pulled round Santana's car and then up onto the Berry household driveway.

"Yeah it's fine. How come? I didn't know you were _that_ friendly with them"

"Quinn, they were your best friends, you're followers, and I distract you so much you don't get to hang out with other people so much"

"But I like spending time with you" Quinn reminded her, she really didn't mind.

"You do?" again, why was this a surprise to Rachel, it left Quinn with no doubt that the same old Rachel was still there somewhere.

"Yeah" Quinn let how hurt she was be heard

"Well than maybe this will work out, like bring two parts of your life together" she said as she unbuckled her seatbelt, then she asked "Is it really okay?"

"It really is and- When the heck did you get a ramp?" she'd just noticed it out of the corner of her eye. Half of the porch steps had a ramp built over it.

"Oh, uh, don't be offended I just didn't want you to have to worry about coming round. I know you've made progress, I've been there but I don't want to suggest you try a few steps on your own just yet. And I don't want you to worry about when you visit and I want you to be able to visit me as much as I visit you-"

"You're so sweet to me" Quinn smiled, her words making Rachel completely falter

"Oh, uh, well, I try" it took everything for her not to melt into a puddle of useless gook over something so futile as a few simple words.

"Rach-"

"I'll just get your chair and then help you out" she went to leave the car but then turned back to the blonde "sorry I cut you off, what did you want to say? Was this about prom, you said earlier before you saw Santana's car. If you've changed your mind it's okay"

"No! No it's not that, it's just..." _'Tell her you don't want to go as friends, tell her it's a date, tell her!'_ her head screamed, but she just couldn't "Just that I'm really looking forward to prom"

"... me too" Rachel smiled.

.

When they got into the house with the other two girls, and once Raven had finished excitedly greeting them, Rachel helped Quinn out of her chair and to the sofa. While they were distracted Brittany murmured how sweet the other two girls were with the each other. Once she was settled, Rachel decided now was as good as time as ever to get better acquainted with the other blonde in the room, the girl she still knew least despite recent time spent together with Santana and Puck.

"Hey, Britt, do you want to help me get some snacks and stuff"

"Sure"

Once they were alone, Quinn smirked to the girl sitting on the perpendicular sofa "You stopped crying then?"

"That's not funny Q" Santana grumbled

"I know, I just don't want other people blaming themselves. It was me okay, I was all down to me, I was driving. Even the truck driver blamed himself, his insurance covered everything, but if I'd been concentrating better I would have seen him and braked"

"Yeah but he belonged to a company, can't have bad publicity, 'truck driver nearly kills kids' without compensation" Santana shrugged "So when are you getting a new car?"

"When I can drive" she pointed to the chair sat the other side of the arm of the sofa next to her "We've got a check for it... I might not bother straight away anyway" there were other things to deal with, college payments for one

Santana just nodded "So what's going on with you and her?"

"Nothing" Quinn shook her head casually

Santana narrowed her eyes, she'd seen them all extra smiley in the car, the way Rachel held her hands so tightly as she lifted herself out of her wheelchair and shuffled over to the sofa "I thought you were all like in love with her"

"I never said in love" but it felt so close to that, could she really tell the difference?

"Whatever, I just wanna know what's happening, have you told her and if not are you gonna. I know the whole... accident thing screwed shit up but still. You're both still here, and she's still her normal weird self"

"She's not that weird" Quinn defended her- I mean, Rachel

"She built you a ramp Q, and she bribed me and Puck into helping her, while letting Brittany watch us argue" Santana pointed out, unamused, or just pretending not to be with that continuous narrowing of her eyes and dry tone.

"Wait" Quinn stopped her "she actually built it?"

"Yeah she called me up early Saturday morning, really bad timing so I'm pissed off, and mentions she's got a project. I'm thinking another song, maybe me and her take some leads in a group number idea she's got for Nationals so me and Britt come over... and no, we get here same time as Puck, and her dad gives her money to buy supplies to build you the ramp, and she wanted my help" why? Santana wasn't sure, maybe just the fact she used to be Quinn's right had gal "We crammed ourselves into Pucks truck to go get the stuff, came back, and... okay so I'm not saying it was fun but... it was kinda fun" she conceded, even the arguing had made the day fun

"Building a ramp" Quinn checked, Santana just nodded, it was even convincing "for me?" she checked again

"You're my friend Q, and B's... and Puck's, you're important to him and Rachel's still crazy about you. So yeah we spent Saturday building that damn ramp, had a few drinks when we were done, enjoyed the sun... it was kinda nice"

"When I saw it I thought she just paid someone to put it in" she was also wondering why she hadn't even noticed it in the last couple of days... but how often do you look at your neighbours porch.

"No! I helped build that, bitch" usual Santana snapped. She forced herself to soften again "See, Rachel cares so damn much, you can't let her go". On top of that they spent ages building it so Santana wondered "I actually thought you'd come home while we were yelling at each other in the front yard. Where the hell did Judes take you?"

"She wanted to take me Prom dress shopping" she shrugged "something about not being involved enough last year. Then she wanted to make a whole day trip of it, taking me to dinner after. I guess she was in on the 'surprise'"

"I guess you won't need to come prom dress shopping with the rest of the glee girls and Kurt like last year" the raven haired girl assumed

"I guess not" she agreed, she'd actually wanted to this time but it would just be something else she'd miss out on... not that the day out with her mom wasn't fun too "Are you and Britt going together?"

"To the prom? Yeah, I mean sure I'm scared, I'll share that with you Q, but... maybe if we weren't running for Prom king and Queen I wouldn't be so worried but... you think it will be okay?" she asked meekly

"You've both been out for months now and Brittany's still the class president, it hasn't been that bad has it?"

"I guess not" Santana said as she thought back. She was still head cheerleader, she still had Brittany, and thanks to Rachel no one had slushied her and no more boys had made any unwanted suggestions... Rachel had turned the school round almost with just a few actions... it was kinda weird and unexpected

"Are you really going to get your prom dress with her, there will be no big compliments on the night, no surprises" Quinn pointed out. Maybe Santana would want to shop with her, not that she was desperate to go prom dress shopping again or anything, she really was happy with the dress she already had.

"Why? Because _your_ date doesn't know what you're going to be wearing on the night?" Santana teased

"No" Quinn bit her lip to keep the secret inside, it didn't last long though "... Rachel doesn't know what my prom dress looks like"

"Oh my god, I so want to scream like a girl with you right now. I won't, but just saying" Santana actually sounded excited too "How did she react when you asked her?"

"She asked me, before we left school" the blonde grinned

"Oh... how did she ask...?" The Latina's expression dropped.

"She was really shy and awkward but she just asked me"

"So it's a date?" Santana checked

"Yeah... well no actually she added 'as friends' at the end of when she asked" Quinn explained reluctantly "But I'll make sure she knows its a date, I'll tell her or re-ask her or something"

"You better tell her soon though Q, then she can set it up all date like otherwise she'll be... like your driver"

It was Quinn's turn to narrow her eye at the other girl "It's that a wheel chair joke?"

"Maybe" Santana shrugged cool-ly

"What are you guys talking about?" Brittany asked as she came back into the room with Rachel and Raven and the promised snacks and drinks

"Oh nothing, just about our hot dates to the prom" Santana smirked in her usual way as the two girls put everything on the coffee table

Brittany then slid into the spot next to Santana, hugged into her side and gave her a quick kiss, she thought her girlfriend was just being sweet, not stirring trouble "Who's your hot prom date Quinn?"

"Um, I'm going with Rachel" Quinn tried to sound confident, and try to tell Rachel she was okay with it being a date date

Even Brittany was happy to unknowingly contribute to that idea "Aww that's so sweet, you two are finally dating"

"Ah, no Britt, no. No, no... no, we're just going as friends" Rachel corrected, missing any of Quinn's mild disappointment. She just stood the opposite side of the table, she was about to offer Quinn a drink but she suddenly found her feet taking her back to the kitchen, Raven on her heel "I ah... I forgot something" she muttered

The reaction actually surprised everyone in the room, except Brittany "Britt, why don't you go see if she needs help?" Santana suggested. She wanted to talk to Quinn some more

"Okay" Brittany said happily as she got up and when back to the kitchen too

"What I don't get, why have you waited so long?" she verbally dove straight back to _that_ subject.

"Things have been difficult you know... I see her so fragile now" and hadn't Santana just seen Rachel's reaction to Brittany thinking they were dating "And now I really know I can reciprocate her feelings fully, I don't want to hurt her"

"Oh right, I get it Q"

"And things have been a mess, we needed to get past one thing before we can move onto the next. Things need to... calm down-"

"It's okay, I said I get it. A lot of shit went down and you guys can't just jump into anything straight away" she then huffed humourlessly mostly to herself "I only had to come out and see how long it took for me with Britt"

"Are you happy? You look happy" it was supposed to be a compliment

"Yeah... I'm happy" Santana managed a real smile "Brittany asked me for help with her school work a couple of months ago... I've been tutoring her"

"Is that some sort of bedroom thing, because I don't think I want the details" Quinn grimaced

"No I really am tutoring her" Santana corrected "And who are you kidding Q, you'd want the details" she smirked, Quinn just cringed some more "Seriously though, Britt... we know she's not the smartest, but she's not dumb either. I've been helping her and she's been passing assignments and I think she'll graduate no problem"

"So college?" Quinn prompted. If Brittany got into college and on top of that Santana and she could work it out and keep going, it gave Quinn hope for herself.

"I think we're both heading for New York" She sounded confident, not just hopeful "There was talk of Kentucky but she's going New York and I talked to my parents so I'm heading there too now... that's the plan, just got to get through finals first"

"That's really great San"

"What's your plan, you and Berry?"

"I... well I'm going to Connecticut... and she said she wasn't going to college so she'll be here and... I don't know really"

"Did you get into Yale?" Santana asked, not meaning to sound so over surprised

"Oh yeah... I didn't tell you, I only told my mom, I wanted to tell Rachel first and-"

"What did you want to tell me?" Rachel asked just as she came back into the room, lamely holding dip for the chips, and Brittany and Raven following

"I got into Yale" Quinn told her

"You did? Congratulations, I'm so happy for you" she dropped the bowl to the table then went to hug Quinn, audience be damned "why didn't you tell me sooner?" she softly scolded

"I thought I already had" Quinn laughed awkwardly

"If you had I would have remembered"

"I, ah... I told you when you were in the hospital" she admitted

"Oh... I guess I am forgetful then" Rachel laughed too, she wouldn't let bad feelings cloud this moment for Quinn "Congratulations Quinn, you really deserve this" she smiled a smile that warmed Quinn. The other two girls glanced at each other, Brittany had a knowing glint in her eye. It wouldn't be long now for the two other girls. "How about a drink to celebrate?" Rachel suggested

"Rach, we're both still on meds" Quinn chuckled

"Fine... I'll find something else to toast the celebration" Rachel quickly conceded. As she was about to leave the room again she noticed her beloved dog sniffing round the things on the table

"Raven, bed now" she commanded, with heavy authority. The dog slowly obeyed like a scolded child wandering over to her bed in the corner and then lowering herself to lie down. With that Rachel went to find something to celebrate the occasion.

Santana leant away from Brittany a bit, to speak lowly to Quinn "I see you Q"

"What?" she snapped her eyes to her old friend

"You're thinking of Berry saying that to you"

"What?" she chuckled almost nervously for some reason.

"Quinn, bed now" Santana husked teasing the short haired blonde

"I wasn't thinking of that" she shook her head dismissively, she really wasn't

"Bet you were" Santana taunted while Brittany watched, entertained, and Raven watched then from across the room

"I wasn't" she tried to assure them

"But you are now" Santana said, with that mischievous bitch glint in her eye

"Shut up" she grumbled and forced herself to not blush while the other two girls giggled.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it took a bit longer than usual<strong>

**Let me know what you think... I think...**


	21. Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor

**Thanks for reviewing the previous chapter: musicwolf89, Harley Quinn Davidson, Musicfutbolfan6, xtreme12, Ilianaovee, recklesslittleliar, piecesofyourheart, NZgleek91, mika-faberryluver4395, agirl00z, Guest, sayitwithyourhands, LoveSKINS94, kutee, Guest, Gleelover47, Guest and lemon-rind. It's muchly appreciated!**

**Now looking through this chapter I think you'll find its incredibly annoying, but here we go.**

**Posted: 6/9/13**

* * *

><p>I Bet That You Look Good On The Dance Floor<p>

When Rachel had nervously asked her to prom, it had felt like there was loads of time until the event, but here it was, prom night already. It was poorly placed as they were in the middle of finals, graduation was fast approaching, and they still had nationals to deal with. But tonight they could relax and have some fun. And Rachel was her date... friend date.

She'd never actually plucked up the courage to tell Rachel she wanted to make it a date date, so they were still technically going as friends. Quinn had some plans though, she'd been doing well in physio lately, it felt like soon she'd be back on her feet permanently. She could already walk round her temporary relocated downstairs bedroom, even if her mom didn't encourage it, especially without her there to make she was okay. She was pretty sure she could manage one dance tonight at least, and she didn't plan on it being for the traditional Prom King and Queen dance, even if she managed to win prom Queen. She didn't know who nominated her, she definitely didn't put herself up for the vote... she just wasn't interested anymore.

As she sat at her dressing table with Judy standing behind her fixing her hair she felt it was time to confess. Judy seemed to be more than happy to help, and Quinn's hair had grown enough for Judy to be able to style it a little.

"So, I'm going with Rachel" she cautiously glanced at her mother through the mirror as she fiddled with the different makeup containers on the dresser in front of her.

"I know sweetie you already told me" the mother smiled back "Many times" she added almost mockingly

Quinn tried to swallow her nerves "Mom?"

"Yes Quinnie" Judy seemed to be controlling the smirk that wanted to slip onto her lips very well. She knew, or just hoped, what Quinn was going to say next.

"I uh... I don't, I mean... um" her eyes dropped, not able to hold her mom's anymore

"What is it? You can tell me" her hands dropped to her daughter's shoulders and she gave them a comforting encouraging squeeze.

"This whole going with Rachel thing" she swallowed thickly as she bravely met her mother's gaze through the mirror once again "It's not, I mean, I don't want it to be two friends going together"

"Okay" Judy nodded

"Do you understand?" Quinn asked cautiously

"Yes sweetie, you want to be her date" Judy said nonchalantly, as she resumed working on the last light touches to Quinn's hair. She didn't want to be over the top, even though she wanted to, she was happy for Quinn, really happy, and almost just a tiny confused as to why she was just _that_ happy that her daughter wanted to date another girl.

"Uh, yeah" Quinn blushed at her mother's bluntness and ducked her head "Are you okay with it?" she asked cautiously.

"Yes, I like Rachel... does she know this is more than two friends going?" Judy asked with pure curiosity, seeing as Leroy hadn't mentioned that Rachel had said this was a date.

"I hope so, but I don't know for sure. She asked if I'd go with her... and she likes me..." Quinn thought aloud. Her stomach then dropped at another thought "oh god what if she doesn't like me anymore?"

"She likes you" Judy reassured her with a chuckle. Everyone could see just how much Rachel still liked her

"Are you really okay with it?" Quinn asked again "I mean, I'm not gay, but what if I am, I might be you know, if I like her I kinda must be and-"

"Quinnie calm down, it's okay" Judy held her daughters shoulders again to stop her rambling "I've been okay with the idea when I realised Rachel had feelings for you, not long after Rachel and Leroy moved in next door"

"Really?" she wasn't sure what she was more surprised at, her mother saying she was okay with it, or Rachel having had feelings so long according to her mother "She wasn't exactly the kind of person I can see you liking me hanging around with"

"Leroy said something similar once. But she got you out of your shell Quinn, she made you live a little, and it was refreshing, I'm glad it was short lived. But I'm also glad she was still in your life afterward too. You've both been through a lot" She smiled sadly at her daughter through the mirror "I just want you happy Quinn"

"Thanks mom" Quinn smiled back shyly. The worst, she hoped, was behind them. Tonight was the night, she'd decided.

The resumed their getting ready routine for a moment but then Judy couldn't help herself by muttering "... It's about time really"

"What?" The daughter asked with further surprise

"You two were so sweet round each other all day, Christmas day, it was a little sickening. But I was cursing myself for not putting mistletoe everywhere." Judy chuckled at the memories

"Mom!" Quinn yelped as her eyes shot to her mothers. Tonight really was a night for surprises and she hadn't even got out the front door yet.

"And then I really hoped new years eve maybe you'd just happen to be right next to one another as midnight came around and-"

"Okay I'm blushing now, stop it" Quinn tried to cease the shocking compilation of words falling from her mother's mouth. She almost began wondering if she was drinking again... but no there was no glass of amber liquid in Judy's hand like there had been last year, which was definitely a good thing.

Judy's expression then turned a little more serious, she was more still too "And then valentines day..."

Quinn just nodded a little sadly "... That's the day I was going to... say something. Maybe tell her it- that I was reciprocating... but, well you know what happened" she confessed "She told me on new years"

"Told you what?" Judy asked. She was finished with Quinn's hair, so she stepped back and took a seat at the foot of Quinn's bed.

Quinn wheeled her chair round to face her mom "She told me she loves me... or loved me" she noted mostly to herself. Time had passed she couldn't be completely sure things were the same for Rachel, especially with the therapy, what if that Dr Lewis had helped her analyse things and she saw that- No! Quinn stopped herself, she was over thinking

Judy's voice helped bring her from her thoughts "She did?"

"Yeah but she was drunk, really drunk- well you saw" she sighed a short laugh, she was sure neither of them would forget Rachel stumbling out of her bedroom "I don't think she remembers telling me. But she did and she said it hurt that she had these feelings, so much so she wished we'd never met"

"Quinn? You're not forcing yourself to like her like that are you? Because that's not going to solve anything" Judy just checked

"No I do feel..." damn, she still couldn't just say it. She looked away, finding her hands far more interesting again "I don't know when, but maybe sectionals, I didn't know what it was but it was there. When she said those things at new years I just- it hurt too, but I thought I couldn't reciprocate. But things started to change, I've seen her vulnerable, I've seen her happy. At her best and her worst, but I-..." she had to stop, she was getting teary and that could no happen after all the time she'd spent on her makeup. "You know, I even tested her, I didn't even realise I was doing it, but a few years ago when I was pregnant I wanted to test Puck, see if he could be a good father, so I asked him to baby sit with me... and I subconsciously tested Rachel. I got her away from all her comfort zones and got her to baby sit with me"

"It's that serious?" Judy asked. She just wondered. She knew from Leroy and like from that time when Quinn started dating Finn again and Rachel had a theatrical outburst in her room, that what Rachel was feeling was more than just a school girl crush.

"You know how minds wander, I went too far but-" she tried to explain, worried Judy would change her mind if this didn't sound like it was just a phase

"It's sweet" Judy cut her off reassuringly

"You think?" Quinn asked, was it sweet, or just creepy

"Yeah, you two are sweet" Judy nodded again. She got up and closed in on her daughter to give her a delicate hug, not because she was still in the chair, feeling too tired today to just walk round her room, but because she might crease the dress or mess up the hair.

"You're really not going to chuck all my stuff on the front yard and lock me out" Quinn muttered as she just hugged her mother back.

"No, I'm not" Judy chuckled again before pulling away "Have a good time tonight... and although I know the clichés of a prom night, I hope you'll be more respectable-"

"Mom!" Quinn yelped yet again, she really didn't think her mom could get her to blush that many times already this evening... in fact she didn't think her mom would make her blush at all "Please this isn't even a proper date- I mean- just don't worry, it's not like that" Suddenly the doorbell rang and Quinn felt her heart rate pick up "Oh god, is that her already" it wasn't time yet, it wasn't 6pm... it was just before.

"No that should be Leroy, he wanted to come round so we could wave you off together" Judy left Quinn to compose herself and when to answer the front door "hi" she greeted simply

"Hey, is she ready?" The father of the other girl asked softly as he stepped inside, already armed with his camera.

"Yeah, she looks so nervous" Judy replied with the same soft tone, so they weren't over heard.

"Rachel looked like she was going to throw up" he laughed at his daughters sudden nerves. She was never nervous "she's been busy all day. Started this morning with washing and vacuuming the car"

"Yeah we saw" Judy told him with a small matching laugh. She led him further into the house, to the living room just off the foyer.

"Of course" You especially wouldn't miss it when she accidentally soaked herself with the hose and then swore for all to hear "Then she had to pick up a little something for tonight and then she spent two hours getting ready, she hasn't been this thorough in years... or this smitten" he just smiled that time

"I think they're so sweet" Judy confessed. Being around Leroy and getting to know him and his daughter had made her more comfortable and accepting, and it made her feel better to be accepting, simply for having less judgement inside her.

"It is quite entertaining to watch"

"Oh, Hi Leroy" a third voice introduced itself as she joined the two adults in the living room

"Hi Quinn, you look great" he commented on her dress, which he knew Judy had helped pick out "are you looking forward tonight?"

"Yeah, I am... how's Rachel?" she tried to ask casually

"Oh you know, her usual self" a hint of her old usual self with a little of the current too "She's just moving the car, she'll be here in a second"

Judy went over to the window to play look out. It wasn't long before she saw Rachel's car pull up in front of the Fabray residence. She just watched, almost feeling Quinn's nerves too at this point as the Brunette climbed out her car and wandered up the front yard, a bow in her hand and her lips moving as she mumbled something nervously to herself

The mother looked over her shoulder to Quinn "Your date is here" she winked at her blushing daughter

"Mom!" Quinn just squeaked and cautiously glanced at Leroy who just smiled and shook his head at all the teasing. If only they'd seen how much he had been winding Rachel up all day, she had a more snappy tone than a blushing shy one.

"Okay, okay I won't say anything else embarrassing" she quickly grabbed the camera and left the living room ready to open answer the door when Rachel was ready to ring the door bell. As soon as she did the door was opening startling her. "Hi Rachel, come in" she quickly ushered the girl inside

"Hi Mrs Fabray" Rachel nodded politely. She then wondered why she'd said that. Before she could even question her strange behaviour herself, Judy was speaking again

"Rachel" she said with a playful warning tone as she closed the door behind the brunette teen

"Sorry Judy" she ducked her head to the box she was still gripping at tightly when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. She immediately looked up to find her prom friend date, in a strapless dress in some shade of purple, and her hair done up immaculately "Wow you look... stunning"

"Thanks" Quinn furrowed her brow though "You're in a suit" she just imagined Rachel to wear a dress... not sure why, she never wore a dress, or a skirt. Rachel wore plain black pants, kind of in the style of jeans but not the material, so they hugged her nicely, they didn't flare like suit pants. She wore a plain black jacket too and a pink v-neck sweater that matched the bright re-dyed streak in her hair. Quinn also noticed Rachel's' tongue piercing was back, it had been removed while she was in a hospital for various reasons, like MRI scans and in case she swallowed it. So Rachel was back, or coming back, either way it was a welcome sight... But still it just felt traditional so she asked "Why not a dress?"

"Well I didn't want to dress up and look so fantabulous that I'd distract attention from you" Rachel said with her usually playful confidence as she wandered closer to the other girl, parents ignored. She took a knee in front of Quinn so she could look up at the other girl, it just felt more natural that way

"Fantabulous?" Quinn questioned with a quirked eyebrow

"It's a word, I looked it up" Rachel defended

"Oh yeah what does it mean?" the blonde prom vision dared

"It means to look better that Quinn Fabray" Rachel smirked right back before muttering light-heartedly "which is nearly impossible"

"I thought it meant something like extremely good" Quinn half corrected, half questioned Rachel's answer just as flirtatiously- no wait they weren't flirting, were they? Not in front of the rents.

"Same thing" Rachel brushed it off. Her confidence quickly began to dissipate at that point as she stepped right over the friend line into the date zone. She offered the box forward "Um, here, I got you, uh, this"

Quinn curiously took it, she didn't think of doing this herself, did this mean Rachel saw it as a date? She opened the box anyway to find two fluted type white flowers, their own leaves tied delicately around them as if they were ribbons and the entire miniature arrangement attached to an elasticised pearl style wrist band "Wow, Rach, you didn't have to do this"

"But I wanted to" she assured the other girl with sincerity "arum, the flower... if you were wondering" Rachel fumbled with her words, she just hoped she didn't fumble too much in her actions. She removed the corsage from the box and slipped it onto Quinn's left wrist. She noted that on the right wrist Quinn wore that bracelet Rachel had bought her for Christmas. "I'm glad it doesn't clash with your dress" hence her picking a white flower "But I feel we might" she added with a chuckle referencing the pink and purple. They both looked at the delicate compilation then met one another's gaze with warm smiles.

"Photo time girls!" the words sprung them apart again. Rachel slowly stood again too, putting more distance between them

"Mom" Quinn sighed

"Come on Quinnie" Judy encouraged, she had to have a prom night photo of her youngest daughter about to go to her senior prom... with her not date.

"Don't call me that" The young blonde glared at the older one

"Don't disobey your mom, Quinnie" Rachel teased

"Rachel!" Quinn snapped, feeling like she was being ganged up on. Though that just reminded her of Christmas. And made her think of how well Judy and Rachel got along.

"Come on just one photo" Judy asked much more nicely that time.

"Okay" Quinn sighed. Leroy rushed over to join the ladies, he and Judy raised their cameras as Rachel looked lost at what to do "Wait" Quinn stopped them softly. She didn't want a prom picture in this chair. She set the hand brake on her chair and then reached out "Rach, can you-"

"Sure" she promptly dropped the box the corsage had been in and took Quinn's offered hands and helped her out of her seat. Once she was standing fully she pulled Rachel's right hand round her and placed it on her waist, for support of course. That didn't mean it didn't still surprise Rachel. She tried to relax at the feeling of having Quinn so close to her and her hand so delicately attached. Quinn took a hold of Rachel's left hand with her own and let the stay in the middle, framing the corsage Rachel had picked out between them. Quinn was in flat shoes to cooperate with her chair while Rachel had shined her old boots and worn them, giving her a little more height. She was still shorter then Quinn but not by as much.

"Okay" Quinn nodded to the parents. After longer than 'just one photo' they were finally free and Rachel was escorting, by which I mean pushing her chair, to her shiny clean car. If it wasn't such a safe car and comforting place where the two girls felt confident Rachel would have hired something special. But this was a safe choice and comfortable choice for both of them.

It wasn't long into the drive that Quinn noticed something "Rach... this isn't the way to Breadsticks"

"I know" came a quick reply. She may have been dressed the part but since the moment Rachel had handed over that flower she was shy and nervous again "I thought maybe we could go somewhere different"

It wasn't long before they were pulling up outside an alternative restaurant. The word 'Grissini' sat proudly on the building. Quinn hadn't been here before but she thought she remembered her mom mentioning it. It hadn't been open long but it had good reviews.

Rachel was perfect as ever helping Quinn out of the car and then pushing her into the restaurant, after asking if Quinn was okay with it first of course. They were promptly seated once Rachel handed over her name to the Maitre D'

"Would you prefer a chair?" Rachel asked before she took her seat

"No, no this is fine" it was actually a good height table for her chair

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked again as she just held onto the back of her own chair and the waiter stood by to hand them their menus "Because I can-"

"Seriously Rachel it's fine. Please sit"

"Okay" she took her seat abruptly, then scolded herself for all her weird behaviour. She was nervous and really she didn't know why. She knew Quinn had no expectations, so she should just relax.

"Here are your menus I'll be back in a short while for your drink orders" their elected waiter said before disappearing again.

Quinn couldn't help but watch Rachel as she browsed the menu, her fingers twitching against the edge of the menu. She then looked round at the establishment, the atmosphere and decor matching the prices next to the food. It wasn't extortionate but it wasn't Breadsticks... but it was nice, she didn't feel like she was missing out on the packed atmosphere of breadsticks when she was in an equally packed restaurant a few streets over.

"So... how come we're here?" she asked casually, wondering how much effort Rachel had put in as she'd had to pre-book a table.

"Instead of the usual eating establishment?" Rachel asked

"Yeah, I told you Breadsticks was fine, you didn't have to bring us here" Quinn assured her, though she was happy she did put the effort in, it let Quinn know that Rachel did still possibly care for her in that way.

Rachel swallowed the last of her nerves. That was it, this was unnecessary, Quinn was such a close friend there was no need to feel nervous. She lowered her menu and her barriers to talk seriously "Quinn, I want you to have the best tonight, you said you were asked to prom before I asked you and that means a lot that you chose me, you could have been on a date with some boy who'd treat you to a special night so I'm going to make sure you still get that"

"Any other option would have taken me to Breadsticks, probably in a group date" Quinn told her, so this was above and beyond...

"Then... I apologise?" Rachel almost asked, not sure if she'd messed up or not. Maybe Quinn would have liked a double non date with Brittany and Santana or something, seeing as they were hanging around together a lot more lately and making friends-ish with Rachel.

"No, its not that, this place is really nice and well... you know" she muttered as she looked back at the menu

Rachel hesitated to say "...Expensive?"

"Yeah" Quinn nodded

"Don't worry I'm paying" Rachel assured her

"No we'll split it" Quinn argued... unless it was a date

"Quinn?" Rachel asked, looking to the hazel eyed girl with shy curiosity

"Yes Rachel" Quinn just encouraged

"I wish-"

"Good evening ladies, can I take your drink order"

Great timing as always. Everything was great timing for these two girls. They'd already missed so many opportunities how many more would they miss. Once the waiter was on his way Rachel tried to avoid some conversation she was no longer confident with and moved on

"Anyway, I know you like Italian food, and this is good Italian food so here we are" Rachel smiled, thinking she'd masterfully dodged her own bullet "Besides the Grissini here really are the best"

"Okay, don't call me dumb or anything but..." she leant closer over the table "what is Grissini?" Quinn laughed a little, defensively, at her own question

Rachel just picked up a handmade and twirled two toned Breadstick form the vase on the table "Breadsticks" she smiled

Quinn quirked an eyebrow "So we're at a restaurant called Breadsticks, but not Breadsticks"

"Yep. Breadsticks is so... it's okay but this is senior prom... I didn't want to take you somewhere your boyfriends took you and the same place you'd hang out with San and Britt and some of the other Cheerios. Or even the place you and me occasionally go to lunch or dinner to with our parents... besides I don't even like Breadsticks" she mumbled the last part

"Don't let Santana hear you say that" Quinn mumbled jokingly into her menu. But she had to ask, seeing as they'd eaten there so often "How can you not like Breadsticks?"

"I don't know... just everything tastes the same there. Besides it's not the right place for future Yale student" Rachel moved topic again. The waiter came over and placed their drinks in front of them. No fake ID's tonight, no want to drink either.

"Rach" Quinn shook her head, she didn't like to think that far ahead, it meant no Rachel.

"What, I'm proud of you... if that's okay to say" she added, afraid it wasn't her place

"Of course it is. I wouldn't have tried if you hadn't... well if you hadn't said things I wouldn't have got my life together and applied" it was true, the rebellious girl she'd met before senior year had actually helped her, not made her life fall apart like she imagined she would when that first met "Thank you"

"You don't need to thank me" Rachel said softly as she ran her finger tips over the condensation of her glass

"I want to though"

Rachel picked up her glass and smiled "To change?" she gestured the toast with her raised glass of whatever soda she'd picked.

"To change" Quinn agreed, raisin her own glass and clinking it against Rachel's. They then both drank before Quinn added "Some change is good... like being here"

"Well I'm glad you like it" Rachel relaxed a little more

"It's nice... it's too nice, you're too nice"

"No I'm not" she almost blushed, a compliment from Quinn was too much.

"You are to me" she couldn't imagine Rachel being too nice to everyone.

"That's because you're my best friend" she explained like it was obvious. "I want you to have a great night tonight"

Another question Quinn just needed to ask "Why?"

Rachel just furrowed her brow "What do you mean 'why'?"

"Why do you treat me so well?" she wanted Rachel to say it, now, with no alcohol in her system, if she still felt it anyway. She also hated to think this was all just guilt induced "Please don't let it be because of some unnecessary guilt-"

"No... no its really not" Rachel tried to assure her

"Because we've talked about this there is no need to feel guilty or blame-"

"Okay, it's okay" she looked to the blonde, worried at the ramble she'd started "This is not what anything tonight is about. I just wanted to treat you right because you're worth it"

"Am I?" now it was Quinn's turn to ask meekly

"You know you are"

"I really am going to have to make this up to you"

"Don't worry about it" Rachel waved it off

"No, I'm going to make up for it" Quinn was sure she could quite easily make it up to her. Why was it so easy to be more confident about things and possibly saying things when Rachel wasn't actually round? They both needed to just let their nerves go and enjoy themselves.

"How?" Rachel asked, intrigued when she saw Quinn's mind race

"Not completely sure yet, but I've got some ideas" she took a breadstick and gave into the hunger hiding under the nerves by eating it "You're right though, these are really good"

Rachel just smiled at Quinn's surprise that a breadstick could be anything other than boring. It was as surprising as Rachel often was.

.

Later into the meal and they'd definitely relaxed. Quinn's fingers danced on the table top hoping that Rachel's hand would be nearby at some point so they could hold hands, they did that a lot lately and Quinn still loved the simple contact. They talked lightly, flirted maybe, as their plates sat empty in front of them. Everything was perfect in the tranquil hum of the restaurant atmosphere. If only someone would answer the telephone ringing at the maitre d's desk.

As the conversation dulled for just a second Rachel pushed her seat back "I'll be right back" she excused herself before slipping away.

Quinn watched with intrigue at the mischievous tweak to Rachel's lips as the brunette wandered over to the phone. She saw the girl answer... then say something... and something else before she put the phone down and went back to her seat

"Sorry about that, but that guy kept ringing and no one was answering" she explained quickly

"What did you say?" Quinn chuckled. She was also surprised no one had noticed what Rachel had done in the first place.

"Oh the idiot wanted to book a reservation for tomorrow night" Rachel shook her head "He should know this place is booked 2 weeks in advanced"

Quinn narrowed her eyes and smirked while Rachel looked back at her confused, she didn't realise what she'd just given away "So you must have booked this the same day you asked me"

"Well... I just..." _'damn'_ she was stuck "Yeah, I did" she conceded and shrugged.

Quinn bit her lip to stop her grin, it was a date it had to be. She cleared her throat before she spoke, just in case "So did you tell him this place is booked 2 weeks in advance?" she asked almost mockingly.

Rachel laughed "Yeah right. No I said he and his party of 5 were booked in tomorrow night"

"Rachel" Quinn said her name lowly, almost scolding. But that was just how they were round each other.

"What?"

"You could get some people into trouble, like the restaurant" though it was refreshing the confident mischievous Rachel was making a few more appearances.

"One idiot isn't going to effect this place" the brunette assured her confidently

"I didn't mean you" she teased again, making Rachel the idiot in her statement "I meant the guy could complain"

"So, one complaint against all the good reviews" Rachel pointed out. It wouldn't effect anything, just the idiot on the other end of the phone line. She then looked at Quinn curiously "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Just you" Quinn smirked

"Do I have something on my face?" Rachel asked worried as she wiped at her face with her napkin. She knew she shouldn't have had the spaghetti.

"No... just... 'all the good reviews'? You really researched this place" she raised that eyebrow so perfectly.

"Well yeah... I wanted the best, and you like Italian, no big deal" she repeated all the points from earlier and tried to shrug it off again. But Quinn could still see right through her.

The blonde just smiled into her glass as she took a sip of her drink. It was a big deal to her

When the bill came Rachel snatched it away before Quinn could even think. She still thought they'd split the bill but Rachel wouldn't let her even see it. Maybe it was a date, Quinn wondered, maybe Rachel saw it how Quinn wanted to see this evening, they both felt it didn't they, Rachel wasn't that oblivious was she?

Once Rachel had paid she looked to the blonde lost in her thoughts opposite "Next stop, senior Prom" she announced prompting that it was time to leave.

Quinn had almost forgotten. The thing for the first two and a half years of high school she had been looking forward to, her crowning evening, and she had forgotten all about it, because she was here, having a pretty nice if partially awkward time.

.

When they got to school, an hour after the event had started, the disguised gym was buzzing with atmosphere. Rachel took Quinn over to the far side, away from the dance floor just so she didn't get walked into or lost in the crowds.

"Can I get you a drink?" she asked, nodding to the table in another corner of the room

"Um" she did suddenly have a very dry throat "Yes please, of you don't mind"

"Of course I don't mind" Rachel gave Quinn a little shoulder squeeze before leaving her behind temporarily.

Quinn wasn't alone long before she heard a familiar voice "Hey Q"

"Hey S" she greeted back. Even though they were up against each other as prom Queen tonight, there wasn't that bitchy snappy tension between them like there was the year before "I don't understand the decorations" she looked to her friend for help

"B came up with it... promasaurus or something" she shrugged, she didn't really get it either "Dinosaurs" not that there was much to get.

"Right" Quinn just nodded her confused approval, well she wasn't about to dis San's girl.

"So I saw you arrive with Berry" her eyes scanned out across the floor as she just stood next to the other girl "She's wearing a suit... so she's the guy"

"I've never seen her wear a skirt or a dress" Quinn noted "But there is no guy in this... whatever it is"

"You're not on a date then. You didn't ask?"

"No..." she said slowly and lowly but even over the music Santana heard, and also the way Quinn reacted with the head bowed was kind of a give away

"Chicken" Santana mumbled

"How long did it take you to ask Brittany?" Quinn said back slyly, the pair still not facing each other but just scanning the room, as if they owned it, like they used to.

"Fair enough..." she looked to the blonde, looking her up and down-ish to inspect her choice of attire "nice dress Q"

Quinn did the same "You don't look so bad yourself"

"Thanks" The raven haired girl nodded "...Good luck tonight"

"Oh right, yeah good luck to you too" another thing that kept straying from her mind, Prom Queen.

"Whatever" Santana used her usual tone, in a playful sort of way, as if they were revisiting the attitudes the year before. She then noticed Rachel closing back in, punch cup in hand "Here comes your girlfriend, see you around" she sauntered away to find Brittany on the dance floor somewhere "Nice suite Berry" she muttered as she walked off.

"Nice dress Lopez" Rachel called back after her. She then looked back to her prom date "You know it's not actually a suit, the pants don't match the jacket and-"

"It's fine Rach" Quinn chuckled "And for what it's worth you look great"

"Oh, thank you" her smile faltered, not sure what to do with that compliment "Oh here" she passed Quinn the cup in her hand, she then muttered "The punch has been spiked"

"No surprise there then" Quinn muttered back as she looked at the plastic cup in her hand. She then looked back to Rachel "Puck actually succeeded this year?"

"Yeah... I helped him" Rachel shrugged. Quinn wasn't the only one she wanted to please obviously. She then noticed that Quinn wasn't drinking "But I got you that cup before it was spiked" she wasn't stupid, Quinn might still be on medication for various things, like herself.

"Thanks" she was able to sip the overly sweet 'fruit' drink. She searched Rachel's own hands "You didn't get yourself one?"

"No. I'm up after Blaine anyway" she pointed to the stage. The entire glee club were able to attend even if they weren't in senior year or a date of a senior class member because they were the entertainment/band again.

"What are you going to sing?"

"Nothing interesting. Thought I'd go back to the music I was listening to when we first met" Rachel explained basically

"Something loud then?" Quinn asked, amused at Rachel's usual fake disinterest in performing.

"Maybe, just a little" she gestured with her fingers. Just then Blaine's voice and the music faded away "Looks like I'm up" she sighed deliberately before having to leave Quinn again.

Quinn wasn't really surprised when she saw Rachel climb onto stage and pick up an electric guitar. The girl who 'never prepared' sure was prepared to commit to a song.

She started playing, the band playing with her, before she quickly counted in and started singing, using one of her more manipulated voices. A couple of band members were actually set up

"_Stop making the eyes at me,__  
>I'll stop making the eyes at you.<br>What it is that surprises me is that I don't really want you to  
>And your shoulders are frozen" <em>

"_As cold as the night"_ One of the band members joined in to do the back ground parts.

"_Oh, but you're an explosion" _

"_You're dynamite"_

"_Your name isn't Rio, but I don't care for sand  
>Lighting the fuse might result in a bang b-b-bang-go"<em>

Rachel with an electric guitar... Rachel in a leather jacket playing the electric guitar. Rachel the bad girl. These images came to Quinn, she never even really thought about that before... that much. Her feeling had grown more from the care and affection Rachel had shown her. And the ability Rachel had to make her smile and laugh even when she was crying. But also the way Rachel had no fear, she didn't fear a slap in the face when she wanted to tell Quinn to snap out of it.

"_I said I bet that you look good on the dance floor  
>I don't know if you're looking for romance or...<em>_  
>Don't know what you're looking for<br>Well I bet that you look good on the dance floor  
>Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984<br>From 1984!"_

Every so often, well every time she wasn't looking at her fingers on the instrument she would find Quinn across the disguised gym. Those smoky gazes she received from the guitar playing stage mistress make new feelings grow within Quinn, not basic fuzzy affection but something closer to... lust. Now there was a single eyebrow raising thought.

"_I wish you'd stop ignoring me because you're sending me to despair,__  
>Without a sound yeah you're calling me and I don't think it's very fair<br>That your shoulders are frozen" _

"_As cold as the night" _

"_Oh, but you're an explosion" _

"_You're dynamite"_

"_Your name isn't Rio but I don't care for sand  
><em>_Lighting __the fuse might result in a bang b-b- bang-go"_

Quinn finally tour her eyes off Rachel long enough to note that the rest of the prom crowd were enjoying themselves, the majority dancing to the slightly rocky tune.

"_I said I bet that you look good on the dance floor  
>I don't know if you're looking for romance or...<em>_  
>Don't know what you're looking for<br>Well I bet that you look good on the dance floor  
>Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984<br>From 1984!__"_

"_Oh, there ain't no love, no Montagues or Capulets  
>Are just banging tunes and DJ sets and...<em>_  
>Dirty dance floors, and dreams of naughtiness!<em>_"_

Naughty dreams? No none of them yet, just teasing ones, like those ones so realistic that they get your heart racing and your palms sweating even though all the scenario in your head would lead to was that one first kiss. A kiss Quinn had wanted for longer than many would believe... probably including Rachel.

"_Well, __I said I bet that you look good on the dance floor  
>I don't know if you're looking for romance or...<em>_  
>Don't know what you're looking for<br>I said I bet that you look good on the dance floor  
>Dancing to electro-pop like a robot from 1984<br>From 1984!__"_

.

Quinn left at the end of Rachel's song, they'd be announcing Prom King and Queen soon so she wanted to check her makeup and stuff. She was confident enough to stand alone, especially as the sink was in front of her and her chair would be behind, her just in case she started feeling tired or ached. She got a better view in the mirror this way too.

She didn't hear someone open the door, she didn't notice them until they spoke "Oh my god" her head snapped to the doorway to find Finn staring at her "You liar" he accused, his words flying from his mouth before she could even register what was going on

"F-Finn?" she suddenly felt... exposed "what are you even doing here?" in the doorway tot eh girls bathroom

"I wanted to check on you, we're still kinda friends right" he just looked and sounded hurt in the doorway, as frozen as she was "Or at least I thought you were, but you're just a liar, I bet there was nothing wrong with you, or it wasn't half as bad as you made it out to be. You just want all the sympathy votes you can to finally win that damn crown. I knew you were obsessed but I didn't think you'd go this far!" he was outraged, he felt betrayed, and he just couldn't help his emotion fuelled words. Even if he hadn't been in the fore front since the incident, he still gave a damn.

"I can't believe you think that Finn. That would be a disgusting thing to do, do you really think that little of me?" she scoffed while that sickening feeling swirled in her stomach.

"You use people Quinn, that's what you do" the accusations just kept coming from the tall boy "You're probably using Rachel. I might not like her all the time but she's too damn nice to you, you know that?"

Was he even going to let her explain "Finn, you don't get it-"

"Leave now Finn or I'll tell everyone you like to perv on the girls in the bathrooms" the voice sounded from Finn's shadow. He stepped out the way to reveal Rachel. Quinn wanted to be relieved she'd come to the rescue... but what had she heard? Finn let out a frustrated sigh before leaving "You look amazing Quinn" Rachel commented from the doorway

"Rachel-" Quinn was going to explain, explain why she was standing alone without an arm round her, explain that she didn't tell Rachel in the first place.

"Santana's looking for you. Sylvester wants you both to count up the votes, something about it being the best way to make sure there's no cheating" Rachel added lightly

"Rachel-"

She just kept going though "I'll see you later, good luck. I voted for you by the way but you'd probably have already guessed that"

"Rachel-"

"You look great Quinn, better than great. I'll see you out there" she walked away, letting the door swing shut. Quinn just sighed... damn you Finn

.

It didn't take long to find Santana, she was in Sylvester's office counting up the votes as asked.

"There you are, finally making out with Berry?" she asked with her usual smirk

"No... just no" Quinn sighed as she wheeled herself over to the desk

"You okay?" for a moment Santana actually sounded concerned

"It's nothing, let count these" she sighed looking over the two piles on the desk. Santana was already going through one

"Well I'm counting the Prom Queen votes" no surprise there then "That's the guy's votes, you start on them, then we swap, and then when we're done we say what we got" Santana decided, and Quinn agreed that sounded fair.

Quinn just sighed again and got to work. There were hundreds of other things she wanted to be doing right now.

.

"You win by one vote" Santana said, half questioned. Quinn nodded in agreement, that's what she had counted too.

"And the Prom King, Finn by a landslide" The blonde said. A year ago that was a perfect result, the best she could hope for, all she ever wanted... and now...

"Congrats" Santana said with all the joy she could muster

"Thanks I guess" Quinn mumbled ash she got thinking

"Let's get this over with" The Latina headed for the door

But Quinn stopped her "San" who really cared about this popularity contest? Well many people obviously, but who didn't care anymore?

Her shoulders dropped and she turned around "It's okay Q, to only get beat by one vote to a girl in a wheelchair, that's not bad right?" she waved it off like she didn't care.

"I don't want it" Quinn told her quickly

"Don't lie Q, you always wanted this"

"I thought I did but things" the chair she was in, the girl she had fallen for... "Made me think about life differently" she wheeled closer to the other girl, as if to tell her a secret, she didn't need any more people over hearing any conversations this evening "Look only we know the truth about the vote, so we can just say who won" Santana looked at her disbelieving, surely Quinn didn't really want to give this up. She then admitted the grand finale to her plan tonight "I don't care about the crown and I really don't want the only dance I dance tonight to be with Finn"

"You're actually going to dance?" Santana quirked an eyebrow

"Yeah... I think I can handle one and I want it to be with Rachel" she admitted

Okay so that was kind of sweet not that Santana would admit it, but there's was something conditional about being Prom Queen "That's nice and all Q but I don't want to take the bullet and dance with Finn"

"Well then we just say Brittany won" she was up for the vote anyway, because she was confident and she wanted to make a difference.

Santana paused in movement... that was one interesting idea "Do you think they'll believe it?"

"Do you think anyone will really care" Quinn shrugged "I mean Figgins read Kurt out as Prom Queen last year, not thinking of the humiliation he'd be put through. It's up to you" Quinn ultimately decided.

.

Rachel was hovering at the back of the gym when Figgins walked onto the stage. Finn kept glancing at her, as if he wanted to say something, probably about what he saw, or they saw, in the bathroom but he didn't know about all the physio Quinn had gone through, he was just misinformed was all. Quinn didn't want to share everything with everyone... the truth was she didn't like the attention

Rachel's attention was back on the stage when she saw the Prom Queen candidates gather. The Prom King candidates were then called up and Finn was walking further away so Rachel could relax. One awkward moment avoided this evening.

"Girls and boys" The Principles voice droned from the speakers "It is now time to announce this year's Prom King and Queen for the senior class"

"Oh god" Rachel groaned lowly, much more of his voice and she'd be asleep

"And this years prom King is..." and yes he even used an unnecessary pause "Brittany Pierce?"

Rachel chuckled lightly, that was unexpected, but none of the other guys looked that bothered up there on stage when Brittany squealed and accepted the crown.

"And this years Prom Queen is..." Rachel wondered how Quinn would feel about dancing with a girl, if she would dance at all once she had won. Quinn probably wouldn't dance though, Rachel assumed. "Santana Lopez" Wait what? No one was really shocked as Santana smoothly accepted her crown, Rachel was surprised though... and even more when Quinn didn't look at all disappointed.

The music started for the King and Queen dance. Santana never looked so shy in her life as she took the hand Brittany offered and was dragged off stage to the middle of the dance floor to bask in the spot light.

Everyone else up for nomination dissipated from the stage not exactly feeling bitter. When Quinn got back to Rachel other people were joining Santana and Brittany for a slow dance.

"I was so sure you'd win" Rachel furrowed her brow

"I did, and so did Finn but I really didn't want to dance with him" Quinn explained. Hey just because she didn't get the crown didn't mean she couldn't let Rachel know the truth. It's not like she'd pass on the secret anyway.

"You could just dance with anyone, if you're Prom Queen it's your choice right"

"Yeah, and I have chosen, I chose to try and make a difference. They shouldn't hide who they are or how they feel" she watched the happy couple in the middle of the dance floor, enjoying their uninterrupted moment. she then looked back to the other girl "And I just really don't care about that damn crown anymore"

"Well it was really nice of you, they look really happy"

"Rach, about what you saw in the girls bathroom" finally a chance to explain "I'm sorry-"

"Why are you sorry?" Rachel cut her off anyway "Finn started on you, you didn't do anything wrong"

"No, I'm just sorry you saw me" she finally confessed then sighed, deflated.

Rachel furrowed her brow then laughed lightly "The progress you've made is astounding Quinn, I'm so... honoured that you let me be there for you in recent physio sessions. And I know I missed the last few because they conflicted with my own various appointments" like doctors checkups and her own counselling meetings with Dr Lewis "I'm not hurt that you didn't tell me you could do it all by yourself" and she was kind of confused as to why Quinn encouraged her to hold her so closely when Judy wanted a photo earlier when Quinn didn't seem to need it "but whatever It's your business"

"I guess, but that's not why I'm sorry. I'm sorry you saw because it was supposed to be a surprise. I was kinda annoyed with my mom too, I thought that might have ruined the surprise but I didn't want another photo... with me in the chair. I wanted it all to be a surprise" she sets the handbrake, then reached out for Rachel's hands. Rachel silently understood, she took Quinn's hands and stepped back to help Quinn stand "Can I have this dance?"

"Y-you wanna dance with me?" okay that wasn't quite what she thought Quinn wanted, she imagined she wanted to find another dance partner, a male dance partner and she just wanted Rachel's help standing, not this.

"Yeah, I really do" Quinn grasped Rachel's hand so she couldn't get away and led her back toward the dance floor, she then placed Rachel's hand on her waist as the brunette did the same with her other. Quinn placed her hands on Rachel's shoulders.

"I might need you to help me" she murmured as they began to sway

"Huh?" Rachel half asked, she was too busy entranced by the moment to really hear what was going on.

"Just in case I start to feel tired, you should hold me a little closer, to help keep me up right" Quinn mischievously suggested

"N-no problem" Rachel stuttered. They then repositioned, they get closer, not completely flush against one another but just closer.

Rachel was so nervous and giddy, she was slow dancing with Quinn. Sure they had danced together before, but that was night club dancing, and sure maybe some grinding had been involved but they'd both been drunk, or at least Quinn had been, Rachel never pushed Quinn though, never took advantage like she might have with other girls. Anyway, here she was with Quinn, dancing again, but different. Never in a million years did she think she'd be here, with Quinn at a senior prom. A prom she never planned on going to, with her hands on Quinn's waist and the blondes hands on her shoulders, Quinn's fingers brushing the back of her neck, under her hair.

'_No'_ Rachel thought to herself _'Its senior prom and Quinn just wants to dance. She trusts you to not hurt her or let her down, literally. She just wants your friendly support, don't over think this'_

Quinn wrapped her arms further round Rachel's neck so she could lean in close, brushing her cheek against Rachel's, Rachel's loose hair tickling the side of her face and neck as she inhaled deep, relaxing and taking in the moment... here with Rachel. She tingled when she felt Rachel move the hand on her waist to the small of her back, bringing them completely flush together.

This was the moment when Quinn was 100% sure. She had absolutely no doubt in her mind that she had feelings for Rachel, feeling like no other she'd had before.

.

Soon it was time to head home, many teen couples headed off to wherever to fulfil Prom night cliché's while Rachel took Quinn home. Half way across the school parking lot and she saw Quinn shiver, even though it had been warmer earlier the cold of the night had finally settled in. Rachel immediately stopped pushing the chair

"Rachel wha-" she stopped speaking as she looked back over her shoulder to see Rachel removing her jacket. She then slipped it over Quinn's shoulders "Rach, I don't need your jacket" though she appreciated the warmth and appreciated the gesture even more

"Please Quinn, I saw that shiver" Rachel said with playful accusation as she started to push the wheel chair again towards her car "And I'm wearing a long sleeve sweater, I really don't need it"

A "Thank you" was muttered shyly as Quinn hugged the jacket round her.

.

When they pulled up outside Quinn's she immediately made a request "I'd like you to walk me to the door" Maybe this hadn't been how her plan unfolded, maybe everything was happening a little earlier than it was supposed to but Quinn had waited long enough and Rachel had waited even longer.

"Sure, I was going to help you with your chair anyway" Rachel shrugged as she unbuckled her seatbelt

"No, Rach" she said softly getting the brunette to look at her with worry "I want you to walk me" she made her request clear

"Okay" Rachel nodded, figuring Quinn wanted a complete night, and to finish it with showing Judy she was still standing, who was sure to be waiting with that many lights still on in the house, and show that she had confidence back as well as the ability to walk. "Just... do me a favour and hold on a second"

"Okay" Quinn agreed but was obviously puzzled. She watched Rachel get out the car, slam the door behind her and then rush round to open Quinn's door before she got impatient and did it herself. Quinn just laughed, the best music that had rang in Rachel's ears all night.

Rachel silently offered Quinn her hand which the blonde happily accepted. She let Rachel's jacket slide off her shoulders down onto the car seat as she got out. She didn't let Rachel's hand free from her own as they walked up the path to the house and up the steps, in comfortable silence. In front of the front door they turned to one another, their hands casually separating, both girls silently missing the simply contact.

"Thank you for tonight" Quinn started as she also started to almost nervously sway.

"I didn't do anything, I should thank you for letting me escort you" Rachel replied as she nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear

"I had a really great time"

"Me too, and I got to dance with the prom Queen" there was a mischievous smirk to that little comment

Quinn shook her head "Santana was prom Queen" she reminded

"You won it though, you just gave it to her, which was sweet" Rachel conceded that much, seeing Santana and Brittany was sweet, and giving up something Rachel secretly thought was just a stupid popularity contest anyway, well that was kinda sweet of Quinn, who could be so sweet when she wanted to be "So I still got to dance with the prom Queen"

Quinn just nodded as she searched her mind for more words to get Rachel to stay with her a few minutes longer "Thank you... for dancing with me" the blonde added when she wasn't sure she was being clear

"It was my pleasure" Rachel smiled nervously. She wasn't even sure why she was nervous "So... I'll just get your Chair"

Rachel turned to walk away but she didn't get far. Quinn couldn't let the opportunities to keep passing them by, so she grabbed Rachel by the sleeve on her bicep and yanked her back. And there they suddenly were, close, very close. Then nothing, Rachel furrowed her brow waiting for Quinn to say something, and then she realised how close Quinn's lips were to her own, their choice on foot wear helping them match height a little better. She glanced up to Quinn's eyes, her own tongue darted out to wet her lips, almost subconsciously, and then suddenly Quinn just closed that little gap, she leant forward and clumsily captured Rachel's top lip between her own.

Rachel instantly froze, eyes widening before she gave in and let them drift shut. She leant into the kiss, melting at the sensation of Quinn's lips pressed against her own. She slipped an arm round Quinn's back as she felt one shy hand clasp her shoulder. The brunette tilted her head as they began to clumsily nibble kiss at one another's lips. She leant closer to Quinn, bringing their bodies flush against one another like when they were dancing, and that's when it hit the punk what she was doing. She pulled away, nearly pulling Quinn, who didn't want to stop, with her.

She looked to the side, she could hear and feel Quinn's gasping breath against her cheek as they were still clothed body to body "I gotta go" she breathed before releasing her arm from around Quinn and tearing herself away, down the pathway back to her car.

Quinn could only watched, confused, hurt, and stunned that Rachel was running. She watched the girl climb in her car and start the engine. She drove it forward barely 3 feet before she stopped again and climbed out. She opened the back door and pulled something out. Quinn waited and watched as Rachel wheeled her wheel chair up the path, up the ramp and left it next to Quinn "Sorry" she muttered. She then rang the doorbell, and took of again, back to the car and successfully leaving this time. She drove to the end of the road then disappeared round the corner. Which only confused Quinn even further as Rachel's house was nicely situated next to her own.

In the car the brunette was matchingly confused by her own actions "You idiot, how could you leave Quinn like that" she scolded herself for being so selfish... and then the pure disappointment in herself kicked in "You're running, why the heck are you running? She kissed you, you idiot! Where are you going?" she asked herself out loud "Oh damn" she wanted to slam her head against the steering wheel.

Back at the front door to the Fabray residence Judy opened the door. Her daughter stood with her back to her and the chair next to her "Quinn?" she reached out and placed a hand on Quinn's shoulder. The girl sharply turned round and the image Broke Judy's heart.

Tears streamed down her daughters face "I thought she liked me" Quinn sobbed as she leant into her mother's embrace.

Judy hushed her as she led her back into the house "It's okay Quinn" she told her "It will all be okay" but then again, what did Judy know? Not much, just how to try and comfort a heart broken girl.

* * *

><p><strong>Let me know what you think... I think...<strong>

**Just a little insignificant point. I haven't actually seen the senior prom episode, but I remember reading what happened in it vaguely. So any similarities are deliberate but not in any detail for the reason thate I have no idea what I'm really talking about... which applies to the rest of my life too lately :S**

**Oh yeah and the song was Arctic Monkeys, I bet That You Look Good On The Dance Floor**

**Anywho sorry for the further AN's :/**


	22. There Is A Light

**Thanks for reviewing: mika-faberryluver4395, Fabamf, xtreme12, Harley Quinn Davisdon, Guest, FaberrittanaLover94, dgronison, piecesofyourheart, Guest, Musicfutbolfan6, Guest, NZgleek91, Kaioo, Kutee, agirl00z, BrittanaFan41, Guest, LoveSKINS94, wagner710, Faith, Ilianalovee, tellingtouch, Guest, writting is love, DameonCain and Guest **(Maybe again. Unless there's two of you who love to use the word continue a lot :S)

**Posted: 19/9/13**

* * *

><p><span>There's a light<span>

"No... no it's okay San, I just needed someone to talk to..." Quinn muttered into her cell phone, her voice was rough her eyes were tired, she'd managed to stop crying about 20 minutes after she called her friend for some comfort "Yeah... sorry I bugged you and Britt again" she cringed, remembering the way Santana had ranted at her down the phone and how she'd just burst into tears because she couldn't control her emotions right now "I'll be fine... yeah I will, see you Monday" she muttered before she disconnected the call and dropped her phone onto her bed next to her. She then leant back laying down but propped up a little too as she sighed to herself, her prom dress hung on a hanger on the outside of her closet door. Every time she looked at it she felt her heart drop a little further down, into her stomach.

It had been a rough night sleep, her mother had had to encourage her to get changed out of the dress in the first place. She couldn't even be bothered to get up and dressed, she just stayed in her pyjamas. Why had Rachel run? Quinn though Rachel liked her, really liked her. They'd shared a wonderful night ,considering everything it was the better than Quinn had hoped for, Rachel had made the evening feel so special, they'd even danced together, so why had it gone so wrong when Quinn had taken that brave step and kissed Rachel, liked she'd wanted to for months.

She couldn't look at the dress any longer, she rolled over only for her eyes to land on the wrist corsage Rachel had got her, and the confusion only increased. You don't buy corsages for friends... well Quinn hadn't or she would have got Rachel something, but there it was the flowers Rachel had got her, a miniature arrangement on an elasticised pearl style wrist band.

She reached out and picked it up. She ran her thumb over the delicate leaves that had been woven like a ribbon and looked over the fluted white flowers. _"Arum, the flower... if you were wondering"_she heard Rachel's fumbled words from the night before replay in her head. She stared at it and thought... and thought about how much thought Rachel might have put into it, and the fact Rachel wanted her to know what the flower was... and wasn't there some old fashion language of flowers that people liked to reference sometimes when they were shyly trying to make a comment, or send a message.

Quinn's curiosity and want of finding a distraction for a few seconds made her reach over to her bed side table and pull her laptop out. She switched it on and impatiently drummed her fingers next to the mouse pad as she waited for it to load. Eventually she was on the internet finding some online guides on the language of flowers.

She scrolled down the first page looking for the Rachel said "Apple Blossom, Arbutus, Arum" that was easy enough. But next to the flower name was one word... 'Ardour'. Quinn furrowed her brow, of course she had a rough idea of the meaning of the word but she wasn't overly familiar. So she looked it up, and quickly found several meanings given to her.

_Ardour:  
>1. Great warmth of feeling; fervour; passion.<br>2. Intense devotion, eagerness, or enthusiasm  
>3. Burning heat<em>

She smiled, a warm smile. Rachel may have often been a bad girl, starting fights, smoking and drinking on school grounds, going to night clubs armed with a fake ID and a fist in case anyone looked at her funny... but Rachel planned things, like the restaurant last night. She meant it right? It wasn't just a flower, there were hundreds of flowers, hundreds of cliché prom corsage flowers... but this was Rachel.

A light knocking on the door and then it opening disturbed Quinn from her new assessment on the meanings of last night. She looked up to find Judy smiling at her shyly "Hey Sweetie, how are you feeling?"

"She does still care" Quinn squeaked uncontrollably as she managed a wide truthful, wishing you could prevent it, smile.

"What's that honey?" Judy asked as she wandered further into the room towards Quinn, she then sat on the edge of the bed.

"Rachel... she does still care" her smile then faltered and faded. She looked away from her laptop and above the screen to her mom "so why did she run?"

"I'm not sure Quinn. I think you'll have to ask her" Judy said meekly.

"She... she won't answer her phone" she'd already tried calling her three times, but she didn't answer. If Rachel would just speak to her, just let her know what she did wrong. If Rachel had changed her mind, or moved on, that was fine. Well it wasn't fine, it would be heart wrenchingly horrible, but after all her hesitance maybe she deserved it, she waited too long and Rachel moved on... maybe.

"Do you want me to go round with you?" Judy suggested.

"No..." Quinn ducked and shook her head "she obviously doesn't want to talk to me, I don't want to push her" she hated her own words, because she did want to push Rachel she wanted an explanation but she was afraid, afraid of rejection... the same rejection Rachel had been feeling from Quinn for months.

"Quinn" Judy sighed and shuffled up the bed to sit next to Quinn properly, she wrapped an arm around her. She saw what Quinn was looking at on the internet, on an online dictionary. The words on the screen she knew that's what Rachel had been feeling for her daughter, Leroy had told her just how nuts Rachel was for Quinn, maybe not all the details but some. "We'll figure this out" she breathed as she felt Quinn deflate against her, she couldn't have her daughter hurt like this, not after everything she'd been through.

...

Meanwhile in the neighbouring house, someone was about to get an unwelcome visitor.

Rachel was violently woken when her bed covers were ripped away from her "What the hell is your problem Berry?" Santana's words _almost_ faltered when she found Rachel nearly hanging off the edge of her bed, while the dog she was laying back to back with was stretched out enjoying the rest of the space on the bed.

"The light it Burns" the short brunette yelped dramatically as she blindly reached for the edge of the sheet, once she found it she pulled it back over, all the way over her head and Raven, to cocoon them both inside.

"Nuh-uh Berry, you're not hiding" Santana pulled the sheet away again, letting it fall on the floor out of Rachel's reach. She then just stood there, hands on her hips, glaring down at the girl. Rachel just rolled onto her back and propped herself up on both her elbows, while Raven seemed to actually cower next to her.

"Consider yourself lucky, that I remembered to wear pyjamas last night, Lopez" the shorter girl said as she looked Santana up and down.

"I'd be worried if you weren't and were still sharing the bed with the dog" Santana screwed up her face "Didn't think you were that kind of freak"

"_Last night I dreamt, that somebody loved me, no hope no harm, just another false alarm"_ Rachel rolled her eyes and reached over to her bedside table to her cell phone

"What the hell is that?" Santana snapped irritated.

"_Last night I felt real arms around me"_ she finally switched the alarm off and that's when she noticed she had 3 missed calls from Quinn... she didn't even hear it ring.

"Sorry it's my phone, my alarm" she muttered as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, to finally get up. Why hadn't she heard Quinn call her? The phone sound settings evidently weren't switched off... maybe the phone hadn't rung long enough for her to hear it.

"Really cheery song Berry" Santana just mocked

"It grounds me" Rachel snapped back at her as she pushed her way past the intruder and went to her closet to find clothes

"Drama queen" Santana mumbled, then she remembered the damn reason she had raced over here. She yanked the door of the closet open wider, before Rachel could get dressed hidden behind it, and really snapped at her "What is your problem Berry?"

She lazily looked back over her shoulder "I don't know Lopez, what have I done now?"

"You upset Quinn!" she raised her voice trying to make sure the message went through, Rachel was just pissing her off, it was as if she didn't give a shit.

"Wha-" she furrowed her brow, was Quinn upset? Upset enough to tell Santana? "... she spoke to you?"

"Yeah, she spent about 2 hours on the phone to me this morning in tears" Santana had to do this, Quinn was strong, she knew her as strong, she'd never known her to break down like that and even if Quinn had she never talked to anyone about it, she suffered in silence instead.

"Tears?" Rachel almost tilted her head like a dog with her curiosity. That didn't make sense, she couldn't understand why Quinn would be upset, she then wondered, with guilt, that maybe she'd read too much into it, Quinn had been the one to kiss her right. _"Oh god, what if I forced myself on her"_ she tried to think back but she was sure it was Quinn who'd made the move...

"Yeah! She puts herself out there and you just take off" suddenly Rachel felt small as Santana loomed over her as she closed in and poked her in the shoulder. Any relief from knowing she hadn't forced herself on the other girl was quickly vaporised. "I thought you wanted to be with her, I thought she meant something to you, not just one of your sluts to call up when you felt like it!"

"Hey!" Rachel snapped, she had nothing but respect for Quinn. "How dare you! You know I care about Quinn" if anyone knew or understood this it might be Santana, which is something neither girl had imagined when they first met one another "You know I want to be with her, I want her so much it hurts, what I don't want is to be part of some act, some perfect prom night fantasy, just to make her feel complete. I don't want to be part of some game" and there it was... why she ran. She didn't want to play a part in Quinn's perfect prom fantasy. Yes she took her to dinner but a kiss, a kiss that Rachel believed meant way less to Quinn than it did to her. So she couldn't fall for it, it would only hurt her more

"Are you even listening to yourself!" Santana wanted to shake her. It was as if she could feel Quinn's own pain and humiliation as she tried to get through to this damn punk "Okay, fine, sure Q plays games, but she has never messed with you, not like that. She talks to you she listens to you, and she fell for you too Berry, though god knows why"

"... She what?" the words just fell from her mouth uncontrollably as her eyes widened. She couldn't even think properly, Quinn couldn't have fallen for her, this was a joke, or a dream, it had to be. How could Quinn have fallen for her? Santana had to be lying

"Yeah, she told me on-" The Latina decided the timing wasn't important, especially when thinking about the terrible thing that happened that same day "... she just told me how she feels..." she said softly, and then her anger returned, blinding any pity "And all I know is I'm pissed at you for getting her to interrupt my time with Britt and I'm pissed at you for hurting Quinn, when you were the best thing in her life"

"I'm no good for her, I'm just a screw up!" Rachel yelled right back

"Yeah you are Berry, you're a screw up" Santana agreed bluntly. She then sighed and her shoulders dropped, the tension softened "But you're good for her and she wants you, her mom even approves of you" she then scoffed and backed away "And you're just sleeping it all off over here, like what she did last night was no big deal"

"It was a big deal!" Rachel said, exasperated.

"But you just ran off. Look Q has been through a lot, and I know I haven't been there for her all the time, but you can't mess with her Berry, I won't let you" she growled her warning before she swiftly made her exit, she couldn't be near Rachel right now. The situation was too confusing, and Rachel was just frustrating her.

Rachel was left in her room confused and enlightened... but mostly confused

...

"Dad!" at the sound of his daughter yelling Leroy was out of his seat and rushing to the garage where the sound had come from.

"Rachel what on earth..." he managed to breath in relief when he realised Rachel wasn't in trouble, she was just causing it. She had the main garage door open, probably to let more light in, and was moving boxes, reading the labels on all of them. They still hadn't managed to unpack all their things despite moving in over 9 months ago.

Her head appeared from behind a stack of boxes "Have you seen my acoustic guitar?"

He pointed to a box he could see in the far corner "It's in that big box you labelled 'Rachel's shit'"

"Oh right thanks" she smiled before hopping over some of their belongings to get to the box he'd pointed out with the clumsily written label.

"What's got into you?" he furrowed his brow. He knew her, she was busying herself. He pushed his way through the jumble of their belongings to get to him. he did realise it was stupid that even with the size of the house they had they hadn't managed to find a place for all their things. He got to her before she could get buried under boxes "You wouldn't speak to me when you got in last night, and then that Santana came round. Did you upset her or did she upset you? Or did something else happen, because I'm lost here Rachel"

She paused cutting the tape on the box with a pocket lock knife and cautiously looked right at Leroy "Quinn kissed me" she said quickly before going back to the box and finished cutting the tape so she could get at her belongings inside.

"She did?" Leroy perked up "That's good... isn't it?" he asked cautiously

"Quinn likes boys" Rachel sighed as she pulled some things out of the box and looked like she was deciding to keep them out too, and she hadn't even found what she was looking for yet "she told me, many times she likes boys. So why was she kissing me? That's all I could think last night and so I ran-"

"You left her?" he asked in complete shock.

She abandoned the box to explain herself "I was scared, confused!"

"Well yes but you don't have to run away when ever that happens" he pointed out, feeling some disappointment in her and for her

"But..." she bowed her head as she felt the tears sting her eyes "things aren't supposed to happen like this" Rachel squeaked, not meaning to, it just kinda happened.

Leroy ducked his head to try and meet her eyes "What do you mean?" he then reached out and gently grasped her shoulder to get her attention

"Santana told me Quinn likes me back" she sniffed "But that's not what's supposed to happen, she's supposed to go to college and I'm supposed to try and forget about her"

"Oh Rach" he sighed, she didn't need to give up all the time, he pulled her in roughly for a smothering hug.

"She can't like me back" Rachel just squeezed back as she tried to hold back more pathetic tears "She can't"

"Why can't she?" he asked in hushed tones

"... She just can't" it wouldn't last, Rachel just knew that. If she got Quinn, it would be over too soon, when she left or even sooner than that when she realised Rachel wasn't enough.

"Why are you looking for your guitar?" he pulled back a little so he could see her properly.

"... I was going to vent... like old times" she pulled her arms away from him and stepped back, returning slowly to her planned distraction she had been looking for a moment ago.

"Have you thought about just talking to her?" Leroy dumbly suggested, someone in the back of his head told him he was being stupid suggesting that.

"I don't know what to say... I'd probably just screwed everything up now anyway" Rachel tried to sound even more dismissive than she felt. She was a screw up, she'd put Quinn's life in danger, she'd been irresponsible, she'd turned the glee club upside down and yeah maybe that one had been a good thing, but it had caused more rifts than the club had suffered before she showed up. And if she managed to hurt Quinn, even if she didn't mean to then she'd have Santana to answer to... and she just couldn't deal with that right now, not with her heart trying to escape her chest and climb up to her shoulder so it could slap her round the back of the head for being so stupid all the damn time.

"Rach-"

"Found it!" she announced loudly, cutting him off before he could even try and reason with what was going on in her head.

Leroy watched as she unzipped the case and pulled out the cherry burst cutaway acoustic guitar "You know... if you're finding it hard to talk, maybe the old you could make a little appearance" he suggested lightly.

"Dad, no... that's stupid, singing isn't going to help. I was just going to... tire myself out" she quickly explained as she started plucking the strings and seeing how out of tune it was "I'll do this later" she just wanted to be alone right now.

"Fine" he sighed reluctantly. Old Rachel would have done what she wanted to do, she wouldn't have thought about everyone else too much... maybe it was a good thing she'd changed but even Leroy wished she could find some of her old self and bring it back just to get the courage to march next door and talk to the poor girl she'd abandoned last night. "Rach" he groaned when he saw her heading for the door "Are you just going to leave this stuff here?"

"Oh right" she returned to the open box and the items she'd pulled out. She folded the box flaps back, sealing the items back inside. She then picked up her re-cased guitar and the other oddities and weaved between the boxes to the opening of the garage and then to her car, she grabbed her key which just happened to be in her pocket, unlocked the car and opened up the back so she could dumb all the stuff in the trunk. With that she closed trunk, locked the car and went back inside. She noticed Leroy giving her the strangest look "I couldn't be bothered to take it all upstairs, or organise it back into that box" she shrugged "At least its tidy now" there was a logic to her strangeness.

She then went back into the house, to find something that took even less effort to distract herself.

When Leroy shut the garage and ventured back into the main house too he found her in the kitchen sipping coffee. He didn't really want her to vent in her room anyway, he wanted her to deal with this, he'd push if he had to... so he did "So how was it?" he asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee too.

"How was what?" she asked between sips.

"The kiss" he said like it was obvious.

She choked right into the cup, sending coffee up and over her face and all down the sides of the cup. Once she'd stopped coughing and wiped her face on the back of her hand "Eww dad" he handed her a tissue to clean herself and the kitchen side up with, although Raven was doing a pretty good job at her feet cleaning up the floor.

"I just meant, was it everything you wanted it to be" he smirked at her.

Rachel leant back against the counter as she revisited it in her head "... She caught me off guard..." a smile slowly formed on her lips "I don't know... it was clumsy and more like many short kisses than just one and... so sweet and delicate like her and..." she sighed, as if to ease the swelling in her chest "oh god, dad, I'm in love with her"

"I know you are" he chuckled "So what are you doing to do about it?"

She shook her head "I-I don't know"

...

By Monday morning she still didn't know what to do. She just stared into her locker as if it was an abyss. The chatter from the hallways round her deaf to her, the pressure of finals and nationals lost to her. Quinn liked her, she should have been dancing on the moon, but she couldn't... because Quinn just couldn't... could she?

.

Quinn was still in her chair that Monday morning, she wasn't quite ready to go a whole day without it, not really a whole hour just yet, not confidently anyway.

An emergency glee club meeting had been set up the previous week for the current Monday morning, first thing seeing as most of them could supposedly spare the time. She rounded a corner in the hallway when all the crappy feeling she had been feeling since Friday had ended flooded back to her. There she was, the girl she had feelings for, just at her locker getting on with life. Quinn had had to get a lift from Judy this morning too as she hadn't heard from Rachel

Anger fizzled over any other feeling she had for the girl, she'd put herself out there, feeling confident that it could only end well only to be left confused and heartbroken. She started to wheel closer, and closer. She started to pick up some speed as she closed in on the unaware punk. She didn't slow down she just kept going, seeing red as she tried not to pout and cry too. She came to a sudden stop when she jammed a wheel right against her calf

The brunette yelped and clutched at her leg, she started swearing before she even turned round "Holy shit, what the fu- Quinn" she faltered when she saw the bright hazel eyed girl staring up at her. She could tell the blonde was trying to glare but it was looking more like a stern pout. "You're still using your chair?"

"What do you care, you left me standing on my front porch!" okay so Quinn was going straight for verbal assault. Rachel quickly found herself trapped between her open locker and the girl she had feelings for in the wheel chair.

Rachel also noticed how the corridor and quietened and slowed down as people watched "I rang the door bell so your mom would find you" she said lowly, not wanting everyone to know their business, for Quinn's sake "What do you care if I care?"

"I thought we could make it a date!" she yelled, infuriated that she hadn't said it before and that Rachel hadn't seen it. the corridor round them stilled even more and people started murmuring. Neither noticed though, Quinn was waiting for Rachel to say anything and Rachel was processing what she'd just heard, Quinn had said it, not Santana, not her own head, Quinn had said date.

"What?" that was all her rambling thoughts could come up with.

"In my head it was a date" Quinn's shoulders dropped as she deflated "and when you took me to dinner everything started feeling like a date. Then we talked, I thought we flirted, we danced, you even gave me your jacket, and then you walked me to my door and it felt like a perfect cliché. Maybe I'm stupid but I thought you were feeling the same, I thought you realised it could be a date, a real one" her eyes were brimming with tears "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you!" Rachel yelped to assure Quinn. The brunette quickly gave up on the idea of being quite seeing as Quinn wasn't backing down and didn't seem to care who was watching "Why would you think there is?" she asked

"Because you didn't feel it" Quinn accused, Rachel went to speak but she stopped her "You didn't" she accused more forcefully "But when we've gone out and you draw some random girl in and she kisses you, you just go with it, you're all over her, you don't run-"

Rachel's eyes widened "Because they are nothing, they mean nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to you" she said, with a rough defiance that broke her voice, showing her vulnerability "And for what it's worth I did feel it, I just didn't think you did. I mean why would you? You're you. Have you met you?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes in confusion "What does that even mean?"

"You're Quinn Fabray!" wasn't it obvious, it sure was to Rachel "This stunning amazing girl who I have feelings for" Quinn felt a ripple of excitement in her chest at Rachel's sober confession "so why would you feel anything back for me, why would life work out so great like that, especially when you are so..." she trailed off when she realised she couldn't find the right word, Quinn was perfection to her, but that word didn't do its duty, it wasn't enough "How, w-when? When could you even think... think that you might like me?" she stuttered out her question, still not believing it was true.

"When we were planning sectionals" the blonde girl chocked out, afraid of her confession. She just saw Rachel's eyes widen again "Yeah that long ago" she answered the silent question "When we... when we found ourselves in that awkward position on your bed and..." she felt another tingle of excitement before the hesitance settled back in "I wanted you to kiss me, I didn't even know I wanted it until that moment" her voice had softened, she'd ducked her head but then the humiliation she felt the previous Friday night came back to her "I thought I was giving you all the right signs but no, you didn't do anything you just left me thinking there was something wrong with me" she scoffed, there had to be right? For Rachel to just run like that. "And then the other night, we finally kiss and... you run. So what is it? Is it because I'm a bitch, is it because I'm selfish, is it because you can't imagine a future with me? What is it?"

"A future with you!?" Rachel was sure she was about to have a heart attack at all these confessions, a future, that wasn't even in the furthest depths of her imagination... but still "I'd sell my soul for that!" She felt tears sting her eyes "When we first met I'll admit I was cocky, and a jerk because I saw a hot girl and that was it. But then I got to know you and I saw a vulnerability a-and I wasn't just crushing on you anymore" she admitted "I wanted to wrap you up in my arms and look after you. You're not a bitch... and okay you can be selfish at times but who isn't" she asked rhetorically and riskily truthful "... Anyway why would I take advantage of you when I know you're straight? You tell me all the time, you like boys; you're not like me, or Santana. And I care about you Quinn, so damn much that I'm not going to take advantage of you"

"But if all that is true... If you care about me why run. I initiated that kiss but you were the one who pulled away. Why did you run if you still care..? I thought you _like_ liked me" she said the last part quietly, afraid it just wasn't true anymore, despite what they'd already been said.

"Quinn, you know how I feel, that's never changed" Rachel squeaked her defence. She then managed to clear her throat to correct herself "Well it has, but its only grown from a crush to... so much more. I just don't want... I don't know how you feel, how you really feel. I didn't want to read into it, what if you just wanted that one kiss to finish off your Prom night so perfectly" she admitted her own fear and suspicion.

"It wasn't that, I wanted it, I wanted more than that. It wasn't for some cliché of a perfect night, I wanted to dance with you. I'd worked so hard to make sure I could dance that night, even if it was just one because I wanted to dance with you, and not like we did in those clubs, but a slow, intimate dance, like we did" and it had been only one of the highlights of the night for Quinn. And now Rachel's heart was in over drive, aching in her chest, Quinn had done that, worked extra hard in physio just so she could dance with her "Didn't you think for one moment that when I kissed you it might have meant more than an ending?"

"For a split second, maybe, but I didn't want to get my hopes up... I care about you too much and even if we... I-I'm scared" she really stuttered, she look as if she would start trembling nervously any moment "I'm scared to have you and then you leave, I'm scared that _if_ this could happen, _if_ we could really start this you'll realise I'm not enough for you and that I'm not really what you want"

"I think by now I know what I want, I've thought about this for too long" Serious Quinn was back, tears gone, staring up at Rachel, a serious softness to her eyes and nothing else giving anything else away "And I've had a lot of alone time sat next to a girl in a hospital bed, to think about this, to check what I already thought I knew I wanted, and I did, I do. And I promised myself if you woke up I wouldn't screw this up"

"But Quinn-"

"No Rach, I want this, I really do" she cut the girl off to say that in her most convincing voice "I know I don't even deserve you, but right now I'm selfish enough to tell you I want this, I want you" she knew there was times she could have been a deter friend, but she was looking for more than that now "It shouldn't have taken nearly losing you to give me the courage to make the move but it did, and you're alive and so am I... so what's next?"

Rachel didn't know how to answer that, on one side there was what she wanted, but on the other she had fear, fear it wouldn't last and she'd be left more heart broken.

Luckily, or maybe unluckily, the school bell rang obnoxiously above them before Rachel could even attempt her answer.

"I'm going to glee" Quinn told her "maybe I'll see you there, or maybe you'll need to think so you know what going on in _your_ head" she then wheeled away, leaving Rachel with words similar to ones she'd forced on Quinn months and months ago, about sorting out what was going on in her head before she did something stupid.

Rachel let her go, watched her disappear between the throngs of people all heading off to their own classes. She debated even going to the meeting, or just heading home to hide in her room with her head full of thoughts...

...

When she made her mind up and got to glee club she found most of the rest of the group already there, she saw Quinn on the front row, Brittany and Santana sat either side of there. The glare she got from Santana she took as a warning, thought specifically what the warning was for she wasn't sure. It seemed Santana and Brittany were sitting protectively round the girl who wouldn't even make eye contact with her.

She was the bad guy all over again, for thinking of others, for thinking she knew what was best for Quinn...

With her defeatist attitude she walked straight past the three girls on the front row and up the risers to the back. She dropped her bag on the floor and then dropped herself on the seat, slouching in it.

When Mr S came in and started talking to them Rachel didn't hear a word, she just stared at the back of Quinn's head... perfect but not so perfect Quinn, the first girl she had real feelings for, such stupidly strong feelings for someone her age, but such feelings that she wished she'd never feel them for someone else, because having to move on from Quinn felt like an impossible task right now. They'd been through so much together, that was true, and Quinn said she'd had more than enough time to know and think about what she was feeling, but just because they had come so far didn't mean they'd make it much longer.

She couldn't take it anymore, staring at the back of Quinn's head wasn't getting her anywhere. She got up out of her seat, grabbed her bag off the floor and dropped down the risers, passing the other students, the talking Teacher and straight out the door confusing them all.

Quinn watched her go, feeling failure settle in just that much more. She'd scared Rachel off, pushed her away. Maybe if they'd talked first things would be okay, or there would be hope but no, Rachel was doing what she did best, running.

"Is Rachel okay?" Mr Schue asked the group, wanting to know just how trashed any ideas for Nationals were "Quinn, you're close to her" Oh how she wished she was close to her, all the time, from hand holding to much, much more "Has she said anything?"

"I don't know Mr S" Quinn shrugged meekly "Maybe it's stress" she suggested. The rest of the group weren't as out of the loop as their teacher but they had all earned some respect for Rachel at some point, so they weren't going to out her as a drama queen because she can't handle another person's feelings for her. That and Santana was being weirdly protective of Rachel and Quinn lately, and most recently just Quinn, so they weren't about to get into that mess.

"Oh, well, with finals and nationals I guess we can all relate to that" he conceded that much "Anyway back to what I was thinking for nationals-"

"Mr Schue" everyone looked up to the door as Rachel walked in, cherry burst, cut away acoustic guitar on its strap and over her shoulder "I want to sing. I've got a song I want to share" even though the comment was directed at the teacher she never took her eyes off Quinn on the front row. Her strong yet distant gaze was almost unnerving but not to Quinn, her heart was racing. Rachel wanted to sing.

"Um, okay, but I'm talking about nationals-" Mr Schue tried to explain the importance of the meeting subject.

"That's unimportant, what I have to say is" she told him dismissively, eyes still on Quinn as she walked across the floor and stopped in the centre, just in front of her teacher.

Meanwhile on the middle row Kurt may have let out a little dramatic gasp at her insinuating Nationals wasn't important, Blaine was quick to comfort him.

"Um, okay, lets hear what you've got" Mr Schue awkwardly conceded the floor, which Rachel had already invaded. "When you're... ready" he looked at her but wasn't sure if she could hear anything, he glanced at what she was staring at and was only further confused, not _that _confused though, when his eyes landed on Quinn staring intently back at the brunette punk.

She didn't say anything, she just started strumming the guitar she'd collected from her car, which she'd tuned in on the walk back. Yeah she was that good at multi-tasking, like she'd prove again by singing and playing at the same time.

"_Take me out tonight__  
>Where there's music and there's people<em>_ a__nd they're young and alive__  
>Driving in your car<em>_  
>I never, never want to go home<em>_  
>Because I haven't got one<em>_  
>Anymore<em>_"_

Quinn furrowed her brow, she wasn't familiar with the song, but she felt the familiarity with Rachel. The amount of times they were out together, avoiding going home, often ending up at Rachel's, at least at first, when Quinn was afraid of how her mother would react if she saw her so wasted. That was just the early days though.

"_Take me out tonight__  
>Because I want to see people and I<em>_ w__ant to see life__  
>Driving in your car<em>_  
>Oh, please don't drop me home<em>_  
>Because it's not my home, it's their home, and I'm welcome no more<em>_"_

It was dark, it was a risk but it was from the heart. It was the truth and she felt Quinn would understand because they had actually been through this. She knew it wasn't the clearest song, it's just that it was one she knew how to play without thinking about it too much, that and it fit. So here everything went with the next verse, or was it a chorus, it wasn't entirely clear...

"_And if a double-decker bus__  
>Crashes into us<em>_  
>To die by your side<em>_  
>Is such a heavenly way to die<em>_  
>And if a ten-ton truck<em>_  
>Kills the both of us<em>_  
>To die by your side<em>_  
>Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine<em>_"_

A smile broke onto Quinn's lips, yeah it was a little dark but she knew it was true too, she didn't want to be without Rachel, not saying she would have taken her own life if Rachel hadn't ever woken but she would have spent so long wishing the accident had ended her too, it would have hurt just that much, even for their young, maybe naive hearts.

"_Take me out tonight__  
>Take me anywhere, I don't care,<em>_I don't care, I don't care__  
>And in the darkened underpass<em>_  
>I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last<br>But then a strange fear gripped me and I__ j__ust couldn't ask"_

She put a hand over her mouth to suppress a giggle when Rachel pulled a face questioning the lyrics she'd just sung. She then went back to smiling. She didn't even know what the rest of the group was doing, if she'd look they were just listening, it was a sweet song, a love song, but it wasn't the most obvious of those types of songs.

"_Take me out tonight__  
>Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care,<em>_I don't care, I don't care__  
>Driving in your car<em>_  
>I never, never want to go home<em>_  
>Because I haven't got one,<br>Oh, I haven't got one__"_

Rachel wanted Quinn to know she felt at home here, in Lima, New York wasn't her home anymore, she didn't have a place to go back to, at least not right now. She wanted to be here with Quinn, or wherever Quinn was if she was being completely truthful, that was home for her, where she felt right.

"_And if a double-decker bus__  
>Crashes into us<em>_  
>To die by your side<em>_  
>Is such a heavenly way to die<em>_  
>And if a ten-ton truck<em>_  
>Kills the both of us<em>_  
>To die by your side<em>_  
>Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine<em>_"_

And it really would have been in a terrible way, dramatic Rachel had to do this, it was the only way she could be dismissive if Quinn turned her down. But judging by the looks she was getting, and she'd seen all of them because she really hadn't taken her eyes off the hazel eyed object of her affections the entire time she'd been singing, but judging from those looks, she hadn't messed up, not yet.

"_Oh, There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out__  
>There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out<em>_  
>There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out<em>_"_

As she sang those last lines over and over again she closed in on Quinn, she abandoned playing the guitar, slipping it round so it hung upside down on her back, and stopped singing as she reached Quinn. She held her hands out, offering them to Quinn. With a shy smile, that so wasn't Quinn, she took Rachel's hands, between them they got Quinn to stand so Rachel could say this properly.

"You mean everything to me, when I'm with you I see only you, I know only you, because you're the only thing that matters" she said with such heartfelt sincerity, that just warmed Quinn "You make me forget there's a world outside the window, and that the world keeps turning when I'm with you, you make me forget there'll be a tomorrow" her eyes just scanned Quinn's face, as the smiles kept coming for Quinn Rachel felt more at ease, more confident "I want you, I want to be your everything, I want to be your coat in the winter, your sun tan lotion in the summer" she managed a tearful sigh of a laugh, making Quinn do the same "You make everything better Quinn. You're the medicine I want: '3 times a day and shake well before taking'"

"She did not just say that" Santana grumbled. She was quickly hushed by her own girlfriend who was just watching intently like the rest of the group.

"I just want you, probably too much but I do, and I'm selfish enough to say that, but not selfish enough to push you" Rachel told her, unnecessarily really because Quinn knew Rachel would never push her, she had always been there for her. Quinn also noted how that was similar to what she'd said just before glee club "So what do you say, will you give me a chance?"

"I'll give you a hundred" Quinn told her without hesitation

Rachel eyes softened a little more "You think I'll screw this up that many times?"

"No I just- why are we talking about this?" Quinn asked rhetorically before she tilted her head, giving Rachel the signs she wouldn't miss this time, as she leant down just a tiny bit to meet Rachel's lips halfway, she silently thanked Rachel for wearing those boots that gave her some height again, and then she quickly forgot all about that as Rachel's lips pressed a little more against hers and started to move, she automatically mirrored the action, absorbed by the sensation.

A couple of cheers, a few cat calls and maybe a wolf whistle grounded them enough to make them pull away before they got lost and took it too far.

...

By lunch time Rachel realised she had been focused on nothing they'd covered in class but seeing Quinn again. They'd only caught glimpses of each other between classes and the actual morning break they had was cut short thanks to Quinn's teacher not letting the class leave on time. The time she and Quinn had spent together in that break was full of shy silence as Rachel thought of what to do next... it had happened, she'd confessed, Quinn had reciprocated... and now?

When she got to the cafeteria she quickly found Quinn sitting with the rest of the glee club. She slyly slipped into the seat next to the other girl

Quinn had been looking down the table in discussion with the others when she felt the added presence. She swiftly turned her head to the new comer "Hey" she suppressed a grin, but the smile in her eyes betrayed her excited emotions

"Hey" Rachel squeaked back, ignoring Santana's face pulling opposite them. "So..."

"So... how was class?" Quinn asked meekly

"Oh you know" Rachel shrugged as she lent both arms, crossed, on her the table top in front of her "Same old boring stuff that I didn't pay attention too... besides I was distracted" she defended before Quinn could do her usual scolding

"Oh yeah" the blonde quirked an eyebrow

"Yeah..." she chewed her bottom lip for a moment "Um... do you want to go out some time?" she shrugged again, trying to stay casual.

"Sure" Quinn asked with the same casualness in which Rachel had asked. Rachel's was more due to nerves though, Quinn just smiled and watched amused, this was just like when she asked her to prom only with no doubt of where it was going "When?"

"Um, Friday?" she suggested, before Quinn could answer however she continued "Saturday?" then she rambled out the rest of the days of the week "Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday?"

"You goof" Quinn poked fun lightly as she knocked her shoulder against Rachel's

"Well I could be your goof, if you say yes" Rachel reasoned, as cool-ly as she could, but failing obviously.

"Ugh puke, you guys haven't even gone out on a date and you're already this... just yuck" Santana grimaced from opposite them.

Rachel quirked an eyebrow on a Quinn like fashion as she questioned the Latina "Yuck? Really that's the best you could do?"

"Just say yes already Q, so we can get on with our lives" Santana sighed and turned her attention back to her own girlfriend.

"So, um, when do you want to go on that date?"

"Friday?" Quinn re-suggested, it was Rachel's first suggestion after all.

"That's 4 days away" the brunette pointed out, she'd have to get through an entire week of school, near enough, before she could take Rachel out.

"Then you'll have a long enough amount of time to plan everything" she joked

"Okay" Rachel smirked "Friday it is"

...

Finally the end of the day came, they'd met at their lockers and then gone together to Rachel's car. Quinn was supposed to get a lift home with Santana and Brittany but that obviously wasn't needed anymore.

Once they were finally secluded in Rachel's car Rachel let out a long sigh "That was the longest day ever"

"Yeah..." Quinn agreed as she watched the girl in the driver's seat.

"So are we..?" she cautiously looked back at Quinn, she saw it in those hazel eyes, she understood where Rachel was going with her open ended question

"We'll see after the first date" she couldn't help but tease, even after everything.

"Okay" Rachel just nodded and swallowed thickly

"Rach, I'm kidding" she chuckled, getting the girls attention back "I don't want to wait for the first date to agree, that we're..." she trailed off too, almost afraid to say it

"So we are..?" Rachel asked again, just to be clear.

"Yeah... you're my girlfriend" Quinn breathed, and then the relief came, it was official, she'd said it... and as she finally met Rachel's gaze she found the girl biting her lip again to hold back another wide smile. Her jaw should be hurting with all the smiling today.

"A-and you are my girlfriend" she rolled her eyes at her self for stuttering, make Quinn laugh lightly, before Rachel continued with the usual teasing "Wow... never thought I'd get to say that... the hot, stunningly beautiful, emotional roller coaster that is Quinn Fabray is my girlfriend"

Quinn just punched her lightly in the bicep, before they fell into another unsure silence

"So...do you want to hang out... at mine?" Quinn suggested

"Shouldn't we be studying?" Rachel imagined that's what Quinn would be focused on right now with exams everywhere, and Yale on the horizon. She pushed that to the back of her mind though... Yale and Quinn... would there be space for her in Quinn's life?

"Who says we wouldn't be studying?" well Quinn assumed text books and revision noted would be removed from bags... but she didn't know what might happen after that.

Rachel smirked in a more traditional bad Berry way and leant close to Quinn across the consol to say low and what she believed was seductively "If we go to your place and end up in your room, the only studying I'll be doing is of that mouth of yours"

"Rachel!" she would have kissed her if there weren't so many witnesses in the parking lot outside the car, but she went for the playful yelp instead.

"I can't help it" she leant away again "Its been 3 days since that first kiss and since then we've only kissed once... it's kinda a necessity with me. We should kiss at least 5 times a day"

"Oh really" that eyebrow was quirked yet again

"Yeah" Rachel smirked "So 4 more should complete the requirement for today" she realised how technical she sounded, like her old formative self, but she wanted those kisses so she'd let it slide

"What about Saturday and Sunday? Shouldn't we make up for those days?" Quinn suggested with such innocence

"... Maybe" Rachel lightly agreed, then she smirked, an even smirkier smirk than before "What about all the months you wanted me?"

"What about all the months you wanted me?" she smirked right back

"Well that's a really long time..." Rachel sighed with fake reluctance, faking that she was worried on how much time they'd need to make up for lost time.

"We better get moving then" Quinn just noted, as she buckled her seat belt. Rachel took that as a signal and did the same before starting the car and tearing from the parking space to head home... carefully of course, despite some possible anxiety...

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it took so long to update, hope it was okay... let me know what you think... I think<strong>

**The song is 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out' by 'The Smiths', though there are hundreds of covers (Personally I think I actually prefer the original)**


	23. Beneath Your Beautiful

**Thank you for reviewing: Kaioo, Fabamf, writting is love, musicwolf89, DameonCain, WhatHurtsMeMost, xtreme, NZgleek91, fridaglee17, mika-faberryluver4395, sayitwithyourhands, Harley Quinn Davidson, OutOfNoWhereHereIAm, Guest, lemon-rind, kutee, priscilla20, Musicfutbolfan6, terri, agirl00z, MattMurdoch65, Guest, Guest, LoveSKINS94 and Guest**

**And thank you to Dizzle24 for Beta-ing! Thank you for the corrections, calming my recent comma addiction, and the changes and additions you made.**

**Posted: 9/10/13**

* * *

><p><span>Beneath Your Beautiful<span>

"_Rachel," Quinn pushed her way between the crowds of people to reach the short brunette. When she had the girl's attention she complained, "I want to go home."_

"_What's wrong? You've got your ID, just chill," Rachel yelled dismissively over the music, as she danced with some girl._

"_No I just wanna go home," she said more sternly, grabbing Rachel's arm this time. "There's some guy over there. He said some really creepy stuff earlier to me, and now he's watching me, and I just feel really out of place."_

_Rachel's expression dropped and she felt the grip on her arm quiver, like Quinn was desperate. "What guy?" she asked._

_Quinn looked around the club and found the bulky older guy standing with some of his equally intimidating friends. "Um, him," she nodded shyly for Rachel to figure it out. It didn't take her long to locate the guy looking at Quinn._

"_Wait here, I'll be right back," she assured the out of place blonde. _

_She stayed glued to the spot as she watched Rachel barge her way through the crowd of drunk, dancing, people. She stormed right up to the guy, who was considerably taller than Rachel. Quinn watched nervously as Rachel said something aggressively and pointed back to her. She couldn't hear over the music, but she could just about see through the flashy club lighting. She saw the guy smirk and then his mouth move as he said something. Rachel lost it and grabbed the taller guy by the jacket, pinning him to the wall behind him. When one of his friends went to pull her off, she just elbowed him in the ribs. She then continued an aggressive verbal assault and dropped the guy, throwing him to the floor. _

_Then, like nothing had happened, she pushed her way back to Quinn. "Okay, let's go," she took Quinn's hand and dragged her away through the drunks._

"_Wait. Y-you just-" she started to say, but was cut off as she felt the tug on her arm. She finally got her feet to move despite how stunned she was that someone would do that, especially for her. "Why did you do that?"_

"_He's a creep, and he made you uncomfortable," Rachel yelled over her shoulder as she dragged Quinn towards the exit. They stopped by the booth where Sheila was sitting while Ronnie and The Mack were at the bar. "Shelia, I'm heading out," she raised her voice to be heard over the music._

"_Why, what's up?" The original skank eyed Quinn up suspiciously, mentally noting that she'd won a bet with her other friends if Blondie had a problem._

"_Nothing, just not feeling like it tonight," Rachel shrugged. "Tell the others yeah, I'll catch up with you tomorrow," she said as she started towards the exit again._

"_Okay, see ya," Shelia called back as she watched Rachel and that girl leave. She was left wondering why the blonde celibacy queen was so damn special all of a sudden._

_Once they were outside and could hear and breathe again, Rachel noticed Quinn still looking at her completely confused. "What?"_

"_You just attacked that guy," Quinn spluttered, still not believing it. The most anyone had done for her was get into a shoving match in a hallway, and that was really an argument over her. No friend, however, had ever stood up for her like that, and Rachel technically wasn't a friend... yet._

"_That was nothing," she waved off, walking down the street. "That guy deserved it. Anyway, I'm sorry for putting you in that situation."_

"_Couldn't he like... try and get back at you?" Quinn asked cautiously._

"_Yeah, I'd like to see him try," Rachel laughed confidently. They fell into silence, Rachel noticing how distant Quinn looked. "Sorry we're walking. Shelia's got the car and I've had a drink," she said to the blonde._

"_You can stay if you want," she looked back to the club, with the people still lining up outside, "You don't have to leave with me."_

"_Yeah right, like I'm going to let you walk home in the dark," Rachel scoffed. She realised she was sounding a bit soft right now but she had a heart, she wouldn't just leave this girl. "Do you even know where we are?"_

"_Um..." Quinn stopped walking when it occurred to her she wasn't even sure if Rachel knew the way. "No but-" she looked around, she really didn't recognise anything, "No I don't," she finally conceded._

"_Okay then." Rachel started walking again, prompting Quinn to do the same "Sorry for bringing you out here."_

"_No... I'm sorry." This was obviously one of Rachel's hangouts and she'd made her leave. She might have felt just a little bit guilty for that. "I just don't fit in with these people."_

"_Maybe you need a makeover," Rachel suggested._

"_I'm fine the way I am," Quinn snapped, defensively._

"_Didn't say you weren't," she said coolly, though her crush type feelings were teasing her that she meant that with more enthusiasm than she used. "You're perfect," she added, cringing inside. This wasn't her usual tactics for getting a girl to make out with her._

"_You're drunk," Quinn accused, dismissing any compliments. She didn't normally get those kind of compliments, so she wouldn't start listening to them now. Perfect? Nobody was perfect, especially not herself._

"_I only had one!" Rachel yelped her defence playfully. "You are though, you're perfect. But have you ever even gone through a phase, where you just dress a little crazy for a while?" she asked as she peered at the blonde carefully, "You're a teenager, it's allowed."_

"_Have you?" Quinn asked right back with a quirked eyebrow._

"_What do you think I'm doing now?" she held her arms out, presenting and emphasizing her state of dress. _

_Quinn only knew her like this, and they'd only become acquainted very recently so she couldn't imagine Rachel in anything different. "So this is just a phase?" she asked, unbelieving._

"_Might be, might not, I kinda like who I am now," Rachel shrugged._

Quinn still wondered, nearly a year later, exactly what Rachel had been like before. She didn't want her to change though, this was the girl she'd fallen for and she was happy. She'd been standing in front of her locker; staring into it and wondering what Rachel might have planned for their date tonight.

Maybe she'd take her back to 'Grissini'... but she'd only had 4 days to plan so probably not. That was okay though, she didn't just want a repeat of last week. Maybe Rachel would take her to Breadsticks as a partial joke. Breadsticks with Rachel was still better than Breadsticks with anyone else.

That's what had got Quinn thinking back to the very first time Rachel had taken her out, and how quickly it had ended. Maybe Rachel would take her there. That would be a weird date though. But, it could be good for a first, blind date with its low lighting, loud music, and alcohol flowing to assist one in making poor decisions. No, that didn't sound like the best place for them. Not with how far their feelings had already developed.

"Hey," was breathed heavily behind her, but not in an intimate way. Quinn shut her locker and turned curiously to find Rachel, looking a little breathless, but smiling none the less.

"Hey? Why are you breathing like that?" she smiled back, her eyebrow creased in confusion.

"Oh you know just been jogging," Rachel grinned as she shrugged it off. Meanwhile, she was taking in how nice it was that Quinn was _standing_ in front of her. Quinn was trying out a wheelchair free day, seeing as she always had friends around her and she sat in her classes. Also, the fact that her chair was in Rachel's car if she wanted it made her feel confident that she'd be absolutely fine.

A blonde eyebrow rose up as she stated questioningly, "Jogging?"

"Yeah, gets the blood pumping and... stuff," she smirked as she tried to even out her breathing.

"Okay." Quinn let it slide "So are we still on for later in glee club?" the blonde asked cautiously. It had been Rachel's idea to perform something together in glee club so they had spent the last three evenings, between studying and making out, preparing a performance for the meeting today. Mr. Shue had asked them come up with song ideas for Nationals, which was coming up fast. The two girls didn't expect much from it, but they wanted the chance to sing together at least once.

Rachel bowed her head and muttered, "If you still want to..."

"Yeah I do," she smiled softly.

"Okay... good," Rachel nodded. She leaned in a little, wanting Quinn to meet her in the middle so she wasn't forcing Quinn into anything public. They hadn't actually kissed in school other than that time in glee club.

"Hey Berry!" The words floated angrily down the hallway, some distance away but loud enough to be heard by the two girls, pulling them apart.

Rachel looked toward the voice and spotted Azimio and some of the football team storming towards them. Azimio was sporting a lovely blue sheen over his head and on the shoulders of his letterman jacket. "Oh crap," she muttered as she turned back to Quinn, who'd just been staring at the same thing.

"What did you do?" the blonde asked, with mischief in her own voice.

Rachel's eyes glinted with the same mischief. "The usual," she smiled back widely. The brunette pushed up on her tiptoes and delivered a quick kiss to Quinn's cheek before turning and sprinting down the other end hallway. She quickly turned around without stopping and yelled, "See ya later!"

"See ya," Quinn called after her, slightly dazed just from being near the girl. She watched Rachel disappear around the corner, the boys following as they rushed past in hopes of catching the brunette. Quinn was more than confident Rachel would be fine, she always was. But, that didn't mean she wasn't still secretly worried. She bit her bottom lip as she thought about Rachel; about the fact that they were together and how much better she felt because of it. She noticed someone watching her in the direction Rachel had just passed. Santana was smirking at her, Brittany just looking lost as they saw her lovesick face. "That's my girlfriend," she said to both of them, making herself grin even more.

Santana just rolled her eyes. "Great, you're gonna be one of those girlfriends." She shook her head dismissively and went back to her open locker.

"I think it's sweet," Brittany shrugged, as she leant against the neighbouring locker.

The Latina paused shoving books into her bag. "Brittany, you think everything's sweet," she sighed.

"Not everything's sweet," the blonde with the long hair scoffed. "Like, spicy things aren't sweet... but you are," she said blankly to her girlfriend, as if it was just nothing, just the words her head was telling her to say.

Santana smiled, shyly, which was weird enough for anyone who knew Santana. She looked sincerely at her girlfriend and simply said, "No, _you_ are sweet, Britt."

The sarcastic comment of _'You're gonna be one of those girlfriends' _was on the tip of Quinn's tongue but she'd let it slide this time. Seeing Santana's personality change reminded Quinn of how she had changed just to become Rachel's friend

"_Oh my god my hairs pink!" She stared at her hair, wide eyed, in the mirror on Rachel's dresser._

_Rachel stepped up behind her and met her eyes through the mirror, "You chose pink."_

_She glanced at those chocolate eyes before looking back at the messy dyed hair on her head. "Yeah but I didn't think it'd be so..."_

"_Pink?" Rachel had to laugh._

"_Call me stupid, but yeah," she cringed as she ran her hands through it. It wasn't a clean dye, patchy in some places, but Rachel had said that was the look she was going for when she dyed it for Quinn._

"_You wanna try another colour?" Rachel asked. Her eyes widened at an idea, "How about blue?"_

"_No!" Quinn yelped, automatically putting her hands over her hair to protect it from the crazy punk. "It'll turn purple!"_

"_Cool. Let's try it!" Rachel's eyes brightened at the idea, she'd love to see if that really worked._

"_No!" she snapped a little more serious this time. "Leave it."_

_Rachel backed away and sat at the foot of her bed while she watched Quinn play with her hair. "Are you going to re-dye it blonde when you go home?"_

_Quinn's hands stilled. "Um… no."_

"_I don't believe you," the brunette laughed. "At least leave it over night. It's probably best not to dye it again in the same day anyway... what if all your hair fell out," she slyly threw the idea out there._

_Quinn narrowed her eyes and looked back at the girl who was quickly becoming her friend, despite these shenanigans. "You just want my mom to see it don't you."_

"_Blame me," Rachel shrugged. Parents often blamed her. It was no big deal. "I'm sure she loves me already," she muttered dryly._

"_Actually she thinks- um, she hasn't mentioned what she thinks of you." Quinn stopped herself before she let it slip that Judy seemed to like the crazy little punk._

"_Really?" Rachel huffed a laugh._

"_Yeah," Quinn nodded as she pulled the chair out in front of the dresser and took a seat._

"_She's having lunch, again, with my dad tomorrow. I'm surprised, I thought she might be funny with him," Rachel fidgeted a little._

"_Why?" Quinn creased her brow._

_Rachel just shrugged. "She seems the sort who might be homophobic."_

"_What? No... I mean my dad was," Quinn corrected. If Rachel thought that, it might have something to do with the man who was no longer in her life, just his views lingering as fear over the house. "But I don't think she is, otherwise she wouldn't be pushing to be your dad's friend," she defended. "I hope she doesn't scare him off, she needs the friendship."_

"_Well, glad she's not homophobic..." Rachel smiled, before she muttered softly, "Otherwise she'd really hate me."_

"_You're..." Quinn trailed off, studying the girl leaning back, propped up by her hands on her bed._

"_I'm gay, yeah." She said it like it was nothing. Because it was nothing. She also took in how Quinn reacted._

"_So... do you have a girlfriend back in New York?" Quinn asked cautiously. Rachel hid how surprised she was that _that_ was what Quinn had asked._

"_No, I'm single by choice," she answered simply._

"_Oh," Quinn muttered, a hint of 'I'm not surprised' in her voice._

"_Just not my choice," Rachel added, throwing everyone. That wasn't what either girl expected her to say._

"_Oh," Quinn said again, only this time with a hint of sympathy._

_Rachel got up and walked over to Quinn to check out her hair again "I mean being single can be fun." She didn't hesitate to run her hands through Quinn's short hair, shaping it, testing it, trying to scruffy it up even more, to give her an idea of what they could do with some product in it. "Meeting girls, having fun with them, even having a few I can call up-"_

"_On speed dial?" Quinn asked a little too quickly, her bitchy side had been suppressed since the end of the school term, so it had to come out at some point. If Quinn had thought about it, it just meant she was feeling comfortable and confident again._

"_Ouch, that was bitchy... nice," Rachel nodded with approval._

"_Well some would say I'm an expert bitch," Quinn smirked as they looked at one another through the mirror._

"_Only some?" Rachel joked._

Pink hair, it hadn't been that extreme. What was more interesting was the fact that Judy was sober enough to be shocked when she got home later that day. It stuck in the end and with the nose piercing and the fake tattoo, she blended in enough at the clubs to avoid getting _everyone's _attention. The fake tattoo design had been a punishment as she had chickened out on the actual tattoo the skanks had picked out for her. Quinn figured it wasn't a big deal. She would take a terrible fake one over something permanent any day.

...

When they met later in glee club, Quinn was more than relieved to see Rachel came away unscathed for the time being. She made sure to check by hugging Rachel tightly. If the brunette had winced, she'd know there was bruising. She hadn't. When she asked, she knew Rachel wouldn't be lying.

"So you got away clean?" Quinn asked as she and Rachel took seats in the middle row.

"Yep, lost them when I cut through the cafeteria," Rachel told her proudly.

"The last time I saw them chasing you like that I still had pink hair," Quinn remembered fondly. She'd been talking to Finn and he'd been accusing Rachel of turning her gay. That made her laugh, well only in her head. Huh. Maybe she had.

"Yeah I remember." Rachel had remembered glaring up at the man-child, wanting him to back off. "I think I prefer your hair this colour," she admitted.

Quinn shoved her playfully. "You were the one who dyed it pink," she accused.

"Yeah, so you'd blend in with us last summer," Rachel explained. There was nothing wrong with pushing boundaries and making a statement. A change in fashion was normally the easiest way to do that. "I didn't want any more guys getting all pervy on you at the clubs, but I still wanted you to hang out with us."

As the room began to fill with more club members, the girls quieted their conversation. Quinn leant over, her lips close to Rachel's ear, and whispered, "I'm so happy you moved in next door all those months ago." She pulled away to see Rachel smiling but there was a worrying distance in her eyes.

If she hadn't lost her sister in that accident than she wouldn't have moved and met Quinn. But that didn't mean she had to feel bad about being happy to have met Quinn, did it? "I'm so happy I moved to Lima," Rachel timidly confessed back. Quinn was about go in for a small kiss but their teacher just had to be on time for once.

"Right, today is the day!" Mr. Schue announced lively as he walked into the choir room and dropped his bag and some paperwork on top of the grand piano. He clapped his hands together, snapping everyone's attention to him. "Who has something they want to share?"

Quinn looked to Rachel to see if she should volunteer them. Rachel's lip quivered into a smile before she nodded, letting Quinn know she was ready if her girlfriend was. "Mr. Schue," Quinn raised her hand. "Rachel and I have something we'd like to share."

"A duet? That's great!" he said encouragingly. "The floor is all yours, girls." He took his bag and papers with him as he moved to the front row out of the way. The two stepped down the risers and over to the piano, separating as one walked up each side. Quinn stopped when she got next to the keys while Rachel took a seat.

"Sit with me," Rachel asked. She offered her hand out to Quinn who took it. Rachel yanked her close, causing Quinn to yelp unintentionally, making her sit on the bench as well. They missed more of Santana's eye rolling and other odd looks they were getting from the class. These two definitely had a weird effect on each other. Rachel found the right keys, her fingers poised over them ready to start. "You ready?"

Quinn took a calming breath, before nodding. "Yeah"

Rachel nodded to the band, and started playing. She began singing first;

"_You tell all the boys 'No'  
>Makes you feel good, yeah"<em>

She nudged Quinn's side playfully, making the girl blush at memories of pushing boys away when they tried to push a relationship onto her. It _had_ made her feel powerful that she had that control over them. The way she could get them all hot and bothered and then just stop, leaving them with little problems and frustration. It also made her realise her attraction to them wasn't as strong as what she felt for Rachel. She lo- liked Rachel. She really liked Rachel.

"_I know you're out of my league  
>But that won't scare me away, oh, no"<em>

And Rachel really meant that. She was scared. She'd always be scared of something with Quinn but she wasn't afraid to try anymore. She realised it wasn't a bad thing to try and be happy. To risk everything especially as Quinn was reciprocating.

"_You've carried on so long,  
>You couldn't stop if you tried it.<br>You've built your wall so high  
>That no one could climb it,<br>But I'm gonna try"_

She didn't really feel like she'd need to try to break down Quinn's walls, she'd already done it; they'd already got past everything two teens could get through and then some.

"_Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?  
>Would you let me see beneath your perfect?<br>Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl  
>I wanna see inside<br>Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?"_

Quinn got up and walked around the piano, leaning on it as she faced Rachel. Her back was to the group so she could just sing like they'd rehearsed it in Rachel's room. Rachel abandoned the keys as the band took over. She didn't move though, she just got ready to sing back-up for Quinn. She'd need to go back to playing the piano for the end anyway.

"_You let all the girls go  
>Makes you feel good, don't it?"<em>

"_Yeah," _Rachel sung lightly, answering and agreeing with the question.

"_Behind your Broadway show  
>I heard a girl say, 'Please don't hurt me'"<em>

The brunette sung the second part of that last line, feather light to and with Quinn. No one else knew about her past Broadway dreams so that part was an inside joke, a little something just for them.

"_You've carried on so long  
>You couldn't stop if you tried it.<br>You've built your wall so high  
>That no one could climb it<br>But I'm gonna try"_

Maybe there were still things for Rachel to overcome. They both still had to deal with aftermath of the accident. Quinn still felt tired on her legs, her back sometimes ached, and she was often worried that one little knock to Rachel's head would put the girl in another coma, but they could make it. They were sure of that now. Maybe it was juvenile, life wasn't perfect, but right now they could just enjoy these feelings.

"_Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?  
>Would you let me see beneath your perfect?<br>Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl  
>I wanna see inside<br>Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, tonight?"_

They shared the last part, singing some bits together and letting the other go solo for other parts. It just felt natural, not rehearsed. Though in reality they'd rehearsed again and again, making sure they knew timing and everything. When it came down to it though, they probably hadn't needed to.

"_I'm gonna climb on top your ivory tower  
>I'll hold your hand and then we'll jump right out<br>We'll be falling, falling  
>But that's okay<br>'Cause I'll be right here  
>I just wanna know"<em>

Quinn circled back around the piano slowly, eyes connected only with Rachel's. She felt little hiccups of excitement flutter in her chest and stomach as she thought about how far they'd come and the simple fact that Rachel was hers. Who knew how long it would last? Who cared? What mattered was what was happening right now. Last summer had been pretty amazing but Quinn was sure this one would be even better.

"_Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?  
>Would you let me see beneath your perfect?<br>Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl  
>'Cause I wanna see inside<br>Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, oh, oh, tonight?  
>See beneath your beautiful"<em>

Quinn sat back on the piano bench next to her girlfriend as they finished the song together. It ended in that same relaxed, sharing way that felt so natural to them.

"_Oh, tonight, we ain't perfect, we ain't perfect, no.  
>Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?"<em>

It wasn't until they heard genuine applause that they were reminded of the other people in the room. Mr. Schue did his usual clapping and words of encouragement before retaking the floor to address the class. "That was really great, what did everyone think?" he asked the group, wanting everyone to share their opinions.

Without even putting her hand up nor filtering her thoughts, Brittany blankly asked, "Are you two gonna have sex tonight?"

"W-what?" Quinn stuttered, which was still weird for anyone who knew her to hear. Sure, they had caught the implications of the song when they first heard it but once they'd really listened to it together, Quinn understood the real meanings. Not the childish assumptions in the lyrics.

"Well, you were asking Rachel to get naked," Brittany said, confused.

"Yeah, isn't that song about sex?" Santana backed her girlfriend up. She also wanted everyone else to think of it like that, from a certain point of view. "I'm no prude, but judges might be. So… nice singing, but you kind of wasted your chance."

"We don't care about that Santana, we just wanted to sing," Quinn replied confidently. Maybe for a moment she had thought that it would be nice to sing that in competition but the more she thought about it, the more she realised she just couldn't. Yes, she was happy with Rachel. But, she wasn't ready to shout her happiness from the rooftop.

"So you two are gonna have sex tonight," Brittany concluded. That actually made Quinn nervous and questioned Rachel's motives for singing the song. Rachel wasn't planning... _that_, tonight, was she?

"No, Britt," Rachel told the girl simply, before further explaining to the whole group, "And the song is not exactly straight off about sex, its y-o-u-r not y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e. Its like..." She turned to look at Quinn. "I want to see beneath all the good that I already see."

Quinn met her gaze and found herself lost within those words. "Yeah, like I want to see everything. All the faults that are hiding beyond the perfection in front of my eyes..." She realised she'd been staring; they both had for some time, so she blinked herself back to the present and looked back to the group. "Um, that sort of thing."

"Well, you guys hit the assignment on the head," Mr. Schue said, still holding onto his enthusiasm. He still felt positive about their performance. "That is the kind of raw and real emotion I want you guys to perform with. So, I hope you'll all agree with me, but I actually think we should take this performance to Nationals."

Mercedes was true to herself and was the first to protest "What! Mr. S-"

"Schue, as much as I hate to say it, whatever Mercedes was about to say was probably half right. You can't just pick the first thing you hear-"

"Rachel, I thought we did okay," Quinn interrupted her girlfriend timidly; afraid Rachel thought she hadn't sung well enough and let them down.

The brunette punk just smiled back at her fondly. "Yeah we did Quinn, we totally kicked butt... but, I think it would be too much of a risk if we sung it," she tried to explain without having to say anything too obvious or possibly hurtful.

"You guys are kidding right?" Puck actually scoffed. He wasn't exactly going to put himself forward for a solo so he was happy for these two to take a lead. "You guys with that song was perfect."

"Do I have to spell it out to you all?" Rachel sighed. When most of them just looked at her blankly she sighed again but rougher this time, showing her irritation "We're two girls. Yeah, show choir is already uber gay but two girls singing a love song to one another... I don't want to be blamed if we sing this and don't win." There it was. What Rachel felt was the truth.

"But its a really great song," Mr. Schue pushed. Rachel was suspicious. He continued, "What if one of you sung it with one of the boys?"

"Well, I don't want to sing it with anyone but Quinn," Rachel said quickly, taking herself out of the equation.

"And I don't want to sing it with anyone but Rachel," Quinn was quick to agree.

"Why don't you just pick a new pair to sing it? I think Santana or Tina could actually pull off the female part, or Quinn's part, pretty well. Blaine, Artie, Puck, Sam- any of you guys could put your own twist to the male part," Rachel suggested. She really wasn't that bothered about singing a solo at Nationals. She had everything she needed.

Everyone whose name was mentioned brightened at the mere thought of getting a lead in a duet for Nationals.

"Would you two be willing to select and work on rehearsal's with your replacements?" The teacher asked. It was interesting. He was handing over a lot of control lately while still sticking around responsibly to keep everyone grounded. "I know you're busy with exams-" he continued when the two girls just stared at him.

"No, that would be good, Mr. S," Quinn answered for both of them. It was an intriguing idea. It was one way of making sure everyone played a major role in the final performance of the year.

"Okay then," he smiled at them before turning back to the rest of the group. "Right, who's next?"

...

_Rachel leant across the table so that when she yelled, Quinn would actually be able to hear her. "Do you want to dance?"_

"_What?" Quinn yelled back, the bass pumping made it difficult to be sure of what anyone was saying._

"_Dance, do you want to?" Rachel asked again._

"_Um, no thanks," Quinn shook her head and leant back in her seat._

"_Come on, every time we come out you just sit there and sip your drink," the brunette punk complained. "Let loose, have another drink and come out on the dance floor with me."_

"_I-ah... I don't want to." Dancing with Rachel was different than dancing with the other girls. Rachel liked to dance with girls and those she danced with often ended up in a make out session with her so no, Quinn didn't want to 'dance' with her._

"_You don't want to dance, or you just don't wanna dance with me?" Rachel asked with a knowing smile tugging at the corner of her lips._

"_Um... both." The pink haired Quinn figured that was the best answer. "There's loads of girls out there you can dance with," she tried to divert Rachel's attention. The way Rachel was just watching her like that made her feel uncomfortable._

"_Nah, I wanted to dance with the hottest girl in the club," the brunette smirked. Quinn felt herself blush. She wasn't even sure why, it was such a juvenile comment. "I wouldn't try anything Quinn. It's just moving to music," she said, a little more serious. She could read Quinn like a book; she had since the moment they'd met. "Besides look," she nodded with her head to the crowded dance floor "Everyone's just dancing with everyone, anyway."_

_Quinn sighed to herself. She could see even Sheila, Ronnie and the Mack having some fun. If she didn't try to have fun and be fun around these girls, they might ditch her. And she needed some friends this summer. She turned back to the table, picked up her drink, and downed it. She then stood up and offered her hand to a very shocked looking punk. "Come on then, show me your moves." Rachel hesitated, but only for a moment before she slapped her hand into Quinn and stood up. Quinn started leading her to the floor when she stopped again. She looked back over her shoulder "Um, not all of them, just the dancing"_

_Rachel chuckled, though it was drowned out by the music. "Yeah, I figured."_

Quinn was interrupted from her most recent daydream about Rachel when she heard voices outside her bedroom door. She was still downstairs in her temporary bedroom as sometimes in the evenings she felt tired and had to use her chair. She was making more and more progress every day though. And this evening, she felt confident she was up for whatever Rachel had planned. It finally occurred to her that that's whose voice she could hear speaking with her mother. She quickly abandoned her room to join the pair before _more_ embarrassing stories from her past could be shared with the brunette.

"Hey, you're here"

"Hey! Yeah, I said 8... I did say 8, right?"

"Yes, you said 8. She left a big note on the fridge saying 'I've got a date with Rachel, Friday at 8'. If you'd like to see it, it's still there"

"No I'm good, thanks Judy. But could you save it for me? Don't let Quinn throw it away."

"I'm sure she won't. She'll probably put it with her prom corsage. She's pressed it in a book to save it."

"You kept that?" Rachel's eyes twinkled though her lips smirked. She couldn't help it seeing as Judy was 'innocently' embarrassing her daughter. Rachel could tell by the way Quinn was trying to keep a straight face but it was flushed, the tips of her ears even burning red.

"Of course she did!" Judy pushed to embarrass her daughter some more. But the tables were about to turn. "Your father told me how you designed it yourself Rachel. It was very sweet." Rachel's smirk fell, right down into her own pit of embarrassment.

"Can we please go, now?" Rachel asked her girlfriend. Judy knew what she was doing, her words had all been deliberate to toy and mess with the two girls.

"Yeah," Quinn breathed a sigh of relief. "Let me just grab my jacket." She disappeared back to her room but it was only a second later that she was back. "Okay, ready". She grabbed Rachel's hand and dragged them both out the front door.

"Bye Judy," Rachel called back.

"Bye Mom," Quinn did the same, as an afterthought.

"Take care you two!" Judy yelled to both of them as she watched them walk down the path across the front yard. "And watch where you put your hands Miss Berry. My Quinn is a respectable young girl."

Quinn froze before they even reached the sidewalk and looked back at her mother, an indignant "Mom!" escaping.

"Behave you two," she waved back.

"We will. After all, Quinn is a respectable young girl." Rachel couldn't help but join in the teasing, even knowing what Judy was capable of. She then pulled her disgruntled girlfriend with her.

"Rachel," she warned lowly.

"What, I'm scoring points," Rachel shrugged defensively. She waved back to the house just before Judy finally decided to give them their space and shut the front door.

Quinn cringed. "I swear my mom has a crush on you sometimes."

"Eww," Rachel commented lightly. "Let's leave it at that."

"Why are you 'eww'-ing, because she's old?" Quinn slowed her pace as they got to the car. She tugged Rachel back. "Because I'm gonna get old one day. Would you still wanna hang around with me?" she asked with faux innocence. Really, she was testing how long Rachel could see this lasting. Would it go beyond her starting college or had they gone through all this for just a couple of months.

"Sure I would." Rachel grinned and leaned in teasingly before muttering, "Because I'll be old too and won't have any other options."

"Rachel!" Quinn shoved her away but they were still connected at the hand so she didn't get far.

"I'm joking," Rachel chuckled. "Come on." She tugged at Quinn's hand again and took her to the car. She quickly opened the passenger door for her girlfriend.

"You know, you don't have to get my door," Quinn commented coyly as she climbed into the car. She appreciated the door being opened for her nonetheless.

"Sure I do," Rachel said before she shut the door and then walked around to get in the car herself. Once she'd buckled her seat belt she asked, "Okay, we ready?"

"Yep... it's kinda late," Quinn commented lightly, hoping to hide the suspiciousness she was feeling.

"I know. I hope you didn't eat already," Rachel clued her in that there would be food.

"You told me not to... but I may have had a snack 3 hours ago," she admitted.

Rachel chuckled. "Fair enough." She started the car and then... nothing.

Quinn peered cautiously at her girlfriend. "What's wrong? You look like you're going to throw up."

"Um..." She shook her head, clearing the worried thoughts. "Just realised this might have been a horrible idea."

"What, going on a date?" Quinn's worry only increased. "How is that-"

"No, what I've set up. It took me ages to- never mind, let's just go." She put the car into gear and pulled away, starting towards their destination.

"I'm worried now." Quinn tried to laugh it off but it didn't sound like it was working.

"Don't be, I just don't want to disappoint," Rachel half explained. She'd been thinking all week about what she could do and when it came down to it, this simple plan felt like the best answer for a starting point. The idea was supposed to bring them full circle but now Rachel wasn't sure if Quinn would just be disappointed.

Quinn covered Rachel's hand with her own where it rested on the gear stick. "Hey, I'm with you. As long as nothing bad happens, I don't really care."

"Oh now you tell me, we could have just stayed home," Rachel diverted like she always did and pulled her hand away. Quinn didn't say anything, so she felt it was necessary to add, "I'm joking."

"I know," she smiled back. "Whatever you've got planned, I'm gonna like it," she assured her.

...

"We're at school?" Rachel couldn't read her girlfriend's tone, it wasn't straight off disappointment, it wasn't anger, and she didn't exactly sound too pleased either.

"Yeah," Rachel breathed. "Come on." She got out of the car, rushing around to open Quinn's door for her obviously, and then led her to the back of the building, through one of the gates that was unlocked and to the fire escape.

Once they both reached the top, Rachel lead her across the roof, close to where they'd set up that slushy waterfall prank many months ago.

Quinn's eyes lit up when she took in her surroundings. There was a picnic blanket set up with a very classic looking picnic basket on top of it. Little battery-operated lanterns surrounded the whole thing and there were even a couple of cushions and a blanket for comfort.

"A picnic, on the school roof." She turned and gazed softly at the shorter girl. "I'll be honest, I really didn't see this coming."

"What do you think?" Rachel bit her lip anxiously.

"It's different." She wasn't about to let the compliments fly after all the teasing Rachel was torturing her with lately. "No one has ever done this for me before, so it's sweet." Relief washed over Rachel and it encouraged her to drag Quinn over to the set up.

Once they were settled, Rachel causally stated, "We can go on any cliché date you want next. But I wanted to do something simple tonight."

"The school roof isn't exactly simple," Quinn chuckled. Now she could see why Rachel told her to dress comfortable. She was extra happy she'd chosen jeans.

"Well no, climbing up here wasn't fun I guess. Sorry about that."

"No, it's okay. It's nice, secluded. Last time I was up here was the slushy waterfall," she reminded Rachel.

"Oh yeah," she smiled. That had been fun, spontaneous, and a light-hearted moment after Quinn's breakdown in the hall.

"So... other dates huh?" Quinn went back to that, raising an eyebrow as she asked that question. "You've got ideas then?"

Rachel shrugged, she'd only been thinking about it, for a solid three days. "Yeah you know, cliché stuff. Dinner and a movie, bowling, miniature golf, fly a kite, ice-skating, that sort of thing. Though I should warn you, I can't ice skate. As soon as my feet are on the ice, I can't bend my knees," she laughed.

"I've never been ice skating," Quinn admitted.

"You haven't? We've gotta go then."

"But you just said you can't," she laughed. Though, Rachel's enthusiasm to do something she admitted she wasn't good at only encouraged Quinn that Rachel would do anything for her. She wasn't entirely sure that was a good thing.

"So? It'll be fun! You can laugh at me, I can laugh at you. I'll fall over and get my fingers cut off, we'll end up in the Emergency Room." She could only imagine how much Quinn would enjoy that. "Sounds like a perfect night."

"Sure, sounds wonderful," Quinn said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"I'll find a rink if you want," the brunette punk offered.

"Um, actually, could we save it?" Quinn had an idea of her own. Maybe she was thinking too far ahead again but she wanted too.

"What do you mean?" Rachel furrowed her brow.

"Could we save our first ice skating date for... for closer to Christmas? Maybe we could take a little trip," she suggested shyly. Rachel had already mentioned cliché dates; maybe they could do another cliché date. One she'd seen in the movies.

"Oh yeah," Rachel quickly agreed. She was really happy that Quinn saw them still together at Christmas. "A trip where?"

"Maybe we could meet in New York City, and go for the utter cliché; ice-skating at Rockefeller Centre," she suggested shyly. Quinn was still hazy on how this dating a girl thing worked. There was no guy so surely there was no 'proper etiquette' on how to do things right? She could organise some dates as well. "And maybe we could meet up with San and Britt while we're there."

"They're going to New York?" Rachel asked, feeling bad that she was surprised.

"Yeah," she nodded and started fiddling with her hand. She suddenly wondered if Rachel would feel weird about going back there. "... I know it was, like, your home but-"

"No, I'd like that. I'd really like that," she assured Quinn. It would be different visiting the city with her.

"Okay then," Quinn sighed with relief. It was a date. In about 6 months, but it was still a date. "So what are we eating?" Quinn asked, prompting another conversation.

"Okay, well…" She dragged the picnic basket closer. "I don't know if you remember what we ate the first day we met-"

"I brought around that disgusting cherry pie my mom made and then you made Panini's," Quinn completed Rachel's explanation. No, she hadn't forgotten.

"You remember?" Rachel could only keep smiling. Her cheeks were going to start hurting soon.

"Sure I remember. I burnt my tongue and made an idiot of myself that day," Quinn muttered dryly at her own humiliation.

Rachel pulled out a box containing the aforementioned Panini's. "Well you're in luck. These aren't that hot, just warm... I hope. And the pie is made from scratch." She pulled that out too. "And for what it's worth, you didn't make that much of an idiot of yourself," she added as she pulled out cups and drinks. They were still on fruit based alcohol free drinks, not wanting to resort to old ways.

"Well, if I didn't for burning my tongue I did for crying later on when you figured out everything about me. Like the teen pregnancy." She wasn't afraid to talk about this with Rachel. "I really don't get how you figured that out. It had been over a year since I'd given birth and everything."

"You just... I looked at you and it seemed like you had something missing. More than your loser friends who ditched you in favour of your ex," she muttered guiltily. She hadn't meant to put Quinn in the spotlight with her emotions that day, it just kind of happened.

"So... did you just pity me? Is that why you stole my driver's license to make me a fake ID and then dragged me out in the first place?" Quinn had wondered for a long time what had encouraged Rachel and why she hadn't been scared off after Quinn broke down.

"No, I did all that because I had a crush on you," Rachel muttered her honesty.

"That quickly?" she said sceptically, raising one eyebrow.

She shrugged in that Rachel 'Badass' Berry way. "You were hot and you let me talk to you. You didn't run after you'd fulfilled the neighbourly duties your mother had forced on you so no, it wasn't hard beginning to crush on you." Rachel held out the open box with the sandwiches inside. Quinn took half but she didn't eat just yet even though she was hungry and knew Rachel was a good cook.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Well you just did so sure, anything," Rachel chuckled lightly, mentally preparing herself.

"You... you were so adamant on New Years Eve that you weren't going to Prom. What made you change your mind?" Okay, Prom was the turning point so Rachel could see why Quinn had asked.

"Isn't it obvious? It was just because of you."

"But you were so sure I was straight and never going to feel anything back for you," she pushed.

"I know. Even with that in my mind, I wanted you to have the best night possible. Even if it meant we weren't on a real date, I wanted you to have the best. Especially after the year you've had. I was sure I could treat you better than anyone else who'd asked you," Rachel had to confess. She didn't mention the guilt she was feeling for the accident, even if Quinn assured her it wasn't her fault. She still wanted to make it up to her. And now, she had the chance to treat Quinn right and really make it up to her. At least, Rachel hoped so.

"You did. It was the best night I'd ever had and everything was perfect," she sighed contently. But, her expression dropped like it always seemed to when looking back at everything that happened that night. "Right up until you ran."

"I'm really sorry about that, I was nervous." She picked at her own half of sandwich, not sure they'd ever just eat which would have been a great distraction right now.

"It's okay, I'm sorry too. I had weeks after you'd asked me, until that night, to ask you if we could call it a real date but I was too scared." Quinn had to be honest too. Time seemed to be a prominent subject, and so often it was about how much time they had wasted.

"I wish you had. Though, we'd still be standing on your porch if so. I wouldn't have been able to let you go if you'd kissed me while I knew how you felt," she smirked again but it faltered to more of a shy smile.

Quinn just smiled back. This was it; she could say it. The stars were out, the setting was perfect, she could say it. "Rach-"

"Would you sleep over at mine tonight?" Rachel unintentionally cut her off. The silence that passed had made her think and she wanted to ask the blonde now that she found some courage.

"Oh Rachel," she faltered "... I'm sorry but I'm not ready for that." Maybe Brittany was right... that would be scary.

"N-no, no, no... no," Rachel rushed out. "That's not what I meant. I know you're not ready, I'm not even ready... for you," she swallowed thickly. How had a simple request become such a mess so quickly? "I just meant would you... well, would you like to sleepover? Like when we'd go out and get really drunk and you'd crash at mine. But you know, minus the drunk part."

"Kissing?" she blushed.

"Well I was going to say holding, but that too," Rachel agreed shyly.

"Oh yeah, you're a cuddler. With your tight undershirts," Quinn just mocked.

Rachel just bowed her head. "Really wishing I'd never told you that," she muttered shamefully.

"It's sweet," she assured her girlfriend, getting her to stop staring at the half sandwich in her hand. "Besides, you never really needed to tell me that, I already knew. The amount of times I'd wake up after one of those nights last summer with you wrapped round me. You're a secret cuddler, taking advantage in the middle of the night," she teased again; it's just how they were.

"I did not!" Rachel protested, wide eyed with further embarrassment.

Quinn leant in to tease more, "Or how desperately you clung to me that New Year's night after I picked you up from the club."

"Oh god." Rachel face palmed that time. "You remember? I'm really sorry for that."

"Yeah I know," she chirped, satisfied.

"And I still need to make up for that night," Rachel added.

Quinn's eyes darkened at that and felt sympathy for Rachel who still under the impression she owed Quinn. "You already have." She leant it again, food forgotten for now even with all the effort Rachel had put in.

"Oh yeah?" Rachel leant in too, her eyes brightening at where this was going.

"Yeah," Quinn breathed before her lips finally connected with Rachel's.

...

_Two girls, dressed like god knows what, held onto one another to help keep themselves upright. The blonde leant into the brunette and the brunette into the blonde as they tackled the stairs. They'd just had a lot of fun learning how to unlock and then lock a door while intoxicated and now they were on this seemingly impossible task._

_Rachel's foot caught on the stairs, causing her to jolt a tiny bit closer to sober. When she was lucky enough to catch herself, she couldn't help but burst out laughing at the whole thing._

_Quinn laughed too before drunkenly smashing a finger against her lips as she hushed the other girl. "Shh, we'll wake yur dad!"_

"_He's cool. Asides, he can sleep in tomorah." Rachel didn't control her volume as easily as Quinn did, maybe it was the extra shots she'd had._

"_I-I don fink that's how yur supposed to use 'asides'," Quinn slurred as she tried to correct her friend. "Is asides a word? It don soun right." Quinn furrowed her brow but it only helped her sleepily close her eyes._

"_Wha-ever." They stopped in the doorway to Rachel's room. There was hope for them both if they'd made it this far. "Whoa Q, there's two off yu." Rachel tried to concentrate but failed, there was two punk-a-fied pink haired girls in front of her._

_Quinn just giggled and shoved her lightly, her weakened strength not letting the shove have much effect on the brunette. "Well thers three off yu," she argued right back._

_Rachel's hands found their way to Quinn's waist as she fell backwards into her room. "'M sleepy, where's th bed."_

"_Behind yu silly," Quinn leant closer._

"_Oh yah." They both fell back onto the bed together in a drunken mess. Over the course of the night, they found themselves pulling each other closer. They were just lucky neither of them threw up._

Rachel was the first to get into bed. After the initial excitement form Raven at seeing the two girls, she quickly settled. She hoped up on the bed first before Rachel had to move her off. Otherwise, she might smother Quinn in the night and Rachel was already pretty sure she'd do that herself. As she slid off the bed, Raven moved and re-settled on the floor on Rachel's side.

Rachel was tired after the long day she'd had and was now more than ready for not too cautious cuddles with her girlfriend. When Quinn joined her in the room, she was wearing some baggy clothes Rachel had lent her and was holding her own folded up in one hand and her cell phone in the other. She was looking at her phone, reading something Rachel assumed.

"What are you smiling at?" Rachel asked with a smile of her own. Watching Quinn doing something so simple made Rachel happy.

"My mom. I text her I was staying over," she explained. She set her folded clothes down on Rachel's dresser and stayed there, using her phone for a moment longer.

"Your mother makes me blush sometimes," Rachel chuckled as she watched Quinn.

"It's your dad who encourages her," she playfully argued back.

"What did she say?"

"Just that she hopes you behave." She peeked up from her phone to gauge the other girls' reaction.

"Me?" Rachel scoffed. "Excuse me Miss. Fabray, but it was you who interrupted the past 3 study sessions."

"That was your fault," Quinn smirked.

"How was it my fault?" Rachel asked. She was pretty sure it was Quinn who'd dropped her books and started attacking Rachel. It was also Quinn who suddenly stopped after pushing a bit further as she forgot Rachel had a tongue piercing and it had freaked her out for a second.

"You were just sitting there all cute-"

"I am not cute," Rachel said defiantly. She refused to be called cute. Only... she may have liked hearing it from Quinn.

"You can be very cute," she said looking over at Rachel, realizing that the brunette was looking her up and down as she stood there, on the far side of the room. She abandoned her phone to suspiciously ask, "What are you looking at?"

Rachel rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow. "You. You're so... sexy."

"I'm wearing boy clothes," Quinn said flatly. She shook her head and wandered closer, putting her phone on the lamp-less bedside table.

"Hey! Those are my clothes."

"Yeah, I read the tags. 'Junior boys'," she chuckled. She sat down on the edge of the bed on the left side, now known as her side when it mattered. "So I can't be... sexy," she protested.

"You could wear a trash bag and you'd still be sexy," Rachel told her with more sincerity than mischief. She innocently patted the bed next to her, which amazed Quinn that such a gesture could be innocent when it came from Rachel. "Come lay down"

Quinn conceded and pushed past her nerves. She knew Rachel cared about her and this wasn't going to lead anywhere she didn't want to go. She peeled back the corner of the covers and climbed inside, shuffling closer to the brunette who held out her arm. Quinn moved closer as she wrapped an arm around Rachel's middle.

With her free arm, Rachel reached back and switched of the bedside light next to her. "Good night Quinn," she whispered.

"Good night Rachel," Quinn whispered back. They laid there in silence, letting exhaustion take over when something that was eating at Quinn made her speak again. "Rachel?"

"Yeah?" Rachel breathed into the silence.

She swallowed thickly before she confessed, "My real name is Lucy."

"Okay," she muttered sleepily. A half a second later Rachel's eyes snapped open in the darkness. She rolled over and switched on the lamp. She then looked back at her girlfriend who was shyly lying there. "Wait, what?"

"Quinn is my middle name," she said softly, pulling at the bed sheet trying to hide behind it.

"Okay..." Rachel said slowly as she shuffled to sit up properly. "How come everyone calls you Quinn?"

"Because Lucy was a nerd, kind of overweight, and bullied," she muttered, shamefully.

"You were that girl you told me about," Rachel sighed in realisation. She wasn't sure why it hadn't really occurred to her before. "The loser who got constantly slushied?" Quinn just nodded as she tried to shrink in place. "Why are you telling me this?" Rachel pulled the sheet away from Quinn, irritated at why she seemed so scared to admit all this.

"I just-" she huffed and sat up as well. Moving the pillows so they were upright behind her, she sat with her back against the headboard. Unable to make eye contact with Rachel, she continued, "It's part of my life that I'm not proud of and I thought I should tell you. You know, in case it's necessary to know in our future."

"Okay... I still don't get why?" Rachel just furrowed her brow.

"I was wondering if you just like me for my looks," her voice was whiny as she rambled. "Because, yeah it's me, but I had to work so hard for this, to become someone I wanted to be and if you-"

"Whoa Quinn, I'm not that shallow," she grabbed the blonde girls hands. She crossed her legs and turned in place so she could shuffle closer. "Yes you're stunning," she admitted with ease. "But I love you for more than that. I love your fiery personality and I love your vulnerable side too. I love seeing you smile and hearing you laugh. I love that you've given me the chance to be the one to comfort you and help when you're upset." Quinn's heart was in her throat; Rachel had said 'love'. "Please don't think I'm shallow."

Her head shouted at her to say something and as much as she wanted to focus on that 4-letter word, Rachel looked worried that Quinn thought she was shallow. "I don't think you're shallow. I was just thinking and… you don't know everything about me. Like, I had braces."

"Lots of people have had braces Quinn," Rachel said dryly. Braces were not a big deal and she didn't need to tell everyone that.

"And I've had a nose job," Quinn added. The punk wondered if Quinn was just trying to find a reason to push Rachel away.

"I contemplated having one but Abby talked me out of it." It came as a surprise to Rachel that she'd bought up her sister so easily just then. Maybe therapy really was helping. "I'm happy you shared but you didn't have to, it doesn't matter-"

"What if our kids need braces or inherit my nose-" Quinn slapped her hand over her mouth as her eyes widened at what had just said. She hadn't been thinking about _that_ that much, it was just one of those wandering thoughts.

"Wait, kids?" Rachel felt needle like tingles in her hands as a wave of something rushed over her.

The blonde slowly pulled her hand away but her head was shaking, as if she thought Rachel was going to run again. "I'm sorry. I just got way too far ahead of myself. My head has been a mess and thoughts were wandering and..." she trailed off as Rachel climbed off the bed and walked over to her closet. "Where are you going?" Quinn asked meekly.

Rachel didn't reply, but when she came back out of her closet, Quinn felt herself relax when she saw Rachel hadn't got dressed. She apparently was not planning to leave her own home because of Quinn. Instead, she had a book clasped in her hand.

"What's that?"

Rachel dropped back onto her side of the bed and cuddled up nice and close to Quinn. "My year book from 2 years ago." She flicked the book open to the glee club page. "Look at how much of a geek I was." She passed the book to Quinn so she could get a better look.

"You don't look that bad-" she nearly choked on her words as she fully took in the image in front of her. "Wait, what the hell is with those sweaters?" She did her best not to chuckle but failed.

"Adorable aren't they?" Rachel mocked with her as she turned the page and found another grinning Rachel Berry in another club.

"And the knee socks," Quinn chuckled.

"And the skirts?" Rachel asked, pushing for the mockery so Quinn didn't feel so uneasy.

"They're not so bad," Quinn shrugged as she kept her head down, her eyes scanning yet another picture of the Rachel she never got to know.

Rachel just scoffed, "Really?"

"Well they show off your... legs," Quinn swallowed thickly with nervousness. "That's kinda hot."

"Are you saying I'm _kinda_ hot?" Rachel said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well you are my girlfriend." She finally met Rachel's gaze, "Am I not allowed to say that?"

"Well yeah you can say that but..." Now Rachel seemed to be the shy one. "I just didn't think you would."

"You're beautiful," the blonde girl said, loud enough for Rachel to hear this time. Not a whisper that could be quickly dismissed.

Rachel really couldn't take a compliment. "N-no, you, you are beautiful, I-I'm-" she spluttered messily.

Quinn bought a hand up to brush Rachel's hair out of her face. Cupping a cheek to calm her, she said gently, "Rach?"

"Yeah?" Rachel blinked lazily.

"We're being honest right?" She withdrew her hand and found Rachel's instead, enveloping the smaller girls hand within her own.

"Yeah." Rachel just nodded.

"Then let me tell you, you are beautiful." She leant in closer and kissed Rachel, cutting off any protests and conveying the truth in what she felt. When she was satisfied, she pulled away and turned her attention back to the yearbook. "Now, let's check out some more funny photos of a YesterBerry." She turned the page and quickly found another group photo that included Rachel. "Okay, can I ask? What is with this smile? It's the same in every photo."

Rachel peered down to see exactly which photo Quinn was looking at though she already knew what smile Quinn was asking about. "It's just..." she shrugged. "Rachel Barbra Berry, that's who she was. A poser, a stage sensation wannabe, a dreamer."

"What are your dreams now?" Quinn asked cautiously.

She answered quickly and unfiltered, "You." Her girlfriend froze as she turned another page, the paper stuck in her grip ready to be turned. Rachel scolded herself mentally. "Sorry, that was too much. I shouldn't say things like that."

"No, it's fine." Quinn dropped the page and relaxed. It hadn't been a horrible kind of shock that had made her pause, more of an excitement accompanied by a rush of mixed thoughts.

"I just don't want to pressure you, I know my feelings are..." the punk tried to find the right words, ones that wouldn't sound presumptuous, "Heavier than yours-"

"It's really fine Rach. I did just splutter out the idea of us having kids," she said, trying to laugh off her embarrassment but Rachel wasn't stupid. She could see right through it all. "Which I haven't really thought about much, it was just there on the tip of my tongue. Anyway, we're being honest right?"

"Yeah," Rachel agreed, suddenly feeling a little more at ease. "While we're being honest, I think you should know... you're my first girlfriend."

Quinn looked at her strangely, that couldn't be true. "But, you've been with girls and-"

"Yeah but I never had a relationship with the 6 or 7 girls I've hooked up with." She paused to clear her throat, again scolding herself. Quinn didn't need to know the number of her 'regulars'. "I liked them, I was attracted to them, but you're the first girl I had real feelings for," she tried to explain better. "I know that doesn't sound great but I mean it in the best way possible. Like, you're my first love and no pressure, it's just... so you know how much you mean to me."

Quinn nodded and forced herself to look at Rachel no matter how scared she suddenly felt. She took a deep breath before _finally_ saying, " I love you."

Rachel thought she was about to throw up. Throw up butterflies, maybe confetti… something. "Y-you do?"

"Yeah, I've wanted to tell you for-" Quinn thought back and it ate at her insides as she remembered exactly when she'd almost said it to her, "For some time now."

"How long?" Rachel pushed, wanting to know exactly how long she hadn't been alone with her feelings.

"When- when you w-were in your, um, coma. I sat there and I wanted to tell you so bad but I couldn't..." She felt Rachel put an arm around her as her breathing became shaky and she forced back tears. Tears caused by the memories of that time when she'd visit Rachel. "In case I didn't get to tell you in person," she finished but her voice was uncontrollably high pitched.

"Quinn," the brunette said sadly, pulling her girlfriend closer, cradling her almost, as she let it hit her. Quinn had cared for a long time.

The girl taking comfort in Rachel's arms sniffled, "I'm sorry. They're not sad tears, more like relieved tears I swear." She pulled away and wiped at her face.

"Hey, we're okay yeah," Rachel hushed. She hated seeing Quinn like this, especially over her.

"I could have lost you before I got you." She stroked Rachel's face again; the light innocent touches reminded her that this was all real, not another one of her hopeful dreams. "... And now I'm going all the way to Connecticut and... you're not going to be there," she sighed. "So what happens after we graduate?" she asked the question that had been on both their minds.

"Well... like you said," Rachel exhaled steadily, "You're going off to Yale... and I'll be here...and-"

"I could... I don't know, take a gap year," she suggested. It would give them enough time to build a stronger relationship and maybe give Rachel a chance to apply to different colleges. Possibly ones close to Yale, and then they could leave a year later-

"Don't you dare," Rachel halted all those thoughts. She couldn't have Quinn risk that; she might not get in a second chance. "You're going to Yale and… and that's just how it's going to be." She took Quinn's trembling hand off her face and threaded their fingers together.

"What does it mean for us? I just got you I don't want to let you go," Quinn breathed as she and Rachel slouched down into the bed together. Rachel took the book away and placed it on her bedside table before retuning her full attention back to her girlfriend.

"It doesn't mean we have to break up. I'm still yours... I'm more than willing to do the long distance thing," she suggested, already knowing it would be hard but she'd put in all the effort to keep Quinn.

"Good, we'll do that then," she agreed without hesitation.

"And once I find work, I can travel most weekends to meet you," Rachel added as they cuddled together again, Quinn cuddling into Rachel's side. "I mean not every weekend, you'll want your space."

"Not that much space," Quinn chuckled. Seeing Rachel once a week was a severe reduction in Rachel time, even in comparison to when they were just friends. "I'll travel home too of course."

"Okay." Rachel smiled at that; she didn't really want to give Quinn that much space.

"I mean I'll be home for all the holiday's," Quinn explained. She'd be home for them, minus part of the upcoming Christmas in which they'd already planned something.

"But you'll be making new friends so not every holiday," Rachel reminded; not wanting Quinn to feel obligated to visit so often. She needed to make new friends and have the typical college experience. "Like I doubt you'll want to come back here for Spring Break. And you've still got your fake ID, you could head down to Florida with your new friends instead."

"Maybe, or we could go together, with or without any new friends that I might make," Quinn added. She knew exactly what Rachel was doing. She wasn't trying to pull away. She was just trying to not smother Quinn.

"Yeah, maybe." She would have shrugged but Quinn was using her shoulder like a pillow. "The long distance thing won't be so bad though, I'll visit every chance I get and we'll video chat," Rachel thought aloud. "And I'll help you move into your dorm if you like. We could drive there together; maybe make it a trip in itself. I'm sure Judy will want to be there so she could go with us."

"I'd love that." Quinn kissed Rachel's throat, too tired to prop herself and kiss the girl properly. "Maybe not my mother being there," she added with a light laugh.

"Well maybe we can annoy my dad into going too. He can go with Judes in one car and we'll go in another. Between the two cars, we'll be able to hold most of your stuff," she compensated. There was no way Judy wouldn't want to be there and Rachel was sure she could get Leroy to do anything, even take a couple of days off work, to give them an extended weekend to make the trip.

"Sounds great," Quinn mumbled. Realizing sleep was close, Rachel stretched over to switch the bedside lamp off. They settled again, Rachel soaking in the warmth and comfort of just having Quinn close to her like this. They both settled and were close to sleep again when the blonde murmured into her collarbone, "Wait, 6 or 7?"

Quinn pulled away, propping herself up next to her girlfriend and looked down at her.

"6 or 7 what?" she furrowed her brow.

"You've been with 6 or 7 girls?"

"About that many I think." Quinn knew she'd hooked up with them more than once or even twice since her big change which had been only a little over a year ago. "But there wasn't any real feelings. I just hooked up with them when we both felt like it," she tried to excuse without sounding completely heartless.

"6 or 7 though," Quinn swallowed thickly, realizing what she had to live up to.

"I'm sorry," Rachel cringed. Though, she wasn't a hundred percent sure what she was sorry for and Quinn sensed that.

"No, it's just-" her fingers played with the edge of the bed sheet, "I've only been with one person, and only one time."

"I know," Rachel said simply.

"So..." Quinn bit her lip.

"When you're ready, we can talk and go from there," Rachel whispered. She could be more than understanding for Quinn right now. She'd once felt the same way and right now, she really didn't want to rush anything and scare Quinn off. She was still waiting on Quinn to have some sort of gay panic.

"Does that mean you're ready?" the blonde checked.

Rachel stared at the ceiling as she thought about it. "... No, not exactly," she decided. "We don't need to rush anything."

"Okay," Quinn whispered. She gave Rachel another light kiss before settling back down. "I'm going to miss you so much when I go to college," she sighed as she squeezed the smaller girl.

"We've got a lot to get through before then. Nationals, finals, graduation and then summer." Rachel sounded tired. Maybe it was the long day or all the things they had yet to do before she could spend a summer with her girlfriend. A summer that would probably be over before she knew it. "I still don't get it though."

"Get what?" Quinn breathed, tickling Rachel's neck with the rush of air.

"How you can have feelings for me," Rachel scoffed.

Quinn smirked to herself as she thought up the perfect answer, "Have you met you?"

"Hey!" Rachel grinned to herself, "That's my line."

* * *

><p><strong>... Let me know what you think... I think<strong>

**The Song was 'Beneath Your Beautiful' by Labrinth and Emeli Sandé.**


	24. Where I Sleep

**Okay, so I'm an awful person. I have declared myself retired, this just means don't get your hopes up. It's been over a year now, I got a job, worked hard, got a promotion two job titles higher than where I started, have to train a moron to replace me who makes me want to slam her head into her computer screen... basically life has changed. But I do feel bad for not finishing what I started like I promised.**

**I don't know who of you are still out there, I do apologise to Dizzle24 (if you ever read this) They did Beta the previous chapter for me for this fic, and said "sure, I can Beta the next one for you too" but hey, that was before I disappeared. So, thank you Dizzle24, it was muchly appreciated.**

**So to start with... here is the end of People Help the People:**

**Posted: 19/04/2015**

Where I Sleep

Quinn hadn't seen, let alone spoken, to her girlfriend in so long. And now they were finally talking face to face... through a computer. As soon as she saw Rachel on screen she went to say 'hello', but instead the first words that spilled from her mouth were, "You're too far away."

She saw Rachel pause before she reached forward and pulled the laptop towards her _"Is that better?"_

Quinn didn't have the heart to tell her she meant geographically, "Yeah, that's better."

It had been over a week since she'd moved into her dorm at Yale, with the help of her girlfriend, her mother, and her mother's best friend, who happened to be her girlfriends father... life had worked out strangely well over the past year. The summer that had just past had been especially unimaginable, starting with winning nationals and then both of them graduating, and graduating well.

Quinn realised as she looked at the live image of Rachel how she was jealous of Raven, who she could see curled up in the corner of the screen, her head tucked under Rachel's arm.

"I miss you," Quinn said suddenly. There was so much she could have spoken about, like her classes, her weirdly boring roommates, who she shared a common area and bathroom with. She thought there might be some characters in the group... maybe they were just as nervous as she was, and would get more interesting once they were settled.

"_It's only been 2 days since our last call," _Rachel reminded her.

"When are you visiting?" she asked impatiently. They hadn't had enough time together, the summer had been short, and even though they'd done all the cliché date things Rachel had said to do, minus the ice skating, they hadn't had enough time... Quinn had been hesitant, more than hesitant in Rachel's eyes, in the progress of their relationship. But it was still all real, the void Quinn was feeling right now reminded her of just how real all her feelings were.

"_In a couple of weeks,"_ Rachel told her, she sounded indifferent, as if she wasn't bothered, or she was just pretending to keep cool._ "You need to settle, get used to all your classes, and adjust. I don't want to be a distraction."_

"You're not a distraction, you're my girlfriend... and I want to see you, for real. And hold you." She admitted, almost shyly, as if any roommates might hear her and pry into her business. This was her private time with Rachel.

"_I miss you too, but I'm kind of busy,"_ Rachel cringed on the screen; she had to duck her head even, to avoid any look she imagined she'd see from Quinn.

"Too busy to see me?" she probably sounded as hurt as she felt.

"_Well I've been looking for work so I can make enough money to keep visiting you"_ she explained, making some guilt hit Quinn, she didn't mean to sound whiny or spoilt, she just really wanted Rachel nearby, like she used to be when she was just in the house next door.

"Oh right. How's that been going?" Quinn asked casually.

"_Interesting"_ Rachel answered with a positive tune, but it didn't give much away. _"You know I'll visit as soon as I can-"_

"You know I would come back if I could too" Quinn assured her girlfriend, knowing the situation was two sided and she didn't _have_ to wait for Rachel to show up.

"_I know,"_ She smiled before adding shyly, _"I love you."_ They didn't say it enough.

Quinn felt all warm and tingly when ever Rachel said those words to her, well, not the time she was drunk and had said it, it hadn't quite had the same effect back then, but each sober time the punk had said it, she just wanted to say it back. "I love you too."

They talked for a few hours, Rachel just wanted to hear about Quinn's latest experience, and how she was making friends, kinda. And Rachel told her about Raven and looking for work and all the opportunities she had found out about.

With many more comments of 'I miss you' and 'I love you' the girls finally disconnected their feed, so they could attempt to get back to their lives. At least it was already late at night, and they were both tired, so hopefully it wouldn't take long for them to fall asleep before the loneliness set in.

.

Rachel sighed to herself once the screen was blank. She looked around at the packed boxes, then back to the disconnected video call. She gently stroked Raven, the dog who was happily curled up next to her, taking Quinn's place on her bed. "I should have told her, Rae," she spoke softly to the dog, though really she was talking to herself. "Why couldn't I tell her?" she looked down at the fully grown, long haired, German shepherd, the dogs eyes met hers innocently.

"_Because you're a fraidy cat" _Rachel used that weird voice for her dog that Quinn had _told_ her many times to never use again.

"Thanks Raven... you're right though... she might hate this," she sighed again to herself. "Too late now," How could she have failed to tell Quinn something important, yet again?

...

Quinn chatted lightly with her new friends as she wandered out of the building. She'd just finished her second lecture of that Friday morning and was already drained. She barely got two steps out of the building when something in the courtyard caught her eye, and froze her to the spot.

"Quinn, you coming?" One of the guys in the group called to her when he saw she was getting left behind.

"Um, I'll catch up with you later." She replied absently, not even looking in the direction of her group of friend's. The group of four fellow Yale students all followed her line of sight. When their eyes fell on what she was looking at they wondered why they didn't notice before. There was a girl in the courtyard, in jeans and a leather jacket, a pink streak in her hair, flowers in her hand and a dark German shepherd on a leash, just standing there. And she really shouldn't have a dog on these premises; all the new students were pretty sure that was frowned upon.

The brunette finally looked away from her furry companion and her eyes locked onto Quinn's. She couldn't help but immediately beam when she saw Quinn looking back at her.

"Rachel?" Quinn started forward, slowly, then quickly as she was drawn towards the centre of the courtyard type area, "Oh my god. It is you," she sighed as she fell forward, wrapping her arms round her girlfriend. She only got a one armed hug back that nearly chocked Raven as the arm was restricted by the leash, and Rachel's other arm was still holding flowers.

"Of course it's me, told you'd I'd visit," Rachel sighed back as she nuzzled a little into Quinn's neck, just taking in the simple contact.

Quinn pulled away again but her arms didn't leave her girlfriend. "Yes but that was two days ago when we last spoke. I thought it would be weeks until I saw you again."

"Well I'm here now, is that okay?" She asked with a little caution.

"Of course it's okay," Quinn really couldn't help all the smiling right now. "How did you know where I'd be?" She asked as she searched her girlfriend's eyes.

"You told me your timetable and where all your classes were, several times." It hadn't been as easy as she'd made out, she remembered the building's Quinn had mentioned, but finding that damn building and hoping she was standing near the correct exit hadn't been easy. She'd got many weird looks from other students and then some luck that she was standing by the right door.

"And you actually remembered?"

"It's my job as your girlfriend to remember," she bit her lip shyly as she released the other girl and moved her other arm getting Quinn to back away. "These are for you by the way," she offered the flowers forward.

"Thank you." She smiled at the flowers and then looked beyond them to the dog patiently whimpering in excitement of seeing her friend. "And you brought Raven?"

"Yeah, she missed you too." Rachel said honestly, because she was sure the dog really had missed Quinn, though not as much as she had.

She crouched down to greet the dog, scratching her head as she used a silly voice. "I missed you, puppy." Raven would always be a puppy to Quinn, a big soft puppy. She stood up again to talk to her girlfriend directly again. "How comes you're here?"

"Well, we need to talk," Rachel suddenly sounded very serious, making the smile on Quinn's face drop just a little.

"Oh, okay." Quinn adopted a serious tone too, one that didn't get missed by the shorter girl.

"Not anything bad, at least I hope it isn't a bad thing," Rachel rushed to assure her, "Could you spare us some time?"

"Sure, my next class isn't until three." Quinn nodded eagerly.

"Great." Rachel was short with her words as her nervousness grew.

.

Quinn took them to one of the off campus coffee shops that had seating outside. They ordered a couple of coffees and a bowl and water for Raven. Though they had talked all the way there it was mostly about Quinn and her new life, and while she didn't mind talking about that, something was niggling at her insides knowing Rachel had something to say. "So what's up?" She hoped to keep it light so Rachel might relax.

Rachel seemed to release a breath she was holding, she met Quinn's eyes hesitantly as she confessed. "I got a job."

Quinn smiled, though inside she was wondering why Rachel was so nervous... was she moving further away? "That's really great. Where?" The blonde encouraged

The brunette sipped her coffee cautiously as she readied her next confession. "Near here, small photography studio, pays well. I'll be assistant to one of the photographers." She didn't quite meet Quinn's gaze that time, so she missed the smile growing on her girlfriends face.

"Near here? As in, close to the college?" Quinn asked, hopeful.

"Yeah," When Rachel had been selected for an interview and then got the job she wasn't sure how she felt. At first she thought the idea was great, but then she worried that Quinn would hate it. She had to explain herself, "Quinn, I don't like being away from you, I just woke up every morning terrified that you'd say the long distance thing was too much and you didn't want to try this anymore."

Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand on the table top, enveloping it with her own. "Yeah the long distance thing is hard but it was temporary," she assured Rachel. They'd been through a lot she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"3 or 4 or more years, maybe, depending on what you want to do after you graduate." Rachel pointed out. She'd been stuck at home with very little to do except think. "That's not exactly temporary is it?"

"No, but I wasn't going to let you go easily." Quinn assured her, hating how worried Rachel looked right now. They both had their insecurities in their relationship, but Quinn didn't realise just how insecure Rachel was sometimes. "So you're living near here too? Can't imagine it's a great commute from Lima," she joked lightly, hoping to move the conversation along.

Rachel smiled; she squeezed at Quinn's hand as she leaned in to continue with a better conversation. "Yeah, my dad helped me out with rent for accommodation until after I get a few pay checks. We realised him helping me out like that was still a hell of a lot cheaper than college, so he was happy to help."

Quinn furrowed her brow, she hoped Rachel wasn't making sacrifices for her, "But Rach, that's not how you should live your life, you should go to school, or start your travel plans."

"I don't want to go to school Quinn, and the travel, I want to do that with you..." she searched for the right words, ones that wouldn't terrify Quinn, "forgive me but I want to be close to you, I know I should have spoken to you about it first but-"

"It's a lovely surprise." Quinn cut her off.

"Really?" Rachel checked, "I don't want to mess things up for you by being on your doorstep"

"We should have talked, you could have tried to go to Yale with me." Quinn suggested as she sipped at her coffee.

Rachel just shrugged, it hadn't not occurred to her, "I thought of applying, but let's face it there was a dip in my grades before I moved to Lima, and my attitude to school, it just wouldn't have worked out. Besides this is your thing, my trying to go there too really would have been too much."

"Maybe... maybe not," Quinn shrugged, "Maybe it would have been nice to be at the same college."

"You need your own things Quinn, and I have mine now. If you saw me all day everyday you'd hate me," she chuckled lightly making Quinn smile too, though she was sure that wouldn't have been the case. "Anyway this is good, I'm going to be making money now, so I was thinking maybe after a year if everything's still working out between us you could move in with me, there's space and-"

"Rach-"

"Oh god, I'm not trying to scare you off, I'm not," The brunette rambled, she knew this conversation would end up being too much too fast, "I'm just thinking ahead, I'm sorry if I'm going too far and-"

"No, no I'm just..." She took Rachel's hand again, she wasn't afraid of anyone seeing, she felt brave when Rachel was by her side, "Yes this is a lot to take in, you just show up and drop this bombshell, but I'm not scared, I'm really not," she sounded surprised, "I love you Rach, and yes if everything works out I'd love to move in with you."

"Really?" Rachel checked, mostly because of the surprise that Quinn had said she'd like to.

"Yeah, I really would." Quinn said encouragingly with a nod

"Okay, good." Rachel visibly relaxed back into her chair.

"So, when do I get to see your place?" And maybe her future place.

"How about dinner, my place tonight?" It was a Friday after all, perfect opportunity for a date night.

"Sounds great." And they hadn't had a date in a number of weeks, which was made worse by the fact they had spent their whole summer together.

"Great, I'll pick you up from your dorm." Rachel agreed, she hoped her cooking skills would be up to scratch tonight.

"Do you remember which one it is?" Quinn had to ask, even though Rachel had been there to help her move into her dorm in the first place.

"Yeah I think so." It could get a bit confusing sometimes but she was sure she remembered where to find Quinn's room.

"Shame Raven is with us, otherwise I could have shown you my dorm, and maybe my roommates would have shown up..." Rachel thought she was going to let the comment linger there, but something in Quinn's eyes said different. She leaned in a little closer to say into Rachel's ear "and maybe they wouldn't have, so we'd have been alone... until my next class."

Rachel was silent, she just raised an eyebrow at the blonde, which spoke loudly to her.

"Oh-uh not like that," she laughed nervously, "Yet," she added before adjusting what she had said with one word, "Soon."

"Soon?" Rachel asked, that eyebrow still quirked.

"Maybe," was added with hesitance. It wasn't that she didn't want to it was just that she was nervous... Rachel had a comparison after all

"You tease." Rachel joked lightly. Quinn had teased her all summer after all.

Quinn swallowed thickly, "Not this time." She muttered before clearing her throat and moving on, "Um, do you want to check out the area, I could show you all the good off campus places."

Rachel finished her coffee and pocketed the bottle of water for Raven, before nodding and saying, "Lead the way."

"I'd show you the campus, but we can't with Raven." She was happy to see Raven though, so she wasn't complaining, she could show Rachel round some other time.

"Yeah I know, a lot of people were giving me dirty looks while I was waiting for you." She chuckled. She didn't care, Raven was better behaved than some of the students, she had no reason to worry and neither should they.

"Maybe another time." Quinn suggested.

"Yeah, I'd like to see what your life is like now." Rachel agreed. Plus it wasn't every day a beautiful young lady wanted to show her round one of the top universities in the country.

"So when does your job start?" Quinn asked as she took Rachel's hand and they started walking where ever she could lead them.

"Next week, Monday..."

...

A few months later: Winter

Just as had been promised on the night of their first date, they did attempt an ice skating double date with Santana and Brittan, in the most cliché of cliché spots to ice skate, in front of the Rockefeller Centre. But while couples and children skated round with skill and grace, Rachel's knees and gloved hands met the unforgiving coldness and hardness of the ice for only the seventh time that early evening.

"Oh my god, she is hopeless," Santana sighed with embarrassment as she watched Rachel attempt to stand only to never actually get off her knees. Brittany leant in against her girlfriend, her hands wrapped around her cup of hot chocolate. Santana still held the tray with the other three cups. They'd had enough of ice skating and watching Rachel humiliate herself in the name of love, so they'd wandered off to get refreshments and leave Quinn to skate rings round her girlfriend.

They watched as Quinn skated over to Rachel and ground to a halt in front of the helpless punk brunette. She offered her hands to her and quickly helped her up. Only, as soon as Rachel was up right again her feet were picking different directions and sliding away from her. Her eyes widened comically as she grabbed Quinn, twirling them round as she regained her balance. The blonde could only laugh as Rachel finally relaxed and smiled too, relieved she wasn't meeting the ice face to face again.

"Yeah but they looks so happy," Brittany added with a warm smile as the onlookers just watched their friends, "They're gonna be together forever, I just know it."

Santana smiled, but then suddenly felt so unsure of herself... she looked at Brittany, though her blonde wasn't looking back. "Are we gonna be together forever?" she asked timidly... a word that could only ever be used to describe her when she was with Brittany.

Brittany just looked back at her with the same warm smile she'd been wearing all evening, "I sure hope so." She really liked the idea of her and Santana being a forever deal.

Meanwhile the couple still on the ice were finally over their giggles.

"When you said you were hopeless I didn't believe you." Quinn chuckled some more as she held onto Rachel, but only half as tightly as Rachel held onto her.

"Well, I've proved it now." The brunette smiled, before she felt her feet slip again. she tensed her whole body, making it impossible to bend her knees.

Quinn noticed the spectator-ing pair on the side lines and nodded to them for Rachel's sake, "Looks like Sans got our drinks, come on," She let go of Rachel to clasp onto just one of Rachel's arms "Hold tight," Quinn warned with a chuckles as she started gliding on the ice and taking them back to the side lines. Rachel had already wondered if this was really Quinn's first time skating as she had said, but Rachel never bothered asking when it was Quinn who kept saving her out on the ice.

Once they were back to the edge of the rink Rachel had something else to hold onto, and once they were at the opening of the rink Rachel was able to clamber off the ice and over to a bench.

"My hero," She kissed Quinn quickly as they sat down together.

"_My_ hero," Quinn laughed as she kissed Rachel back. No one else could take that much abuse on the ice just to stay out there longer with Quinn.

"Okay enough you two or you're gonna put me off my hot chocolate," Santana grumbled as she and Brittany rejoined the other pair.

...

A few more months later: Summer

"Oh my god you have so much stuff" Rachel groaned as she searched for the limits of the doorway to the apartment in front of her. The current box in her arms was blocking her view, and she'd already had enough fun on the several trips up the stairs, trying to keep hold of the boxes and not trip over Raven who was weaving round her feet the entire time.

"Hey, this was your idea," Quinn did point out as she took the latest box from her girlfriend and put it with some of the others.

"I know but..." her eyes widened once her view was clear, "holy crap, how did all this fit in your dorm?" She asked as she realised just how many boxes they'd moved.

"Some of it was in storage," Quinn shrugged as she went back the open box on the cluttered table and continued unpacking some of her books.

"So why isn't it still in storage?"

"Because you have more space here" she shrugged again. Quinn then paused and cautiously peered back over her shoulder. "Are you regretting it?" She asked meekly.

"Never," Rachel just grinned as she closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around Quinn from behind. She softly kissed her cheek, "... Does seem kinda redundant though."

"What does?" Quinn asked with a furrowed brow as she looked to the side, to try and meet her girlfriends gaze.

Rachel sighed, "Getting all your stuff moved in, getting you settled and then in three days we're taking a two week vacation."

Quinn abandoned the books in her hand, placing them back int he box so she could turn in her girlfriends arms, "Seems perfect timing to me, once we get back I'll be all moved in and we'll be... home," she smiled as she bowed her head a little, pressing her forehead against Rachel's.

"Our home," the shorter girl mumbled before she kissed Quinn softly.

"Our first home," Quinn muttered shyly once they had pulled away.

"I sure hope so." Rachel sighed with contentment as she pulled her head back, so she could look at Quinn properly.

"We're meant to be Rach, I just know it," Quinn sounded so sure and confident, and truthfully she'd only ever felt like this around Rachel. Even when she had been head cheerio, ruling high school, she felt so vulnerable. It wasn't until senior year when she everything she felt... felt real. "We're two halves of a whole." She added, because it may have sounded stupid but it was how she felt.

"And a whole lot of great," Rachel added with a lip biting grin. Everything between them could get so mushy and terrible, but they were happy.

Quinn let the awful line slide, her happiness brain washing her for a moment so she could say: "I love you."

"I love you too, so much." Rachel confessed an easy confession before kissing Quinn again, not chaste like the moments before, and not to heavy, but just enough to not ruin a moment.

"Eww, get a room," Leroy teased as he walked into the room carrying a box... a box smaller than the one he had delegated for Rachel to carry up the 3 flights of stairs.

Judy was only a second behind him, with a wheeled suitcase, and a comment of her own, "Leroy, you're so mean. Leave them, they're happy."

Rachel peeled away from her girlfriend to glare at her father for ruining a possible moment. "And this is our room, they're all our rooms." She declared proudly, after all she was the sole rent payee now, it had been a year since she had moved in.

The father grimaced as he settled the box he was carrying on top of another. "I hope you don't mean that in a certain way."

The older blonde in the room looked between her daughter who had turned away but who's ear tips were turning read, and the father daughter duo who were having a strange starting contest. "What are you talking about?"

Leroy, her closest friend, shielded her from something she didn't need to know about. "You don't want to know."

"Oh." The mother just said... with partial realisation.

Rachel was quick to move the conversation along. "Is that the last of the boxes?"

"I believe so." Leroy sounded relived, his part f the deal was over, they'd helped Quinn move her stuff in, it wasn't his job to unpack too.

"Did anyone else notice how its Quinn's stuff but she carried the least?" The short brunette asked as she looked at the stack of boxes, odd items that hadn't fit into boxes, and the couple of suitcases and bags.

Quinn was soon defending herself once Rachel had made the accusation. "I was organising where the boxes should go."

"It's a damn good thing I love you," Rachel tugged Quinn's hand getting her to drop her books once more, and fall against Rachel.

"Ugh, please girls, at least wait until I take Judy out for a lunch break." Leroy begged, not that he didn't love seeing his daughter happy but he and Judy didn't need to see them making out

Moving in day for Quinn and Rachel had both been marked on their calendars, and not crazy matching cat calendars but Quinn had her calendar in her phone... and Rachel had her mental calendar... and maybe a few magnetic letters and numbers on the fridge that she had used to countdown the days.

"So show me your plans for this road trip," Judy asked, distracting them all from the harrowing thoughts of if they had to help do the unpacking.

"Sure, here, Rachel drew our route out on a map." She moved some of her stuff out of the way on the dining table and unfolded one of the several road maps they had bought... because apparently just a GPS system for the car wasn't interesting or adventurous enough... or secure enough.

"Of course she did," Leroy muttered under his breath as he helped move a few more boxes. It was the least he could do; at least it wasn't hard to guess that the boxes labelled kitchen needed to go to the kitchen. So he moved them to the counter space in the kitchen area of the open planned living space.

"Hey, planning is important with these things," they brunette punk defended when she heard her father's mumblings. She then perked up though when she thought of something, "That reminds me I still need to print some things off."

She went over to her computer, squeezing past Quinn and Judy who's backs were to desk that Rachel had temporarily moved out into the living space, while she had put more shelving up in the small second bedroom which had become an office space. It had all been in preparation for Quinn's books, for her classes, and her casual reading.

As she sat at the computer, finding the documents she wanted to print, she remembered she needed to ask Quinn about one of the items on their vacation schedule. "Hey, babe," Rachel reached blindly behind her and found Quinn's jean clad ass, she patted it lightly to grab her girlfriends attention... but something didn't feel right... and the room had grown silent. She slowly looked back and looked at where her hand was... on Judy's jean clad ass. She froze, Judy was looking at her over her shoulder with a mocking smile, while Quinn and Leroy were struggling to stay silent, when they just wanted to laugh. She finally pulled her hand away, and gave the older blonde an apologetic look "Judy, I'm _so_ sorry."

"Don't be, that's the most action I've seen in a while," she teased, making Rachel turn an even darker shade of red than she already was.

"Mom!" Quinn yelped, her laughter gone and her cheeks reddening too.

"Um-I, um, I'll just go take this box through to the, uh, office." Rachel excused herself, grabbing the half box of books off the table and retreating into another room with her humiliation.

She wasn't allowed to suffer in silence though as her father was quickly shadowing her. Not to humiliate her further though, he just needed some private time to talk to her. He closed the door behind him, just wanting the privacy. "Can I talk to you a sec?"

When she looked up at him she furrowed her brow, he wasn't laughing at her he looked worried and serious. "Dad, what's wrong?"

"It's about me and your father." He muttered shamefully. Though things weren't smooth for Rachel and Hiram they were a lot better, she was tolerant of his existence, he was still somewhat distance but more due to guilt of his attitude towards her in the years before. He was mostly apologetic to her though. Maybe one day she'd let his suffering to appease her end... maybe not.

She found herself worried in that moment though, thinking of what could have happened between her fathers. Was Hiram taking away Leroy's rights to see his other children, "What?"

He fought with himself for a moment before almost reluctantly confessing, "...We kissed"

"You did, when?" She almost found herself smiling, she never liked the thought that she had been the reason Leroy was single, and if he still loved his former husband, despite his flaws, that was okay by Rachel.

"Christmas." Another almost reluctant confession spilled from his mouth.

"That was ages ago!" She exclaimed, a little hurt he hadn't told her sooner. "Wait is that why you were being really awkward?" she remembered how they had barely made eye contact for the rest of that day.

"Maybe" He wasn't exactly giving away much.

"But that was so long ago" "So what's happened recently?"

"He called, wants me to join them more often, a couple of weekends or something, with the kids, and... there might be something there." He shrugged, she felt like she was talking with a teenager about a school boy crush, not her own dad.

"Really?" she sounded more than surprised.

"Yeah. I'm not saying we're going to be back together soon, but... maybe one day. Would you hate that?" He checked with her, it didn't mean that he was choosing anyone over here, he'd never do that, but if they could work back to what they had would it have been so horrible.

"No, definitely not... Just- nothing," She stopped herself before she thought too far ahead, it was something she and Quinn had a bad habit of lately.

"No, what?" Leroy encouraged her, suddenly further concerned that he'd have to assure her he wasn't leaving her, he couldn't.

"Just, don't leave Judy behind in Lima, you two need each other." She asked carefully, se liked that Leroy had her as a friends, and she liked that he had bought out a better person in Judy, and that had been good for Quinn too... they were family now and would be forever no matter what transpired between the dating girls.

"Don't worry, I won't. If anything they'll be moving to Lima." He chuckled. Judy had been his rock, and at some point his project, steering her away from alcohol, getting her a job, and all it took was being their for her.

"Really?" Of course there was more surprise from Rachel

"Yeah," He nudged her playfully with his elbow, "look how good moving there turned out for you and me."

"True." She couldn't deny that after all the bad that had happened, where they ended up in Lima sure had perked like up again.

"Besides, we don't want to alienate your future mother in law." He teased lowly

"Dad!" She let out a shrieked whisper, not wanting the women in the other room to hear.

"What?" he met her shriek defensively, "You can't deny that that is a realistic possibility for the future."

She ducked her head and started sorting through Quinn's books... though it was pointless because Quinn would just rearrange them later anyway, "...Maybe." she muttered in half agreement

"So you've got it all planned?" He took a seat in armchair in the corner, a quaint piece Rachel had saved for so Quinn would have somewhere comfortable to read and study when she was there.

"No," she shot a glare at her father, did he think she was crazy? "She'd freak out even if I mentioned I was even thinking about it..." she swallowed thickly, nervous about something that wasn't even on the horizon, "Maybe I'll go cliché and ask when she graduates... but then that feels wrong, she finally stops being a slave to Yale and then I ask her to be mine."

He leant forward in his chair with a knowing smirk painted on his face, "She's already yours and she doesn't seem to mind one bit. Just see when it feels right, yeah?" He half suggested, but didn't immediately encourage, they were both so young, it wasn't something they needed to think about.

"Yeah." She nodded... hating that she thought about it so much.

"And when you are ready and looking for a ring, let me know," He spoke again, getting her attention, "I've got some of my grandmother's jewellery, yes that old." He chuckled and she laughed too "And I'm not saying any of it is worth a huge amount, and most of it is too big for you or Quinn to wear, grandma was a big lady, but maybe we could reuse some of the stones, you could even design something."

Her eyes widened in surprise at the most generous offer, "Dad... that's so sweet, you'd really let me destroy your Grandmother's jewellery?" she laughed nervously.

"Well its quite dated, and not in style, no one is going to wear it Rach..." he shrugged, he hadn't inherited much from any of his grandparents, but he was the only male blood relative, and he believed there was some cruel joke from his family members when he'd received the box, but he had taken it nonetheless and looked after it until it had a use, "I wanted to do something special with it... and Quinn is very special."

"She is to me. I mean I still worry things might not last but... if that's the case, I'm just going to enjoy this while I can." She smiled bravely. But Leroy hated to think that she was already imagining an end.

"I wouldn't worry honey," he tried to encourage her doubts away, "And, as for the other thing, you will warn me, won't you. Just so I can get all excited before you actually ask." There was some more teasing but he meant what he said too.

She bit her lip so she wouldn't smile too brightly and gave in to his teasing, "Well, I'll be needing Judy's permission first, so maybe she'd tell you before I get the chance."

"You're so sweet, Quinn's a lucky girl." He couldn't help but mock.

"You have to say that, you're my dad." She rolled her eyes and turned away, back to the pointless sorting.

"It's true though," he said with seriousness, "So proud of you." He mumbled shyly, getting her to look back at just so she could roll her eyes at him once more.

.

Back in the open plan living area Quinn was putting away the maps after showing Judy some of where they hoped to go on their short vacation.

"So, how are things with you and Rachel, are you happy?" After the times Judy had let her daughter down she always wanted to make sure she was happy now. She hoped that her daughter and Rachel were still getting along.

"So happy, is that stupid?" She peered at her mom cautiously.

"No, why would it be stupid?"

"Just I sometimes wonder if this is all too happy..." she abandoned the map, putting it back with the others, just as Rachel liked to keep them, "but then I just remember that sometimes she infuriates me, she can be so stubborn and we just end up arguing but... I love that..." she smiled to herself "because it means we're normal and... we're not perfect. And moving in together is a big step but if this works, I really think we'll last."

Judy just smirked, she couldn't help but tease, it was something had was more familiar and prone to do since Leroy had become her friend. "So have you set a date?"

"A date?" Quinn just furrowed her brow as she looked to Judy standing next to her.

"Yes, a date." She played innocent as she let her daughter stew on her words.

"Mom! We're not getting married," Quinn just shook her head and escaped the proximity of her embarrassing mother.

"Not yet anyway." Judy muttered as Quinn walked away.

Quinn turned back sharply, a most serious expression across her face, "Why, has Rachel said something?" It was too early, it had only been a year, she knew Rachel had been more invested than her in the beginning but surely it didn't mean that already.

"No, no," she brushed off lightly as she met her daughters expectant gaze, "I'm- I was just thinking... would you ask her?"

"I don't know..." Quinn bowed her head and shrugged, "maybe, if I felt the time was right, if I thought she was ready too but was being hesitant on my behalf."

"Like Prom?" Judy asked with a knowing smile

"Yeah like Prom," Quinn smiled too, that night could have gone better.

It wasn't long before the Leroy was out of the office room and getting Judy's attention. "Come on Judy, we need a break from those two."

"Oh, you really are taking me to lunch?" She looked to him surprised; she thought it had just been a joke before.

"Of course." He grabbed his jacket and passed her her's as they headed for the door.

"We're not invited?" Rachel called after them as she peeked out of the other room too.

"You're the reason we're going." He retorted playfully making his daughter narrow her eyes at him.

Quinn just laughed lightly, and called after them, "Have fun!" as soon as the door was shut she was back to organising her stuff, it wasn't comfortable to move around with the floor space so cluttered. She really did wonder how they had fit that much in two cars between Lima and Yale, and then from her dorm to Rachel's apartment. She felt eyes watching her though, so her wonderment faded, "What?" she asked when she met Rachel's gaze.

She was leaning in the doorway, arms folded, as she watched Quinn fondly. "Nothing," she dismissed lightly.

Quinn dropped what she was doing and narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend. "No there's something, what is it?"

"Just..." the brunette pushed off the doorway and wandered across the living space, "we're here, you and me, living together, alone."

"I know," Quinn sighed with contentment as she wrapped her arms around Rachel and held her close, "...And I still have to unpack" she said after a few moments had passed.

"I know," she sighed too but with reluctance before she pulled away, "let's get it out of the way."

"Really?" Quinn was more than surprised that Rachel didn't want to christen the moment with a make out session or more.

"Yeah, then it's done and you're here and you can't run away as easily." Besides later they'd be sure their parents weren't returning, they'd be at their hotel for the night, so they could do what they wanted then.

"That's not going to happen" She chuckled, but let Rachel go, it was better to get the unpacking out of the way.

Rachel went over to the computer and started a playlist of music, something for the back ground while they organised Quinn's life into Rachel's.

"There should be room for all your books, I put another book case in the office for you," the brunette commented as she started to move more "books" boxes towards the office door. She could move the computer back in there later.

"You did?" She asked surprised, she didn't want Rachel to go to any extra trouble for her but she was glad she did.

"Yeah, there was space and these are going to need a home, so I bought a second unit." Rachel shrugged like it was nothing.

"You're the best." The book shelf so far came third to being her friend that summer they met, and building her a ramp when she was in a wheel chair.

"You can thank me properly later." She winked over her shoulder before continuing to work. With the music playing in the background it was only pure Rachelness that she started singing along.

"_There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow  
>There's nothing that I won't do for your kiss<br>I love you like there's no tomorrow  
>Cause' nothing ever felt like this"<em>

She grabbed Quinn's hand and yanked her in close. "Rach" Quinn couldn't help but chuckle at the surprise of it all. Her hands found themselves on Rachel's shoulders as the brunette placed her own on Quinn's hips, they instantly found themselves swaying to the music

"_There's nothing I won't steal or borrow  
>I'll travel on a boat or aeroplane<br>I'll explore a world of sorrow  
>Cause' when I find you I know, I know Imma be okay"<em>

They continued to sway as Raven, who had been snoozing int eh corner until the music had woken her, joined them by walking round their feet.

"_See the times are changing  
>And I'm sure of nothing that I know<br>Except this is us, and this is love, and this is where I'm home"_

Quinn stopped the flow of words by dropping a kiss to Rachel's lips, it wasn't that she didn't want to hear Rachel sing, it was just that she wanted the kiss more.

"I'm sorry our vacation couldn't be any longer," Rachel said when they pulled apart. It wasn't something they needed to speak about right now but it was something she had thought of, "Just, I have to get back to work and-"

"Rach, I don't care how long it is, I'm just looking forward to two weeks, you me and Raven, no school, no work," it was going to be a good break form everything that was so 'everyday', "and I know it's nowhere near the size road trip you wanted to go on but-"

"We could go on various smaller trips. Or maybe go on a bigger one after you graduate?" Rachel suggested, not wanting to sound in anyway presumptuous.

"What about work for you?" she knew Rachel worked hard but she didn't get much vacation time, she didn't want her spending a year's worth in one interval.

"We'll see," she shrugged, she didn't know what would be happening in 3 years, or what they'd be doing within that time or after that time. "Can we talk serious for a minute?" She song finished so she stopped swaying and while the next song started up she turned to another thought.

"I thought we already were." Quinn chuckled, its not as if their talks ever got more serious than work and university.

"We were talking about fun... I want to discuss an idea with you." They settled on the sofa so they could relax for a moment while Rachel confessed something new to Quinn.

"Sure, what is it?" The blonde could only encourage.

"I've been thinking, and for the past 10 months at the studio where I've been working, I've really been getting into the whole process... and well... I want to apply to community college to take a few classes."

"Really? That's fantastic!" She didn't want Rachel to be stuck somewhere dead end, any way to further her career or schooling was fine by Quinn.

"You're okay with me doing that then?" Rachel checked, though her girlfriend wasn't sure why.

"You don't need to ask my permission if that's what you mean, I want to happy and to succeed. Rach... do what is going to make you happiest."

...

Maybe another year later.

In bed one night, Quinn couldn't sleep, she was restless with thoughts of her impending finals, and the idea that her final year could be following... as long as she didn't much anything up. The only thing that calmed her was watching the brunette lying next to her breathe. It was peaceful and silent... and dark but she could still see. Raven was sleeping on the floor the other side of Rachel, and she was snoring though that noise was less peaceful.

"You're thinking too loudly." Rachel murmured, her eyes still closed.

"No I'm not." Quinn muttered defensively.

"Why are you watching me sleep?" Rachel then opened her eyes to find Quinn looking back at her, fully awake.

"Because you're so damn sweet," she teased, "am I not allowed?"

Even with Rachel so sleepy she was able to smirk as she shuffled to get more comfortable. "I'd prefer it if you woke me up so we could tire each other out."

Quinn just let the comment slide, "... Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, what's wrong?" In the dark she saw Rachel furrow her brow and look to her.

"Nothing is wrong, I just... I've always wondered, and I think I know the answer, but I want to ask you. What do your star tattoo's mean. I know you, you didn't get them for no reason... so what are they to you?"

"I think you know... this one" she slipped the spaghetti strap of her vest over so Quinn had an unobstructed view of her shoulder front... not that she needed it "That's for Abby, and the wrist, that's just for me. I guess at the time I was thinking about how I felt, she was a star, close to my heart... and the wrist well I guess I can move that... feel closer to her or like most of the time, I feel further away," she explained sleepily, "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No I think you're sweet," Quinn said softly into the dully lit room, "Will you get any more?"

"I'm thinking of getting two more little stars... for my little brother and sister. Just on the back of my shoulder... maybe one for my dad too... he's been there for me every step of the way." Rachel mused aloud.

"Sounds sweet," and she meant in the same way she found Rachel sweet.

"I hear getting tattoos for... people you're in a relationship with is a bad idea." A really really bad idea, like that guy she'd read about that had his girlfriends name tattooed across the side of his head... only for the inevitable to happen and then he'd had it covered up with an even less subtle tribal scorpion design... what was even worse was when they're was a repeat experience for the other side of his head. So he had two exes and two scorpions.

"... Yeah, nothing worse than getting someone's name tattooed on you and then them leaving you," Quinn laughed, even if she was sure as sure that Rachel and her were a done deal... nothing could be guaranteed, "What would you think about getting... if you wanted to do something dumb?"

"Maybe another star..." she held her wrist up and traced it where she thought it might go, "a smaller one next to this one"

"Or a star inside that one," Quinn halted her words, "Oh wait that sounds-"

"I'll be sensible for a minute." Rachel muttered sleepily, but still managing to keep her eyes open.

"Okay... a star inside that one, and if for some weird reason this doesn't work out then you could just get it coloured in." Quinn half suggested. It wasn't that she wanted Rachel to scar herself for her, she was just feeling a little left out.

"Huh... kinda like all my lights going out," Rachel mused, it was darkly true that she imagined what Quinn leaving her would feel like... and she hated that she could imagine that in the first place. "I wouldn't want you left out but what if-"

"Get it, and I'll never leave you," Quinn laughed but that was only so she could hide her disappoint when she was sure Rachel would say it was a bad idea

"You can't make promises like that." Rachel laughed too, not wanting their conversation to turn tower.

"I know I shouldn't, I'm just jealous" they laughed together that time. Rachel shuffled onto her back and opened up her arm, encouraging Quinn in for a cuddle, "How about... no it's stupid." The blonde dismissed her own idea before her girlfriend could

"What? ... what if we waited, if we made it a certain amount of time, then we could both get one." Rachel planted her own idea as she felt Quinn cuddle into her side.

"Sounds like an idea... maybe," though that hadn't been where Quinn was aiming; it probably was the most sensible of all the suggestions possible. It wasn't like either of them were crazy for tattoos either, but wasn't it sometimes just something people did, for a bucket list.

Rachel pushed herself to sit up a little and looked down at Quinn properly, "What aren't you telling me?" She asked with narrowed suspicious eyes.

"What?" The blonde looked up at her perfectly innocent.

"You can keep many things from me, Miss Quinn Fabray, but not everything. What is it you're hiding?" Her accusation was fairly playful but it didn't let Quinn feel any less stupid for what she was about to admit.

Quinn propped herself up onto her elbow, "Don't be mad, it was an impulse and I know I chickened out when we first started hanging out, I wouldn't get that little heart you suggested, so we did the whole fake one on my back but..."

Rachel's eyebrow rose together in realisation, "You got one?"

"Don't be mad, just a little one" she raised her pyjama top slightly, to show a little star on the top of her hip, "I just..."

"Is that for me?" She was already smiling, so she hoped Quinn didn't deny it.

"Yeah, I thought if the worst happened between us it's just a star I can try and pretend it doesn't mean anything or just remember the fond times we had and think of that. And it's starting to get really itchy-" Rachel cut off her nervous rambling with a kiss.

"You scarred yourself for me?" The way she worded it it was a wonder that she was so happy.

"Yeah, sorry." Quinn shrugged, she'd regretted it about halfway through the job but it was too late to take back the inking by then.

"No it's sweet, I have to get one now, I'll get a second star next to the wrist one." She definitely had to prove her commitment was as big as her girlfriends in this relationship.

"You don't have to." Quinn assured her as she settled back to lie down.

"No, I want to," Rachel said with whole hearted honesty, "I just wasn't going to because I thought you'd think it was dumb." She explained, she didn't want to leave Quinn out either, "But now that you've done something dumb too it makes it okay." She joked, but it earned her a slap to her bicep. She then felt the bed shift as Quinn turned over, keeping her back to her girlfriend.

Rachel just rolled her eyes to herself at Quinn's dramatics. She then slipped her arms round Quinn and pulled her back to the middle of the bed, Quinn letting out a surprised yelp as she did. In Rachel's arms she didn't find it so difficult to sleep anymore.

...

Quinn's Graduation day

Quinn had three people present to watch her receive her diploma, and they were the only three people she wanted to be there. Judy, Leroy, and Rachel found seats quite quickly, but timing wasn't on Rachel's mind at that point. When Leroy excused himself to scope out the area and see if he could spot the graduators any time soon... so he was being nosey, just as Rachel had accused as he'd walked away.

In that time though, while Rachel was left alone with Judy she realised it was a perfect moment to ask a question. She just needed to find the courage first. She rung her hands as she sat watching the other proud relatives of the nervous people today.

She reigned in all her courage, but she couldn't meet Judy's eye when she finally spoke, "Judy... in the absence of my dad and Quinn, I need to talk to you about something, I wanted to talk to you about it when Quinn and I were in Lima for Christmas but... I was a chicken and now... well now I have to ask you today because I want... well I want to go through with the rest of my plan soon."

"Are you okay? You don't look so good" The older woman asked with concern.

"I think I'll be okay, at least I hope I will." She couldn't not look at the woman, that was just cowardly at this point, so she gave Judy her full attention "Judy, I want you to know that I do not see Quinn as a possession, I know full well that she is a grown woman quite capable of making her own decisions and being in control of her own life. But when it comes to Quinn I am a person who wants to approach things properly-"

"Rachel, what's wrong, you're not breathing properly." And by not properly Judy meant not at all, she hadn't taken a breath in her entire paragraph.

"I am asking for your permission to marry your daughter." She had to say it bluntly, afraid she wouldn't be able to say it all.

Rachel worried as she saw Judy's expression fade to blank, and the older woman sit back in her chair. "...Finally" she breathed the one word, confusing the brunette, the brunette who had lost the pink streak in her hair a few years ago.

"Excuse me?" Rachel was suddenly worried... well worried more than she had been.

Judy patted Rachel's hand, trying to be reassuring as she found the right way to explain, "For the past 4 years, every time you two would call home and she would sound excited I was so sure you'd asked her already." She chuckled

"I-I never planned to without your permission." Rachel explained, she wanted to do this right.

Judy leaned a little closer and with a smile said, "That just earns you extra points."

With the weight of the question off her shoulders Rachel was able to relax back into her chair "... I really thought you'd say no."

"Why would you think that?" Judy sounded almost insulted... only almost though.

"Well... since Quinn and I started our relationship..." she fidgeted in her seat, it didn't help the situation that she was wearing a nice suit and the sun was beating down, "honestly I wondered if you just hoped or thought she was going through a phase." Rachel muttered guiltily. She knew she wouldn't have been Judy's first, second, or one hundredth choice for Quinn, at least not in the beginning.

Judy looked concerned, but she understood why Rachel had said such a thing. "For a short amount of time I... I suppose I did think of it as a phase for her, I'd never really thought about it too much was all. But... no," she smiled and it gave Rachel confidence "I see how happy you make her, and although my opinion would have been different years ago, right now I only want the best for my daughter," ever since she had let her down she only wanted the best for her, "And that's you, if you hadn't caught on," Judy added with a sly wink.

Rachel ducked her head, a little embarrassed that Judy could think so much of her, "I will be the best I can for her."

"You already have been," Judy patted her knee, "and I don't doubt that you'd fail her. But make sure she's good to you too."

"She is." Rachel didn't have to think about it. Quinn was there for her, she was encouraging, supportive, sometimes naggy, so that was a good wife trait. She was good to her, she was good for her.

"...So do you have a ring?" Judy had to ask.

"Oh, ah," Rachel dug her hand into her trouser pocket, "Yeah." She breathed as she opened the box to reveal a white gold vintage styled ring, with a round cut diamond sat centre, this was accented by two smaller matching cut diamonds, and the band itself had a delicate petal detail either side of the centre piece lined with smaller diamonds, the ring sure had some sparkle.

Judy's eyes widened with surprise, she cautiously took the box to get a better look at it, luckily Rachel trusted her for a few minutes. "Rachel, that's beautiful, where did you get such a thing?"

"I designed it, it was my dad's idea to use some stones from his grandmother's jewellery, its white gold too. The main stone, and two either side I took from a couple of the items, a few of the smaller diamonds were from a broach she had, and I had a couple of jewellers track me down more diamonds that would match," They were tiny stones detailed into the band but Rachel needed them to match what she already had so that it was perfect, "I had it crafted to Quinn's ring size and from my drawings," getting Quinn's ring size hadn't been fun, and barely discreet.

"Its amazing, any lucky girl would say yes without even having to meet you," she joked lightly before giving it back, for Rachel's safe keeping, "So you plan on asking her soon, seeing as you do have the ring with you?"

"I-I'm not sure." She snapped the boxed closed and slipped it back into her pocket, "I just need to find the right moment, and this is a big day already. I'm not sure what will feel right."

"You'll just know when the times right." Judy voice what Rachel already knew.

"I sure hope so." Rachel breathed uneasily, nervous for so many reasons.

They were disturbed from further discussion when Leroy rushed back to his seat on the other side of Judy."I just caught a glimpse of them getting ready to come through, looks like this thing should start any minute." It was peculiar, he wasn't Quinn's father, he hadn't been a father figure to Quinn, more of a fun uncle if anything, but he must have been as nervous as Quinn was. "Judy you give me that camera, I'll get these, you should just enjoy this." He encouraged her to hand over the camera, he knew what it was like... when Rachel had graduated from her class at community college, he had been so distracted taking photos' he barely remembered it all.

"Thank you Leroy," she wondered to herself at what point did she become so open, was it after the alcoholism and after the divorce.

It wasn't long before their hearts swelled with pride as they watched Miss Quinn Fabray walk across the stage to claim her diploma.

"So I have your permission?" Rachel whispered without taking her eyes off her girl friend.

Judy's eyes didn't leave her daughter either. She patted Rachel's hand and whispered back, "I wish you and my daughter every happiness, together"

...

A few further weeks later.

The apartment was packed up, they would be moving in a few weeks to the big city, New York, where Quinn had already got a graduate job. Rachel had completed her business class and with her experience would be looking for a new opportunity in the city. She already had good references from the studio she'd been working with for the past 4 years, and had parted with them on good terms. But it was time to move on in life, for both of them... and Raven.

They were all packed up for another vacation too, this would be the last chance they got for a while to take a longer vacation and get some of those road trip ideas done. Quinn looked over their packed up and properly labelled boxes as she wandered through the living space to the kitchen area where Rachel was cooking their last proper meal before their trip.

She smiled at her girlfriends back, and at Raven sitting by her feet as she chopped vegetables, the dog was patiently waiting and hoping for anything to fall from above.

Quinn just went to the fridge, she opened the door... then froze. Something had just occurred to her, something had been spelt out with those colourful magnet letters across the door Rachel had had since before Quinn had moved in. She blinked, and wondered if she really had seen what she thought she saw. She composed herself then stepped back and closed the door so she could see if it wasn't just her imagination.

The blonde graduate felt tear well in her eyes as she smiled to herself as she really read those words, spelt out with those magnets on the fridge door.

Wi1l U MarRy m3?

It was amazing that Rachel had a '?' magnet but hadn't been able to find an 'e'.

Even though Quinn was smiling there was part of her that wasn't sure what to think. Were the words really just a joke, or- "Rach?"she asked as she turned around. Her eyes dropped down to her girlfriend who was on one knee, looking up at her, hopeful. In her hand she held an open red velvet snap open box and a ring sitting inside. A ring that looked like it cost more than three months of Rachel's salary. She'd later find out Rachel had designed the ring herself from a few pieces of her great grandmothers jewellery, as her father had suggested. The drawings for the design had been hidden around the apartment for months.

Rachel swallowed thickly before finally opening her mouth to speak. "Quinn-"

"Can I wear the dress?" Quinn rushed out.

Rachel just furrowed her brow, "Wha-"

"Y-yes, I mean yes." The blonde stuttered uncontrollably, and it wasn't a question to hearing her name, it was just an answer.

"Huh?" Rachel asked up at her girlfriend, unintelligibly.

"Yes, I'll marry you," She repeated and added for clearness as she continued to stare between Rachel and the ring... and the dog nudging Rachel's side, wanting to play.

"I had a whole speech," Rachel offered, she'd been practising for weeks, thinking up everything she could to encourage Quinn to at least not run away, so you can understand why she wasn't jumping for joy just yet.

"I'll still marry you," Quinn told her quickly, still in some shock herself.

"You will? Are you sure? Because you did stutter at first." She reasoned from her spot still on the floor.

She sniffed as she felt herself getting emotional, "No, it's-"

Rachel stood up abruptly when she saw tears forming in Quinn's eyes, "You're crying." She accused in a soft worrying tone.

"I love you." Quinn told her as she stepped closer to her girlfriend, or maybe fiancée.

"I love you too," Rachel replied quickly, though still unsure if this had been a good idea or not.

"And I want to marry you," Quinn reconfirmed, trying to get that worry wiped off Rachel's face.

Rachel blinked away her doubt and glanced back to the ring she was still clutching between them, "O-okay, good." She finally managed a full smile.

Quinn quirked an eyebrow, in her usual way, as she asked. "Good?"

Rachel grinned, "Great, great," she corrected. She took the ring from the box then gently took Quinn's left hand, so she could slip it onto Quinn's ring finger. Their eyes met again when they both realised it was a perfect fit. And then Quinn was leaning in slowly and Rachel was meeting her halfway...

The End... well, the end for us.

**Thanks for reading if any of you are still there...**

**Oh, and the song was _Where I Sleep, Emeli Sandé_**


End file.
